Andy Murray (15)

ITF HAVE CONFIRMED: Andy Murray is a five start Cunt.

I used to quite like watching Wimbledon on TV and many years ago I had the privilege of going to Wimbledon….I was bribed by a French businessman with 2 tickets if I didn’t bring something up that he didn’t want bringing up. Ahem. Fine. “Centre Court sil vous plait!” ……

Now however, I believe all tennis players, at any level, including wheelchair players to be cunts if they fist pump, fist bump (doubles) or scream “come on!” to themselves and the crowd in some pathetic attempt to get us to like them. The biggest culprit and, weeping wee ‘jessie’, ranking top of the wankometer of nauseating cringe worthiness, is none other than Andrew Murray. On top of his cry for help by blubbering like a baby because his hip was fucked at the Australian open (thought he announced his retirement), he has now initiated the infuriating trend of high fiving his partner (Serena Williams) every time they play a point. Win or lost a big fuck off high five. Cunts!

Imagine the cricket openers doing it with every ball played??? Or synchronized swimmers every time they submerged grinning. What happens if this cuntish behaviour starts seeping in to everyday life? Wetherspoon’s bar staff high fiving on every pint served? Morrison’s check out girls high fiving on every scanned item!…… Murray’s actions could bring sport as we know it and, the pantomime that is my life, to a grinding halt. Bell end!

Nominated by Daz Wud

35 thoughts on “Andy Murray (15)

  1. Fist bumps no matter who, where, when is bollox! This yank shite is embarrassing as fuck, just leave em hanging offer to shake their hand as a adult, or tell them get fucked. Sort of people who call you dude, wear back to front baseball cap and say something was ‘gnarly!’..drop dead.

  2. All sportscunts have annoying habits. From Murray’s “ high fives”, through to footballers gobbing, golfers waving their fists in the air and cricketers scratching their asses out of sheer tedium. You are right, if any of us displayed these actions in everyday life we would be considered cretins.

  3. Americans seem to be world class at this shite. IMHO, they are the biggest culprits.

    All of the fucking high five-ing, chest bumps, ‘good jaaaarb’, ‘ahhhlright!!’, hand slapping and palms pressing shit that they are forever inflicting on the world.

    To me, this stuff smacks of bad sportsmanship. There is no respect shown or politeness about their rivalries. There is a huge difference between being healthily competitive and just shoving your wins and smugness down others throats. They should have more respect for their opponents.

    The recent Women’s World Cup for example. All through, the US team showed themselves to be a bunch of arrogant, smug, rude, brash cunts of the highest order. Yes, you are good. We all KNOW your are good……but so do you and you find every opportunity you can to rub it in everyone’s faces as some kind of pathetic intimidation tactic. I can just imagine their cunt coach: ‘GO GET THOSE BITCHES!! PSYCH THEM OUT AND BREAK THEM, YOU BAD ASS MOTHERS!!’

    The whole team were unsportsmanlike cunts.

    As for Murray, he is truly pathetic. Boo hoo. My hip is poorly. Goodbye, farewell and adieu…….until he decides he actually isn’t retiring as Mummy Dearest would be deeply disappointed to lose her place in the spotlight and for the wheels to fall off of the wagon that she has firmly hitched to his star.

    All this sports cuntery does my nut in.

  4. Murray’s a cunt , unarguably. However, what I want to know is what the French businessman had done?
    Pissing in the Champagne bottles?
    Passing off rats’ legs as frogs’ ones?
    Cash in hand ferry service Calais to Folkestone?

    • Fucking his wife behind his boyfriends back the fucking homo. I guessed it. I let it be known i knew. He shit him self. Strawberries, ice cream, Pimms and a blow job off the missus for the whole Wimbledon experience.

  5. Why all the grunting? I’ve seen boxing matches where the greatest exponents knock ten bells out of each other that are quieter. They are hitting a soft ball not hitting each other with their rackets.

  6. I was lucky enough to see all McEnroes finals. Those were great days for tennis, you could get standing tickets at the time.

    If I was given royal box tickets for free today, I wouldn’t go, it’s just so boring.

  7. Murray’s always been a bit of a cunt, but teaming up with that steaming arsehole Williams has taken him into the Premier League of cuntitude.

  8. Trouble with Andy Murray is and I don’t know if it’s a tennis thing but he just ain’t likeable.

    On his own he’s bad enough but his Uber cunt mother Judy uses him as her ticket to celebrity.

    What a piss boiling combination they are.

    Tennis is not my cup of tea, I’d be oblivious to its existence if not for the two weeks a year we are suddenly meant to become tennis fans, drunk pimms and elevate Judy fucking Murray into the dizzy heights of national treasure.

    No wonder Andy Murray is a dour cunt, in years to come he’ll be remembered as Judy Murray’s son.

    • Totally agree SV
      If you listed the ten most boring cunts in sports tennis would be well represented…
      Beaver faced Spanish grunter nadal ain’t a fucking bundle of laughs, him and his uncle tony are a couple of right miserable cunts!!
      Next up a man who’s sublime tennis skills are dwarfed by his complete lack of a personality! Federer May be the greatest tennis player ever but you wouldn’t want to get stuck with the cunt at a party! , but without any hesitation Murray is king of the tennis cunts! , monotonous monotone Murray I’m sure could actually bore somebody to death , listening to him droning on and on a that’s when he fucking won Wimbledon FFS!! , never far behind him is his fist pumping , bulldog chewing a wasp, sour puss pushy as fuck mum who would give Medusa a run for her money……..

  9. It’s a real shame the Murray’s survived the Dunblane massacre. 3 less upper middle class tossers to deal with would have been a start.

  10. I remember years ago a commentator saying that they couldn’t see a British winner of a major tennis tournament for decades.
    So credit where credits due to the Scottish cunt on his achievements.
    But the lad seems a misserable cunt which ain’t half bad. I personally think he’d fit in fine with all us cunts on ISAC.

  11. The women’s final has just started.

    Won’t be watching it as full of cunts, including Serena Williams, Theresa May and royals Harry and William’s wives (who’s names I can’t remember). As usual cameras very much focused on who’s in the audience.

    A total boring cuntfest, hope Williams breaks her fucking neck. Disgraceful bitch,

  12. I cant bear to watch S Williams, she makes my piss boil the way she stomps around, fucking screaming with that massive gob.

    Murray has always been a cunt, Mummy is bigger cunt, brother seems to make walking look difficult, but less of a cunt than than the others.

    • Nor surprised Serena is light heavy weight tipping 16 stone – very powerful hitting the ball but you have to get to the ball to hit it you fat yanky cunt…..go take a shite!

  13. I almost saw a bit of the tennis yesterday. Luckily though i had to cook some chicken so i managed to avoid getting bored into a coma.

  14. Murray is a twat of the highest order. I worked for a Scottish company and to keep the peace I had to pretend I was as big a fan as they were. What a miserable fucking existence is all I could think. Crap weather, vile widdly lager, mosquitoes, Sturgeon, huge chip on both shoulders…..and Andy Murray.

    Still, I’ll raise you one arrogant, dislikable fist-pumping sleaze bag Novak Djokovic.

    And I’m glad Federer took Nadal to the cleaners.

  15. Sport what a load of overblown ego driven shite, put the twats to work doing something useful instead of chasing balls and each other, I had a terminal verruca at school, no showering, never took my kit, I’m red hot at doing lines but absolutely crap at sport

  16. Don’t worry guys, Serena ‘I’m a mother!’ Williams just lost! Woohoo!

    • With all the fucking screeching and grunting, I thought she’d gone into fucking labour and become “I’m a mother” yet again. Seriously though, thighs that could crush coconuts.

    • She’s a “real woman” since giving birth dontcha know? Still looks like a fucking gorilla chewing a wasp though. And Murray is a boring, mummy fucking cunt. My God those two uber cunts together, between her droning on about her kid and him crying and sucking his mummy’s tits, I’d rather watch the Cunt Factor.

  17. I find Wimbledon UNWATCHABLE with the sound on.

    It’s a cacophony of screams, groans and grunts like elephants mating and getting his balls skewered by a stray tusk and that’s just the fucking MEN.

    With the women, the whole thing sounds like an overproduced porn flick. Aaahhhh, Ohhhhhh, Ooooh, YAHHHHH, Errrrrghh.

    I wish it was a fucking porno, but no, the only thing getting fucked off is us having to listen to this shit.

    That Russian bint, Maria Pencil sharpener was the worst, fingernails down a dry blackboard scaped on a cheese grater dragged over a dry paving slab…

    Fuck off, just FUCK RIGHT OFF. Thank god for the mute button & reruns of Columbo. NUKE WIMBLEDON and while you’re at it, a couple of stray missiles for Islingcunts, Poxton and Whorebitch.

  18. Why do the crowd at tennis have to remain dead silent during play. It’s tennis not keyhole surgery.
    They’re all grunting and screaming like banshees anyway so why does it matter.

    And as for that clapping when a call is disputed and Hawkeye does its bit, just fucking embarrassing…..

  19. I love it the orangutan has lost. Again. Hopefully this time the he/she will fuck off for good with her sister. Cunts.

    • Fuck off Speakyourmind. Orangutans are nice, friendly creatures. What you’re referring to is the shaven gorilla who lost. Again. As a matter of interest, I hate the commentators, anchors and pundits on the BBC tennis coverage, as they’re all a bunch of sycophantic cunts. I hope their next shite is a spiny anteater or, on second thoughts, an armadillo.

  20. Williams wins with overwhelming power usually by being built like a fucking sumo and scaring every fucker by screaming at 100 decibels.
    Murray, and the the rest of them, look utter twats with that stupid limp fist pumping after every single point won.

  21. Methinks the main problem with Andy Murray is that he has a triple whammy going on:

    1. He is a miserable sod.
    2. He has the personality of a wet mop.
    3. His hanger-on mother is a giant pain in the arsehole and only amps up his ‘annoying factor’.

    These three things combined equal a stratospheric cunt.

    You have got to feel sorry for the bloke.
    Actually, scratch that, no you haven’t.

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