Lily Allen (10)

Emergency cunting for our favourite musical mong. Apparently she was so emotionally overwhelmed by Compo’s manifesto for the destruction of Britain that she burst into tears.

Her voice cracking, she dabbed at her eyes with immaculately manicured hands and said: ‘Guys I’ve just watched the Labour manifesto. I think it’s the best manifesto I’ve ever seen.’ But many viewers on Twatter pointed out that the perfectly symmetrical ‘tears’ appeared to be faked using a filter.

To be fair, I burst into tears when I heard what Labour were planning too, but I suspect not for the same reason?

Corbyn today vowed to overhaul the ‘political establishment’ – with the middle classes set to bear the brunt of the socialist assault. Ms Allen – who lives in a London flat after selling her £4.2million Cotswolds mansion in 2016 – has turned to political activism recently and offered her backing to the left-wing Labour leader. She seems oblivious to the fact that she’s one of the evil rich bastards he’s plannimg to crucify if he gets the keys to Number 10.

This at least proves one thing : even turkeys will vote for Christmas…

Nominated by Dioclese

Shit. That’s another one for the wall!

121 thoughts on “Lily Allen (10)

  1. She needs to be fucked in all 3 holes from now until Christmas while having “Rule Britannia” play in the background.

    She really is an attention-seeking whore: no talent but a gob the size of her own fetid minge!

      • The Allen family are narcissistic talentless white trash – does Lily Allen know how much gippo and jock will tax her ill gotten gains if they are elected – give it two Years of that and Ms snowflake will be joining the rest at the foodbank and can then whine legitimately about poverty and injustice
        Detestable scum.

      • Thing is Vernon, Ms Allen and her ilk have the ability to move her assets out of the cuntry.

        As ever do as I say.

        Anyone remember Ms Allen saying she didn’t have a privileged upbringing as her father, Keith left when she was 4?

        What she didn’t say is her stepfather is Harry Enfield.

        So, no privilege there then.

      • Harry Enfield is her Stepfather? Methinks she has suffered enough!
        Although, I have heard an amusing whisper from a friend of mine that there is an application for a refugee and multi faith centre pretty much on her doorstep, hope her “music” gives her a magical snowflake power that makes her rape and stab proof (but Messiah Jeremy will protect her – he will sort it all out with a flask of chamomile tea, a lettuce sandwich and an unreserved apology to the peacefuls for her “Watford gap” being so wide they could fit almost fit a dinghy in it..)

      • She has already moved her assets offshore to prevent wurzel and Stalin getting at them, champagne socialism at it’s deluded dishonest best

      • No doubt in Lenin does get into power, the talent-free Miss Allen will be emigrating to the USA “to persue her career”.

        Young model seeks new position, perhaps?

      • Said family currently rushing from Waitrose to shout “waycist” at the two people on Westminster Bridge today who clearly deliberately threw themselves on a knife wielded by “a supporter of a peaceful and tolerant religion” and deliberately died in an obvious attempt at his lamb ophobia – innocent moo slime currently residing in paradise after a horrid waycist copper filled him with holes – but the film of “Pete Peaceful” being kicked to f*ck by an angry mob before officer takedown arrives is priceless!

    • Lily is just apologising to her poor oppressed sheep farmer friend (it’s, er, “his lamb”, you see) for all the waycism directed at his peaceful ideology, and as he clearly was oppressed and radicalised during his first stint in prison for “therapist activities” (before being released early to spread the peaceful word on London Bridge) Lily won’t be asking for the carving knife back she loaned him to unwrap his Christmas presents back (“Oi fink dat wot he said or sumfink innit”)
      I wonder if something will finally be done now some rich privileged people have been butchered? (and no disrespect against the innocent victims, but the poor are usually the victims and apparently invisible).
      When will the clowns in charge realise that we are harbouring, welcoming and enabling feral murdering savages?
      Oh yes, when one of their own gets taken out.
      Angry? Fuck yes!

  2. Great cunting she my best cunt as well, its just another desperate ploy to get her ugly mug in the news again, it must be time for another bollocks album or something, and this bonehead is so fucking thick she dosnt understand that her and matching cunts are going to be helping to fund the free loading tidal wave of shit that we are afflicted with in the UK, so at least desperate ,sad, fuckwits like Lilly the musical mong will have to do their bit,
    She is an attention seeking weapons grade cunt that cant sing and thats all she is, you a fucking moron.

    • Excessive use does make you gurn and cry Lily! – oh no – is she having “a little woin anna mawn”?
      Sit at the window and wait for the boy on the BMX, and please stop making shit music!

    • So glad I live in Yorkshire – avoids the chance of meeting the dead eyed harridan!
      I have noticed though, over the last five Years the town I live in has begun to resemble the middle east..

  3. Please admins – put this cunt on The Wall! She really is a cunt amongst a sea of cunts; and I would laugh my bollocks off if (and its a big IF) Labour won power and immediately taxed cunts like her back to the Stone Age!

  4. She is such an attention seeking slag. She reminds me of that fucker Chris Martin (?) a British man who has announced today with fucking pomp that his band wants to be “carbon neutral” so he has fucked off to Jordan to make the announcement.

    Like the Allen creature I suspect they want to be seen to do good so they can go to heaven.

    I think Alex Salmond ought to be given this whore to dally with, and Chris Martin can have his back doors bashed in by Mangledbum.

    • To be fair, the virtue signalling cunt is doing two gigs in Jordan which will be distributed free around the world.
      Why Jordan, well (according to the stupid cunt) it’s the centre of the world and they don’t get many bands there.
      What a twat, he and his band are going to take two years to work out how to be ‘sustainable’ and make a positive contribution.

      Here you are Chris , stick your head in a gas oven, switch on and breathe deeply….
      CUNT!

      The two year break will mainly comprise of them walking home to reduce their carbon footprint.

      • If and when he does stick his head in a gas oven I do
        hope he sets the timer (about 5 minutes) otherwise he will leave a rather large carbon footprint, the true apostle of all things green would surely prefer to relinquish his mortal coil by getting St Greta Thunder thighs to sit on his face and be beaten remorselessly with birch twigs

    • And invited a BBC “news” team to fly over there so Pwincess can lecture the poor silly uneducated masses about the terror of global warming!
      I have an idea Chris – use some of your 100 million Pound fortune to invest in UK green tech companies, sell some of your five houses and six cars and stop flying round the f*cking World lecturing people who could probably work all their lives and still not afford the cost of a flight!

  5. Saw this before on the net,what a 24 carat gold CUNT.Comes to something when a has been chord murderer blubbers over Steptoe’s lyingfesto. .
    Seems like she can’t control her cake hole or the tears.
    Gobshite!

    • Hmm it smells. The only active company is “In the Name of Limited” of which she is a Director.

      The (unaudited) accounts show profits of £7K and net assets of £7K.

      Not much for ol’ Gramps to get his hands on?

      • See also ‘Tourings Boring Limited’
        Latest accounts show £20,040 owing
        ‘Pask it up, Pack it in LLP’ (!)
        £82,506 in the black
        The partners in this are Touring’s Boring and Lily.
        Also –
        94 BRONDESBURY ROAD MANAGEMENT COMPANY LIMITED
        Net current assets £4 – no profit and loss account
        and –
        94 BRONDESBURY ROAD FREEHOLD LIMITED
        with identical accounts to above -£4 in hand.
        Lily is one of four directors of the last two firms.

        When I see an LLP, I think of Tony Blair. But I would expect to see an LP somewhere in the mix. Looks like a cash channeling setup, perhaps ( who knows?) going overseas. Over to someone who knows something about it!.

      • As a former corporate banker and broker (and therefore a complete b*stard who should be shot!) I can confirm that this slippery little vipers nest bears all the classic hallmarks of fiscal write off and offshore investment and holdings – AKA known as “tax avoidance”.
        Help the poor Lily – pay your fucking taxes!

      • With apologies for the terrible grammar – if my English teacher was not hiding in a Yew tree he would be ashamed..

      • Many thanks for the confirmation. My only expertise in this comes from looking at Blair’s ingenious 12-company setup pre-2016. No-one apparently examined its connection with two Gibraltar shells…but I did. Sadly, the trail dies out there, and he has since remodelled the scam.

  6. Yes I imagine today is going to be a bit of a Labtard Cuntfest. A virtuoso virtue signalling symphony to make grown men weep (glycerine tears) and for women to keen and ululate … cunts.

    • Don’t tell me that he-man Lewis is one of them?. But he does a man’s job. I don’t know what to say – I haven’t been so shocked since I heard that family man Lord Adonis had joined Jim Vaz’s washing machine repair company. Thank god that nice Mr Alan Carr is as straight as a die…..

    • Dunno what it is about a crying mardarse snowflake that makes my dick rockhard?
      Any complaints admin wrote this.

      time, date stamp, unedited, you wrote it we can prove it

      • It appears a tab has been airbrushed out of that second photo.

        PC gone mad.

        Had it been left intact that photo would have given me the fucking horn.

      • I’m from Sheffield too Vernon. Would lover her to take a long slow stroll around Paige Hall, Burngreave, Tinsley and Darnell to see the wonders that multiculturalism has brought us. Another NIMBY a la Lineker, Cumberbatch et all who spout a multitude of cack from their millionaire ivory towers.

      • I am not from Sheffield but have friends there, I like the place, good straight talking people and not a snowflake woke in sight. Just tell her the areas in question are quaintly titled branches of Waitrose!
        If Lily is so bothered “abaht de poor yoof” I have a great idea – pay your f*cking taxes, use some of your multi million fortune to buy some housing and rent it to locals who do A REAL JOB and because of gentrification and social cleansing cannot afford to live where they grew up, pushed out by “luxury apartments” for “young professionals” (starting at a very reasonable half a million), fund some food banks and set up a trust fund offering students from underpriveleged backgrounds the opportunity to get a professional qualification – it beats the arse off dragging pallets round a JD Sports warehouse (I had the joy of that before setting up my own business, I remember thinking “any muppet can sell online and do a better job of it than these pr*cks” – so I did!)
        And if she gets bored of all her philanthropy she could fuck off round the World in a private jet with her ontourage, Piss Martin and Harry Hewitt to lecture everyone on the destruction caused to the planet by air travel!
        Ooh – I’m soooo mean!

      • You’re right Miserable. She’s such a guilty pleasure in that respect. Pity she’s such an attention seeking publicity whore. Must have a ‘Greatest Shits’ compilation out for Xmas or something.

  7. Shameless hypocritical whorebag. Like all rich cunts she’s got her dough in “investments” and off shore bank accounts where the likes of Steptoe can’t get his grubby hands on it.
    When it comes to the magic money tree it’s only the lower branches that will get a shaking as usual.
    It won’t cost the champagne socialists like Lily Slagheap a fucking penny.

    • But as commie and scummy have veeery slyly slid in some legislation to chase and tax offshore account holders I foresee a very amusing outcome if comrade chamomile does manage to dupe the people (I believe they are targeting the “yoof” vote – easier to manipulate)
      Not to worry, perhaps the aspiring architect on the bmx has something to make her feel better..

  8. (1990: Keef Allen and New Order are sitting in the pub pondering the World Cup in whose final England will later be robbed of a place by some German bastards.)

    New Order: Hey Keef, d’ya fancy writing a song to inspire our football team?

    Keith Allen: No, I’ve got to shag the wife.

    New Order: But if you shag that old bint, you might spawn another version of you, except even worse. Plus we’ll have less time to collaborate on a tune which means it might eventually be shitty, disco crap with a woeful gag about “E” in it.

    Keith Allen: No no, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    💩

    • She was probably conceived at the same time St Gary of Linkunt was shitting himself on the pitch against Rep of Ireland, quite apt really.

      • I was alright for a while
        I could smile for a while
        But i saw you last night
        You held me hand so tight
        And you stopped to say hello
        Oh you wished me well
        And you couldnt tell
        That id been crying over you
        Crying over you
        Then you said ‘so long’
        Left me standing all alone
        Alone and crying
        Crying
        Crying
        Crying
        Lilly had a lot in common with Roy Orbison in that they both stood on a stage and were hideous to look at.
        Although Roy had the most beautiful voice ever! And supremely talented
        Lilly has nothing

      • Imagine your mum being Lily fucking Allen. You’d be drenched in spit going to school every day. She makes me want to self-harm.

        And no Techno, rimming is out of the question.

      • Liquidatir, maybe linekunt had fucked Lilymong’s mother, heard that a a mong was born to the world, and consequently shat himself.

        Either that or he’s simply full of shit.

  9. I worry about my fellow man (and woman) how can anyone take people like Lily the Mong seriously.

    Why, why, why!

    With regard to the Labour Manifesto , what are we always being told…..

    If it looks to good to be true….. It’s Probably a SCAM!!

    • “Bring back rail, water, electricity and telecoms back under state control”

      “Who is paying Jeremy”?

      “The rich and corporate business”

      “They don’t pay now Jeremy – what part of cloud cuckoo land do you live in where you think they will have an attack of conscience and pony up because you told them to”?

      “You’re a racist…”

      Keep the red flag flying comrade scarecrow, way to bankrupt a Country.

  10. I would laugh my arse off if she ended up being mugged and/or raped by some Eastern European cunts.

    Although knowing her misguided belligerence she would do an Owen Jones and say it was really some right-ring Brexiteer white men that did her!

    • It is not the ones with white faces she needs to worry about!

      Will somebody please butt Kuenssberg? (just hang around the Synagogue for long enough and she will waft up in a stink of incense and piss)

    • When’s Lily Allen likely to meet any East Euro filth? She lived in a Cotswolds mansion in a quiet village probably miles from the nearest Lidl/Poundshop/Drug den.

    • Woke snowflake nightmare, ethnic minoriteeees attacking “LGBT” – who do the Police offer the first tofu and diversity awareness to? How can they blame it on “Undereducated white Male Brexiteers?

    • I was going to have fish & chips from the local chippy tonight.

      Don’t think I’ll bother now: can’t imagine why!

    • That was the nastiest thing I have seen all day – only because the Wife isn’t back from shopping yet!
      NO shoes for the Butler, just Buckfast and pornography please Lady Reynard!

    • Jesus christ on a Sunshine Bus, it’s a good job that wasn’t in Smellovision.

      I think the rotten haddock odour would have knocked me flying.

      • Yes I’m concerned as well Mr Fiddler. It pains me greatly to witness their deteriorating relationship. I have an idea though-if they could find it in themselves to go along with it. At the up coming Isac Christmas party B&WC blacks up (a bit more) and then kneels before him belting out a heart rending performance of Mammy, pleading ‘I’m here Mammy! Mammy I’m here!.We know how fond they are of their mothers? How moved Krav would be. That would soften his heart definitely. In return Krav could nip into the toilets emerge as a rasta with a huge great black dildo in one hand, a spliff in the other (of equal size) singing ‘Mr Lover Man’ dreadlocks swaying to the beat. As a sort of tribute to him, apppealing to B&W’s vanity. You know how he fancies himself as a ladies man. That could be a gesture on both their parts that could bring all this unpleasantness to an end.

      • LOL

        Evening,Miles.

        What a grand idea. You know how I dislike strife and upset so I’d be delighted to see the pair of them meet up at a booze-fuelled Isac… Christmas party.

      • Good evening Miles. I am surprised how little conflict does occur in the broad church that is IsAC. As we approach the season of goodwill, I’m sure that most people will wish to bury the axe for the festive season with those who they don’t see eye to eye with. I have already released the doves from the dovecotes of Blunty Manor to attempt reconciliation with my adversaries.

        PS I am still awaiting your completed poem about the lady on the train.

      • Your doves’ll get both barrels from my 12 bore if they come near me,Bertie. I enjoy roast pigeon.

      • You can be assured Dick, that their flight path takes them well away from Fiddler Towers!
        😂

      • We all have mothers Bertie isn’t that true? That’s something we all have in common; our mothers.
        I know RT’s came from Scunny.
        My idea at the end of the Christmas Party we all come together thinking of our dear mothers rather than the differences between us – whether it’s left or right, town or country, black or white, Jew or gentile, catholic or protestant yes we all stand up and link arms for a rousing chorus of Mammy-

        ‘Mammy, Mammy, I’d walk a million miles…(all of us swaying together) for one of your smiles my MAMMEEEEEEE!!!!’

        Not a dry eye in the house.

  11. Compo will probably let her keep her stash of filthy lucre. After all she’s a useful idiot spouting Propaganda for the old Cunt

  12. Are you sure that picture of her snatch is real? It looks in remarkably good condition considering it’s had more traffic than the Blackwall Tunnel.

  13. I recall the Singing Mong annoucing she was staying away from the UK until Brexit was over.

    No different to all of these gobby, lefty cuntwits who make these ‘threats’, they soon come crawling back like a foul smell before their time.

    • Even though he still refuses to say what happened to his victims body, the parole board were convinced that his behaviour can be ‘successfully managed in the community’
      Justice? What fucking justice….

      • Easy, isn’t it. Heat the poker to a glowing white, then; “Trousers down, Mr Simms… Now, are you going to tell us or not. you piece of fucking crap!”

      • Managed in the community, until he kills again, at which point some psychiatrist is wheeled out to explain that society’s expectation he does not rape and kill people placed so much emotional pressure on the poor mite he had no choice but to do it again

  14. Just asked my bookie for odds on Alex Salmond topping himself, to be told “That’s inappropriate and not something we’d get involved in and besides that, the cunt is too fucking arrogant to consider it. Save your money.”
    A caring bookie looking out for a punter, who’d of thought….

    • But he’s innocent, I heard him say so on the radio. A man of such impeccable character as he should not have to go through this charade. And I definitely will not be having a party if he is in any way found guilty.

      • Really suits her.
        Corbyn should grow mutton chops an get a top hat wi mirrors ala Noddy Holden.
        “Cüm on feel the noize!!”

      • God only knows what has happened to her teeth; looks as if she has been crunching sticks of rock.

        Reminiscent of something from TV’s River Monster.

      • I wonder if he has ever given lovely wee Nicola a knee-trembler in the doorway of the rubber goods shop in Sochiehall Street?

      • I’ll take the high road, then the badly worn dirt track above – and a massive thanks to Salmond for colluding with Don Fart to destroy an absolutely beautiful piece of Scotland and eliminating for all time a unique site of scientific interest so a few rich fat ridiculously dressed American c*nts can waddle round after a golf ball (You’ve been Trumped is compulsive viewing, highly recommended!)
        Have to go now – Lady R has been at the Gordons and is feeling frisky, and to be honest I am not sure if frisky likes it too much..

    • I’d like to get odds on Jabba doing a 5 stretch in Barlinnie JR.

      Hopefully sharing a cell with a 6ft 5” Unionist tranny called Barbara.

  15. I wonder how many manifestos she has perused to come to such a conclusion. Is it up there with Mein Kampf? It’s a difficult call, whether she actually believes the crap she comes out with, or is it all just calculated to get her more exposure? Her musical career has died on its arse, and I think the skank has a new album out, so I’m not sure. Either way shes a cunt mind.

  16. If she wants to be in the public eye, she should bend over, pucker up & let Billy Bragg do her up the dirtbox whilst singing ‘The Red Flag’, then post it on YouTube.
    It’d be more entertaining than a few mock tears and her stupid mong comment about the ‘best manifesto she’s ever seen’. Fucking social media has a lot to answer for, giving these cunts a voice.

  17. Re poetry Bertie. Yes, you were right about Model Train it did need something more added to it. To make it more substantial. Anyway I trust your judgement. I actually feel the same about this one. There’s something up with it. But I don’t know what it is. Maybe you can tell me.

    Broken Tree

    The powers that be planted a lovely little tree outside my window. I watched it grow.
    Now broken in half where the branches start by hooligans or vandals. Such a scandal.

    Not even in its prime it wasn’t given time.
    Only a sapling such a delicate thing.

    What does it betoken? It looks so broken.
    What does it signify? That something is awry.

    ‘Only God can make a tree’ said famously.
    Only Man is so wanton to simply destroy one.

    • I like it Miles. I see very little wrong with it, apart from maybe breaking down the first two longer lines into couplets like the remaining part.

    • I know what’s done it Miles! It’s that poem by Edward Thomas that I have trouble with! . . . . . . . . .

      Will You Cûm?
      Edward Thomas – 1878-1917

      Will you cûm?
      Will you cûm?
      Will you ride
      So late
      At my side?
      O, will you cûm?

      Will you cûm?
      Will you cûm?
      If the night
      Has a moon,
      Full and bright?
      O, will you cûm?

      Would you cûm?
      Would you cûm?
      If the noon
      Gave light,
      Not the moon?
      Beautiful, would you cûm?

      Would you have cûm?
      Would you have cûm?
      Without scorning,
      Had it been
      Still morning?
      Beloved, would you have cûm?

      If you cûm
      Haste and cûm
      Owls have cried;
      It grows dark
      To ride.
      Beloved, beautiful, cûm.

      😀

  18. Oh pointy birds, oh pointy pointy
    Anoint my head, anointy-nointy
    In Dillman’s grove, our love did die
    And now in ground shall ever lie
    None could e’er replace her visage
    Until your face brought thoughts of kissage….

  19. None of these self righteous cunts who profess to be against the evils of capitalism, & ‘for the people’ will pay a penny in tax.

    Their accountants ‘pay’ them national minimum wage from their earnings, then squirel the rest away abroad in hedge funds, property, pension schemes – basically any tax loophole available.

    I wouldn’t be surprised to find she will be able to claim tax credits under Labours grand economic plan. Don’t forget, her water, gas & electric bills will be halved under Labours utility nationalisation plans – plus she’ll get FREE prescription meds and FREE broadband with Mcdonnels give-away bonanza.

  20. Great manifesto for shits like you Lily, not so great if you work for a living.

    And it’s to be sure that if Commissar Corbynov comes anywhere near the undeserved fortune you’ve amassed (through inflicting torture on the eardrums of innocent bystanders), you’ll have it hidden away deeper than Lord Lucan on a visit to Shangri-la!

    Usual crocodile tears from a useless, virtue-signalling cunt!

    I give Labour’s manifesto the same tears I give to dead economic migrants trying to enter the country illegally: the ones from my Jap’s eye!

    Cry me a fucking river cunt!

  21. This from the cunt who in her charmingly titled ditty ‘Fuck You’, sang “So you say, it’s not okay to be gay, well I think you’re just evil”. And yet she’s the poster girl for the religion of peas, one of whose very basic and very vocally and visibly expressed tenets is that being gay is indeed evil.

    STUPID FUCKING TWATBITCHCUNTMONG.

    Don’t cry for me Lillytina. Cry for the fucking continent you and your ilk have helped wreck. A millennium from now – if there’s a world left – our descendants will be watching YouMust, sorry, Tube, videos on whether the mythical land of Europe ever existed and has sunk into the sea, or if it was all just a primitive author’s fable.

    FUCK YOU VERY MUCH YOU CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT.

  22. Lilly the cunt has been cunted 10 times now, surely she should get the massage now and take herself from this world, is there any person except for government who has been cunted more than this twat?

  23. I didnt know you could ‘watch’ a manifesto. I usually read them.

    I’m sure it was just another performance to gain likes and followers. All beneath me these days.

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