Everest Climbers

If not already done, then a nomination for Everest climbers.
What a great idea to risk your life, just to stand in a queue for twelve hours with a load of other arseholes, waiting to get to the top. Then more risk coming back down. Just stay up there and let us be rid of you.
Same goes for all adventurers and ‘daredevils’ Risk your life if you want to, but don’t expect others to risk theirs to rescue you. Eff off.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

35 thoughts on “Everest Climbers

  1. I wonder how many of these weekend explorers would be so eager, to go to the top if they had to do it with Sir Edmund Hilarys equipment.
    Selfish cunts , they should let them die if they get in trouble up there.
    I agree MM , if I was mountain rescue I’d say not today it looks a bit chilly up there, fuck ’em.

  2. I have no problem with rich private school twats killing themselves as expensively and exotically as possible. It amuses me as I sit on my threadbare lounge drinking $10 port in a box.

    • Tip for anyone considering going, at base camp while the rest are asleep, transfer their supplies to your bergen, so you can have a bit of a picnic on the descent, also make sure you carry a sharp knife like your in London, slightest issue cut the others loose! Its life or death up there, edge the bets in your favour! Happy climbing!👍

      • People stealing others oxygen tanks is an issue up there. Cunts the world over, trust no-one.

      • Yeah it was me, buried em in snow, well! I have large lungs! Also whipped all the sleeping bags, was sweating at night, like a blast furnace in my tent, slept with zip open was that hot! 😳

  3. More people there than snowdon on a good day.
    Fucking climbers do my head in. If they fuck up on the mountain, they should pay the rescue bill.
    I had an uncle who died in an avalanche on K2 many years years ago.. silly cunt.

  4. Apparently it’s so crowded that they’re stepping over the dead when they occasionally cark it. Just build a funicular so every plankton can reach the summit for obligatory selfies.

    It’d be more courageous walking though East London after sunnydown – and no, I’ve never done it.

  5. All the Everest climbers are all of the same ilk. Upper middle-class Lib Dem voters all from places like Bath, Oxford, Winchester and York. I’m all for them climbing Everest, in fact they should all try it but only because there’s a chance they won’t come back. Get stuck? Tough shit, that’ll be less votes for Spear Chuka and co and less vegan cyclists clogging the roads. In Bradford that’s known as kiÄșling two infidels with one stone.

    Tofu sales might suffer but that’s Waitrose’s problem.

    • So true – why are these cunts always looking for an “experince”, and then we’re all supposed to be sad when they die doing said experience.

  6. They should open a branch of Starbucks up there…….give the cunts something to do while they’re waiting to take their selfies for Facebook.

  7. ‘Oh but dahrling, the Amazon basin and the Antarctic are so passe, all these vulgar people from the north are going there now that Ryanair have started flights… Moi? well dahrling, Tarquin and I had such fun this season, climbing Everest! It was such an adventure my dear! (No loos, but that’s the Nepalese for you!). More champers?’.

  8. I’d like to of been the first man up Katie Price, now everyone’s been up there it’s no achievement or challenge, tho both pointless feats can result dying in a large dark and damp crevice.

    • Dwight Yorke got the bonus of Harvey too, at least your Sherpa wont try and dry hump you at 20,000ft.

    • I’d like to fuck her, but with an ice pick.
      Bankrupt attention seeking cunt, they ought to chain her naked to the biggest rock they can find, at the summit. And then leave her.

  9. What is the point? Why drag your arse up a mountain which if you make a mistake or the weathers bad you die a cold lonely death. Bodies were used as waymarkers ie carry on past green boots (as very difficult to recover) Mallory,s body was discovered a few years back.
    If a man wants an adventure then why nor wander around Londonistan guaranteed action for little outlay will give you some real hardcore shit to impress the ladies with or you might be shanked and die either way it’s warmer, help is usually at hand and your family get a body if you buy the farm so to speak. Win win situation. You know I might start a Londonistan safari business.

    • The oft-quoted answer to ‘why do you want to climb Everest’ is ‘because it’s there’. To my mind, that’s a good reason for going round it, not up it.

  10. Anyone who ventures into the ‘dead zone’ and stays too long is a fucking stupid cunt, its like scuba diving and waiting until all the air has run out and hoping that by some miracle you will survive.

    Fuck everest climbers, its been done no one gives a fuck anymore.

  11. I recommend Jon Krakauer’s Into Thin Air as a great read of climbing Everest. It was one of the years lots of climbers died with first hand accounts of some very weird behaviour before they snuffed it and some incredible stories of survivial.

    As a climber it’s obvious why you would want to conquer everest, but some of those cunts going up now don’t know a crampon from a tampon.

  12. What makes me laugh is when these adrenaline junkies get hurt or worse killed there always seems to be a certain amount of surprise?
    Jumping out of a plane ? It may well give you the “buzz” of your live but although it’s relatively safe it’s certainly not risk free! On the odd occasion some poor cunts gonna hit the ground, And fucking hard ! , but mountains make no mistake are dangerous, Making swimming in shark infested waters an infinitely safer way to spend your time.
    Although these mountain climbing glory hunters are annoying I’ve got another set of people that are equally idiotic cunts who boil my piss, Sailors! , every couple of months you see some cunt attempting to cross the Atlantic / Pacific in a vessel that appears to be as sea worthy as a tin of beans! , About to make a pointless voyage that’s been done before but it doesn’t count as the vessel was actually a real fucking boat/ ship……
    People performing these acts of stupidity receive huge TV exposure and get encouraged by people who should actually be directing them to their doctor for a long chat……

  13. I agree with you Quisling about the ocean crossers. Remember some years back, some silly twat called Tony Bullimore, had to be rescued several times. Plus there’s the fact that in 2000 he was featured in a BBC documentary about crossing the Atlantic Ocean, with the ‘comedian’ Lenny Henry. Definitely a cunt, just for that alone.

    • Wasn’t he a fucking yank to boot the irresponsible prick? Yeah it’s coming back to me – inept cunt whose boat sank while in dock?

  14. I’ve always had the strange urge to go to the top of Everest and toss myself off.

    • Probably better locations, looks like you’ll just roll down for miles and mile, plus it’s expensive. That money could be better spent on hoors and coke before taking the cheaper option of beachy head.

  15. Try climbing mount hua not close as high as Everest is but the hiking routes are very very dangerous and the mountain itself is hard to scale and is considered the steepist in the world and there is no convenient starbucks at the bottom before you get bused up to the trail. Try that one you stunned cunts

    • Just Googled it, looks like you need to be half mountain goat. Saw a documentary called ‘Free Solo’ a few weeks ago about a climber who scaled El Capitan in Yosemite, 3000ft of vertical rock face with no ropes or lines.

      • I watched that. Brave/daft, but fair play to them its Definately a lifestyle thing, eat,sleep and breathe climbing. Admire anyone with that sort of commitment to anything, especially with the high likelihood it’ll end in a bloody smear at bottom of a shear cliff.

  16. A stand up shag in the broom cupboard at work with an obliging HR staff member wondering if you will get caught is much more exciting than climbing Everest .

  17. I’m surprised some cunt hasn’t started a business flying cunts to the top of Everest via helicopter.Have your photo taken,get married,scatter grandads ashes,the possibilities are endless.Anyone seen that cunt Richard Branson lately?

  18. After consulting the Holy Koran of Qatfuhr, I can state the obvious explanation as to how and why Everest is apparently getting higher. Infidel “science” hochhhhh ptuuuui, has it wrong, it is nothing to do with the southern tectonic upthrust against the northern plate causing the Himalayas to rise, NO, it’s the growing pile of filthy infidel bodies at the summit. Soon shariah will come to Everest with oxygen thieves losing their hands to frostbite thereby saving the salary of a paid executioner. The great Islamic scholar Jahk Frohst is most wise.

  19. I always wanted to build a little fort up there, oxygen generator, wind turbine, solar and batteries and gas bottles, sit out on my veranda watching all the cretins go past and then royally fleecing then when they need an oxygen bottle top up or a shit.

    I would allow the Sherpas to stay there but no foreign climbing cunts.

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