Phillip Schofield (3)

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Phillip Schofield – this bland cunt nominates himself. Aka cunt’s cunt. Famous for being a cunt for a loong time. Has a face that needs landscape gardening with a baseball bat.

He merits this nomination purely by virtue of his oh-so-annoying voice.

Nominated by Jeff

I happily second Jeff’s nomination: he is a poofy, effected wanker who enjoys being one of the girls…

Obsessed with fashion (no doubt handbags and frilly knickers as well), girly chit-chat, soaps, you name it – camp, limp-wristed and suggestive and no doubt one of the biggest arsehole crawlers on ITV – he seems to brown-nose his way into every ITV “project” that gets commissioned.

He started out in childrens TV and in his second childhood he is back there, patronising in his fey voice with a shit-eating grin on his face, or a queenly pout.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

48 thoughts on “Phillip Schofield (3)”

  1. I don’t watch chav-o-vision channels, so don’t see his morning show. I think Piers Morgan would be more my line if I had time to watch breakfast programs. As a result, I fostered no real opinion on Schofield until I saw one of the Webuyanycar adverts with the kitten. Yep, he’s a cunt.

    And I see he’s married. Hmmm?

    • I suspect old Phil has a “lord Adonis” type marriage (or a Mr. Jess Phillips).

      Good to see we are still cunting on December 25th – fuck the season of goodwill, while Schofield and his ilk are stealing oxygen there is a great need for ISAC.

      Don’t forget if you are in the Beaconsfield area today, toddle off to the Rose and Crown where Dominic Grieve will be plugging in his organ and continuing his residency. Special guests today Anna Soubry with a festive song or two and Hilary Benn will be joining in on the spoons. Free admission (but £25 to get out)

    • Love the clip, Spoons. They live in the belief that worldly riches arrive by magic. Of course they do – they’re Scottish!

      • Husband “Fancy a deep fried mars bar?”

        Wife: “Och no! It’s christmas!”

        Husband: “Fair enough. How about a deep fried christmas pudding?”

        Wife: “AYE!!!” 😀

    • Happy Winterval Spoons! Blimey what was that, Christmas as imagined by David Lynch??

    • Smile 🎄🎁🎅 Merry Christmas to you all 🎅🎁🎄

      & yes Phil ‘my face in with your fist’ Schofield is a 10 to the power of 9 Cunt. More annoying than a whinney labour grandpa after a whipping.
      Hopefully he’ll choke on his Xmas pudding & give us all a Xmas present, the Wanker.

  3. Merry Christmas Spoons!

    Woke up to find the batmobile under the Christmas tree?😊
    Me & the dog are the only ones awake in the house an we are discussing how much turkey we are having,
    Ill probably buy some extra off the dog wi some pigs in blankets,
    But its a tough negotiator.🌲

  4. He shared a closet with Gordon the Gopher for a few years apparently….Gordon is still in therapy from having “Scowf’s” hand shoved up his rectum but Philip still stays happily in the closet.

    Holly Willoughby can Fuck Off too…I sent her a National Express coach ticket so that she could come and visit me, along with an offer to stuff her like a Christmas turkey and massage her wapps using only my cock….rude tart never even replied….the manners of the young today…fucking disgraceful.

    • Seasons Greetings Mr F , I indeed too send the said wench a litter , just said hi Holly wanna get stuffed with this (cock pic) very unreasonable of her not to reply. Ungrateful cunt cost me a stamp

      • A rude trollop. Harry.
        Typical Southerner..at least a proper Northern lass would have taken the trouble to track us down,drive out to our houses and kick us in the nuts all the while screaming the foulest obscenities.
        Have a good day,Harry.

      • Morning Fiddler, are you still hoping Gemma Arterton will be delivered in a packing crate in time for festive games at The Towers?

      • Quite the reverse.LL. I have cunningly hidden myself under her dining table after cutting a large circular hole in it. I then shoved my “meat and two veg.” up through the hole with my ball-sack pulled up over my cock to make it resemble a massive oven-ready turkey…Gemma is currently rubbing half a pound of butter into my meaty “drumsticks”…I should probably speak up and tell her not to bother..the monstrous bird will become self-basting in a stroke or two’s time.

    • Schofield is a cunts cunt!!
      If your looking for vacuous inane banter with lashings of fake Bon ami there’s no finer proponent than this saccharine coated 24 carat cunt
      It’s a sad reflection on a dearth of talent that such a tiresome truly one dimensional cunt can go so far…..

      Merry Xmas to all fellow cunters
      And big thank you to the admin team for all hard work keeping this site going , as WS said yesterday the last 3 years have been absolute torture for leavers , this site offers a great place to vent !!

    • There is no comparison between Noel Edmonds and Schofield. Phil the puppet fister is right up there with the biggest cunts to walk these isles. The ‘we buy any car’ adverts show what a cunt he is, that greed drives you to do anything. In one radio ad he says he is sculpting a flamingo mid flight in topiary. Well Phil, firstly I can hear you are using a chainsaw not clippers, so you don’t fool me. Secondly I wish I was there with you, to cut you up into six pieces, bag you up and scatter your parts to the farthest parts of this land.

  6. I bet he’s taken diabolical liberties with Holly’s tits.

    I’m surprised that his career has blossomed, since the brains of the operation split with him.
    I wonder what happened to Gordon ?
    Good morning.

      • Most jiggly set of tits that I’ve seen since watching Albert, a 50 stone black man, trying to get out of bed on ” My 600lb life” the other night

      • Was watching star trek earlier today and those 70’s tits hit you differently, these were the pre silicone days

        We are spoiled rotten with the tits of today I enjoy the Joi ones on pornhub and they are popped out in slow motion,always good for a wank. xvideos is a good site too Boggs

      • Yeah the orion slave girls had nice knockers spooninton, green skin isn’t exactly my favourite colour but tits are tits and I could go for some green ones sam I am green tits and ham

        That black bird had nice tits in one episode they were protruding right through her shirt, gave me the horn right away, can’t beat classic star trek imo

  7. Schofield may well be a cunt but he’ll have to wait.

    I’m off outdoors to roll around on the ground in the pissing rain, to replace the exhaust on my car – or I’ve got no transport and it’s my Sister’s fucking birthday, today.

    Xmas can fuck right off.

  8. Merry Cuntmas everybody hope all is well and you can all get drunk as fuck if it isn’t Cheers

  9. There is simply something about Schofield that shits on my deep fried root vegetables. The nancy voice, over-preened hair and supercilious manner makes me want to give him some cosmetic improvements courtesy of an oxy-acetalyne torch.

    A great cunting for Christmas Day.

    Piss of Schofield, for you are a undeniably massive cunt.

  10. In the interests of fairness, we should point out that there is no evidence whatsoever that he is gay or ever sexually interfered with anyone.
    Careful guys. Bordering on slander here.

    • I don’t really know him as I don’t watch his the type of programme that he’s in but he strikes me as a nice, innocuous bloke.

      Have a great Christmas all, and to those that are determined they won’t ‘Hah, bumhug’.

    • I find old Phil too bland to be of any offence. Thanks Admin and Happy Christmas; sorry that yours is at least in part being spent keeping us toerags in line! 🎅

  11. It would be an even bet who has taken it up the arse more often, Holly or this blander than John Major cunt, Schofield.

  12. I hope his Christmas tree catches fire and falls over on him.
    What a fucking Pansy.
    Merry cunting Christmas!

  13. Happy Christmas fellow-cunters and thanks for the thousands of hilarious comments, jokes and smartass one liners this year.

    Thanks in particular to the Admin cunts for keeping the show on the road and providing a place for us to share opinions with like minded cunts.

    Never really understood Philip Schofield. Always far preferred Philip Prince who I’m pretty sure is a member of ISAC and is therefore by definition a top bloke!

  14. Fair play to the cunt fir getting the gig doing the wine reviews for Waitrose. He must get through a gallon of top notch plonk on a daily basis! Write up some nonsense about it; get it all for free; and likely get paid a tidy packet for the pleasure too.
    Gis a job. I could do that.
    Hats off to the cunt.

  15. Sad to see there’s no mention that the cunt thinks he’s fucking Roger Cook (cuck surely). Utter pretend serious journalist wannabe kids TV presenter like when he confronted Davey Cameron with a fake list of kiddy fiddlers.

  17. Merry Christmas fellow cunters, thanks for the laughs I’ve had this year. I look on this August site as an oasis of sanity, in a desert of insanity.

    Here’s to an awesome cunting 2020, you know who they are, go get them.

    Ps I would’nt mind a go on Holly willoughby, what do you reckon on my chances?

  18. If it comes to light that he has been giving Holly Willoughby a length for years I will happily vote against this nomination. Until such a time, old Phil is indeed a cunt.

  19. Phillip Schofield has, I’m afraid to say, like may TV people, turned into a fucking annoyance as he is on every bloody programme these days. TV bigwigs always do this with people who the public seem to find likeable. Trouble is, they then become very unlikeable when they turn up on every fucking thing you switch on to.

    He even turns up in adverts too these days. There is one where he is fondling a pussy for ‘Webuyanycar.com’ (no, not Holly Willoughby’s……the animal variety, you filthy minded cunters)

    Isn’t he making enough bloody money?? Greedy cunt.

    He was very funny when he was on ‘This Morning’ with Fern Britton, but I am sensing a pattern here as he supposedly fell out with her too, as reportedly he has recently with Willoughbooby.

    I am sensing a pattern here……

  20. Fucking itv if it wasn’t for them we wouldn’t have this tit, and Uber cunts ant and ought to be decked foist upon us.

  21. He is a cunt based solely on he never stares at Holly Willoughby’s Big Arse, she would have to take a restraining order out on me if I worked with her.!

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