The House of Lords (2)

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This feudal pit of undeserved privilege needs to be reformed: filled with people who are not very good at what they do, but do not wish to be attended to in their dotage by teen Latvians, so they put on their dead animal badges of furry superiority and shuffle into a rich white Gods waiting room in a haze of Yardley perfume and piss, but no need to hang around long, thirty seconds of clutching a signing device in a withered old claw will guarantee an immediate payment of up to £500 (I kid you not) per day, then away for lunch old boy, in the subsidised restaurants and bars, then put the expenses claim in for the food and grog.

800 utter fucking parasites! Can’t get a job as lollipop lady or Man with a criminal record, but if you have form for fraud, theft, perjury or sex offences, the red leather is that way M’Lord!

Clean out this nest of self-serving, democracy-hating, piss-stinking rats and replace the House of Lords with a new chamber where 300 members of the public chosen without bias or favouritism from a wide cross section of society are given five Year contracts to debate and scrutinise Parliamentary business and legislation.

Can’t be arsed turning up, but still want paying? Fuck off.
Want to fall asleep at work? Fuck off.
Convicted criminal? Fuck off.
Using political allegiance to promote agendas? Fuck off.
Pervert? Fuck off.

Monday to Friday, nine to five, an hour for dinner, a salary of £52,000 PA and four weeks holiday a Year like we get.

Don’t like that? Fuck off.

And not to mention the tidy saving achieved by removing 500 irrelevancies who cost us – get this – two hundred and fifty Million a Year to keep them in brandy and adult nappies! This saving will of course be welcomed by a Government “Committed to savings in the public sector”.

House of Lords? Cunts.

That is all.

Nominated by Vernon Fox

101 thoughts on “The House of Lords (2)”

  1. Excellent cunting Vernon. I’m just a little worried as to who is going to choose this new chamber.

    • It should be an elected chamber, Bertie.
      Then no one can get their cronies in, with a nod and a wink.
      Good afternoon.

      • It should Jack. It’s just that Vernon said ‘chosen’ so I wasn’t sure he meant elected.
        I think he’s brokered a deal with his wider family members!
        😀

      • Not guilty BBTC 😄 – my wider Family are f*cking scary people and I stay away from them!
        When I said chosen I meant just that, electing Lords is just perpetuating the problem because “who elects them”? Their f*cking rat cronies. NO!
        Blind selection – any candidates fulfilling the chosen criteria are entered into a blind entry system, no names, no bias, no agenda except the agenda of holding Parliament to account, and the chosen criteria will be a set of commonplace rules, any attempts at rigging or calling in favours will mean non entry, permanently.
        We need them to be by the people, of the people and for the people, what we have now are by themselves, of themselves and for themselves – we need people who represent the Country not the Country Club.
        Why should the poor, Northerners, people without a private education, not from London, not WOKE Snowflake Marxists etc not have a say?
        Our Country belongs to all of us, not just the privileged few – and loony leftism will be “discouraged”, shall we say.
        Treating a disease is hard, but for the sake of all our futures we need to do it.

      • ‘and shuffle into a rich white Gods waiting room in a haze of Yardley perfume and piss’

        Great line Vernon😂😂 and a great nom👍

  2. This monument to greed and bladder weakness should have been swept away years ago .
    They have no electoral mandate, yet still strive to derail Britain’s withdrawal from the EU.
    The fucking Cunts.
    A highly commendable Cunting Mr. Fox.
    Good afternoon.

    • Parasites is right, when the grabbing bastards are awake they tie things up, delay things, just a waste of money on entitled workshy ponces.
      Get rid.

      • Let’s send the fuckers to York in the northern section. The Yorkshirists could then take revenge for the “harrowing of the north”. It’s a win, win.

      • The Harrowing of the North is a truly brutal eye opening piece of history and a very real lesson on how the rich and privileged truly regard the poor – and has never stopped.

        The North resisted, the South (predominantly) collaborated for status and power, and we got Regally (no pun intended) fucked.

      • Get over yourself.The award winning journalist Tommy Robinson comes from Luton. No he is not Irish unless I’m Scotch which I ain’t.

    • Thanks JTC! My late (and sooo flamboyant, daahling) Nephew used to work for a very well known Labour Politician, now Lord, who we shall just call “Fat John”, I used to be astonished at what these fuckers can, and always do claim for – and the average of actual meaningful “work” done by said Politician equated to a grand total of around four hours a week, thus giving plenty of time to spend looking for “cars with not tigers” on the bonnet.

  3. Nice hatchet job on these unelected placemen/women Vernon.
    Why for example are there STILL 26 fucking BISHOPS (not counting those who sit by right of a peerage) in the House of Incontinence?
    And let’s not even think about all-purpose cunts like Chukabutty and Greaves.
    Lord Bercow of EU anyone? The cunt will weasel his way in somehow, I’m convinced of it. Lady Swinson of Swine? The Limp Dicks are pushing for it.
    Roll up, roll up for the House of Cunts.

      • Only people in the reformed upper house whose first loyalty is to Country, not “religion” – I believe that will address the infestation of our peaceful friends, and whatever “Sharon law” (think that’s what it’s called..) is it can fuck off back to the Third World where it belongs!

        Mean, but necessary – the first part of War is clear identification of the enemy.

  4. Excellent cunting Vernon,

    Just get rid of the useless and unnecessary unelected piss stinking old fuckwits and spend the £100m on something worthwhile.

  5. Agree wholeheartedly. Our solution is to select the 300 via PR on the LOSERS in every General Election – no additional polls required. Simple – they’d be in the HOL for 5 years -same as the MP’s. And No Money unless they actually attend.

    • Wouldn’t that mean that you immediately have a HOL that is diametrically opposite to the Government? Or have I misunderstood this? How do you define ‘losers’?

    • Most of the interns who I paid to get my leg over fell asleep while I they were hard at it… Never understood why, though Pauline was just the same in her youth (and mine)

      Fucking fish heads

  7. Baroness Shami Chuckyourbutty is a convincing argument for the reform of the upper chamber. I rest my case.

    • Baroness Shami Chuckyourbutty would look good in, and is deserving of, a ‘columbian necktie’
      I rest my case

  8. Entertaining cunting venon ……

    I don’t think you’ll find any dissenting voices on these pages in defence of retirement home for some of the biggest cunts in uk politics…
    Johnson muted at pulling the plug on this fucking cesspit of pomposity , once he’s done with extricating the UK from the clutches of the EU let’s hope he takes decisive action not only against these despicable wankers but the other cunty liberal thorn in Britain’s side the BBC
    Two antiquated out of touch establishments that wouldn’t be missed by the vast majority , with the added bonus of a huge saving to public finances ……

  9. These fossils remind me of flakey teenagers. Unable to do anything of value, unable to accurately say the price of a loaf of bread, unable to change a lightbulb, unable to re-wire a plug, unable to use a hammer or screwdriver, unable to make a pasta, unable to tell a joke, unable to take a joke, unable to talk clearly to another human being. Absolutely without use unless it’s patronizing others, knowledge of horses or confusing the year with one in the 17th century.

    Hoo-eee, what a House of Cunts.

    • Please, please, please give me a chance to show some of the fuckers how to use a hammer. I wouldn’t even charge a fee.

      • Teaching clueless old c*nt Lords DIY? Excellent plan!

        And now M’lud, here’s Marcin the National Minimum Wage (I refuse on principle to call it a living wage) Cr*pita employee on a zero hours contract to teach you how to wire a plug..

      • I reckon half of ’em can’t even wipe their own arse. They love all that cheap Euro labour.

      • Lords don’t need to wipe their own arses – they have a cheap and very helpful lady called Crystina to help them – gawd bless Poland guv’nor!

    • Off Topic
      Just read about Jim Hewitson a lollypop man at a school crossing in Scotland, a ex farmer hes been doing the job over 20yrs, and ‘high fives’ the kids.
      A single complaint sent the school into panic mode, told him he could be sacked, and sent out letters to parents stating this should stop.
      The parents came out to the defense of lolly Jim, to their credit,
      All for one trouble causing cunt, who would fit right in a at Sheffield young nazi University.
      What a world.

  11. A very well written cunting! May I suggest that you fire a copy straight to the number 10 email inbox for immediate consideration? One way or another this decrepit bunch of stinking parasites needs to be abolished or, at the very least, totally reformed!

    Only problem I can see is how would we choose a new group that represents today’s Britain? Once we’d included the obligatory quotas for trannies, pooftas, gender fluids, non-binaries, machete wielding peacefuls, SJWs, ADHD sufferers and climate alarmists the place would be full. “No room on the benches for any white, heterosexual working class men or women here – get back up north you regressive scum!!”

    Utter Cunts!

    • I bless the offices of the Prime Minister with my emailed “wisdom” on regular occasion, I am sure Boris pores over them at length!

  12. The House of Lords is like that other Great British Anachronism…the British Royal Family.Both stuffed with greedy,out-of-touch,self-entitled inbreds,half-wits,criminals and sexual debauchees.

    Off with their heads…and then Fuck them.

    • Off with their heads? Nooo – they do so much work for chiridee, Meghan on her own contributes almost a Million a Year to the charity of British Airways, Louis Vuitton, Be Beers, Krug, Cristal etc, etc, etc – such good value!
      And if I want to travel to Canada to hide in bushes to photograph self serving chisellers I will! (Allegedly).

  13. People have been on about ‘reform of the Lords’ for decades. Always a left wing cry but then of course in the end they go in there. I am thinking of Prescott, Kinnock. But politicians from all parties go there as we know. It swallows all. I think I like that. I like the ritual, the ceremony, the archaic ways. l’m not so bothered about the cost of it. I sure it costs non more thanmany government departments. I actually prefer coverage of the Lords to the Commons. You get some good speeches especially from the Heredities who have sadly nearly all gone now. It’s just a quaint British institution. An anomaly yes compared with other European Parliaments but do their ‘second chambers’ scrutinize legislation as well as it? It has evolved from our shared history. I don’t think there’s a real clamour for its abolition from the people. In England we spend too much time talking about why a certain institution exists rather than focus on improving what it does. It has developed over time as I say, it has stood the test of time. Let’s cherish it as an integral part of the rich fabric of British political life.

      • It’s often difficult to tell if Miles is taking the piss! Keep us guessing Miles!

      • Bit flowery at the end Bertie but essentially believe it. I like Tradition I like ritual.
        That’s not to say there aren’t any cunts in there, there are loads of them. Just the institution itself is not cuntish IMO.

      • Plus don’t you get sick of the endless debate about it? As soon as Long Bailey entered the leadership race its was abolition (maybe reform) of the HofL. Oh give us a break As if the labour party hadn’t more pressing policy areas to look into after its historic defeat than the role of the HofL. And what would you put in it’s place the argument has been gone through a thousand thousand times – namely if it’s elected it rivals the Commons and if appointed Cronyism. Just stick with what we’ve got.

      • What I find unusual Miles is that Sir Nigel’s new crusade was supposed to be all about the abolition of the Lords but we’ve still yet to hear about it.

  14. I don’t see the need for a second chamber, the electorate hold the government to account every 4/5 years.

    Having an elected chamber makes no sense, it would be like local elections, no fucker bothers to turn out to vote!

  15. Those who want the House of Lords abolished, have, obviously, never masturbated whilst wearing ermine gloves.

  16. I am a royalist with progressive ideas, I would like state funding of the royals to be reduced to the likely to succeed ones (I would also like Harry to be DNA tested and his father fund his life style).
    The House of lords is without doubt a festering pit,where I have worked we have yearly assessments, a very simple paper exercise of what have you done this year and surprise surprise the wheat is separated from the chaff.
    A simple age cap in line with retirement and a yearly assessment in line with normal employment laws would sort it out

    • Competence tests for Politicians? We will have none left!

      Now Diane, just the formality of this basic arithmetic test..

      She is in the house of commons, I worry more about the ones who elected her than the woman herself

  18. The Lords exists to prop up the Royals, the Establishment, Whitehall and London. It is a gravy train which politicians wont let go of.

  19. If you think about the purpose of the Lords, I mean what it is they are supposed to do…. then I’m sure there is a better and cheaper way of doing whatever it is, and without an unecessary title.
    If scrutiny is necessary, it means that the cunts in the lower House can’t fucking spell or can’t do sums, and they need some twat to proof read and correct their spelling.
    Perhaps spell check, and the issue of a calculator to MP’s might just solve the problem of a secongd House.
    Anyway, what we have are a bunch of fucking cunts who certainly need pushed off the end of some fuckers pier.!

  20. And so it was the Cunt B Liar that introduced the House of Lords Act 1999 that abolished the rights of Heredity Peers to sit in the House.

    You don’t have to be a genius to figure this one out.

    I don’t know the figures but I’d put my mortgage on most heredity peers being of a conservation persuasion.

    So the Cunt and his disciples sell this one on the basis that why should anyone have the right to create laws simply because there Gt Gt Gt Gt Grandad was a Lord?

    Ok I get that but really the bastard shit cunt from hell simply wanted to switch the balance of power and fuck me did they do that.

    And as a result we have a second chamber that’s completely irrelevant. Stuffed to the gunnels with over promoted ass lickers, terminally stupid no marks who’s only success is failure.

    20 years on this archaic institution has rendered itself ready for massive reform if not abolition.

    Cunts

  21. at this point I would like to state that I do not sit in the house of lords, my name sake is a piss take of a crossroads character and a hat I once wore.
    The state (you the tax payer) once trusted me with about 1 million pounds of hardware and your defense, I didn’t break it and you are all still alive so it was a win win scenario.
    may I please have the £500 a day salary my car is “dubious” and my surroundings are not in keeping with my title.

  22. Wheres Cuntan? Hes the resident film critic on ISAC, my mates dropped off ‘1917’ ‘Midway’ an new Rambo film.
    Cant be arsed googling them, any good?

    • Sorry MNC, only just seen this!! Was having an off day yesterday, didn’t feel much up to cunting. Only seen new Rambo so can’t comment on others, Midway to me looks shite though (not least cos its directed by Roland Emmerich who is about as subtle as a Bic up the urethra), Rambo is ok…. VERY violent but a bit daft. Wins points though cos it really pissed off the woke mob – racist towards the meheecans!! 👍

  23. I’ll just give you five names:

    Lord Prescott
    Lord Sugar
    Lord Kinnock
    Baroness Shameless Checkmebankaccount
    Baroness Karren Cocksucker Brady

    Burn it down. NOW!

  24. Hello MNC, I watched 1917 at the week end, it was quite good, not outstanding but worth a watch.
    Whenever I see something like that I always think that we’re living like Kings, when you consider what those poor buggers went through.
    Humbling.

    • Hiya Jack, yeah, different breed wasnt they? Truly brave men an in some cases boys.
      Lot of my work is in old cotton mills, now various small businesses or flats,
      And in most of them are commemorative brass plaques of the fallen, sometimes name brothers who died, some very young barely old enough to shave, always makes me sombre but always read them.
      True heroes.

  25. Read an article that stated PM Boris is considering moving the House of Lords to the north of England, the reason according to the writer was to thank the northern people for their help in electing a conservative government. Shit having that pack of wankers dumped on them, that ain’t my idea of thanks. I would suggest moving them to the North Pole but I suppose all that hot air and piss would really have an effect on the climate; give Greta something more to whine about, can’t fucking win.

  26. No think its a ‘punishment’ move for the old bastards!
    Miles away from the ivy for dindins, have to settle for queuing in chippy,
    No rent boys, have to go cruising with the paki grooming gangs that dont exist to get their portion of underage action.
    No hanging out in mayfair wi their boyfriends!
    Bring your big coat m’lord it rains a lot up here, be snow soon!😀👍
    Oh ducky darlings your not swanning round like Quentin here!
    Might not like it?

    • They should move it to Inverness, the UKs most northerly city. It’ll take the cunts 3 hours to get to Edinburgh let alone London, and it’ll bind the Union closer.

  27. Cut the (fixed, maximum) number to 300. Vacancies created by declaration of incompetence by independent arbitration panel meeting annually, also by death, illness or criminal conviction (Bye, Archer and others). Replacement on basis of aptitude test. No faded politicians or ex-CEO’s with a penchant for lobbying. Strict rules of debate (Miles has a point there: the Lords manages its debates much better), zero hours contracts, hourly rates for presence in the chamber. No Party affiliations, ideally, and to kick off the new regime keep crossbenchers , non-Party nominees, bishops* and law lords** while ejecting the yesmen who greased their way in there by being useless in the Commons or losing their Commons seats. No Party whips for the residue. For a start. Oh, and it’s a privilege, not a fucking sinecure. Annual assessments, just like everyone else.

    *supporting the state religion.
    **Unfortunately necessary to scrutinise legislation.

  28. Halle-fucking-looja! Three and a half years after we voted to leave the evil empire, it’s finally passed through Parliament. Despite everything the unelected noble pricks did to scupper the Withdrawal Bill the Commons has given the House of Lords a great big resounding “Fuck you”

    Democracy finally looks like it may be restored after all.

    Now Boris needs to abolish the fuckers. I suggest a 100 seat senate with half of the seats re-elected every two years…

    • And QE II has rubberstamped it. So that’s all right then. Now for the seriously boring shit.

  30. If there is going to be a second chamber then it should be elected else don’t have one at all. Either works for me.

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