Airline Adverts

Obviously created by people who have never actually been on a plane in their lives.

They’ve never had the hassle of getting to the airport hours before the flights, queuing to get through security, taking off your shoes and belt, immigration and customs, which in some places literally takes hours, being fleeced by the cafes and restaurants in the departure area, logging on beforehand to try and get a seat beside your dearest so you can at least hold hands when the plane crashes. Ryanair, for example, deliberately separates couples so they can charge them for the pleasure of being squeezed together on seats that have as much space as a lavatory seat. “Food” that pigs would refuse and fellow passengers who are so uncouth they would have been thrown off galley slaves or Viking longboats. Don´t even think about the cramped stinking toilets where you bang your head trying to wipe your arse after voiding you bowels of the in-flight dysentery, i.e. “meal”.

Yet look at the adverts. Everyone has empty seats on either side, are relaxed because the weather is great, no turbulence or crying babies and they are surrounded by a harem of stewardesses wearing nothing underneath their uniforms who are just waiting to introduce them to the pleasures of the four-mile high club.

Nominated by Mr Polly

76 thoughts on “Airline Adverts

  1. Etihad Airlines! Abu Dhabi-Jakarta. Filled with smelly goat herders, many not even wearing shoes. Obviously most of them hadn’t even seen a fucking airplane, let alone get on one. No idea how to use the toilet, as I walked by and see this 90 year old guy straining to drop the kids off at the pool with the door open. Went for a piss, only to find some mad mulla’s asshole had exploded! I kid you not, there was liquid shit everywhere! Even on the fucking mirror. Then he waddled back to his seat with his Dish Dash and feet smeared in it, and sits down as if he’s royalty!

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