The British Medical Journal

The BMJ and stating the bleeding obvious. From some wide ranging research:-

‘Women can gain ten and men seven years of life free of cancer, heart problems and Type-2 diabetes from a healthy lifestyle, a study in the BMJ suggests.

They must exercise regularly, drink in moderation only, have a healthy weight, good diet and not smoke’

Well fuck me sideways, whodathunkit?

I assumed fifty tabs and a gallon of super strength cider a day, watching Jeremy Kyle surrounded by fast food was the secret to a long and healthy life. Thank heavens this extensive, and expensive research programme has put me right.

Just taking my bear out for a crap. Now, where shall we go?

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

30 thoughts on “The British Medical Journal

  1. Like academia and most academic journals, organs like the BMJ have to publish something to appear relevant and cutting edge. 8 times out of 10 what they publish is either the bleeding obvious or gobbledygook.

    A few years back some academics concocted a joke piece of nonsense full of right on libtard phrases as an expirement. It was designed to be meaningless nonsense and, guess what, half a dozen or so “ respectable” social science journals published it as a serious piece and lauded it for its “ insights”.

    Gormless cunts.

    • Medical advice that states the obvious and patronises is de rigueur nowadays.
      Must be for millenials, warning labels stating ‘warning Sharp’ on scalpels and ‘danger Hot’ on furnaces.
      Off Topic
      The campaign against our friend
      Larry Fox has started with Lily the mong wading into the fight,
      She stated ‘he knows nothing about real life shes sick of luvvies saying stuff while safe on their gated communities.
      Say what you like about Lily
      But shes impervious to irony or hypocrisy.

      • She’s as thick as pigshit that girl. I think Fox knows more about real life than some privileged idiot like her with an actor for a father, another actor and comedian for a step father and no doubt raised somewhere like Islington. I think she’s the most stupid, ignorant cunt in the country…..and that’s saying something.

      • I like Laurence Fox. He wrote a retort to Lily the Mong, quoting a South Park episode called Stunning and Brave, which was about PC speak.

        Laurence should be an honorary ISAC member alongside Roger Daltrey and Michael Caine.

      • And let’s add Dr David Starkey as well. Some of his YouTube rants against Remoaners are brilliant, eloquent cuntings……without using the word “ cunt”.

      • Heroes one and all. Met Rog once, seemed a lovely bloke. Can’t give South Park enough credit for continuing to call out the woke shit, nowhere near as funny as it used to be but spot-on with the social commentary. I’m starting to “like” this Laurence Fox – fuck, I’m not becoming a shirtlifter am I????

      • I normally favour the fur-trimmed animal skin and broadsword look, maybe a jaunty helmet with horns if I’m in the mood; may end up swapping for some rainbow print hotpants and a pink glittery feather boa, perhaps a nice Marlon Brando leather cap

      • Her statement about Fox was an absolute gem. Her utter lack of self-awareness is completely remarkable.

  2. I lost confidence in these healthy living articles with the “five a day” debacle. Everything is part of your 5 a day – but does this mean that 5 cherries are equal to 5 grapefruit?. It’s just a silly meaningless expression. The best thing in my opinion is to eat and drink whatever you like in moderation, and enjoy it. Talking of enjoyment I am sure you will want to be reminded that Dominic Grieve, the Titan of Rhythm, will be continuing his residency at the Rose & Crown today, and in addition to his electric organ he will be joined by his special guests David Lammy and Diane Abbott, Dave with his conga drums and Diane with her bongos and maraccas. Be warned though – as Dom sways rhythmically behind his organ and de riddim kicks in, Diane might let herself go, take her bra off and shake it about a bit.

    • In further news, and I kid you not, Comrade Corbyn has nominated Tory ex-speaker John Bercow for that peerage he missed out on earlier this month, no doubt for services to the Labour Party and Remain.

      Can only be a matter of time now before Boris makes Corbyn a peer for services to the Conservative Party.

      • I heard that about Bercow – he also wants one for the nonce finder general Tom Watson, who improbably has set himself up as a gym instructor

      • That will go well with his Order ‘For Merit to the Fatherland’ – 1st Class honour from Putin, the 25% discount on balaclavas from the IRA and honorary degree from the University of Tehran.

      • Bercow is now reduced to being a useless clown, which he’s always been but now without a circus to perform in, shouting “order” on Italian tv.

      • He’ll end up doing advertising,
        Sofas from DFS ‘ORDER now! Get it for Christmas”…
        Hope he finds a lump in his ballbag the cunt.

      • Excellent! “Order, Order, it for Christmas – a calendar of the Wife, racy stuff, check out what she is doing to that gippo in the March picture! (And every other picture!)

        “Please Order, Order two copies, we need the money after someone called “Paddy” said they were going to fix the roof but accidentally left with the Range Rover,the Wife and all the contents of my house, the Wife returned eventually (forgot my credit card she did) but she is walking like John Wayne, is covered with tattoos and orange makeup, is addicted to fried cabbage and bacon, chain smokes rolling cigarettes, drinks 18 cans of Stella a day and keeps trying to tarmac the drive – and we have been told by the Police that reporting the “misunderstanding” constitutes a waaycist h*te cwime”!

  3. Any “medical” journal that thinks it’s ok to chop kids genitals off and give them the same chemical castration used on paedophiles because they think they’ve been born into the wrong body isn’t worth bothering with.

    No totaly different system, was going to bin it, but I thought I would show you up.
    Research your comments please.

  4. Thanks for sorting my life out for me Mr.Science.
    Fuck me without your wisdom I should have died in 1992.
    Tremendous.

    • I want to know if my lifestyle of eating n*vichok infused blue asbestos whilst playing defuse the gr*nade with a hammer is healthy – where’s a person to tell me what to do by writing a helpful “papery wordy thing”?

    • Presumably they didn’t capture him earlier due to him being fleet of foot and blending easily into the crowd.

  5. ‘Women can gain ten and men seven years of life free of cancer, heart problems and Type-2 diabetes from a healthy lifestyle’. How the fuck do they come up absurd bollocks like that? Based on their ‘logic’, women must be currently having a more unhealthy lifestyle than men. Absolute load of wank and anyway, fucking cancer can strike anyone at anytime regardless if they live their lives like a fucking monk.

  6. Thank Heavens to Murgatroyd for the BMJ and their grasp of the bleeding obvious.

    Are these people also behind the health & safety warnings we seem to be bombarded with these days ?

    Microwave oven – “under no circumstances place live animals in this appliance”

    Wooden 10″ meat skewers – “caution – do not swallow”

    etc,etc.

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