Gift Cards

Gift cards or more accurately, ‘shop restricted money with a use by date’ aka Cunt Money.

Bought for children by cretinous old relatives who’d rather spend a tenner on something the little mites can only spend in certain shops, can’t get change from and go out of date just before you find them under the sofa.

“Granny, she’s 10 for fucks sake, save yourself the bother. Just put the £10 straight in the envelope and she’ll love you to bits”. Kids like money, it makes them feel grown up and when they’ve blown it on shit and got nothing to show for it,  it teaches them a life lesson. But no, It’s a £10 Claire’s voucher for shit, over priced plastic crap, that she’ll never redeem! Smart move!

I’ve just found a PlayStation £10 gift card that my Son got for his birthday in February. He doesn’t even own a fucking PlayStation and what the fuck can you buy from Sony for £10?

Nominated by Blimpo

 

27 thoughts on “Gift Cards

  1. Haha made me laugh that Blimpo!
    Dont be so ungrateful get down claires and get that voucher spent!
    But make sure you buy the elderly relative a useless gift back, get her football boots or box of screws.

  2. I like getting younger relatives gift cards, purposely for shops they are unlikely to want to use or spend them in.

    I hope it teaches them the value of money and that you can’t always get what you want on life.

  3. Wouldn’t it be good if you could give a Gift card for a brothel.
    Congratulations on passing your exam! Here’s a £50 gift voucher to spend at Madame Jinko on any whore. Love Mum & Dad.

  4. Somebody should bring out a LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 voucher. Then the kid could spend it on “gender appropriate “ clothing, in straightforward pervert sex shops or even entry to gay clubs.
    I’m surprised some kiddy fiddling libtard hasn’t thought of it yet.

  5. Frankly, I’m grateful for any bloody gift, but I see your point.

    Money is always the better option as a gift, especially for moaning little bastards who can just spend it on whatever they want, wherever they want, without having a tantrum about it (as spoilt brat kids in this day and age do, and frequently)

    My poor sister got lumbered on her 50th birthday with a shit load of gift cards that she could, quite honestly, do fuck all with. Our cousin got her a very generous £50 worth of gift cards, but all for £3, £2, £5….all very low denominations so you would have to add a fuck load more money to them in order to buy anything of substance……and what shops were they for? Not good old M&S or Debenhams…..bloody House of Fraser and WHSmith amongst numerous others, places that most bastards rarely venture into because they are either extortionately expensive (H of F) or have a whole load of useless shit in, unless you are in the market for a bloody ballpoint pen or an envelope.

    My Mum’s face was a picture when my sister opened her birthday card and a stack of the fuckers fell out.

    I think the words were, ‘What fucking planet is she on?’

  6. We should all send a gift card to Treezer the Appeaser as a leaving present. Of course they would be in Euros and bear the legend “Fuck off to the EU you love so much and don’t come back bitch.”
    It’s the least we can do.

    • I wouldn’t give that cunt the steam off my shit, a worthless human being who lied to millions.
      She should be put on trial, I hope she catches an incurable illness.

    • I once saw a card that I was sorely tempted to buy for a twattish relative:
      “Everybody thinks you’re a cunt.”
      Perfect for Treeza.
      Does anyone have a stock of about 10 million ?

  7. When my daughter got married, one of her aunts on her knobhead father’s side sponsored her a goat for some African village or other. I think on balance she’d have preferred a gift card.

    • That’s fucking classic. Cunts who “give” you some sonsorship of some whorehouse in Africa as a “gift” are saying…….

      I have to give a prezzie to conform to the social mores but, basically, I fucking hate you so this gives you fuck all and I get to look like a right fucking caring sharing libtard.

      They may as well gob in your face and kick you in the bollocks.

      • Classic Leftism. I’ll spend your money for you on other people because I’M so kind. Narcissistic cunts.

      • If you’re so kind spend your own money you cunt and let me keep mine to spend on sex dolls and malteasers.

      • There is a section of chain link fence in Turkey which has my name on it. Apparently it protects bears. Thanks a bunch, Sis.

    • Reckon local shops round here have goat cards…for “local people.”

  8. One of the local chemists does gift vouchers, would love to know how many takers they have.
    “So what do you want for Christmas little Timmy?”
    “I want thrush cream, a bottle of Lucozade, indigestion tablets and advice on how to stay well this winter please Granny!”
    “I’ll never remember all that, how about I get you a Pharmacy voucher?”

    Oh yeah, that’s a conversation we’ve all had somewhere down the line innit?

    • Why are they all suddenly called Pharmacies? When dd we dispense with the word ‘Chemist’?

      Soon we’ll be walking on the sidewalk to the intersection and stopping at the stoplights for an eggplant.

      American compound noun bullshit for retards.

  9. Actually you can buy quite a few games on PSN for 10 quid if you follow sales and get a decent deal. Games can go anywhere from 40 to 80 percent off on some sales

    • Useful information TS but i’m not really interested unless there is a game called “Remoaner Deadzone” or “Libtard Zombie Killing Field.”

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