Food of the cunts! How the fuck anyone can eat these fucking abominations is completely beyond me!
They only ever seem to make an appearance during Christmas time, and when I was a kid my parents used to hide the fucking things underneath slices of turkey or chicken, as if I wouldn’t notice!
They smell like Flabbott’s arsehole after 30 minutes on the exercise bike, and they probably taste like Flabbott’s sweaty g-string after she’s finished with the bike!
Yes, this is a wank nomination, but quite frankly anyone who loves/eats these fucking things are masochistic cunts who deserve to spend 24 hours in a locked cell watching Owen Jones being gang-banged by 20 Turkish wrestlers!
Nominated by Technocunt
I have a life long loathing of these turds of the vegetable world as well. My mother used to pulverise them in a mixer and serve with butter in the hope that I wouldn’t notice. I always did though.
7
Fry the buggers with a few chopped up rashers of bacon and a load of black pepper…they’re fucking lovely.
19
Techno you fuckin commie, just eat yer sprouts!
Theres african kids dying of starvation in London!
They are gorgeous little green stink bombs.
My grandad fought in ww2 so you could eat sprouts ok, he fought for the other side, but thats beside the point!
Ps merry xmas😀
11
That’s you told Techo!
4
Jerky Sprout shortage?
2
My Mum always said eat your sprouts there are Biafran kids starving in darkest Africa who would die for food like that…So I’d eat my sprouts up fast so the darkest fuckers couldn’t have them. Every little helps.
8
Oh yes, sprouts and bacon. Keep them a bit crunchy, not boiled for a fortnight like our mums did. Fucking lovely.
7
Mmm lovely, Dickie.
I usually boil them until they’re half cooked then roast them in the oven in a tray with bacon, then with a couple minutes left I chuck in some walnuts to warm up.
5
“Mmm lovely, Dickie.”
Afternoon Spoons. I was a bit worried there that you’d
‘come out’ on Christmas Day until I noticed you’d put a comma between lovely and Dickie.
😀
5
Vegetables are theft. Brussel sprouts are the king of the vegetable thief’s. The more of these pointless green cunts on your plate the less meat.
This I find unacceptable and the kind of underhanded meat deprivation tactic employed by cunts.
Vegetarian and vegan protein avoiders can fuck off with their pale complexions and related health issues.
8
Obliged to Fiddler for his recipe suggestion – new to me. Will do. They’re ace (chopped up) in spring rolls, too.
Compliments of the season, Dick.
5
Best Wishes to you too, K.
2
Sprouts are a complete conundrum to me Techo. We never eat the fuckers at all in our house, but the wife insists that we must have them with the turkey on Xmas day, and buys a fucking carrier bag full.
As if there wasn’t enough to make you fart on Xmas day as it is, what with sage and onion stuffing, Xmas pud, mince pies and what have you.
I wouldn’t even mind, but I’ll have to eat a load of the cunts just to please her, then she’ll moan all night about me farting as a result (she doesn’t fart of course; she emits fragrantly).
6
Eat your greens, boyos. You want to grow up healthy, don’t you?
I don’t need sprouts to make me fart, I do it whatever I eat.
4
They’re not a patch on parsnips, Ron. Majestic taste!
4
Fuckin’ love roast parsnip me Captain ( Miserable Northern Cunt impersonation)
8
Who doesn’t, Bertrand. Proper English veg. The sort that World Champions, like Jordan Henderson, eat.
4
Exactly! He also eats sprouts which propel him around the pitch!
😀
4
I went to the fridge this morning to prepare them, only to realise I’d forgotten to buy any. What a twat. Even though I can have them anytime I was looking forward to them today and had nothing to replace them with.
4
Indeed Cuntflap. Farts are officially one of the funniest things in the world. My old man is 90 and still bursts out laughing at any fart.
8
Simmer the bastards in cider. Est the batstards,drink the cooled cider, drink more cider then who gives a fuck anyway!!
5
I have bad memories of my dad’s appalling flatulence after a plate of sprouts. The house stank like a fucking sewage farm on a hot summer’s day.
6
Love the fuckers and eat them whenever I can. Also help with the flatulence in case the ale isn’t brewing enough.
4
Have to say as a kid I fucking hated them, but as I got older I love them.
I’m having a traditional Christmas a whisky, cigar and a wank.
Merry Fucking Christmas! 🤶
9
It’s funny how tastes change as you get older.The missus says that she used to hate getting spanked as a kid, but now she fucking loves it. Happy to oblige her of course.
13
Lovin’ brussel sprouts in this locale!
6
I agree. Sprouts are wonderful. Too many tickets on here who don’t like vegetables. Are they Northerners or Australians? Probably don’t like showers, either.
4
Tickets? I meant Fuckers.
3
No, Tickets. As in ‘Rickets”
2
I have to report that sprouts are upsetting Remainers, but they will need them when Slubberguts Thornberry, Hammy Lammy, Ms. Wrong Daily, Bulldyke Phillips and Dame Keir use them to decide who will be leader in the great St. Jeremy Farting Contest:
https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/1221034/brexit-news-morrisons-supermarket-brussels-sprouts-leave-EU-nigel-farage-brexit-party
My guess is the lovely Emily will beat all-comers on volume but Dame Keir will sweep all before him in odour.
4
I propose that after the blesséd Day of Brexit, we take a leaf out of the Yanks’ book and re-name the fuckers ‘Freedom Sprouts’
8
They definitely need to be renamed. This will make them even more delicious. Wisbech Lovebuds, perhaps?
7
Brexit balls.
Made in England.
8
I really do like that!
3
A kilo of Brexit Bollocks for Bercow, special delivery…
2
I love sprouts and I don’t care who knows it. Happy Wednesday 25th December.
10
I love sprouts!! I eat them all year round. They play havoc with my bowels but at least I get a good clearing out of my poo pipes.
I hated them as a kid to the extent that one time, when I was made to sit at the table and eat all my veg, or I couldn’t have my chocolate ‘Angel Delight’ pudding, I scooped them into a tissue and hid them under my bed. Trouble is, I forgot about them and my Mum discovered them weeks later when cleaning.
She thought an alien species had landed in our semi-detached and crawled under my bed.
To say I got an arse slapping is an understatement.
8
Seasons Greetings Nurse Cunty. As people have pointed out, sprouts are an acquired taste. Like you, I couldn’t give a fart about them when I was young. I only eat them at Christmas time but I really look forward to them.
5
Merry Christmas to you too, BBTC.
Definitely an acquired taste. Funny how when we are kids we are averse to certain foods but in adulthood they become bearable….
4
I ordered an indian takeaway the other week with vegetable rice as it would do as my one a week and the devious bastards put three of the devil’s testicles in there! What’s that all about? The end is nigh. Cunts.
7
RTC swears by mushrooms, but I have long enjoyed sprouts with curry. Bung them in the rice when it’s boiling (preboil them if it’s basmati). This is my sole contribution to multiculturalism.
5
Once a year, I don’t mind them to be honest.
“Owen Jones being gang-banged by 20 Turkish wrestlers!”
Now that I would pay to see. 😂
7
Hey, whatever works for you Rtc.
We all have something that gets us off.😀
7
I cannot deny the nurturing, empathic, intuitive and compassionate side of myself Mnc… 😇
6
Sniggêr, sniggêr, sniggêr.
2
Snîgger baiter!
2
Food of the Gods!
10
Too right, where do people think hurricanes come from?
4
I would love to see “Owen Jones being gang-banged by 20 Turkish wrestlers!” the little bastard deserves it.
Oh yeah – I fuckin’ love Brussels Sprouts.
4
Sprouts, bacon, thyme, shallots, salt, pepper.
Merry Christmas!
6
I like them, but in moderation. They’re like baby cabbages, aren’t they.
Merry Christmas to all on IAC and to the Admin who do a thankless job. What a year of cunting it’s been. Talking of cabbages, as Its the end of a 20-teens, I was pondering who my “Cunt of The Decade” would be. Tony Blair, Cameron, Obama, Robbie Williams, Mourhino, or my local GP receptionist. Close call.
10
“anyone who loves/eats these fucking things are masochistic cunts who deserve to spend 24 hours in a locked cell watching Owen Jones being gang-banged by 20 Turkish wrestlers!”
That sounds pretty sweet- sign me up.
5
Owen Jones would be writing an article in the Guardian the day after.
“I gave up my Christmas Day to spread diversity among suppressed members of the Turkish LBGT community”
He’d probably have a picture of his ring piece to show how much he gave for the cause.
Next Christmas Owens taking 40 for the team.
“What did you racist vile gammon do for those in need?”
Owen loved every single inch and minute.
It could be the new charity event, get your kebab skewered by a Turk.
7
I do love a sprout, but here’s one to really turn your stomach – try a raw, uncooked sprout. I first decided to try on a few years ago when we were preparing the chrimbo dinner. Oh my god – it was like heaven in my mouth, so much better than when they are cooked. Yummy.
4
I love em raw RB. They have that nice crunch with a peppery after burn.
1
Sorry but I love any grub that makes me rip like an Eastend docker, farts are the chef’s applause for a great meal…plus who wouldn’t want to watch Owen Cunt getting split in half by turkish wrestlers, i’d pay money and bring popcorn to watch that little cunt die screaming. YO HO HO YOU CUNTS
5
Well all those people who love sprouts on here are masochist cunts.
May the farts be with you!
3
Have you cunters not tried dutch ovening the other half? Mrs CuntyMort loves it when ol’ Cunty launches a fart trumpet, issuing clouds of noxious gas rendering her unconcious. Jolly japes all the year round.
farting is an art form.
Merry Christmas
2
They’re the one food I cannot eat, it’s not a fussy eater thing, they genuinely make me retch. If you’re over ten and call yourself a fussy eater you’re a cunt.
0