Self assumed Indestructible Bike Riders

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Self assumed Indestructible Bike Riders are cunts.

Chris Froome being the latest. Blowing a nose at 40 mph to go straight into a wall.

Second best.

If these cunts can’t wake up to the fact Lycra does not make them a superhero, we should not be showered with the shit from the media once they hit the wall, get run over by a turning lorrie or skid off a cliff. Fuck off.

nominated by King cunt

 

76 thoughts on “Self assumed Indestructible Bike Riders”

  1. This could be extended to include self assumed indestructible phone mongs who imagine the rest of the world will take care of them when they are fixated on their adult dummies. Twats.

      • I was with the disputes staffers all the way through until towards the end when the emotional music stated then one after another they detailed the mental and emotional strain and ‘I signed off sick’ ‘I had a breakdown’ and last but not least ‘ I was suicidal’. Kind of undermined it for me.

      • I sometimes feel suicidal after reading certain comments on ISAC, but don’t feel it appropriate to broadcast the fact.

      • I agreed with the fella who suggested that Corbyn make a major speech on the issue; defining what is legitimate criticism of Israel (with examples) and then what is simply hate speech or antisemitism. With examples.
        Worryingly his suggestion was laughed at. But to save his leadership and indeed maybe even the Labour Party itself that is what Corbyn needs to do.
        For the most part I thought the programme was damning.

      • Corbyn’s a busted flush whatever he does now. Besides, as CMC put it, he’s never been more than an “overpromoted nonentity”. His antisemitism being the cherry on top.

        The Party will probably survive, once they dock the hard/loony-left tail wagging the moderate Labour dog.

      • Never, in the field of human endeavour, has a cunting been hijacked so early and by so many. Shame!

      • Bullshit.

        Most of the comments that make up this thread were left 2 – 4 hours after the nom opened. If we count your contribution Bsc, 6 hours.

        Be seeing you 🙂

    • Not so much. As some poor cunt found out recently, if a phone Mong steps out in front of you whilst they have the face stuck in their phone you’ll be liable. Just how much liability you have a judge will tell you.

      Some cunt on a push bike just learned this to his cost, despite multiple witnesses saying he did all he could to avoid the mong.

      Driving using a phone makes you a cunt but apparently walking into traffic because you were focused on your phone makes you a victim.

      • If some cunt walks out in front of me whilst they’re on the phone I am simply going to run the fucker over. If I’m likely to get penalised for something that isn’t remotely my fault I’m going to make sure the bastard gets a reminder of the incident in the form of broken bones and, perhaps, a future inability to walk or have a wank. I really hope somebody walks in front of this judge’s car in the near future.

      • So what if you’ve got a dashcam that records the whole incident. Is that inadmissible in court now? If so then why bother having any form of witness method if the judge is just going to side with the Mong anyway!

  2. I fucking love the Tour de France, you can’t beat it. First of all we stick it to the Frenchies year after year and they fucking hate it.
    Then there’s always the prospect of a massive crash, particularly in a sprint finish about 50 yards from the line. What’s better than seeing a load of flash foreign cunts sliding down the road on their arses?
    Well, quite a lot really but none of it is legal.

  3. “Self-assumed indestructable”..just about sums them up.

    A timber-wagon driver was telling me the other night about meeting a group of them while coming,fully-loaded,down a long hill on a single-track road. Apparently he’d seen them at the bottom of the hill and given a couple of blips on the air-horns to warn them that he was coming down, most of them had taken the hint,dismounted and got into the side. Two hadn’t. They continued wobbling their way up the bank as as the artic. came down,eventually the driver had to stand on the brakes and come to a juddering stop as the two push-bikers were forced to admit that the road was too narrow and dismounted to push their bikes past the rig. I’d have gone fucking mental.but the driver had apparently just sat and shaken his head at them. Give the rest of the bunch their dues,they’d flagged the driver down at the bottom of the hill and apologised for their two companions’ actions.

    How fucking stupid must you be to take on a fully-loaded artic dressed only in lycra and with a helmet modelled on a bell-end perched on your head?

    Fuck them.

    • It’s not stupidity, Dick, it’s an air of self-righteous, holier-than-thou, ‘I’ve got as much right to be on this road as you have’ smugness from the cunts.

      • And guess what. They have.

        I’m sure the artic drive was driving to the speed limit, the condition of the road etc and taking all necessary precautions whilst in charge of many tonnes of motorised vehicle.

      • Not really a case of who has the “right” to be on the road. More a case of using some common sense. Having the “right” to be there won’t be much use to them if they’re flattened. A sense of entitlement isn’t much protection against a wagon.

        Anyhow,, why the fuck not just pull over and let the wagon through?

      • Even in a car I will always let something bigger through, up- or downhill, Downhill I’m aware they have real problems with slowing or stopping, and uphill I know that the last thing they want to do is lose momentum. It makes very little difference to me as a car driver and I’m never in so much of a rush that I can’t afford to wait 30 seconds.

    • Met an overgrown toddler pavement cyclist tonight; told him to get on the fucking road. Wankstain just giggled. I pulled out my old service Luger Parabellum and nudged his headstuffing onto the nearest shopfront. Cuuuuunt.

  4. I fucking hate these cunts. In my youth I was a caff cook and a bunch of late middle aged middle class cunts in lycra after their 2km ride would come in for a full English breakfast. The horrible sight to staff of ancient flabby pink flesh trussed up like the last pork shoulder in the shop still gives me nightmares, even though I’m as fat and old now.

  5. Fucking self-righteous, arrogant cunts to a man and woman. Riding two or three abreast, queues of traffic behind their sweaty arses and what nearly gives me a fucking stroke is when these cunts are cycling next to a fucking cycle path. I’ve been in the emergency services for twenty five years and I’ve only been to a small handful of incidents involving a cyclist where they weren’t in some part to blame by acting the cunt.

    • Nearly anyone on a bike is a cunt in my book! Not least kids who have no awareness for their own safety, but just cycle all over the fucking road expecting everyone else to give way!

      Bunch of cunts

      • A Smear of Cunts?
        A Dribble of Cunts (if there’s only a few of them)?
        A Stench of Cunts?

        Perhaps I’m thinking of the wrong sort…

      • A miasma (an oppressive or unpleasant atmosphere which surrounds or emanates from something) of cunts

  6. I actually had one of these holier-than-thou cunts go straight through a red traffic light into the side of my ambulance. I kid you fucking not!

    • Has your service been supplied with strengthened equipment for the obese? I saw a programme where some gross tub of lard needed a special wheelchair and ambulance to transport it to the hospital.
      I’d have left it to starve until it could get there under it’s own steam.

      • The majority of our stretchers are bariatric stretchers and we have access to a bariatric ambulance. Fire brigade are handy for removing the fat cunts from their premises, too!

      • I have a few bariatric patients. A total drain on the NHS. Ulcerated fat fluid filled legs, diabetes, ulcers in every fold of skin, oxygen masks so they don’t die when they sleep, special expensive equipment like beds and mattresses. Not to mention the injury risks to the carers trying to wash and move them. But the real pisser is the attitude that it’s all everyone else’s fault they are like that, not theirs. And there seems to be more of them year on year. And almost all of them live with mummy, quietly feeding them when noone is watching. In China they’d have been harpooned by now.

      • I should be illegal to overfeed these fat bastards, like pubs refusing drunk customers – you’ve had enough mate.

      • Are you never just tempted to tell them the truth? I don’t think that I’d be able to stop myself from telling them that they are selfish,revolting slugs who only have themselves to blame.

      • No Mr Fiddler. The NHS is there for everyone, especially those who are slowly destroying it with their lifestyle choices. And yes, twice I’ve had to give them a reality check. I don’t think they heard me with Jeremy Kyle loudly on TV in their living room.

      • You have to realise that these people have a glandular problem! They need love and understanding or preferably a giant staple across their mouths.

  7. Red light jumping cunts. I give them loads of verbal and one finger salutes.

    Labour is fucked.
    Good.

    Neo Marxist Jew hating cunts.

    Corbyn is the most dangerous man in the UK and Lammy is the ugliest

    Mammy! Ole man river.

    Pass da dutchie pon da left hand side.

  8. Yeah the tour de France is on at the moment. And the British Gran Prix this weekend. The men’s tennis final at Wimbledon. The cricket. What an exciting weekend of top quality sport we have in store. The opening of Netball World Cup.

    • I’d have watched the women’s final in the tennis. Simona Halep is just my type,but it’s hard to have a decent wank when the screen keeps switching to Guy the Gorilla on the other side of the net. Imagine the shame of blowing your load just as a shot of that angry Silverback appeared on the screen.

      • I suppose if the Gorilla in the Mist should lose, she’ll resort to the usual tantrums, and probably lob a few VS cards on the way.

        And i dare anyone wanting to sniff her panties after a sweaty tennis match!

      • Technocunt you have just managed to plumb new depths for this site. I am in a foul mood this morning as I have recently awoken from a dream where I used the term ‘gender neutral ‘. I see no hope for myself and intend to head north and throw myself at the hounds of DF after smearing my crotch with liver pate.
        Farewell to you all

      • I can see your difficulty there Mr F. A difficult one….the only thing I can suggest is to ready yourself until it’s Halep’s serve- then go for it furiously concentrating on her frilly-knickered arse while the camera is on it. I know it’s not a complete answer but I hope that helps.

  9. Good morning cunters just had a early bird beer and a few shots of wine after my usual coffee and a shit

    God said man should not slave on the Sabbath an I agree get drunk lounge on the couch and fuck Saturdays responsibilities Don’t work or buy anything today or th3e good lord will curse you amen. Also don’t gather firewood you fucking artisan i’ll do a little bit of work today while the lords not looking type cunts

  10. Fucking hate cyclists. They go where the fuck they want ringing their bell expecting everyone to clear a path for the noble two-wheeled sons of god like they’ve a divine right for pedestrians on a footpath or cars turning left to accommodate their rights to cycle exactly where they please at their own speed whenever the fuck they want.

    There’s some cunt or group of cunts laying booby traps on peak district paths to try and decapitate these fuckers and deserve queens honours for public service. Fuck cyclists if you’re not on a cycle path or on the left side of the road then get the fuck off and push.

    Additional cunting for the Edinburgh council who have started building cycle paths in the MIDDLE of the pavement I shit you not. They have mini zebra crossings at places where pedestrians are ALLOWED to cross from one side of the pavement to the other proof the cunts that design these ridiculously stupid anti-pedestrian abominations probably never deigns to actually mix with the proles who walk the streets preferring to get about in the comfort of their chauffer driven cars. Wankers.

  11. Well thank you King Cunt, you’ve just got me going on the cuntiest cunts in whole cuntiverse (incorporating all other alternate dimensional cuntiverses yet to be discovered/theorised).

    I wouldn’t be in the least bit surprised if some Darth cunt decided to let these megacunts on motorways one day.

    A pushbike is not a motorbike. Pretty simple thing to grasp, and I suspect there are as yet undiscovered tribes in the amazon who understand this.

    But try telling this to a typical anally retentive, closet gay (sorry, overcompensating closet gay) , lycra constricted, vacuous, “virtue signalling”, vegan, employed in some desperately important planet saving non “job”, eco brainwashed, too often incapable of growing old with any modicum of dignity, hypercunt.

    Why Blackadder it’s as pointless as trying to explain to a woman the value of a good forward defensive stroke.

    They think they are loaded with testosterone. They are even less capable of understanding the difference between that and cuntosterone.

    CUNTS!!!!!!!!!!

  12. Any cunt still tooling about on a pedal bike after their 16th birthday needs to have a serious word with himself.

  13. Steptoe rides a bike doesn’t he?
    A dangerous pastime in Londonistan. Wouldn’t it be a shame if…………..

    • Corbyn is a hippie he thinks cars are too dangerous and he rides his bike to conserve on greenhouse gases and to boycott oil pollution but he somehow feels safe eating out diane abbots fat arse

    • So does fat arse Boris Johnson, if we could get him and Steptoe on a tandem in a bus lane, two deaths for the price of one

  14. Now we have the warmer weather, I keep seeing cunts on motor scooters or even powerful motorcycles dressed only in tee-shirts, shorts and flip-flops, but they are wearing crash helmets though.
    Keep their head intact but don’t worry about getting flayed alive if they come off!

    • As a biker myself, I see this all the time; and it always make me laugh when they have an accident and shed a shitload of exposed skin down the road.

      Of course their excuse is “I was only going up the road for a couple of minutes!”

      Admittedly it can get rather sweaty wearing leathers or textiles, but I’d rather have sweaty pits than spending years undergoing plastic surgery and shit because I couldn’t be bothered to wear either.

      • As a biker,can you explain to me why so many of the bikes that I hear going up the valley seem to be badly tuned these days? I hear them back-firing as soon as the revs go on or off. It’s not just one,it seems to be a few of them. I had a LC350 RD years ago,and I’d have been straight off to get it properly tuned if it farted on the way that many seem to these days.

      • A number of reasons really. One, is some owners replace the stock mufflers or exhausts with high-performance ones – that throw out a few more horses but ramp up the decibel levels considerably.

        Or some exhausts/mufflers/silencers have rusty holes, which again turns them into loud annoying things.

        And then you have the Harley crowd!!

      • Aftermarket exhausts badly fitted by wannabe Power Rangers, that upset the engine management and let air into the system causing all sorts of pops and backfires.

      • Dick, they joy to be had on a big twin or four with open pipes, close the throttle let it glide into over run in Bradford and watch the pedestrians flee in terror.

      • Backfiring on the overrun seems to be a desirable thing among some riders, fuck knows why. Some adjust the ECM to achieve this. It might be fun when overtaking pushbikers, I suppose.

        I preach but do not practice the dictum that if it’s making a lot of noise, it’s wasting energy. My stock exhausts are quite loud enough to act as an alarm clock for Mrs over-the-road in the morning. She tells me it’s quite reassuring…

    • Utter cunts. But when I was very young, stupid and couldn’t afford leathers, I found it very pleasant on a hot day. Nowadays, I am hoping for someone I dislike at work to reappear after a long absence, with multiple skin grafts.
      (I always wear leathers now. Sweating in the summer is a small price to pay for justified smugness)

      • Dunno, my last bike was a 1340 evo with 2 inch open pipes, sounded wonderful.

        As for what people wear when they ride, it’s up to them, long as you’re aware of the risks associated with the gear you ride in, if you’re not you probably want to find out before you get back on a bike.

        Me, I mostly wore jeans, boots and an MA1 jacket. Medics call bikers organ donors for a reason. I dated a paramedic for a while and she said they called the race leathers lots of sports bikes owners wear organ bags.

        Even the best gear is only really effective in a slide, if you start encountering solids like barriers, cars or get run over by an artic during your slide it’s all down to luck as to what’s left at the end.

        Let those who ride decide

      • Open face lid, leather jacket and very old leather gauntlets, jeans and work boots for the past 40 years.
        Don’t ride sportsbikes but have serviced/repaired loads. The riding position gives me backache…

  15. The only positive about cyclists are the young women riding around on a men’s bike, wearing short skirts, and if you’re lucky a quick glimpse of white knickers as they hoist their leg over the saddle!

    And then of course there’s the even pervier notion of sniffing the seat from a young attractive wench who has just dismounted, parked her bike up and gone into a shop.

    Other than that, they’re all selfish bastards that deserve to be knocked off not only their bikes but their fucking high horses

  16. Anyone who mounts a bike with a razor thin saddle up his ass, dressed like a fucking alien in Lycra with a knob shaped alien helmet on his head, deserves an accident.

    Cunts.

  17. There was a cycle ‘event’ near me recently, there must have been a thousand of the cunts. All day, a steady stream of Lycra clad cunts wobbling down the road in large packs, making getting about a pain in the arse. Two things occurred to me that day; cyclist cuntitude is exponential. If one cyclist is a cunt, ten cyclists are more like a cunt times a hundred. Secondly, of the hundreds of cyclists I saw that day, not one of them was smiling. You would think that doing something that you love would make you look happy, but every single one looked miserable as fuck. It’s all about the boast on strava, or some other form of social media. Cunts.

  18. Superb cunting. I fucking hate the lycra condom brigade with a passion. Usually it’s a bunch of middle management cunts in their “power” gear, riding 10 a breast on the road, arfing on about their latest business plans and mergers, whilst pissing off everyone else on the road. Fucking loathe them. It’s their sheer cunting arrogance that really steams my piss. If they want to ride along a grass track in the Kruger National Park at night, that would suit me fine. The vision of lions feasting on their bloodied arrogant arses with shredded lycra and twisted bike frames laying in the grass is comforting to me. Cunts plain as day. Fuck them all to the deepest caverns of hell.

  19. Some cunt near me rides a fucking unicycle to work, I see him stopping at the coffee shop where he is a minor celebrity and the craft beer ‘pop up’ on the way home where he knows everything about beer.

    Fucking neckbeard cunt will try and patronise me on day and i’ll Ram that fucking machine down his throat.

  20. Just read in the newspaper and heard on Al Beeb that a 35 year old cuntess had met her doom whilst riding an e-scooter (illeagal on roads) and being hit/or hit a 17 ton truck in Battersea Sarf Lundon.
    Er… why don’t I give a fuck.

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