What a load of cunts expats are, eh?

Or should I say Cow Pats, you know, the wankers and bitches who mostly infest the Costa del Cunt to Benidumb. Now Coronavirus has hit their shitty timeshare complex, they’ll no doubt run to the nearest British Embassy and beg for fast track treatment….on the NHS of course. These wankers and slags in Spain make me feel embarrassed to be British. Fat, past it, beer-bellied, shit tattooed, West ‘Am’ types with their Pam/Cassandra type bird who is wrinkled, browner than me and smokes a fag within a minute of waking up, with smoking wrinkles around her gob.

They act like they own the unlucky area they live in and think having a shite Paella is exotic. Get a load of these cunts together and they get pissed and loud and show as much class as runny dog shit. Let’s hope a load of them get together, one or two has Coronavirus and share a Corona lager with another Cow pat. These pathetic wankers can’t hack it here and run away to be with like-minded wankers to try and make some new ‘Colony’. All they do is embarrass this country, yet act more patriotic than someone who actually lives in Blighty. Then you get the wannabe ‘Essex gangster’ cunt with his peroxide blonde girlfriend types, who prance abaaaaht like they are some big timers.

Fuck them and there shite egg and chip lunches.

If you leave this country permanently, your say on anything going on here and medical care privileges leave with you, but of course these selfish cunts who left can’t hide their selfishness and will say we have to get involved when Coronavirus affects them: ‘We are British and we need help. Spain has ran out of the equipment needed to keep my fat, Type 2 diabetes arse alive’.

What a load of cunts these traitors are and we are better off not having them here anyway.

Enjoy your shite Beer, watered down spirits and Coronavirus,

Yours sincerely,
Black and White cunt.

P.S. Go fuck yourselves.

Nominated by Black and White Cunt

29 thoughts on “Expats

  1. Mrs K is an ex-pat. We met when I was up your side of the world many, many moons ago visiting my brother who lives on the South coast. She has never once expressed an interest in returning to live there, despite all her family being in England.

    Having said all that, I can point to a fuck ton of ex pats from assorted countries who do nothing but wax lyrical about their Mother/Father nation, and endlessly bag New Zealand.

    Those are the cunts who give all immigrants a bad name down here…..just fuck off. Either stop whinging or go the fuck back to wherever you came from.

    From my experiences when traveling the world, most countries are the same once you scratch beneath the surface, in regards housing/work/wages/social problems etc etc., so emigrating is no guarantee of a better life in greener pastures.

    • Quick unrelated addendum:

      We’ve just gone into countrywide lock down with full effect from midnight Wednesday NZ time. Good luck to all you other cunters in these decidedly uncertain times.

      • Too true Blue! Glad to see our most eastern state setting the pace. Jacinda has grown a bigger pair than ScoMo. He will have to do the same in a week or so. Hunker down KC. Thoughts and best wishes from across the ditch. Hope you kept your semi auto !

      • Fuck I wish! There was a run on the local gun store this morning so those guys are obviously expecting the worst from their countrymen…..or they’re going to start the riot!

        Evening Grumpy

      • Evening Kiwi, is there bog roll and pasta hoarders jamming up the Pak’nSave in NZ? Diane Abbott lead a lonely candle vigil last night as the local KFC in Hackney closed its doors.

      • Wish we had gun stores to round off the daily shop. When the virus mutates next month, hopefully we’ll only be visited by replica looters.

  2. Well said. Perfectly describes the coast dwellers. Glad I don’t live there.

  3. I would take back all those wankers in exchange for the foreign trash we have. Well actually, I would settle for getting rid of the peacefuls, Somalis and pikeys. Fuck off you cunts.

  4. Stop everything, babs in the costs del cunt has run out toothpaste and wants to come home, send the SAS in to rescue her.

  5. Fucking brilliant cunting B&W… Ive had a fucking good laugh this morning with your beautifully worded architecture!

  6. This MAY apply to the Costas, I’m sure it does. Over here in Cyprus, these cunts are few and far between I promise. There was a few popped their heads above the parapet when Brexit was voted for (Oh dear, my life-styles going to change, please stop it!), but as us sensibles said at the time, NOTHING will change – and it HASN’T. Mostly we’re OK people. Don’t make the mistake of tarring everybody with the same brush.
    Thanks for listening.

    • Nice one Mickey.
      I live in inland Spain, speak the language and always mix with the locals. Bout 150 people in our village,99% Spanish. Good healthcare if needed, no hassle with the lockdown. Feel safer here than being back in shithole UK that everyone on here moans about on a daily basis. Quite agree, tar and brush.

  7. Brilliant cunting B&WC. I couldn’t agree more. I bet the expat cunts in Spain are shitting it right now, probably trying to swim back to the UK.

    These fuckers want their cake and to eat it too. They don’t like the weather, the gloom, the stress and the busy life in the UK, so they fuck off to foreign shores to live the life of Riley, get so tanned that they resemble John Wayne’s old saddle bag, stay in their pathetic expat ghettos with their ‘God Save The Queen’ mentality and pie ‘n’ chips cafes whilst having the absolute gall and arrogance not to even attempt to learn the language, or fully integrate into the native community.

    BUT!! As soon as it all goes tits up, their health starts to deteriorate, or some crisis like Covid-19 emerges, they know where fucking Blighty is and either want back in, or for someone here to bail them out and rescue them.

    They can all go and get fucked, as far as I am concerned. The priority here is UK citizens who have remained, not those who thought the grass was greener when it suited. I don’t care how many fucking taxes they paid when they lived here. You made your bed, now lie in it. You don’t get to have it both ways.

    • ‘they resemble John Wayne’s old saddlebag’.
      Brilliant turn of phrase Nurse!
      Don’t know if anyone saw the coverage from Spain a few days ago; country in lockdown, police on the streets, and tattood cunts out and about bevvying, claiming ‘it’s only a bit of the flu’.
      Fuckers should have been tazered to within an inch of their lives.

      Great cunting B & W!

      • If I’d been the Jefe de Policia, I’d have just shot the cunts.
        If I go back to Switzerland (sadly increasingly unlikely, but I’d dearly love to), I at least speak one of the languages near-fluently, and have two years of German behind me, from my time in Vienna. If they told me I had to give up my UK passport…I’d have no trouble at all; I’d grab a Swiss one.

        I came back here in mid 2015 and, to my very great distress, saw that it really had gone down the crapper.

  8. I’m an expat, but thankfully not in that part of the world! I stay well away from any others of the same ilk, as those cunts will eventually ruin it for all! As always, it’s the fucking Brits and Aussies that cause all the who haa! Drunken cunts that they invariably are. The local chicks flock round them like flies around a hot, steaming turd because they have lots of disposable income and mostly bigger cocks than the indigenous male, allegedly. Sadly I’ve had to return to dear old Blighty for a week or two, as I’ve chosen the wrong time to run out of Marmite!

  9. I agree with most of what has been said above, I have been an ex pat twice in Africa and Eastern Europe, a very different type of person and it was not sun and beer.
    What fucks me off, and it should fuck you off too is the cunts no speaker da lingo!
    I know someone who has returned from 10 years living in Spain and does not speak Spanish!
    That holds the same contempt to me as the old Indian lady on the bus who does not speak English!

    • None of them do, until they want benefits then they can all say “me want money”. I am incensed that this country pays for translators for this filth, try it in any other country and they would say, if you need one pay for one. Watch how quickly the cunts learn to speak English then.

  10. The lady whom played the character Pat Butcher in Eastenders, Pam St Clement, after she left the show she became an ex Pat.

  11. Right on cunting – my in laws own a property in Portugal, cunts voted for brexit and are now worried about their little ‘nest egg’ because it was purchased with cash from the uk – fucking nest egg – birds coming home to roost I’d say..

    Now all this corona bollocks has kicked off they want to fuck off and hide over there.

    Very pleased you’re retired and sponging off the rest off us and having the luxury to decide what to do with your cunty coffin dodging lives while the rest of us wonder how much longer we’re going to have a job.

    Makes by balls swell and piss boil when I listen to them bleating.

    Fucking cunts.

  12. On a similar note bit different tone – is the ones that then go on TV to try and compare how much cheaper its going to be living in their new abode than the shithole cesspit they left – and then all start crying when they realise a place by the beach is going to cost more for bread and milk than a shithole on the council estates. So they head home. Cunts

  13. Why would anyone want to return to the third World of the UK? “Oooh Doreen, I don’t remember all these P*kis bein ‘ere last time I visited – what do y mean I’m bein arrested”?
    Good nom B&WC – and as a footnote China gotta pay BIG TIME for inflicting this (just like pretty much every major virus over the last hundred Years) fucking shit on us – get hiding Ting Tong Dench!

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