Coronavirus Song Parodies

Shit like this

‘Is this a fever? Is this just allergies?
Caught in a lockdown, no escape from the family’
Coronavirus Rhapsody (after Queen, of course)

‘I need toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper
I need toilet paper, it’s my Corona’
My Corona (after The Knack)

Etc., etc., etc., ad nauseam.
It’s a ‘for fuck’s sake, give it a rest’ cunting for Coronavirus song parodies. Somebody somewhere had what seemed like a bright idea to cheer us punters up in our time of trial. Take a popular song and bastardise it with an ‘amusing’ lyric on the dreaded ‘C’ word theme.
Okay, I’ll grant that the first few to appear were fairly amusing, just like the first few Hitler ‘Downfall’ parodies. Now every cunt and his dog wants to get in on the act on soshul meeja, and is under the impression that he’s the new Stephen Sondheim. Now these fucking things are spreading like a plague of locusts, faster than the virus itself it seems, and I’ve got news for their creators; they’re becoming more irritating than a nasty little rash on the privates.

Put a sock in it will you, you cunts. If another one of these damn things pops up on my computer screen I’m going to put my foot through it and send the bill to Youtube.

Nominated by Ron Knee

( Please note that our resident songster Chas C has issued a statement to his fan saying he won’t be joining in with this as there isn’t any money in it )

88 thoughts on “Coronavirus Song Parodies

  1. Let’s not stop at song parodies, some cunt was shutting his kitchen cupboard doors to the drum breakout I’m in the air tonight yesterday, one family had decided to record a song a week to relieve their tedium, the problems begin when the media believes the rest of us want to see these cunts.

    Great cunting Ron

  2. It ain’t just online now…cunts are singing for the NHS on karaoke machines on council estates live…then having some family member record the performance and upload to the net. Fuck me, what’s wrong with these mongtards???

  3. The best idea I heard (on sickipedia) was ‘tits out for the NHS, 8p.m. Thursdays.’

    No fatties or spaniel’s ears.

  4. Great cunting, Ron. Appearing on Soshul Meeja are no manner of people in professions, doing sterling work, some of them in my profession, posting pictures of themselves wearing PPE trying to get as many ‘likes’ as possible. Not the British way. And what doesn’t float my fucking boat is the ‘What about me and my job’ cunts that pipe up on every posting. Some cunt on LBC called up last night and tried to say because he’s a truck driver he’s as much on the front line as doctors, nurses and paramedics. He was treated with incredulity by the presenter. Not disputing he’s doing a valuable job, but, really?

    • I find the whole love the NHS thing difficult, many of these people celebrating our NHS hero’s never gave the NHS a second thought until Covid-19.

      I fear once this is over things will return to the way they were.

      • We’ll see how much we’re loved by politicians when we ask for a payrise. The only clapping from those parasitic cunts will be when it’s voted down in the House Of Commons.

      • I think they may give you a medal instead maybe an MBE a nice honour to have but it doesn’t food on the table.

      • I thought you were winding me up, Wanksock but you’re fucking right!! I’ll put mine in the drawer with my others.

      • I don’t think there’s any doubt the NHS are falsifying the data on how people die and are corruptly saying people are dying of covid19 – even when they jumped out of a window or fell from an airplane without the parachute

      • Why the fuckity fuck would they do that????? Do the NHS get a fucking bonus for every poor cunt that dies of Covid-19???

  5. They are going to put the students to work and furloughed workers, pick that fruit and veg you cunts. Maybe a problem starting work before 2pm for students.

    Why not the hardcore unemployed, a million of the cunts who just can’t find a job no matter how hard they looked. Plenty of jobs now you cunts and your already being paid.

    They can sing old cotton songs when picking the fruit and veg and it can be broadcast to cheer up all us cunts who financed the early retirement at 16 of Wayne and Waynetta, we could all get a boost from that.

  6. The only song that should be sung is “Rule Britannia” after a successful military campaign!
    And speaking of which – everyone is bored, nothing to do – it’s about time we invaded somewhere, whilst obviously singing and applauding ourselves doing it 😀👍

    • We should clap tonight for those that served to keep China British.
      (Meaning of Life, I think)

    • I wouldn’t put it past those Argie cunts to try to invade the Falklands again just now, the bastards.

      • I think the Russian ships in the Channel were there just to film KGB-TV’s latest sitcom…cameras pointed firmly at GB.
        Putin must be pissing himself laughing…

  7. I’ve been wondering…

    Did the staff who work in the shops have a choice when it came to ‘being a hero’?

    A lot of the fuckers are on minimum wage. If they said, “Fuck this, I’m not risking my life for £8 an hour”, I believe they wouldn’t be entitled to benefits because they’d quit their jobs? I could be wrong, of course. I am a cunt doesn’t always check his facts.

    Seems a bit like forcing those fuckers onto the roof at Chernobyl if they had no choice but to carry on, right?

    “Ok you can quit, bit you’ll get no government handout or dole of any kind.”

    Come to work with no PPE or fucking starve to death seems to be the choice here.

    Yes, I get that it’s the same for NHS staff, but coming into contact with disease is kind of expected. Yes, I do consider NHS staff heroes before anyone jumps down my throat…I’m just curious if the poor checkout staff had any fucking choice in the matter.

      • Reminds me of our choice back in the day ‘convert to christianity or we’ll kill you’. Converting got you killed most of the time anyway, so die for your cause or die after betraying what you believe.

  8. I was actually singing the my corona knack parody song to myself before it was covered by someone and became famous by twat coverbands. I’ve been watching the slow development of corona virus as early as late November in wuhan and south korea when every shithead politician thought it was ‘just the flu’ or ‘the flu is worse’ crowd of cunts.

    Next time the scientists who name the next version of sars or mers just leave out the flu part because the cunts who lord over us are just too fucking stupid to know the difference

  9. “Can we leave the majority of them indoors”

    Get out the welding tools out and weld the fuckers inside their houses and apartments like they did in wuhan

  10. Not a parody but first remember it mentioned by Paul Simon in 1972, in connection to an alleged assignation with a youthful spic at an educational facility. Quite a good song, all things considered.

    • To be fair the Queen one at the top made me smile, but not heard any.
      This clapping things getting right on my tits though.
      Fair play as a one off for the NHS workers like our own DCI Gene, but talking now about doing it for the people who work in supermarkets?
      Wtf?
      Nowt against them (worked nights in a supermarket myself )
      But the daft fuckers round here have fireworks year round and any excuse to be a noisy twat theyll jump at it!
      Whos next to clap for?
      Bloke in the all night garage?
      Just suffer in silence you silly cunts.

      • The ones that have really given me a bad case of the twitch are those by ‘woke’ lefty cunts, singing variations on ‘Imagine’ about C-19 being the catalyst for world revolution and ‘all the people sharing all the world’. Yeah right.
        Where’s my fucking candle?
        Tosspots.

      • Then they want a ‘clap for Boris’ and a ‘shine a torch in t sky for all t cunts who have died from C-19’ ….I was I bed at five to 8, bottle of home made cider in one hand, little DAz in tuther, watching only fools and horses….I thought sheep bleated not clapped

      • Pu it this way, I didn’t feel like ‘clapping’ the ‘wonderful’ NHS in 2013. When my late mother – then a 70 year old cancer patient with four months to live – waited nine hours for an ambulance that never came and she had to go home by taxi at 8pm with a catheter attched….

        What a load of fucking bollocks…

      • If she’d have needed an ambulance that badly, she’d have got one. Conscious and breathing’s not a priority to us as harsh as that may sound, Norman. There’s not a special garage they pull ambulances and crews out of in times on high demand. I don’t know your circumstances but I’ve been to a job, as a paramedic crew, to take someone in who’d been waiting hours, walked out to the fucking truck, past the two fucking cars on the drive with her bags and sat in a fucking seat for the ten bastard minute ride to hospital. Husband followed behind in the cunting car. Whilst we’re with her, a General Broadcast goes out for a cardiac arrest, CPR in progress, nothing to send. Happens every fucking day somewhere and it boils my fucking piss. Angry? You fucking bet I am.

      • DcI – Doing a top job lad. Keep going. I couldn’t do what you do. Well done pal and thank you – DAz

      • Can’t understand all this clapping for the NHS, all you ever hear is, another 600 plus poor cunts croaked today, after showing signs/with Corbyn19 and it keeps rising
        They can’t be doing that good a job of it if every cunt is dying
        Still, looks like heart attacks, strokes, cancer and fatal traffic accidents have been eradicated no one is dying from them now thank god

      • Put your fucking Pot Noodle down, open the fucking curtains and share your miraculous cure that’s evaded the world’s scientists, then, Chicken George. There’s a shit-load of folk waiting for you, including my fucking mate. Oh, and we’re still getting plenty of poor cunts dying of other stuff, cancer included – went to one myself, this week. My mate’s been to three cardiac arrests this week, too.

        Cunt.

      • Chill superhero, I was having a go at the msm and all the bollox they’re spouting on the tellybox

        btw, my mother, with terminal cancer was seriously ill 10 days ago, phoned for ambulance which turned up pretty quick paramedics all geared up like beekeepers no problem with that under the current climate, she had a temperature so they said they were taking her to St Jimmys hospital, we followed in the car but when we got there they were just taking her on to the “virus” ward, their words, and would be testing her for the virus, there were fifteen other people on there at that time, the senior nurse said she would be while and it would be best if we went home and she would contact us,
        I asked the nurse if there was any confirmed cases of the virus at the hospital she said no, only suspected cases on the virus ward, so if my ma didn’t have the fucking bug then she could have got it from one of the others if they had it, very fucking clever
        Turns out either her doctor or the pharmacist got her medication wrong and she had a allergic reaction, they sent her home in a taxi at 4am in the morning, so forgive me, i’m with Norman and they can stick their applause up their arseholes

        Cunts

      • Very big of you not to have a problem with our PPE. Much obliged to you. And pyrexia is one of the symptoms of Covid-19 so she wouldn’t have gone into ‘normal’ ED. Call it a hunch, but, I think that they MAY have known what they were doing on the ward your mother was sent to so I expect she was safe. They have a direct link to Facebook for advice on the ‘Virus Wards’ for any advice required.

      • You’re welcome

        Not only did she have a very high temperature as we all now know is a symptom of the virus, she was having very severe stomach pains because someone fucked up with her meds
        So some may not know what they’re doing.
        The phone call the nurse promised would have been appreciated so we could have picked her up ourselves instead of putting her in a taxi at 4am
        Obviously the nhs do some great work but my last three experiences at Jimmys is fucking shite

      • Ask Facebook or social media for advice, next time, if you’re not fucking happy instead of 999 and the NHS.

        But we both know the answer to that one, don’t we? Your original post casts you as a cunt and my impression hasn’t changed one iota.

      • I’d call leaving my old man in a hospital bed and no cunt comes to see him is pretty shite he only went in with a fucking stomach pain he was dead six days later.
        #staffordshirenhsscandal

      • Is this sponsored bullshit, proceeds going to the NHS? Or are you what one calls a ‘Troll’? Like Bertie says, you do speak some crap. How black’s your cat by the way? What’s the weather like in Twelvearife?

        Bupa’s ready and waiting.

      • No, just a piss take of the media coverage of this pandemic that obviously went over your head
        You’re a sensitive, aggressive soul who started with the abuse
        I just told you about some facts that have happened to me, regarding the nhs, seeing as you started getting aggressive, they’re not above criticism get over yourself dear

      • No it wasn’t. It was a blatent piece of sensationalist bullshit as is your usual wont.

        ‘Above criticism’? ‘Sensitive’? I get ‘expert’ cunts like you telling me how to do my job, EVERY day, so it’s water off a duck’s back, ‘Dear’.

      • Show me anywhere on here where I have shown told you how to do your job
        the bullshit is coming from you sir
        get over yourself

      • What pissed mt off was my old lady was wheelchair bound at the time. She was confined to a wheelchair years before she got the Big C. So I had to carry her with that thing attached to her into the cab, while the taxi driver (who was great by the way) folded the chair into the boot. Quite an undignified way to go home to die….

      • Hospital could and should have provided a patient transport truck, Norman. At least that’s what they do round here.

      • I said, ‘Cunts like you’, Sensationalist Billy, as in cunts, full stop. Now fuck off and see your GP to complain about the NHS and fingers crossed he’s an admirer of Harold Shipman.

      • I can see you’re upset so I will be the bigger man and refrain from using abuse like yourself and leave it there.
        As we know with the loony left they can’t handle the truth and go on a tirade of abuse

        I’d also better not say anything about the ‘stressed ‘nhs staff fucking about at work dancing about like cunts and posting them on tik tok, youtube etc whilst people are dying.
        it would probably put you over the edge.
        I would also say I hope your GP isn’t a fan of Harold Shipman, I wouldn’t want anyone to end up the way those poor people did with that evil nhs worker

      • ‘Loony Left’??? Really? Fuck me, son, you’ve lost the plot!! (Probably never had it). Keep clutching those straws, though. You’ve reinforced my opinion of you, though, with every post. And I’m not alone, am I? NHS is recruiting any time you want to join in the videos. We’re always on the look-out for a dozy cunt with a chip on their shoulder who’s cat is blacker than anyone elses and knows fuck-all. You should fuck off over to the ‘other’ site.

        (Sorry, Admin, but he’s a cunt, an absolute cunt. I don’t mind a differing opinion, see Norman’s post, above, but this provocative, bullshitting spangle can fuck right off. It’s not his debut, either. He seems to have pissed a few people off over the times. And I’ll take my punishment on the chin).

      • That made me laugh DCI. Loony left?
        I’ve never once heard you express what your political stance is when posting. Anyone who was on the loony left would be extremely unlikely to go onto IsAC unless they were absolute masochists. 😀

      • Cheers, Bertie. No, I haven’t. Both sides have ideas I like. Even Uncle Jezza stood for some things I like and agree with, but, so did Maggie Thatcher. I love this site, and the posters, hilarious, it’s a release from the stresses of work and having to say the right thing rather than what I’m thinking. It’s like that fucking irritating bingo ad where she harps on about a community. It doesn’t need cunts on it being the internet equivalent of hemorrhoids.

        Good evening.

      • Jeremy Corbyn. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day. 😃

        Evening DCI.

  11. Brilliant. Love the way they offered free ‘premium content’ to bored Italians.

  12. Last nights attention seeking clapathon was by far the loudest so far. Some cunts had some kind of chant going but I couldn’t make out the words.
    Wankers.

  13. As well as music videos I keep getting fitness video posts through on social media feeds. It started about a year ago with the odd one. Now I get about 20 a day and they’re increasing in number. Even that coffin dodger Diane Moran (Green Goddess) is doing one in her shitty conservatory for the BBC…..
    All I need right now is terminally self-obsessed, fuckwits, trying to out ‘fitness’ each other. It’s like web based cuntathon, One guy did one in his back yard ….it looked like it had been burgled (sort your garden out you scruffy cunt). All of these fuckers are trying to become influencers … translate as `,self-posturing, know it all mongtards who believe they know what’s best for everyone else. What if I followed one of these wanky workouts and collapsed with a heart attack…are they liable? Probably not. They are liable for pissing me off with their individual and collective gob shite videos that usually start with a Yanky “Hey guys !!!…..” DELETE. CUNTS!

    • Zumba with Rusty Lee
      Aerobics with Stevie Hawking
      Or breakdancing with Debbie mcGee,
      No need Daz is there?
      Why cant we just be left alone to enjoy our house arrest?
      Im all for a strong attitude in difficult times,
      But some sleb cunt panting onscreen in gym gear?
      Give yourself a round of applause as you fuck off.

      • There was a ‘clap for our kids’ going around…..Wonderfully articulated MNC. I just wanna walk me dog, sup me ale and keep mesen to mesen.

  14. At last! LBC earlier revealed that Suck Ma Dick Khunt’s father was, wait for it, a bus driver!

    I can now worry about something else ..

    You cunts could have told me.

    Now all I need to do is find out what the MCCann’s did with…..

    • Wheres BWC?
      Not been on for a bit, hope hes ok, keeping a civil tongue in his head.

  15. How about all the hilarious videos of dancing nurses? I assume they’re hilarious, because I haven’t watched one.
    And while I’m at it, it is super generous of companies to donate goodies to the NHS staff, but now nurses that I work with are emailing companies asking for stuff. How rude. These companies are going to be in such financial trouble once this is all over and yet we have nurses in their secure jobs begging for freebies. When did this country become so me me me? Urrrgh it makes me cross it do.

      • Tell me about it. Also, around the staff entrance of ICU, we have laminated flags from around the world and the words “Heroes’ Entrance” above the door. I keep telling them that self praise is no praise but I get poo-pooed. I think the real heroes are your lot and the ward nurses who are seeing to patients not knowing what they are carrying, probably just being protected by basic masks and gloves.
        How’s your crew mate doing?

      • Fuck-all heroic in what I’m doing, Betty. Can’t be doing with all the self-praise bullshit. I and my family/mates know I do a good job and that’s good enough for me. I waited round the corner until five past eight, last night so I didn’t get out of the car during the clap-a-thon, touching though it is. Neighbours all know what I do and knock the door when they need medical help, now and again so they’re out in force every week.

        My mate? He’s not good, thanks for asking.

      • ‘Heroes Entrance’??

        For fuck’s sake!! Self-adulation! My past won’t let me do that!!

      • The last time I heard deafening clapping the Judge Fiddler had just glared down at me whilst doffing the black cap! Luckily I am a f*cking fast runner – but seriously for a moment – well done and thanks DCI, not the easiest job at the best of times but especially valued in the situation we are in 👍

  16. “When did this country become so me me me? ”

    At the turn of the Millennium.

  17. Apart from LinkedIn (which doesn’t really qualify in my eyes) I don’t participate in soshal meejia and all the narcissistic crap that entails. Consequently I haven’t been exposed to any of this shit and am happier for it.

    I’m more interested in the insight into how things really are as reported by our own DCI Gene. Keep up the good work DCI. Still have everything crossed for your buddy.

  18. I wouldn’t find any of them remotely interesting or funny on a normal day, so why the fuck does anyone think it would help morale facing the consequences of this lockdown. Fuck off, and also fuck off to the neighbours by me who think it’s acceptable to have commercial radio blasting out in their garden. Fucking cunts.

  19. Excellent nom Ron. I feel exactly the same. I got a feelgood e-mail today asking me to forward a poem that would be posted on some site and presumably make everybody reflect on the meaning of life. I decided to compose my own which I duly sent off and claimed it was a Japanese Haiku translated by Ezra Pound.

    There was a man called Hunt
    He was a fucking cunt
    A cunt, a cunt, a cunt, a cunt
    That fucking cunt called Hunt

  20. I’m not sure what day it was, it was one day this week. People in the shop where I work were clapping like seals at 8 o’clock at night.

    https://tenor.com/view/clapping-seal-applause-gif-7820544

    I had no idea what was going on. I asked a fellow staff member, is it The Price Is Right?

    I imagine, if we played it here, a voice from nowhere would call out the names of members on this here fine website. “Come on down!”

  21. What about a two finger salute day for MPs – in fact we could do it everyday – everyday is a good day to cunt our MPs – fuck off you cunts – they are all useless, thieving fuckwits

  22. Oh my, you think happy clappers and singing is bad – just read this headline in the Times

    EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT
    A star-studded coronavirus benefit concert

    “Could this be the closest the coronavirus pandemic gets to a Live Aid? One World: Together at Home is almost certainly the most ambitious live show to be staged since the world retreated behind its front door. Featuring legends (Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, Elton John), huge stars (David Beckham, Idris Elba, Chris Martin) and white-hot young things (Lizzo, Billie Eilish, Kacey Musgraves), it is being curated by Lady Gaga and will be shown on streaming platforms and American TV networks next Saturday night (April 18) with highlights on BBC One the following evening.

    If that cast list sounds like a social-distancing nightmare, don’t fret: the clue is in the name. Each segment of Together at Home will be broadcast from the performer’s home.”

    No No No fucking NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    • This is nothing to do with saving any cunt.

      It’s because the celebs can’t handle not being the centre of attention. I knew something like this would happen.

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