These people are supposed to be our future leaders, our future scientists, our future teachers…….so if that’s the case humanity is fucked. I was born in the 80’s, so I’m not greatly older than these snowflake, retarded, lazy fuckabouts, but I pride myself on using correct grammar, spelling and real words (apart from fuckabouts). Some examples of millennial speak really do leave you scratching your head, especially when we already had suitable terms, phrases or words in the first place. Anyway, here goes.
Netflix and chill – for a long time I didn’t know what this meant, until my other half, who has Facebook, explained it means to put a TV programme on, that you’re not intending to watch, and then fool around.
Woke – I don’t know why I hate this one so much, but this one really gets me. It’s not about being literally awake. But to have some sort of epiphany. Like all of a sudden you realise some people are gay or Jewish. Maybe it’s because I like the word epiphany and they’ve replaced it with a less attractive word and taken ‘up’ off of the end to make a legible term.
Salty – means you’re angry.
Basic – term for someone who has middle of the road opinions, or sedate style. They use it as some kind of insult, funny how they dislike someone for being ‘basic’ but if you have right wing opinions they dislike you too.
Bae – stands for ‘before anyone else’. Awwww, makes you sound a right cunt when you say it though. I personally think they were too lazy to say babe, which I also hate, it was too long so they removed a letter.
“LB/FB” – like back / follow back, it’s to do with social media so I despise it.
Quiche – means someone is really attractive………no it’s a pastry based eggy flan, fucking idiots.
Lit – means a party is really good or some shit.
Adulting – something they will never do, term for doing grown up stuff. This doesn’t need to be a term, because it’s the default for nearly everyone. The term is instead for not being an adult, fucking ‘grow up’.
I’m losing the will to live so I’ll stop there, but believe me there’s a lot more. Homework is to go away and look up ‘goals AF’. I couldn’t even bring myself to explain that one.
I hope this proves that the future is for cunts and we’re all doomed.
Nominated by elboobio
Millennial’s. Now you would think they have properly been cunted, probably not enough and in the wrong place in my opinion.
Just to make things clear I had a shit childhood, a rather shitty career and honestly admit to myself that reproduction would be a mistake, I have walked out of two wars and some of the things I had to do disgust me ( now I am on the normal level)
Any way I have been step dad twice! Yep unlike some of you cunts I have 4 suregate children 2 nephews and 2 god sons (lets not go there)
Well Mrs B’s son (youngest) went AWOL after mrs B’s husband chose to fuck off (convenient for me) her well educated children went to uni, I have to say despite the lack of interest from their father they have done well…. except on communication.
One of their friends, another high flyer manged through the world of modern communication to release a delayed suicide note and film (yes its fucking grim)
Anyway as you can imagine Mrs B is more than worried about her children. Child 1 has done well ( If living with an eco vegan could be considered so). Child two decided to go on an information black out, they failed their first course, maybe even their second, so Mrs B and I decided to have a look, now take this into account I scaled a 3 story building with a fucked leg to look through a velux! I am almost 50! i should not be doing this shit!
So mrs B went down in force on her own ( trust me its for the best) and gets admission into the flat, checks his computer and finds suicide sites on it, as you can imagine this creates some issues, she passes out; the land lady calls me as the in case of emergency call me number. ( excuse me the dog has farted)
I end up thundering up the M3 with a game plan in place, I have already called the local plod asking about random stiffs of a certain age ethnicity and size, then get an ok call from Mrs B fucking twat has turned up alive! Hence me being turned round to prevent the eventual clash of personality’s
Fuck sake kids, when I did Granby I told my family I was a radio operator. When I was in the balkans I was a medic fuck sake.
Nominated by lord benny