I would like to nominate these irritating bastards, which are doing my frazzled nut in of late.
Every time you get on a website, the box from hell emerges out of the ether, asking you to ‘Please allow/accept cookies’ and a load of other blah, blah, blah shite about, ‘We value your privacy’ (my arsehole)
The only fucking cookies I would gladly accept are the type that come with big, fuck-off chunks of chocolate in them, accompanied by an equally big, fuck-off mug of tea, but if you fail to click on these cunts, they hang around like Queen Elton John on Hampstead Heath of a night, annoying your browsing experience.
Yes, I get that they legally have to ask to ‘collect my data’ (whatever the fuck that means) but for the sake of fuck, some of these pop-ups are like herpes…..you struggle to get rid of the bastards, even after clicking. Sometimes they actually breed, like Katie Price popping another one out of her expansive vag….Oh, look! there’s another one……
Fucking cunts.
Nominated by Nurse Cunty
Website Privacy Pop-ups…
Yes, I know this is a real shit nomination that would probably only appeal to the saddo techie heads out there (myself included). But I have to say ever since GDPR came out in May 2018 I am sick to death of these constant “We value your privacy” pop-ups whenever you visit a website in the UK. Doesn’t matter what site you visit, if its your first time you’ll get the pop-up which will give you one or two options either to accept or refuse cookies. Or if you’re lucky there maybe a third option where you can “manage” the cookies the site wants to dump on your device.
The only problem with this 3rd option is that you then have to wade through a lot more options including fairly meaningless things like “Information Storage and Access”, “Personalisation”, “Ad Selection, delivery and reporting” and “Measurement” to name but 4. But should you choose to care there’s a shitload more privacy options that you may want to switch off.
But let’s face it who the fuck has got the time or the inclination to constantly toggle options on every fucking site you visit? So you think “fuck this for a game of tiddlywinks” and just click the “Accept” option, from which point you’ll get weighed down with shitloads of ads and pop-ups when you finally get to the site you want to scope.
This wouldn’t be so bad on a PC or laptop, but on a smartphone or tablet the constant popups not only get in the way of what you’re trying to read/watch, but also slows down your bandwidth as well as eat into your data management if you’re unlucky enough to be on a metered contract.
So you have a choice: spend ages switching all the options off in order to value your privacy; or think “fuck the consequences” and just accept everything and forever be fucked with spam, ads, pop-ups and possibly viruses and malware.
Nominated by Technocunt
As irritating and welcome as a dose of the clap.
Great cunting both.
Afternoon all.
8
Afternoon Ron. Brought in by the EU, I believe. The problem is that most of the websites won’t work properly or at all if you don’t accept them so it’s actually all a load of unnecessary bollocks.
9
Fucking EU bureaucracy. We should just fucking leave…
Afternoon CS
8
Great nom Nurse Cunty!👍
I NEVER open those ‘accept cookie’ things, NEVER!
Dodgy shite!
Fuck sake MNC, you not got your rocks off for a bit? You know NC is really a hod carrier from the midlands?
4
Thats not very nice Admin!
Nothing wrong with being polite to ladies!
Im a fucking gentleman, no harm in that!
And dont be so cheeky😠
10
Nobody has mentioned the 3rd option, tell them to fuck off and don’t ever go to the site again. My pet hate is, without thinking, opening several pages from a site then having to go through the shit on every single fucking page you opened. I think I preferred when they just didn’t ask, after all the end result is the same.
6
I used to visit the website of the local newspaper to check on the latest football news, but every single fucking day up pops this notice saying Sorry For The Intrusion and asking me to click on ‘accept’. It blocks everything so the choice is to dutifully click on it every day or give it up completely. And considering how my local team is performing, that’s what I’ve decided to do.
6
Do you support Arsenal by any chance?
1
I’m two hundred miles away from Arsenal. But I’m too embarrassed to tell you which team I support.
0
Must be ManU then.
0
Bet they’re doing better than mine Allan.
0
Cookies??? What in the name of Jurgen Klopps teeth are they all about, eh? The cunts.
5
It’s the EU all right. But before the legislation, you’d have got the cookies anyway – so what are they, and what do they do? Answer: most of them are collecting data they can monetise:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTP_cookie
And there is no actual need in operational terms for the vast majority. Particularly third-party cookies.
A far better solution would be some controls on the garbage a site can dump in your device. Cunting endorsed, fully.
3
The EU made this law and ruined the Internet.
Please Boris and Dominic, if you’re reading this, change the law so that we get necessary cookies only and do away with pop ups. Then there would have to be a change on each site where a user can optionally find and choose to have all the unnecessary advertising cookies but no pop up!
2
Website: “Will you accept cookies?”
Me: “Absolutely not!”
“If you call them by their proper name biscuits, then perhaps I might!”
4
Cookies are for americans Spoons,
Biscuits are for cultured English men like us.
You got a favourite?
Custard creams?
Bourbons?
Nice?
Few miles from me is the mcvities factory, and when driving past sometimes you can smell them baking chocolate digestives!
Smells like heaven!!!
4
One of the preciously scant things I can say to be fair to the EUSSR about, is that they did at least nakedly tell us they’d be asking us for permission before ensuring that any page we look up or any mere trifle we post on the internet, a millimetre right of centre, will be reported back to Soros HQ.
0