Checkout Queue Jumpers

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Checkout queue jumpers are cunts…

When there’s a queue at a shop checkout and another till opens, I always say ‘You were before me… Go ahead’ to anyone in front of me, but the fuckers who are behind me, who simply swan over to the newly opened till not giving a fuck who is in front of them, or how long they’ve been waiting, are fucking bastards. Where was this pond life brought up?!

Cunts like that make me ashamed to be British and as they say on Skaro, they should be fucking ex-termi-nated!

Nominated by Norman

81 thoughts on “Checkout Queue Jumpers”

  1. The whole shopping experience shows that British people have lost their manners, especially during this virus crisis. I partly blame millenials who, generally, are ill-mannered cunts (yet are the first to be offended???) and then there are those shoppers who are simply not British.

    I wandered around my ASDA shaking my head in wonder last night. The country has gone truly mad. Still, being dark, the Yale Key of Justice did some good work in the disabled bays….

  2. The same selfish ubercunts that are stock-piling, Norman, and jumping he queue whilst carring out their nefarious activities. I’d give the cunts a 9mm pain relief tablet, right between their eyes. ‘Me first, then me and I’ll have whatever’s left’ is their motto.

    Scum.

    • Hate queue jumpers but more so hate people whi have 2 months worth of shopping and someones behind them with one item and they don’t say “is that all youve got? Go before me ”
      I try to shame them if im in front by bumping the poor fucker up the queue.
      This tends to be middle-class, middle aged women, selfish cunts.
      Tbey have a heart attack in carpark?
      Stepping over them,
      Maybe liberate their toilet rolls an baked beans.

  4. You’ll find these cunts in all sorts of queues and not just in supermarkets.

    You could be at the front of a queue in a bus stop, with a bus that’s 30 minutes late. And then as soon as the fucking thing appears, all the piss-taking cunts rise up from the shadows and barge their way to the front regardless of whether you were there first.

    • In Londonistan orderly queues at bus stops are something that disappeared years ago. It’s the foreign way these days. A couple of years ago I was driving down the Barking Road, which is like a road in Islamabad these days. It was a boiling hot day and my throat was like Ghandi’s left flip flop so I pulled into a McDonalds to get one of those cokes with ice. I had a fucking hard on for it. So I stepped inside and there were a about a dozen letterboxes, with brat mini bombers hanging on their skirts, pointing at the displays above the counter, screaming at the staff (also fucking foreign cunts obviously) to get them this, that and the other. That’s the peaceful way……the one who shouts the loudest gets served first. Needless to say, I went without my ice cold coke and fucked off to look for somewhere civilised. This country is fucked.

    • I find a good elbow to the throat tends to stop their roll fairly effectively unless Dick’s around with the hounds

  5. I like watching videos of dark keys and camel worshippers getting killed and maimed whilst in the supermarket.
    It’s a nice hobby.
    The cunts.

  6. Having served 22 years in the Army, I often say to my civvy colleagues how rude I find my new cohort of co-workers. In the Armed Forces, courtesy is everything and it’s nothing to do with rank, class or such like. It’s about mutual respect – so I’m courteous to the general and he’s polite to me and so forth.

    I wonder if ex-services cunters have had the same experience.

    • Absolutely.
      They need a fucking re-brief, most days I find myself having to try really hard not to nut some ignorant cunt.
      And they’re normally foreign cunts.

    • You’re right again, Sarn’t Major, Sir! As you know, courtesy, manners and teamwork are embedded from the minute you take the Queens Shilling! The guy in the dugout next to you may be a cunt, but he’s as cold and knackered as you, and welcome to half of your ‘hot wet!’ Asians still show respect to their elders and betters, but the UK is fucked when it comes to manners, and it’s down to the fucking parents of the millennials! Time to bring back the birch! Oh, and capital punishment!

    • When I was bailing out a plane in the wee small hours with a morter strapped to my leg and carry an SLR with fuck knows how much ammo I kindly invited the guy behind me to go first. Well,manners cost nothing you know Sgt Maj .

  7. Pity we can’t follow South Africa’s old example of apartheid in supermarkets.

    9 checkouts for the whites
    1 checkout for everyone else!

    Having said that, I can see a day where that might actually happen, but with one or two refinements should we ever end up with a Labour/Libtard government

    9 checkouts for Remoaning, entitled, woke, libtard millennial, gimmecunt wankers
    1 checkout situated in the basement for Leaver, gammon, white privilege racist cunts.

      • I’ll let that one slide MNC. Please don’t morph in to a fellow cunter, it’s just not you. Take that rickshaw to a remote mud hut and have a quiet word with yourself. Good day Sir. 🤣

      • Sorry Rob.
        Im not proud of myself.
        Bertie sold me a joke book, doesnt seem to be living up to its name.
        ☺

      • Don’t be sorry Miserable. Learn from this and move on. That Bertie is a scoundrel !

      • Oh yes grade A rotter and a bounder par excellence.
        Like him though👍😁

      • I’m sorry lads, no refunds on my early edition joke books in the present climate, on account of hygiene reasons.

      • Easily solved,that one Rob. Miserable has got an exchange system going with other cunters.

  8. Off topic,but do you remember the Africunt Nigerian nurse who was causing me problems? All seems to have gone wrong for her.

    That is what happens when you lock horns with a fat Jewish poof who is demonstrably far cleverer than you…..

    Bitch

    Good morning.

  9. Nothing a knuckle sandwich followed by a Glasgow kiss wont fix the cunts wont do it again….

  10. The trouble is that people are far too reticent about pulling people up when they see queue-jumping etc. I genuinely have no problem with confronting them….they tend to be the type who are pretty soft and useless anyhow and a right-in-their-face “What the Fuck do you think you’re doing” rather than a muttered “Oh,how rude” is usually enough….Luckily we have next to no Stabby people up here or I’d have probably ended up with more spear-holes in me than a British soldier at Isandlwana by now.

    Don’t agree with it just being Gimmigrants and the young who have no manners…..I actually find that odl people out shopping can be as rude,selfish and entitled as anyone,if not more so.

    • I’m with you Dick, I tell the cunts, it used to happen all the time in the Midlands and mostly it was Eastern European’s who believed the queue was optional.

      I’d tell the cunts, the way they swagger up to the queue was enough to wind me up but actually jumping the queue ain’t happening on my watch.

      • CF24 disgustingly diverse. Agreed, though, not restricted by reasons of ideology or race – no shortage of local chavscum round here. Da wimmin look like sumo wrestlers in shell suits, trackies and other glamourous apparel…

    • Agreed, that shocks me more to be honest,
      Expect older people to know better, have better manners.
      Still hold doors open for women, but not a fuckin doorman, not my job doing it out of politeness.
      Some people are rude selfish cunts irregardless of age, culture, etc
      Cunts are cunts.

      • I generally open doors for elderly women out of respect; but fuck the younger cunts, I just let the door close on them.

        They want equality and regard me as an evil misogynistic predator etc., then they can have a faceful of door!

      • If they’re on their phone, I don’t bother.
        Fuckpigs and shitweasels with no sense of awareness whatsoever.

    • Saddens me that some oldies are the rudest, nost entitled cunts I deal with.

      ‘Pick my legs up and put them on the stretcher’.

      ‘Say please’….

      They hate it.

      • “‘Pick my legs up and put them on the stretcher”
        Yes, but to be fair, they had unscrewed them first.
        😀

      • I genuinely work for an elderly woman with one leg. It takes her ages to answer her land line phone. She is a top customer though, always happy to help her as she’s not slow paying.

      • And on the other hand they’re the least likely to call us when they actually need us.

  11. Norman the I’ll mannered dragged up from the gutter cunts could likely be from Scunthorpe…

      • A play on words if you like and no offence meant to any fellow cunters from Scunthorpe but someone definitely put the cunt into there.

      • Hehee, thats what his dad used to say!
        I like Rtcs dad he sounds good fun😁

      • He didn’t put the cunt in. He took the cunt out of Scunthorpe Miserable.

      • No probs Miserable. Nice of you to stick up for my mum, much appreciated. She had a heart of gold and never jumped a queue in all her 79 years. Except once, at a particularly rowdy jumble sale in 1963.

  12. Slightly off topic , I was in M&S yesterday and witnessed a woman who looked like an older version on Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer demanding her personal space. The interesting part was she wanted about twenty feet in all directions and was screeching so as to get it. I couldn’t work out if it was funny or disturbing in the extreme.
    Who the fuck would want to work in a shop these days?

    • Any job involving a lot of face to face contact with the general public is a nightmare these days. They know they can call you a cunt all day long and if you so much as look at them in the wrong way they can get you the sack.
      And why did you leave your last job?
      Some Joe Daki called me a filthy infidel so I chinned the cunt.
      Next!

  13. The Yanks are pretty good at sorting out queue jumpers…..

    ‘Hey buddy there’s a line here!’

    Definitely not afraid telling cunts where to get off!

  15. Some people, proper British or not, seem to walk around in their own bubble and are genuinely unaware that they are ignorant cunts.
    Others just don’t give a fuck that they are cunts and are happy to grab grab grab and think they should be first for everything. Now with the Chinky flu its 10 times worse and absolutely fucking depressing.

  16. Tesco this morning at 7.15. A staff member told me cunts were stripping the shelves but I still managed to get my few choice items,clearly too expensive for the locals. Anyway at the check out the number of turds with bog rolls was ludicrous. In saying that there were small orderly cues with no jumping. Up here at the local Stanley shop people always invite you to go first. No panic buying and plenty of goods . Seems the small local independent shops are more civilized than these big fuck off supermarkets.
    I’m sure Dick will back me up on this as he probably shops at the local farmers market.
    I’m shopping locally till this madness is over.
    Fuck Tesco, Sainsbury’s etc …. Big impersonal cunts.

    • Tesco are supposed to be limiting item maximums.

      Not sure it’s being policed though

      • Absolutely not Sick of it.
        My local Tesco are letting cunts through with multiple items . No questions asked. Its naked profiteering .

      • A friend of mine messaged me to say that he saw a family That looked like Mum, Dad, 2 teen boys, 1 teen girl get out of their car in Sainsbury’s car park and go in to the store. He later saw them individually with their own baskets/trolleys and happened to see two of them at separate checkouts. The other three were no doubt not far behind.

        Only one word for this lot. Cunts.

  17. Brill cunting.

    I was in a massive queue in New Look (clothes shop for sad cunts like me) many years ago. I finally got to the front and was waiting for a vacant pay point and some ethnic cunt was hovering at the other side of the checkout points and promptly pushed in as soon as a till was free. I went right off on one: ‘That’s right. You push in then!! We are all standing here in this queue for our health aren’t we, and none of you lot (meaning the staff) even tell her??’

    The cunt just ignored me and what is more, the fucking staff who were at the tills just looked at me blankly and didn’t do a fucking thing!!! Didn’t say a word to the bitch about the queue being over there…..nothing.

    This kind of thing is the height of arrogance and selfishness. What makes these cunts think that they are different to every other fucker having to queue, who may be in as big a rush as they apparently are? What makes them think they are exempt from waiting their turn? It is infuriating and the culprits are usually fucking ethnics or those of a foreign persuasion.

    You only have to take one look at the way these cunts behave in their own country – pushing, shoving, bat shit crazy, no decorum whatsoever and they have now brought that shit over here. Even in Spain, which I visit twice a year, it is the same. They don’t do queues….AT ALL. The fuckers just push and shove and it is survival of the fittest. I once got a plane from Gran Canaria to Madrid to get a connecting flight to Heathrow. The difference between that flight and direct UK ones was incredible. Mostly Spanish passengers of course, and just a lot of fucking pushing and shoving to get on the plane. No queue – they just all made a rush for it when the boarding call went up. It was truly pathetic.

    Fuckers.

    • I wonder, Nurse Cunty if this might be the difference that saves us true Brits from the virus?
      Unlike the Peacefuls and other denominations such as Italians, we Brits have a natural inclination not to ‘swarm.’ We like to keep our distance. The clip of those hordes going into that London supermarket, frankly, made me quite sick.
      At the very least it might mean we catch the virus in a more orderly manner!
      😂

  18. You know it’s funny because i was only in the supermarket the other day when they opened another till and i told the guy before me to go ahead , he was very thankful for it and he was a East European as well , damn i must be getting soft as i get older.

    • You could have added a caveat….. ‘and fuck off back to where you came from’ 😂

  19. I was reliably informed a couple of months ago by my GP that I’m an Alcoholic.
    I haven’t touched a drop since then.
    I have been told by HR that I have to self isolate for 14 days Because Mrs Fistula has all the symptoms of this bug thats going around. I have been fine until now.
    Day 3 and I would now kill for a drink. I would grab 2 bottles of Whisky and jump any queue . One bottle to drink and the other as a weapon to smash over the head of any cunt that tried to stop me.
    I suppose this is a kind of Rehabilitation.

  20. Airport baggage carousels…sigh…stand back we’d like to see too

    You fucking IGNORANT CUNTTSSSS

  21. “Oi! You! Back of the queue or I’ll nut your fucking face in”!
    This works for me, as does occasionally head butting people who cannot follow simple instructions. (Just wait for them to move towards you yapping, which constitutes “threatening behaviour” apparently, then go to town and hand out the pain, all covered legally).
    Bad Man I am! 😄
    Good nom Norman, I cannot stand people who do this!

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