The Needy

The Needy are an annoying shower of cunts. Allow me to elaborate.

I’m not referring to the starving-as-fuck, 2lb, Malteaser sand children on the adverts, the begging winos, or the food bank-frequenting pov’s (poverty stricken citizen). I’m on about your mate, your relative, your workmate, your house / flatmate – that fucking Negative Nancy that sucks the life and enjoyment out of you with their tales of woes, aliments, partner troubles and family issues.
What’s more annoying, even more so than having to deliberately avoid talking to these people, is that they use their issue(s) as an attention-seeking tool on social media platforms and in real social situations, praying on the unsuspecting listener in the hope that they will receive sympathy, a warm hug and a box of tissues. Fuck off.

I know an individual who was diagnosed with a form of cancer. Granted, not very nice. However, that cancer was deemed mild and done away with swiftly and effectively. Annual checks are always given the all-clear.
But for last fuck knows how many years, this person has been using this ordeal as a kind of “survivor against the odds” million-to-one, chance of survival journey, it’s utter bullshit, and it’s insulting to people who are really suffering and have little hope of surviving.

Don’t feel compelled to stay connected to people like this out of guilt, your so-called bloodline, or the fear of being uncomfortable when you unfortunately to bump into them, fuck ’em, they’re an inconvenience. A genital wart is an inconvenience. If it’s going to irritate you for life, cut it off.

Nominated by Lord Cuntony

28 thoughts on “The Needy

    • Haha yeah fuck the needy! But doesnt go down well if you say it in public eh? But everyone thinks it! Those starving malteser kids who walk 8mile for water? Whys dad not fetching it? Says on scavving advert its dirty water that could kill? Try boiling it? Maybe filter it through sand an charcoal? All the tools are free & to hand! Just feckless lazy cunts, no enjoy to boil water but enough to shag like rabbits! Fuck em.

      • Those begging adverts by rich up-themselves remaintard fuckwits like Bill Nighy, Cunterbatch and the fucking tranny cunt formally known as Eddie Izzard make me fucking puke.
        “The water’s filthy, and it’s full of animal waste”
        1- don’t draw your water from a filthy hole in the ground if you don’t want filthy water. Try using the standpipe that those turds at Comic Relief paid for, wanker.
        2- don’t stand there looking all sad and miserable watching a cow piss in said filthy fucking hole.
        3- don’t, after watching the cow piss in it, fill your hollowed-out coconut up with said piss/water mix, traipse 9 miles back to your mud hut, and feed it to your fucking family. Or wash your shaven-headed baby’s face with it.
        Fucking dumb cunts.

        • M’tembe and his fambly have culturally appropriated the white man’s aphorism: “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.

          That’s blatantly waycist.

      • I could never understand why these cunts didn’t just move to the nearest clean watering hole rather than traipsing 8 or 9 miles there and back with a jug full of water every day of the week!

        Come on chaps, it isn’t rocket science!

  1. My trouble is that I can’t stop myself making inappropriate comments. When a good friend’s wife rang to say that he had suddenly died,my first comment was “Well.that’s bloody inconvenient,it was his turn to drive to the rugby on Saturday”.

    I just genuinely have trouble “empathising”, My first thought when being told someone’s bad news isn’t for them,it’s “How does it affect me”,if it doesn’t well…I don’t really care. I don’t particularly mind people telling me their bad news,sometimes it’s handy to know what their problems are,and other times I can think to myself “Good,serves you right.”. However, I never want to listen to them moan on looking for sympathy, why should I?

    I also think that people who pander to these serial whingers are even worse. They just encourage the “Oh,woe is me” mentality. I also suspect that a lot of them are doing it to get some kind of self-congratulation out of their sympathy. They cluck and witter on,all the while thinking just how caring and “nice” they are.

    Fuck them.

      • Probably would have if it hadn’t been the same day as the funeral….perhaps I should have told her that she could pick me up after the game on her way home.

        • Just send her a invoice politely asking for fuel costs, dont see why she gets to duck her financial obligation!

    • Always seems to be some dreary mavis dithering type who wants to burden you with their issues, have to bite the inside of my cheek sometimes from screaming ‘JUST FUCKIN SORT IT OUT YOU DOZY TWAT!!’ and shaking them, maybe slapping them few times. But theyd grass me up to the missus

      • Talking about dreary mavis dithering types, I had the misfortune to endure a farty political boredcunt on behalf of the Welsh Greens. Lucarse is a terminally boring, dried-up old brassica. And what a carbon fartprint, travelling all the way from Battyboystown and Hove up to Wales.
        Old minger. Chuck her in a skip.

  2. Hmmm, yes there are some needy people who are irritating, but…

    I on the other hand hand, have no time for what is known as ‘Fairweather Friends’…..the ones who only want to stick around if everything is fine and dandy and not giving them the shits.

    To me, they are the most selfish and useless of fuckers as (especially) friendship is about the bad and the good, even if that friend is a whining fucker at times. If they were in the shit and needed to vent and a shoulder to cry on, I am sure they would appreciate the same in return.

    I suffer from mental health conditions….have done since 2003. I NEVER seek sympathies. Frankly, I try to keep that shit to myself as firstly, people don’t want to hear it and secondly, most people, unless they have suffered the same, just don’t understand it. I don’t blame them. It is complex and a downer……BUT, I have tried at times to open up to people I considered friends and most have not wanted to know and steered the conversation back to their youngest child having done their first fucking dump on the potty. It takes a lot to tell anyone about stuff like this… for someone who is meant to be a mate to swerve it is both disappointing and shitty in extremis. I’m not mentioning this to appear ‘needy’, incidentally…..I am just trying to inject a bit of balance.

    I have dumped many so-called friends because of this one-way street, ‘only if it is all good’ attitude. Their ‘me, me, me’ thinking and lack of interest in anything other than their own dramas. I have no issue with needy people….I have an issue with a one-way friendship. Any fucker who thinks it is all about them and they cannot be arsed to listen and support back has a warped understanding of what a friendship/relationship is, in my humble opinion.

    • A good post, Nurse Cunty,even if it’s not all particularly to my view.

      • Thanks Mr F.

        I was hesitant to post it as I don’t want to put any noses out of joint and certainly not cunt the cunter, but just wanted to share another side of things.

        • That’s the thing about this site,isn’t it? We all have different views,life experiences etc. and it’s sometimes good to hear other peoples’ points.

          • Definitely, Mr F!

            Makes my day coming on this site. I always know I am going to get a good laugh for starters from the posts of my fellow cunters.

            Long may the cuntings continue!

        • Nurse Cunty – I hope you don’t mind me chipping in with a comment here but I admire you for your honest comments, particularly in this week. I wish I could be as eloquent in sharing a similar past experience of my own.

          • Not at all, Bluntspeakingcunt!

            Thank you very much for your kind comment. I do try to be honest about things, but I try also not to bombard people with it. I know I sound like a right old hippy, but I think being open about stuff is good, but also not for everyone. It is very much a private and personal choice and nobody else’s business otherwise.

            All the best, my fellow cunter.

  3. I used to work with an eastern European type who did the poor wo me at work just to get attention.

    Of course all he was looking for was a legover with any woman who would fall for his lies, patter and listen.

    What a cunt, wished I cud have deported him back on the first flight back to Romania, not only a job stealer but a cunt to women.

    • As soon as I read the first line, my thought was “Wonder if he’s a Romanian ?”

      Then my question was answered…why was I not in the least surprised ?

      Romanians are an abomination.

  4. Off topic but Leeds are choking shitcunts and all their fans are wankers hahahaha cunts!! March on together back to the Championship you whippet shagging nonces

  5. Spot on cunting. Non-stop whining about anxiety, stress, their friends and relatives’ anxiety and stress, illnesses they don’t have, illnesses their friends and relatives’ may or may not have…. blah, blah, fucking blah. In the end it’s all down to selfishness, and idleness, both mental and physical. Wake up and smell the coffee losers, we all have shit days and depressing thoughts from time to time. The difference is that some of us have the self discipline to take charge of ourselves and get on with trying to have a productive and enjoyable life, rather than wallowing in self pity. Get a fucking grip.

    KBO cunters

  6. Ive found the needier the cunt, the longer they spend on Flakebook, either ranting or as mentioned fishing for sympathy with tales of woe and hardship. When a girlfriend of a mate of mine became suffocatingly clingy (she has social anxiety and cant work or leace the house, unless someone pays for her to eat out, of course), the friends mum asked her if she was her son’s girlfriend, or his dog.

    Well deserved. She came here a few years ago and has worked a fucking day,

  7. Strange. I can empathise with the suffering of complete strangers. But not close family, friends. I sit there unmoved. Strange.

  8. As a first time “is-a-cunter”, may I just say this site has cheered this ole cunt up big time.

    Mercy buckets as they’ve never said in France.


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