Sjoerd Groeskamp

A shoe in for this week’s prize cunt goes to Sjoerd Groeskamp. “who the fuck is he?” I hear you say. Well, read on…

A Dutch scientist has proposed building two mega dams in the North Sea in an attempt to protect 25 million Europeans from rising sea levels.

Sjoerd Groeskamp, an oceanographer at the Royal Netherlands Institute for Sea Research, said a ‘possible solution’ to global warming’s rising effect on our oceans is to build a 300 mile dam between Scotland and Norway and an additional 100-mile barrier between France and England”

Apparently, it’s only going to cost between 250 – 500 billion and after all that’s only about 3 HS2s so an absolute bargain!

Think of all that free hydro energy that we can use to power all those electric cars.

And think of the benefits of a land bridge between the UK and Europe. Like no more immigrants dying on little rubber boats now they can just walk across.

Think of all the revenue we could raise by charging shops to use one of the busiest shipping lanes on the world. It might even be self funding.

And while we’re at it, why not drain the North Sea completely and use the land to build houses and grow food?

It’s a brilliant idea. Has anyone told Greta?

Yes, taking all of this into account, Sjoerd Groeskamp is a solid gold, grade A cunt…

Nominated by Dioclese

68 thoughts on “Sjoerd Groeskamp

    • I’m a scientist and I can tell you they are definitely not always right.
      What about fish stocks? It would create a closed off ecosystem similar to a lake.
      And what about the fact that the water outside the dams would build up so land to the west and south would become flooded with backed up water. Water tends to be higher on one side of a dam. If bad enough it would swamp south England and north west Scotland .
      Think he needs to go away for a lie down.
      Dutch cunt.

      • “If bad enough it would swamp south England and north west Scotland.”

        Bring it on I say.

      • Bertie please ,what about your southern brothers and sisters?
        However flooding londonistan might be beneficial.🤔

      • He might be a scientist but as a Dutchie he’s probably been smoking Amsterdam’s finest. Plus, he looks a bit rapey.

      • Mac -I would give a warning to certain ethnicities. I’m not saying who mind!
        Then I’d open the Thames Barrier and flush the remaining turds out to sea.
        The Scots? They can just fuck off with the exception of Mr Polly and others on this site who are nice people!

  1. Property prices right on the water in Venice are still fucking eye watering.
    Nobody’s worried there….

  2. The UK Border Force and coastguard will be out of work with no migrants to ferry over to the land of plenty.

  3. Why not built a sea wall around all the land and islands on earth. Perhaps 30 ft high? Got to be a winner.

  4. I would be surprised if the cost was anything like 500 billion, multiply that several times over, probably cheaper to raise the Netherlands by several feet.

    What a cunt, 15 minutes of fame!

    • Opening estimate €250 – €500 billion = €2 trillion final cost….

      PS: Sajid Javid has resigned.

      • What could possibly go wrong with an 80 majority?
        Boris is doing his best already to fuck things up.

      • oh FFS, not another round of resignations and childish petulance from these so-called “right honorable” cunts!

        We had loads of this shit during May’s watch, and same again when Boris took over. And now we have this shit all over again.

        I wonder if this Javid cunt will get his pension based on his very short term in office as Chancellor? I mean that would be taking the piss wouldn’t it: spend a few weeks in a top job, resign, but get an index-linked pension based on your last job!

      • Not much point being chancellor if you can’t appoint your own special advisors or have any say on economic policy.

        Never mind, Boris has appointed a nice yes man – Rishi Sunak.

      • Phew. I’m glad the person in charge of all our money is the correct ethnicity. It would be very 20th century to replace a wøg with a whitey after all.

      • Actually I’m quite pleased that there’s quite a lot of Indians in the tories, they hate muslims more than we do.

      • The real story here is that Javid was a Thatcherite economically, whereas Boris is very much a Blairite.

        When Javid departed, so did fiscal responsibility.

        Sunak will be little more than Johnson’s punkah-wallah.

  5. Talking about fucking up not only the environment but also the ecosystem!

    And who foots the £500bn bill? And will be responsible for maintenance?

    Perhaps this stupid Dutch Cap was watching “Escape from New York” from the other night and let his imagination run wild.

    I wonder what Little Jimmy Krankie would think of having not only a wall to the south of her, but a wall to the north. Just add one for the west and east, and put a roof on top and Scotland will be well and truly bagged!

    • I watch that again the other day as well.
      Wall off London and chuck all the cunts in.
      Sadiq Khan could be the Ernest Borgnine character, still driving his dad’s bus around the ruins… 😀

  6. Well I’m not a scientist but it makes more sense to detonate nuclear warheads in the sea to vaporise the excess seawater than build a fucking big wall.
    Wait,maybe I am a scientist and this Dutch bugger is a mega Cunt.
    Get fucked.

    • Cant do it uncle, basic scientific fact!
      The Godzilla principle.
      Im not signing off on a 150ft fire breathing lizard stomping around the uk!
      Cant do it.

  7. I think we should just tow the UK to somewhere where the water is a bit lower.

    C’mon UK…it’ll be like the evacuation of Dunkirk… hundreds of small boats,a few yachts and a fleet of pedalos…we haven’t lost that Bulldog spirit…plus it’ll show those Johnny Foreigner types that we meant it when we said we were leaving..just imagine the look on Merkel and Macron’s faces when HMS Perfidious- Albion steams off in the direction of calmer waters.

    Hope Boris reads my suggestion…it’s no more far-fetched than his vanity project bridge to Ireland….you’d think the Cunt would have learned his lesson after that Garden Bridge fiasco.

    Joanna Lumley is a coffin-dodging old trout.

    • Afternoon Dick.

      You might also have thought he would have learned his lesson from his other projects:

      London’s Crossrail – yet to open and £3 billion over budget.

      Bendy buses and water cannons.

      That spectacular cable car across the Thames – the world’s most expensive urban cable car which no-one uses.

      Boris Island airport.

      At least we can all agree that HS2 will be safe in Boris’s hands… 😂

      • Actually I tuned in to the Brillo Show to see him shred doolally Webecca Wrong-Daily and Qüeer Shitstabber as advertised, but they didn’t show up the fucking yella-bellies.

        Instead there was a yawn-a-minute chat with Andy Burnbum and some other dreary cunt.

      • The water canons were a waste of money, unlike other countries no one in power in the UK would ever have the balls to use them.

    • Dick – We could just drag it on top of Iceland. That would not only give us a few more feet in height but also increase the size of our fishing waters.

    • I’m all in favour of towing the Uk to somewhere warmer, with less rain and wonderful blue seas, sparkly beaches and plenty of rum none of that turd coloured water in the thames – maybe Gran Caneria way – wouldn’t take long if we all pitched in

      • Are you mad, with global warming northern Europe is going to become the tropics, the tropics deserts. God loves white people.

      • the arthritis is killing me – somewhere warm and doesn’t fuckin’ rain everyday would be nice – howzabout Goa then?

  8. And what’s more the rate of sea level rise is rock steady, can’t remember the exact figure but it’s tiny and is not accelerating at all. Once again YouTube ‘Tony Heller’ for the truth about so called ‘climate change’

    • What is the difference between visits and hits on a website?
      Hits – A single file request in the access log of a Web server. … Visitors / Visits – This is defined as a series of hits from any particular IP address. If any two hits are separated by 30 minutes or more, two visitors are counted. “Visitors” represent an extrapolated number.

    • We shouldn’t knock these Dutch scientists. There was one called Gerard ‘t Hooft who showed that the Yang-Mills theory was renormalizable. This made it a suitable theory of weak interactions which could unite some of the fundamental forces in nature. He knew what he was talking about. No-one else did.
      I’d say this idea is worth looking into. We could collect immigrants from Dover and thereabouts, bus them up to the north of Scotland and tell them to start walking. And they’d become Norway’s problem. Sounds like a plan. And if anyone could build it, it’s us Brits.

  9. Anyone with any sense will be trying to adapt to climate change rather than stop it. I live on a hill, fuck y’all lowlanders. The Netherlands need to colonise somewhere. We should have a joint effort to colonise Africa again and do it properly this time – kill the natives like we did in Australia and North America. The north African colonies will be the new wall against Ndoogos coming up from the south.

  10. This cunts been in the coffee shop in Amsterdam too long smoking some high grade…go fuck yourself.
    Also who foots the bill or most of it? That’s right us as the Bridges will both join into Britain.
    What a cunt.

    • Sturgeon will pay, cos Scotland will have been independent for 300 years by the time they start building it.

      • I was thinking something similar RTCP, give Scotland independence then approve this shite idea. Those watertight Scot’s wont want to pay it would they.

  11. I have the solution…eat more salt.
    It’s no coincidence that sea levels are rising and we are being told too eat less salt and also there less salt being sold in the shops.
    Think abaaaht it, you wait for sea water to evaporate and then your left with salt…the more salt eaten the more sea water is used.
    An added benefit is that salt is bad for old cunts so it’ll get rid of some of them as well.
    Win win…I am a genius.
    Go fuck yourselves.

  12. Can we can we not build a giant funnel and start shooting sea water into space with atomic blasts? I can play at science too.

  13. so let me micro manage this,
    1, a bunch of people who have tried to fuck us over are going to drown
    2, they want to glue our island to theirs
    I am tempted to think fuck off, it is a silly idea even if you pump it dry and use it for landfill.

  14. Dutch?..oh a drug addict.
    Nice set of choppers on him, sort you feed over a fence palm first a apple,
    These euro berks want our fish!!
    Thats what they want, findus and birdseye should have their own navy.

  15. Surely this is as great an idea as boris’s bridge across the irish sea to link ireland and scotland – brilliant – except that it won’t work – so fuck off cunt

    • The last thing we need is a bridge to fucking Ireland. We have enough trouble with the inter breeders caravan club as it is without making it easier for them to get here. The cunts.

  16. Of course this would work perfectly. I mean, the North Sea is such a calm body of water. No risk to the integrity of the structure at all then.

    I’ve a better idea, instead of concrete and steel why don’t we use illegals to build it with. Yes, they’d drown of course, but I can’t think of a down side to this idea.

  17. Build a big wall around London and put a dome on top of it. surely this will contain all the hot air coming out of it and save the planet, innit.

  18. The future will laugh at us for thinking we can hold the climate in stasis. Cycles and psychos are fundamental in nature.

  19. Not really worthy of a cunting….we should recognise his rights to smoke his own “home grown” whenever he chooses.

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