Bond 25

The latest Bond film must be nominated. I stopped watching these ages ago anyway as they were a load of boring shite, but have a look at this: Bond 25 is said to introduce a female version of the spy.

According to reports, British actor Lashana Lynch will be introduced as the new 007 in the next instalment in what is being described as a “pivotal” scene. She’ll be tasked with tracking Daniel Craig’s character and bringing him out of retirement for a new mission.
There is a pivotal scene at the start of the film where M says, ‘Come in 007,’ and in walks Lashana who is black, beautiful and a woman.

According to an insider, “It’s a popcorn-dropping moment. Bond is still Bond but he’s been replaced as 007 by this stunning woman.”

The reports suggest that Bond will try to seduce the female Bond, who will resist his advances. (Really? Who’d have thought it? Bond 25 has been co-written by Fleabag’s Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

Says it all really.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

99 thoughts on “Bond 25

  1. Product placement being what it is I strongly suspect that a tampon manufacturer is behind this obvious dross-for-the-proles.

  2. With the fad of things being remade nowadays, whatever happens, there will be the other films to look back on and watch, so I’m not too fussed.

    Some Bond films I love, some I don’t.

    I’m waiting for a time when they make a spy film with an animal as the protagonist.

    “Tkk tkk tkk”

    “What’s that Skippy?”

    Tkk tkk tkk”

    “Ah! Your names Bond, Skippy Bond. Licensed to help people whom are in danger. Kids trapped down wells etc”

    • In case you hadn’t noticed, there’s a sub-primate Bond in this film.

      And let us not forget Danger Mouse.

    • They hadn’t done much training with skippy, it was just basic food conditioning camera angles and retakes.

      When they were filming one episode, Skippy hopped off stage left and was immediately speared by a black fella lurking nearby.

      No problem they just got another from the local wildlife shelter and kept going.

      Not many people know this

  3. I’ve never been into James Bond films, they all follow the same plot anyway. It’s like Dr Who another “British Institution” which has gone on far too long.

  4. Any truth in the rumour that there will also be a recreation of ‘Spectre’s’ opening scenes with the Day of the dead parade being replaced with a Gay pride one?

  5. I am all for women in Bond films…
    If they are real women like Ursula Andress, Maud Adams, Jill St John, Diana Rigg, Britt Ekland, Barbara Bach, Tanya Roberts, Sophie Marceau…

    Phoebe Waller Cunt can fuck right off, the smug self satisfied misandrist minger….

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