A nomination for self-confessed idiot Steven Smith, who thought it would be a spiffing wheeze to get his mate to squirt pepper spray in his eyes – because he didn’t think it would hurt.
He thought he’d blinded himself after he pulled the stunt, using a £3 spray he bought online from China. After getting an unnamed pal to squirt it in his face, dad-of-three Steven turned the spray on his mate – before they both doubled over in agony. Postman Steven from Widnes, Cheshire, said the pair couldn’t breathe properly or open their eyes for 20 minutes. Asked why he did it, he said he thought it “wouldn’t be that bad” but admitted it was “the worst pain I’ve ever felt”.
His unnamed mate is a cunt too.
Nominated by Mystic Maven
Complete bell-ends.
Should have blinded both of the cunts permanently.
I accidentally sprayed deoderant into my left eye last week and that hurt like fuckery, so pepper spray must be an order of magnitude worse….
7
Soppy wanker. This is the sort of cunt who didn’t get a slap from his Dad when he tried to stick his tongue in a live electric socket. B&W cunt obviously did , which is why he restricts himself to sticking it in women’s arseholes. Just as pointless but rather less dangerous.
15
Well seasoned cunt….
10
Being fair,we can all do things that we later regret. I was driving in the Lake District when, for some reason, I took it into my head to find out if those brake-fail layby things worked. I put my foot down and roared at top speed straight into the gravel-trap…..Fucks Sake….I went from 70mph to zero in the blink of an eye…seatbelt nearly cut me in half.ripped the exhaust and some break-pipes off.front valance etc. The worst of it was having to get some Cunt with a tractor to tow me out. I’m sure that he thought that I was a Mental when he asked if my breaks had failed and I told him that they hadn’t, I just fancied giving it a try.
21
For God’s sake tell me this is not true Dick.
You’ve just shattered my illusion of you as a relatively sane, level headed, sensible individual. Guess I’ll just have to find a new role model in life then.
7
I’m the only sane Cunt on here.
4
Did u forget me ?
3
We’ve all done daft things.
I was riding my old motorbike years back, when I decided to see how far I could go with my eyes closed (I was bored). Just missed a parked car doing about 50.
And on two occasions I’ve had a fart wanting release that I thought could also be a shit. Instead of just going to the bog to find out for sure, I wanted to see which it was. One was a fart. The other time I filled my pants on the couch.
Great days.
12
Pity it wasn’t novichok.
9
I think it was Daniel Stern who was twatted by the iron.
4
My memories of the sequel are altogether hazier although I do remember the little cunt throwing bricks at them from the roof of a building.
2
He was fending off Michael Jackson 😁
9
He’ll get a call from some fucking lawyer advising him to sue the manufacturer’s for not doing a disclaimer for stupid cunts wanting to spray the stuff in their eyes!
Hopefully his next stunt will be to shove electric probes up his arsehole to see if that’ll hurt too!
5
Just ask Tom Daly. You can bet your life he has already tried it.
9
wonder if Tom Daly enters his other half of the top board, by jesus that must hurt .
0
I think there should be a TV show called “Britain’s Got Bellends” or “The Twat” (a variation of The Apprentice); or “Ready, Steady, Oh Fuck!” – these shows would attracts fuckwits such as Smith like flies round shit!
7
Jackass was pretty good at that. Look up ‘Fart Mask’ on YouTube.
6
You may not need many qualifications to become a postman, but this tosser is giving his workmates a bad name.
4
So this Smith bloke is a postman? I seem to remember a story about a postman who was fucking somebody’s letterbox (a real letterbox, not some peaceful slag) because it was just the right size for his cock. It’s not the same cunt is it?
5
if it was the pepper spray would be just the thing for the home owner, the post men (and girls) around here must have rather large ones because they keep leaving me cards that their package is to large to fit in the box
4
Lmfao! Must have been funny when the cunt who lived there post!and saw that !fucking ell can you imagine (A) that said occupants were peacefulls lol welcome to britain(the dirty bastards!)
1
Stupid cunt. There, that’s the on-topic bit dealt with.
Now then. WE HAVE TO ERADICATE MOOSE LIMBS AND MARXISTS. That’s all. If you accomplish those two things, you achieve world peace and prosperity forevermore.
5
Well you’d certainly have 85% of the world’s problems solved if not the entirety.
3
Of course, referring to the previous thread, there are some people who would welcome a spurting cock through the letterbox. A Christmas bonus for both postman and customer. Perhaps you could go down the Post Office and arrange it?
Just thinking ahead.
2
Anyone who knows the town of Widnes would not find this story in the least bit odd.
3
🎶Your father is your brother 🎶
🎵Your sister is your mother 🎶
Etc. etc.
Oh yes.
Widnes, ( shudder )
2
You know Widnes well then, Jack?
😂😂
3
Jacks the mayor of widnes.
4
Afternoon MNC.
3
Afternoon Jack, i dont really know the place, drove past on way to other places.
Is it really that bad?
3
It’s quite grim MNC, keep driving.
3
Used to work there, many years ago.
Afternoon Bertie.
3
Evening Jack. At least you had the pleasure of returning home each day!
4
It’s true that there’s a cunt born every minute MM . I wonder how much emergency services’ time jackasses like these waste in the course of a year?
1
When I was 9 I had one of those Tomohawk bikes ( a small version of the chopper one which my older cunt of a cousin had). He’s worth a cunting by the way the workshy Liebour supporting nhs bleeding cunt. Anyway I thought what would happen if I jumped off the kerb at speed holding the brakes? It was a stupid cunt moment. I soared over the handlebars and landed in road as gracefully as Diane abbot snuffles two pound of fried chiggun. Still, life and learn the hard way I guess
7
I think someone should suggest to this shit for brains to jump into a bath full of acid for giggles. The brain dead wanker would probably do it.
2
Anyone called Steve Smith is a complete and utter shitcunt.
6
More annoying than this is those fuckwits who follow trends on social media, such as eating detergent tablets, or walking alongside their moving now-driverless cars to some brain-dead hip hop.
Bottom of the gene pool.
1