Early Christmas Decorations

People that put their Christmas decorations up 6 weeks before Christmas.

I feel these monumental bell-ends need a gargantuan cunting!

If it’s not bad enough that all the tit-squeezing retailers get their festive tat in store in fucking September, or you’re having to listen to Xmas ditties played across their tannoys from the 1st of November (I swear if I hear John Lennon sing “So this is Christmas…..” that early again in ASDA I’ll scream at the top of my lungs “NO ITS NOT, ITS NOT EVER FUCKING FIREWORKS NIGHT YET!”) then you have to contend with the seemingly competitive field of attempting to become the most annoying retard on social media by getting your Crimbo decorations up before everyone else. What is wrong with these pricks? I like Christmas as much as most people, but these twats are just the epitome of the type of attention seeking cockwombles I despise for reminding me that I am in no way, shape or form prepared for the oncoming onslaught of bankrupting consumerist madness that is the festive season!

Let’s get to Boxing Day so we can all buy an Easter Egg! CUNTS!

Nominated by SecretCuntBag

183 thoughts on “Early Christmas Decorations

  1. McDonnell looks like he’s given up already. Blaming it on Brexit obviously. Well, if that’s true then that’s your fault for backing the Fourth Reich you cunt.

  2. Bloody hell 86! I know it’s only the exit poll but if true then I need to get my popcorn ready.

    • Exit Poll forecasts Tory majority of 86… EU overjoyed… Surrender Treaty now a slam dunk.

      Labour obliterated, McDonnell in denial. SNP projected to win 55 out of 59 seats in Scotchland. Swinson likely to lose her seat. 👍

      • Hilarious pictures doing the rounds of Hugh Grant shedding a tear when the exit poll figures were released!! 😂

    • Bit of a mixed sentiment for me. Catweasel looks fucked, and The Grauniad and Indie will be weeping buckets. Owen Jones will be in the mood to top himself.
      BUT;
      Those cunts in the SNP look set for a 50 seat haul. Don’t know how many votes The Brexit Party will pick up, but I’d guess it will be at least as many as the Nats, and they’ll end up with fuck all. What a fucking joke of a system. When will we ever get a system to allow people to vote for who they want, rather than against someone that they don’t?
      Democracy, my arse.

      • I just wanted to see a big fuck you to the Remoan alliance and it seems like that has happened.

      • I’ll drink to that. Mind you, I hope that somebody’s got an eye on those dodgy Stanley practises re. postal voting and polling booth ‘assistance’. Bent fuckers.

  3. I’m hoping for some of the irritating cunts to lose their seats. Perhaps I’ll even put some bunting up.(not likely).

  4. Who do I hate most? Those soppy wankers who try their hardest to be the first seat to declare. Running around carrying boxes of votes, like a bunch of try-hard nerdy school kids. Twats.
    Looks like being a good night’s telly, although I think my Monster Raving Loony Party vote may have been wasted.

      • Wow, labours getting battered!😀
        Exit poll on sky -con 368
        Marxists-191
        Dummies-13
        Flatcap nige-0
        Haggis nazis-55
        Hippies-1

      • Go have a read of the comments on the Grauniad mate, fucking hilarious!!! Apparently all the old racist pensioners have robbed the kiddies of their glorious communist future under Comrade Jez…. funny that, I thought they said they’d all be dead by the next election?

      • I’m actually considering putting up Xmas decorations now.

        Might even drag Lady Creampuff’s fibre optic tree down from the loft…

  5. What’s really significant is the swing from Labour to Tories even in remain areas.
    This could be a landslide.
    I’m happy the SNP is doing well as this will hasten Scottish independence. Good fuckin’ riddance if this is the case and a removal of a millstone from the rest of the UK.

    • Let’s hope the SNP cunts take Mrs Swindler’s seat. What a laugh that would be. Still, The Sun would pay her good money to get her tits out on page 3 , the fucking old slag.

    • Well Bertie, one thing will be absolutely certain. Wee Jimmy will be yelling from the rooftops that she’s now got a mandate for indyref2. Naturally she would claim that whatever the outcome, cos if ever there was a record stuck in the groove, she’s it.
      Face like a bulldog that’s chewing a wasp on a piss stained nettle to boot. What a fucking munter.

  6. I’m all for those fuckers who put up Xmas decorations early… If only to piss off and offend gibbering fuckflakes who whine on about the lovable peaceful murderers being ‘excluded’ at this time of the year…. To the Banana Splits theme: Fuck Allah! La-la-la-la….

  7. The minute the result is in, Banana Gob should immediately be arrested and charged with the highest of high treason…

    And that coked up stripper shagging one trick pony, Coogan?
    A Fucking Ha, you cunt!

  8. That old cunt Skinner might lose his seat, I always liked his sneaky comments abaaaaaht the monarchy but he is an old cunt and needs to fuck off to his allotment.

  9. Hope the exit poll is true, my resulting jizzbolt will be sky high. Fuck off you treacherous, commie arsehole.

    • All the Labour cunts on the telly are blaming it on Jezza and slagging him off like nobody’s business. Down to William Hill tomorrow and get a tenner on Dawn Lardbutt.

  10. Just watching a bit of the results. They had that same baldy cunt who’s exit poll stats for Brexit had remain at over 60% back in 2016 so I’m not overly optimistic just yet.

    One thing I have noticed – flicking between Sly and the AL-BEEB – is the number of rosette wearing little Napoleons, or is that Napoleonesses, floating around like galleons at full sail!

    Must be the only night the cunts get out from one election to the next.

    They’re only there to adjudicate and count votes (and to turn a blind eye to a suspiciously high number of postal votes by people called Mr Mohammed in Peterborough), and yet they strut around like they’re running the country!

    Get a life you self-important cunts!

  11. “It’s about what the people need, not the political party”, said HEIDI ALLEN on BBC coverage only minutes ago.

    THIS out of the mouth of the twat who went against what “the people needed” by ignoring their will and dumping the Tories over their approach to Brexit and to back remain.

    What a fucking hypocritical cunt of a woman.

    Anyway, I am LOVING this coverage so far. It has made my day….

    Labour loses Blyth Valley after 69 YEARS of control.
    Labour loses Darlington after 25 YEARS of control.
    Jo Swinson looks set to lose her seat.

    This speaks volumes about how the electorate are sick of their fuckery.

    Bring on more of this, please!! All I am missing right now is popcorn and a big, fuck-off coke……

    • Yeah I saw that astonishing hypocrisy from that Allen bitch. Didn’t have the bottle to stand as a candidate but is invited by the BBC to spout her predictable remoaner bullshit.
      Fuck off you arrogant traitor slag.

  12. Swinson is out! Oh fucking joy!!! I fucking love it, fucking love it!!!
    Fuck off to North Korea you fucking slag.

  13. To all the commie British hating mps the liberal infested media , the simpering pc celebrities and all the foreign fucks and pooves who vote Labour . Fuck you all you bastards you cunts you wankers you twats you shits you er piss. Fuck liberalism and fuck communism. Well done Britain another of our finest hours . Makes me proud to be an English cunt and an insomniac.

  14. A lovely Tory majority, Swinson out, and Steptoe saying he won’t be leader of the Cunt Party after a “very disappointing” night

    Fuck the BBC
    Fuck the Guardian
    Fuck the Smear Campaigns
    Fuck the likes of Major and Hesteltine for suggesting tactical voting to keep the Tories out.
    Fuck the treacherous MPs and Ministers who left the Tories and fucked off to the LibDumbs
    Fuck the propaganda bollocks
    You all fucking lost!!!

    I suppose we’ll get conspiracy theories next from the usual suspects (Russians rigged the vote etc)

    Come on Boris, you fucking clown: get rid of the deadwood, find a backbone and get Brexit back on track and how we want it done and not the EU

    Fuck them!

  15. Think John Bercows defeated look on sky might be the highlight of the night.Well after Swinson losing her seat Corbyns speech Dennis Skinner losing his seat and Caroline Lucas tantrum.

    • Yes, Bercow is a right old cunt now isn’t he!

      But my joy isn’t so much with the likes of Swinson and Corbyn having shit nights, but its towards the Lefty media and all their smug bullshit prior to the results that the Tories would do badly! That’s what has really made my day, with all their backtracking and “oh shit, the Tories still won an overall majority!”

  16. Poor Jo.

    She lost support during the campaign. The support just wasn’t there. It was not holding up.
    She should have shored up her support by wearing a stronger bra.

    It was her sagging tits wot lost it.

    • I really didn’t understand how she could possible stand on the basis that she was rejecting democracy, yet asking people to vote for her. Dumb bitch. I was pleased to see she looked as if somebody had crapped on her head.

      • I’ve been readings some of the bullshit opinions in The Guardian, and Swinson is quoted as saying that “millions of people in this country will face dread and despair”

        She just doesn’t get it does she! Rather than do some introspection as to why her party lost so badly, she has to resort to chilidish sticks & stones, and blame her defeat on those millions who voted for the Tories, despite all the shit that was thrown at Boris.

      • Never mind Jo, you may yet win one of the COTY nominations so this year wont have been flushed down the crapper completely.

      • I doubt it, she’ll sink without trace now. I can’t even be bothered to call the non-entity a cunt now. The cunt.

      • Yes very perky at the start. Everything was pointing upwards. Potential Prime Minister no less. She stood out. But then she had to roll back and they flopped.

  17. So that’s two GEs in two years, with the Loony Libtard Left losing out on both occasions. What more proof is needed that the “British” People (ie those predominantly not living in the big metro cities where they’re more or less a minority), don’t want freebie gimmicks and bullshit promises; and that liberalism/socialism is the answer to the country’s ills!

    Labour and the Lib Dumbs should fuck off and work out why they failed so badly twice over!

    Hopefully Boris has a mandate to take the country forward and tell the doubters, the traitors and the EU to go fuck themselves!

    • ‘You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.’

      Abraham Lincoln

  18. How long is it before the left start telling everybody that Tory voters didn’t know what they were voting for?

    • About 2-3 years, Technicunt.

      Actually, they won’t need to. By then, BlowJob (no relation to Harold Sakata) will be as popular as Phoney Tony is now.

      “The economy, stupid”, which is now heading for a tumble, will see to that.

      At least Daddy is happy, and we’ll be having lashings of brandy sauce rather than prussic acid on Boxing Day… although I don’t expect to be sniffing his buttons much after Christmas

  19. I think old Chuka Umunboona & pilau rice, lost his seat by 4,000 votes!

    Another cunt bites the dust.

    * I hope I’m not dreaming all this shit? Boris did win didn’t he?

  20. I wonder if the corridors of Savile House are littered with empty champagne bottles this time around.
    Cyanide bottles maybe… 😀

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