I would like to nominate Just Eat and Deliveroo and the cunts who use them.
I prefer to actually visit a takeaway before I eat food from there, but a lot of the unwashed don’t seem to be able to muster the effort needed to put on something other than a tracksuit and bbq sauce-stained t shirt and waddle along their high street to a physical location to order food.
In a way it givens me a great sense of schadenfreude to know that certain idle benefit scroungers I’ve known use Deliveroo and regularly tuck into mouse shit, saliva, snot, dust and crud because they are too fucking idle to cook or walk to the kebab shop.
I hope they get an exotic parasite that is usually found in macaques that hang around ditch water, cunts.
Fuck me you were on the sauce when you wrote that.
Nominated by Cuntamus Prime
I read some cunt ordered a cup of tea and a slice of toast to be delivered.
Fuck me.
11
Thats more common then you would think, My brother works for a delivery service like this. You’d be surprised how often these burnt cunts order a single item or two and pay up the arse for the delivery fees and some of them still tip you even
9
I enjoy watching those programmes about the morbidly obese ( y’know,the ones who always blame someone else for their disgusting state),and I’m always amazed by how much money they seem to have available for take-aways. Most of them are too lazy to even collect it,and have it delivered right into their piggy trotters. Surely these parasites should just be given vouchers for decent food (and fucking little of it) and not cash? Personally.I wouldn’t give them a penny,I’d use the money that is wasted on their health-care,rent and benefits to send them to one of those American style Fat-Farms..how I love those programmes…the sight of some 40 stone bucket of lard being forced to exercise…their bright red,moon-faces dripping with sweat,their waddling gait where their legs go out sideways and,best of all,the whining self-pity in their voices as they are forced to face the fact that they are not entitled cuckoos to whom everyone should pander.
Takeaways are fine in moderation,but people should remember that most takeaway workers will have suffered verbal abuse (probably from me) and are liable to have adulterated the food. That wouldn’t matter if it was just the Porkers who were getting it,they’ll happily swallow dog-shite if it comes in a barbeque sauce,but normal people will be caught up too.
My nearest takeaway is 20 odd miles away,so I must admit that it doesn’t really concern me,but it does amaze me just how the litter from these fucking places can make it’s way out to the verges near me. Who the Fuck comes all the way out to a National Park and decides to chuck their empty pizza-box out? Then the answer comes to me….fucking Townies,that’s who.
Fuck them.
25
Morning Mr Fiddler, I have seen they are to trial take away delivery drones in the coming years. A bit more target practice for you and the hounds other than trespassing ramblers.
8
Morning,LL.
I’d put a stop to those fucking drone things unless used in a professional capacity. Dangerous toys used by Peepers and busy-bodies. Plus the thought of giving our Peaceful friends an aerial bomb-delivery device is crazy.
18
If a drone is hovering over your own property airspace without permission surely you’re perfectly entitled to shoot the fucking thing down?
6
If I see one anywhere near me,I’ll blast it out the sky and worry about the legality of my actions later.
8
Apparently it’s illegal to shoot down a drone so perhaps it’s better to leave the drone alone and shoot the operator.
5
They’re cunts to eat when they’re full of No 6 shot, though.
2
They won’t last 5 fucking minutes in Cardiff; one sniff of a MuckyDoos and a few local gulls would take apart the delivery before it’s even attained required altitude…
I wrote a Henry Root style letter to the Gvnmnt’s Chief Medical Officer about the scourge that Deliverpoo &c. is, encouraging the morbidly obese to sit at home on their piss-infested sofas (although, on second thoughts, it’s probably best if they DO stay at home); I thought it necessary to point this out, given the continual stats we are fed re the cost to NHS of ever-increasing obesity.
Never had a reply.
I bet Flabbott has shares in these companies. They’d need a fleet of blimps to get her regular chiggun order up in the air.
5
If you haven’t already seen it, I’d recommend My 600lb Life. I’m having a marathon catch-up session this weekend. These fatties are American and at some point you will see them on the khazi and in the shower while some poor sod hoses them down. After telling their whiney little sob story and you getting to marvel at the sheer amount of food they ram down, they go on a road trip to Houston to consult the oddest little surgeon who clearly bought his diploma at the supermarket. Eventually he does bariatric surgery on them but not until he’s told them off a bit. You won’t see much exercise from them other than going for a walk (which exhausts them) or sitting in front of an exercise video flapping their bingo wings about. But you will see them cheating on their diet when it all becomes too much. It’s brilliant. I watch it with some chocolate and a smirk.
8
Where i live Mr fiddler they will not allow the fucking chinky or the indian takeaway anywhere near the town, they have to set up on the local business park, even costa (bomb) wanker coffee shop up sticks & fucked off because we would not let them expand their vile coffee empire, (good old cup of rosie does me fine) who the fuck would want that vile smelling shite permeating your fucking nostrils every time you walk up the high st! as for obese cunts … if it aint a medical problem then your a greedy fat cunt and should have your gob sewn up…
3
how I agree with you CP. When did people get so fucking lazy that they’d rather get food delivered by some poor cunt being paid a few quid an hour? And don’t get me started about the piss-poor standard of moped “riding” or the fact that these “gig” jobs are what bring all the immigrants to our shores.
Cunts.
13
Rarely bother with TAs these days; although I will admit there is a rather splendid Thai restaurant a few miles down the road, that does a delightful red Thai chicken curry and rice. Regrettably, however, they do not do a TA service.
But such takeaway indulgences are few and far between; plus there is no delivery service in my neck of the woods anyway. So if I do feel in the mood for a TA it’s a 9 mile trip in the car, which is another sufficient reason not to bother too often, preferring instead to cook my own recipes.
The other annoyance is the growing proliferation of TAs on the High Street – a week doesn’t go by without reading in the local news that one of the usual corporate FF suspects has put in a planning app to build a drive-through just down the fucking road (and will no doubt throw a few bungs in the direction of the council planning committee)
Always fascinates me how the benefit scrounger cunts always moan about “I can’t afford to make healthy meals” and yet can lash out £15 for a McDonald’s deathburger, fries and and associated entrails on a regular basis!
9
I can think of nothing worse than a piping hot turd upon an ordered pizza delivered to my door.
7
We all out working during the week, so wife orders a takeaway for her an the daughter on a Thursday evening (i dont eat foreign shite) the peaceful who deliveres it as the biggest fucking sandals on ive ever seen, im size13 boots, but these are massive like snowshoes or something?
Im fascinated by them! Quite happy for missus to order a takeaway so I can check out these massive jesus sandals!!
9
You have been blessed MNC, this must be Mohammed’s part time job, does he come on a flying magic carpet?
11
No mate a battered ford fiesta! But cant stress enough how big these things are! Bigfoot mystery solved!
Be this cunt in woods
5
Oh and he wears grey pyjamas as well,
Why do peacefuls think wearing jimjams is good workwear/suitable P.P.E ?
And what do they wear for bed? Riggerboots and hi vis?
9
I am reminded of the phrase, “you are what you eat”,which in this case is a concoction of curry sauce laced with tuberculous phlegm, dandruff , and cockroach faeces which have been mixed together with shitty fingers.
While I’m at it,why can’t they make the @ symbol lower case? It’s so irksome having to use the shift key every time you have to enter your email address.
7
You’ve just used the Shift key 5 times* for quotation marks and apostrophes but only once for @
*Maybe more if you’re on a computer which doesn’t automatically capitalise at the beginning of each sentence.
Your irking is working in the wrong direction.
3
I ate my wife’s cockbox last night, does that make me a cunt?
8
Last night we went out to eat at a fetishist’s restaurant.
Fuck me, never again.
The wife got toed in the hole….
16
When I see some fat lard weighing in at 56 stone on some documentary who can’t get out of bed anymore and is still scoffing cake and Pizza I wonder who is feeding this self absorbed cunt and funding their grotesque habit ?
Probably the rest of us no doubt fund it. If I was in control of social services I would go round the fat shit’s house and yell through the letter box ,
No more food fat arse , loose weight or die.
4
Never buy a TA Pizza anymore, they are loaded with MSG , sends my heart rate through the roof and awake all night with a raging thirst, Chinese is the same.
If I get a Pizza it’s usually a Sainsbury’s cheese filled crust better than any TA, add what you want to it. A lot cheaper to
6
A cursory Google of UK takeaways that have been fined by courts for poor hygiene, more often than not reveal these to be kebab and curry houses. The proprietors of these premises are commonly named Mohammed or Mustapha.
It must be something to do with their culture that it is acceptable to prepare customer’s food amongst dead rats, droppings, thick deposits of fetid grease, buckets of filthy, putrid water, filthy utensils and filthy working surfaces, walls and floors.
Honestly, photos from some of these cases are more reminiscent of Dennis Nielsen’s Muswell Hill house than a supposed eating establishment. Unless these have a 5 star hygiene certificate, I wouldn’t frequent it, but an eyeball of the premises will give you a clue. Not that I have many takeaways nowadays.
8
Morning Paul, used to be a chinese takeaway in stockport I used to drive past all time, ripped grey net curtains in window, dead flies in window, front of shop dirty as fuck, and occasionally youd see someone going in to order!!
4
Years ago one of my cousins was employed as a Manager by a certain Titan of the fast food industry.After listening to some of his descriptions of the behind the scenes antics of the psychopathic teenagers employed at his shop I only ever eat a takeaway where I can actually see the grub being cooked,usually a good old fish n chips place.Did my cousin reprimand any of the food tampering culprits,I hear you ask? Did he fuck,the Cunt was the worst of the lot,any customer he especially didn’t like the look of got “Special Service”,an extra dollop of bogies on his gherkins and 2 gobfuls of spit spread evenly along his cheeseburger.Eventually,said cousin was so disgusted by the fast food industry that he quit it for good after 5 terrible years of suffering low wages and long hours.
5
Youve made me feel peckish now CRU!
5
Given it was a takeaway, it wasn’t called Wan Kme by any chance?
5
Those stickers on the window saying ‘Just Eat’ are incredibly handy for showing discerning people the shitty places to avoid.
5
Having the breakfast of champions right now Any of you cunters ever have a harvey wallbanger cocktail before?! Just having my first for breakfast with a big can of ale And no krav or mpg I’m not asking if you’ve ever been wallbanged up the hershey highway by your buddy or rentboy harvey
Pretty tasty if I don’t say so myself, tho i replaced the vodka with gin and added a few drops of pineapple juice so i guess its a aloha harvey wallbanger now or something
5
Jesus Titslapper! On a sunday morning?
Youll be half cut by time you get to church!
Your not going to church are you?
4
I don’t go to church anymore, last time i went it was disappointing the pastor was a real cunt too. I’m waiting for Vatican hill to explode then i’ll go… Also Cucktholics and evangeltards only go to church on sunday true goy christians like me obverse the Sabbath
Nothing wrong with getting pissed at 4 in the morning MNB actually I prefer getting drunk early in the day then drinking at night because i always get shit sleep. This way i winddown better during the lazy day and i’m all sobered up by dinnertime
2
Nice *new improved* WALL OF CUNTS admin!
With special added ingredient *Spreadshite Phil*
5
My wife gets constipation now and again(like most women).No over the counter cure for her.She just goes into a MacHingins in town orders a Gross burger with fleas and for the next 3 days has the runs.Problem solved.I shit you not.
4
I only have one takeaway a week, a curry on Saturday night, which I collect from a great curry house where there is an open kitchen, and the grub is top notch. Every other meal I eat I cook or prepare myself. At least I know what I’m eating, and I save a fucking fortune. So many cunts live on takeaways, McDonald’s or manky Greggs every day is common.
I was out on the motorbike the other day, and I stopped at a local beauty spot. Up rolls this car full of tubbies, and one got out. I thought she was going for a little walk/wobble, but she was just adjusting her smock, then squeezed herself back into the car, where she proceeded to eat a plate of chips. A plate of chips with a proper fork. This wasn’t a camper van, it was a little saloon, who the fuck drives around with fucking crockery? A greedy cunt who can’t go 20 minutes without a chip infusion. She was scoffing like her life depended on it, loading up the fork ready, so she didn’t have to stop chewing. I swear you could see the look of disappointment on the seagulls that hang around the car park, as they knew there were going to be no leftovers from this gang.
8
Lovely new chippy opened up near us… English too, with an English name and run by some rather nice English people… It’s immaculate and rather an exotic rarity in today’s peaceful and eurogyppo monopolised take away industry… Proper fish and chips for a straight fiver and all, not bad in 2019….
My misgivings about these pizza places and the like is that they are always of a peaceful persuasion… I mean, how many of them go to that hate den in Didsbury, where that cunt who did the Arena bombing went to be ‘radicalised’?
5
I want to go that chippy in prestwich with the Mark E Smith mural on side,
Keep waiting for a job where finish nearby!
2
I always order the cream of sum yung guy…
2
You Mince pie guy and krav would get along just fine then
2
I have never had food delivered. Never occurred to me.
3
Like you’ve never ever had food delivered to you before? You should check that one on your bucket list then komodo. The guilty feeling of tipping too little or not tipping enough is a real thrill in itself
3
Noted. I shall order Chef’s Special King Prawn Bhuna with all the trimmings from Bangla Heaven Indianish Tandoori Takeaway, and when it arrives at my fake address, hit the delivery rider over the head and steal his moped. Many thanks for the idea.
1
I used to go out and grab the odd Chinese or Indian at the weekend until the whole metoo thing cropped up and spoiled my fun.. I’ve been finding it a bit hard to get out since then to grab what I need.
But I saw the light when I watched one of those half ton cunts in one of those “I’m too fat to leave the house” programs on the box. The bed bound land walrus got a front door key to his flat cut for the local Kebab house, then he’d phone and they’d deliver for free direct to his bed. Genious!
Needless to say, I’ve had 7 keys cut and distributed to all my local grub emporiums.
1