Sharleen Ndungu

A Concours cunting is badly needed for yet another weak as piss snowflake cunt, Sharleen Ndungu.

“Who the fuck is that?” I hear you ask. She’s another attention-seeking mong who is now apparently “traumatised for life” after being served a sausage roll with (shock horror) pork in it because she’s a vegan AKA an easily lead “look at how cutting edge I am” cunt.

To quote: A woman claims she started having heart palpitations and broke down in tears after being served a sausage roll that contained sausage. Sharleen Ndungu, 20, is vegan and she went to get a bite to eat at Greggs in Canterbury, Kent. But when she started eating it she realised the sausage roll contained real meat. She said: ‘I haven’t had meat in two years. My belly started hurting and my heart started going crazy. ‘I was panicking because that only happens when I consume meat – this doesn’t happen when I have other food. I’m traumatised for life now – I’m never going to Greggs again.’

Traumatised? My arse. Fucking dumb millennial cunt. Mountain out of a molehill syndrome just to gain paper articles and soshal meedja coverage. The people who have experienced real trauma are those who are scarred from war and genocide, not by going to Greggs and expecting them to pander to the demands of an over-entitled Twattermong.

Fuck off.

Nominated by TwatVarnish

116 thoughts on “Sharleen Ndungu

  1. Ugly fucking chav piece of trash who’s immo Dad obviously hung around long enough to give her that surname. Haven’t the no win, no fee parasites got hold of her yet…….. there must be some compo in this surely?
    Anyway Greggs are a bunch of remoaning cunts so they deserve each other. Fuck ‘em.

  2. Spot on cunting TwatVarnish.
    Surely if you’re a commited vegan you would never visit any place that served animal products because of possible cross contamination and just in general to not support a company that promotes meat products. After all veganism is a total lifestyle rather than just a diet change.
    So Sharleen my bullshiting little friend I suggest you take your fake outrage and obvious compensation claim and FUCK Off you daft looking stupid haired CUNT

  3. Have pity on the poor bint -unlike her sistas she can’t hang around the chiggun shop enjoying her daily family bucket. David Lammy will probably take up her case, I am sure he is getting worked up with faux outrage as we write.

    • I read that as: “David Lammy will probably take her up the arse.”
      Still half asleep, not had me coffee and porridge yet…

      • Not completely out of the question RTC looking at Lammy – you know the typical Labour MP – social justice and bum fun.

    • Lmfao!david lammy /hes never off the fucking box/how long till he steps in&makes a press statement .

  4. A complete Cunt. I would like to force feed her pig shite. This country is full of weedy tosspots who need a rocket up their arses.

    • Ah the good old canterbury ndungheaps, fine old family!
      Shame for her,real meat in sausage roll!
      Well last time i tried a greggs sausage roll didnt taste like real meat, tasted like shite!
      “Quick sharleen! Swill your mouth with this! Oh sorry thats bleach!”
      Both sharlene and Greggs brlow par food can kiss my alabaster arse and get fucked!

  5. The Ndungu tribe are a surviving enclave located in rural Nigeria. They traditionally live off boiled grubs, roasted rodents and occasionally revert to cannibalism when insect and rodents are difficult to forage.

    All washed down with copious quantities of buffalo piss, of course.

    Keep this in perspective, Sharleen when you whinge about a sanitised sausage roll and what choices your African family has at their disposal, you fucking arse.

    • I bet she doesn’t mind sucking cock or having 16″ of meat rammed up her holes when the tart is pissed out of her mind on a Friday night!

      • No cunt in the world would .thats the only sausage shes getting /for all the good it did she d have done better shoving it up her cunt

  6. Reminds me of those cunts who order food in restaurants and either complain that the chips are cold, or the meat isn’t cooked or they found a dead badger hiding under their onions!

    And then you have the token picture of said family looking very unhappy while pointing at offending item, and telling the social meeja world that their lives will never the same again, and poor Johnny has PTSD, and boo fucking hoo!

    • Best complaint I have ever heard was a woman in a garden centre complaining that the plants were wet.

  7. I can’t see what Mizzz Ndungu’s moaning about,it’s probably the only chance that she’s got of getting a sausage down her throat….although,tbf, she does have the look of a lezza so perhaps she should have got an out-of-date,rancid fish taco to remind her of eating out her girlfriend.

    Kick the moaning Bag in the cunt.

    I like Greggs…apart from the staff and customers.

    • Cant be doing with fancy dining like Greggs, they dont sell pies,bakers that dont sell pies?
      Just pasties? Well im not on a diet kid
      We have a bakers called Ainsworths bit think theyre just in the North west, fucking magic!!
      Fairly cheap and everything is top notch, from the bread.cakes, sharleens favourite sausage rolls to the pies,
      If the miserables renew theyre wedding vows, ill use them as the caterers!

      • If Ainsley’s (Leeds) are still going, their Ginger Buns are a delicacy. A real, dark Parkin colour (not Stanley-related…).

      • I was in Jock Land once and there was this bakery chain with a sign that said “…one of Britain’s better bakeries”

        Are you the best or not? Fucking soft as shite pussies, Fuck off yer big Jessies

    • I genuinely wonder why so many of these veggie/vegan types become such hysterical,holier-than-thou,pains-in-the arse. They are like spoiled brats having a tantrum if everyone doesn’t go along with their simplistic views…..this particular one is a student,so no doubt considers herself really clever….how often they prove themselves to be the very opposite.

      • Perhaps the next time I go to a steakhouse and they garnish my 12oz sirloin steak with salad I should kick up a fuss and go into faux drama that I have been served salad on my plate being a strict meat-eater!

        Or better still wouldn’t it be nice if a protesting group of meat eaters entered a vegan restaurant and protested rather loudly that “you’re all a bunch of plant killers, depriving animals of their food and therefore killing the planet!!”

      • I saw that some bloke sparked one of the Cunts out when they interrupted his meal the other week..the report said that it was a woman who got K,Oed,but,tbh,the “men” and women seemed to all look pretty much the same…pasty,scruffy,weedy,but most of all angry..it seems that they believe that only one view counts and that their intolerance and deluded sense of their own importance gives them the right to act like Cunts.
        Veggies/ vegans are welcome to their own opinion and life-style choice,but they really shouldn’t try to force their beliefs onto everyone else.

      • But surely these creatures are duty bound to force their ideas on the rest of us because they know that , being superior persons,our views count for fuck all. They are only trying to help us so please stop being so ungrateful.

      • I delight in telling veggies & vegans that tomatoes, the fruits/vegetables they consume the most, are carnivorous.
        (The tomato plant has evolved sticky hairs on its stem to trap small insects, which die (the horror!) and fall to the ground, where eventually the plant absorbs their animal goodness through its roots.)
        Usually there’s a look of horror as this information seeps into their addled, meat-free brains!

      • I was at university with one in the early 80s, who eventually admitted she was only vegetarian to get attention. A great shame, as she was like Brigitte Bardot, only black-haired… She could have had loads of attention without the sprout-sucking crap. Lots of high percentage meaty sausage attention.

    • Greggs kind of works as an H G Wells themed adventure park.

      “Enjoy lunch on The Island of Dr Moreau…”

  8. I find something amiss,
    When I was a kid in Kano we would get meat from the UK (You dont want to eat the local stuff) and sometimes we would give the old stuff from the freezer to the steward (a follower of a certain belief) At no point did he ever say “You cunts you poisoned me, those were pork and leek sausages” because he had no idea what pork is.
    So how the fuck did mrs cry on social media know it was a reel sausage in her sausage roll, I have to say having tried one myself I had to go by the label in identifying the primary contents, so bitch how do you know what pork tastes like?

  9. If She has found real meat in a Greggs Sausage Roll She doesn’t want to moan She needs to phone The Guinness Book of Records Greggs massed produced rubbish doesn’t contain meat only fat Bet the ugly slag loves sucking cock bet that doesn’t traumatise her stupid bitch

  10. I have a cold and I’m tired and I have to go into the office where the Uber cunts live.

    I don’t care about this kind of self indulgent cunt in my best day. Fuck off you fucking cunt student of cuntishness.

    Sharleen, yeah it figures. Traumatised for life? You wait till you’ve live a few years longer if you think a sausage roll is traumatic.

  11. I have no sympathy for the vegan test whatsoever but I would like to point out the rules of Gregg’s, you always check your food carefully because 9 times out of 10 the fucking regards behind the counter fuck up your order, same as Me D,s KFC, Burger King and all the other fast food restaurants who employ staff on min wage and long hours, these people don’t give a flying fuck if you don’t get what you asked for, so more fool the stupid vegan tart for not checking,,,,YOU ALWAYS CHECK you dosey….. cunt

  12. There is a reason why sausage rolls are referred to as rat coffins in this country. I eat them out of nessessity as they are from outside suppliers and not the product of the dog ‘n cat Burmese greasy spoon near my work. Probably the dog n’ cat™ Cantonese factory down the road. One must have standards.

    • Who can resist all the worst bits of a hog, ground up, caked in salt then shoved inside heart-stopping, greasy pastry?

      Any discerning person with common sense. Sausage rolls are foul things.

  13. This ho has never had meat in its gob before?

    I find that very hard to believe.

  14. I fear for the next “sausage” she handles – with those huge green talons… Mate of mine ended up with a X for a jap’s eye when his old man was “handled” by a similarly equipped lady.

    • I wish you’d put ‘old man’ in quotes. I thought you meant his father had been manhandled! Nice!

  15. What a fucking hopeless thick- as- pig- shit snownmong. She makes Lilly Mong look like Einstein. Surely the clue is the name – sausage roll! Duhhh!,

    Cunt.

  16. i had exactly the same reaction when I didn’t have a shag for a couple of months, belly hurt, heart racing, my meat being consumed !

  17. In other news:

    The NHS has opened a clinic for “young people addicted to video games”….

  18. In a just world, she would have called DCI Cunt, who would have whisked her at 100mph, blue lights and sirens going, to the nearest A&E with a euthanasia specialist.
    I for one would not grudge her (it is a her?) the cost of the procedure. Any other outcome would leave her suffering PTSD for the rest of her life, poor thing.
    #meattoo

    Bet she is of Nigerian origin.

  19. “I haven’t had meat for 2 years”……. 2 fucking years! I haven’t had Christmas pudding since last Christmas, I better be really careful eating it this year in case my belly starts hurting and I get heart palpitations.

    What a fucking mong, I bet she made sure she posted this all over social media to get her dopey boat race everywhere, instead of just complaining directly to Gregg’s like normal people would.

    Fucking retard.

    She did, she got a refund, an apology and I believe they offered her a £30 voucher (which will probably feed you for a month on Greggs prices) However she has preferred to make a spectical of herself on social media.

  20. I’ve just read more in to this, she said she refused a £30 voucher as she wanted a public apology. She also says that people may be allergic to pork (I have never heard anyone to be allergic to pork), she says she doesn’t eat meat by choice, because it causes cancer………fucking hell, what a dick head.

  21. I know of a vegan friend who refuses to have sex at the risk of being pregnant, because she believes spunk contains meat in its dna (don’t ask because I really don’t know!) Therefore she doesn’t want her body to ingest any kind of meat byproduct.

    So with that kind of logic vegans will end up a dying breed if they don’t want to share bodily fluids in case it contains meat!

      • They don’t mind being full of bullshit though.

        Morning Technocunt, Miserable. Enjoying your break Miserable?

      • Loving it cheers LL, all shops are shut mondays, its rained continuously till today, no one for miles..
        Im in heaven!!!😁

  22. I’ve just googled the oxygen thief. More hits than the Institute for Global Blair’s latest “all editors, please copy” sermon on Brexit. From the NY Post to the Auchtermuchty Examiner.

    How to be famous without a single positive quality….

    • I read “Auchtermuchty Exterminator” ; I must subscribe…
      Maybe it’s Lord Fiddler’s (Highlands & Islands) Enterprises…

      • I think you are confusing the dear old Examiner with the Alnwick Exterminator. Fiddler Global ™ only extends north of the Border at night. When the household requires prime lamb or beef.

    • She’ll probably get a knighthood for services to thick umbongo cunts; she’ll write an autobiography (10 pages with big pictures and 30 words); will travel the world (only the good civilised bits of course) telling everyone of her trauma (thus pissing off Greta of Cuntberg); there will be a TV series, followed by a Hollywood movie with a blacked-up Emma Watson walking into a Greggs, ordering a sausage roll and going into seizure etc. (Emma is allowed to play a dark key because she is a famous #metoo feminist and therefore different rules apply)

      Coming to a cinema near you soon!

  23. What happened to those vegan fuckwitts who were crying about the new £5 note because it contained animal products?
    Found some other way of drawing attention to themselves I presume. Wankers.

    • Anyone worried about animal fats contained in £5notes can have them sent to me for checking, just to be on safeside at..
      Miserables
      Countrycottagefund.co.uk

  24. OMG…..just realised that the roast pork and trimmings that I enjoyed last weekend may have contained meat.

    I feel terrible that some pig died for my enjoyment.

    I must be a cunt.

  25. Am surprised she hasn’t used the Race Card!

    In her tiny mind she’ll probably say “Greggs gave me that naughty sausage rolls cus I is black, innit!”

    She’ll also use the R card when she realises how much ridicule/hate she’s now getting for being a thick, entitled victim!

  26. Greggs ( Born in Gosforth ) has always been shite. ( with the exception perhaps of the much loved ( now gone ) mince pie )

    As posted earlier by GWB, if you can find meat in a Greggs product, count yourself fucking lucky.

  27. Well in the court of hurt feelings, this one will no doubt be after a bit of trauma compo.

    And that’s basically it, isn’t it, at the end of the day.

    Dopamine hits from (anti) social media from all of the “I’m so sorry for you!” brigade and compo, compo which Gregg’s are likely to cough up – more shame to them!

    If cunts want to be vegetarian or vegan then fine but why do you crave products which are essentially within the meat domain?

    You’re keen to lord it over us carnosaurs from your moral high ground but in the next breath rejoice in telling us how much Linda McCartney’s burgers/mince/sausages taste “just like the real thing”. Isn’t that because privately you still enjoy the taste/texture of meat!?!

    Some folk are vegetarian/vegan through health reasons, others through conscience and they tend to be the ones who eat vegetable based meals that look like vegetables and don’t have a fucking great chip on their shoulder!

    It’s the nouveau “vegans” who are the cunts, and let’s face it, they’re only vegan because of the FaceTwat likes they crave and is the only way their sad wickle lives will ever get noticed.

    I once ordered a steak and had the option of either home cooked chips or boiled potatoes, peas and onion rings or fresh salad.

    Imagine my trauma when my steak rocked up with fucking SALAD on it! Oh the humanity! I nearly fainted!

    Get fucked!

    Cunts!

    • Having been a victim of one, I can assure you that a Linda Mccartney sausage does not taste anything like a sausage, However in their defence they do make good as turkey stuffing (add chopped turkey liver to mix)

      • I once had one (never again) and see where you’re coming from. But fresh sage and onion and breadcrumbs are far better IMO.

      • M,lord surprised to learn that there is enough left of the sainted Linda to make sausages from.
        Must say this drink yourself to cuntdom challenge is fucking great.

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