Kidults

Kidults are cunts.

The definition of a kidult is:
kidult (plural kidults) (informal, marketing, sociology) An adult who participates in youth culture and activities traditionally intended for children.

Why have they suddenly pissed me off?
Because I am surrounded by work colleagues who are eagerly watching trailers on the their mobile phones for…
…the Sonic the Hedgehog movie.
Cunts. Utter, utter, utter cum gargling cunts.

Is this some kind of joke? I’m afraid not, I’m being quite serious.
And I quote “that looks fucking awesome”, “I’m definitely going to see that”, “it’s Sonic innit?”.
I can’t believe it. These are grown adult men. The youngest is 28. Their idea of entertainment is a fucking cartoon hedgehog.
It used to be just the fucking nerdy neckbeards, but now it’s every cunt. They’re playing games consoles, they’re watching The Avengers, FUCK OFF ! Fucking spandex lycra peedo bullshit. Any shiny computer generated circle jerk over the same soggy biscuit and these cunts are there.
Why aren’t they fixing shit, breaking shit, learning shit, buying powertools or simply drinking beer?
Next thing you know there’ll be a movie about snake (famously featureless early nokia mobile phone game) and these cunts will be all over it, cumming in their pants at the CGI and revelling in the brand spanking new low that binds their feeble minds together.
I’ve tried to get them on a basic diet, things like “13 Tzameti” or “man bites dog” but their tiny minds still harbour suspicion.
I’m living in a cultural wasteland, and these cunts are the dead trees.

Nominated by Cuntflap

72 thoughts on “Kidults

    • I wish Dr Legg would fall down the stairs, I’ve got that old bastard. I never win fuck all me !

  1. Screechers are people who dress as fury animals,scratch and sniff each other and get off on it. No,me neither…..

    • Have to confess I am a gamer not the shootie type more story and adventure to be sure .
      Their are some truly great stories you can interactive with and are jaw droppingly beautiful.

      Think of these as interactive books if you will.

      That aside I am what my parents called a tinkerier can do basic electrics and wood work like to fix broken electronics mainly though.

      The whole going spastic for movies, i do not get. as nearly every movie is shite cynical arse gravy frankly.

      As I say often here I am ashamed of my generation being in my 30s also. Give me a good history or science based documentary anytime Or some rather risque porn to get excited about. Not a comic book movie

      Grow up you little scamp cunts.

  2. Fucking pathetic cunts, I remember a couple of years ago, a video game was launched and quite a few blokes at work booked holidays.
    The reason was, some shops opened at midnight and they wanted to be there in the queue, which is ok if you’re a teenager. But most of them are in their 30s, and married with kids.
    It makes you realise how far we have fallen, to think of all those young men who left to fight for King and country, and did it out of duty.
    What’s worse they talked about nothing else for a week! Vacuous zombies whose bollocks have not yet dropped.

    • Aren’t Kidults the petulant turds making guttural noiss in the House of Commons?

      Afternoon old chap.

    • Campbellcunt was on the box this morning, banging on about his fucking bipolar, No you cunt you are just a cunt!
      Then fucking Adonis on politics live, I think he should be in an institution, he just talks bollocks, ah my mistake, he is ….. the Lords.

  3. Good to see noms making me piss myself laughing again.. ..it all got a bit ugly for a while.. ..

    Good day to you RTCP. ..Krav….capt ……

  4. And no i Won’t be typing clopping into my search engine so if someone could explain to old Squinty I’d be much obliged….

    • Afternoon Sir Squint
      Is it when you almost win something? Oh beg pardon, that’s Klopping.

      (Psh! And I’m a Liverpool supporter!!).

    • Afternoon Squint, Captain.

      According to my dictionary it’s “when a Brony is masturbating to Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash going full lez on PonyHub in his mom’s basement at 4am.”

      Not sure I’m much the wiser.

  5. And talking in that fucking cringeworthy Jamaican patois and getting orgasmic over the new i phone 26 s. Innit dude.

  6. Cuntults more like.

    Nothing that few years in the varangian guard followed by a few years in shawshank wouldn’t sort out.

    Cunts!!!

    Why is that rectum rustler crying anyway. Did fucking pikeys bake sonic the fucking cunthog in clay?

  7. It’s quite terrifying to realise that the very people we are at war with are seeing this shit and realising that invading our country and taking everything we have is going to be fucking child’s play.

    Oh wait…..

    These kidults are traitors by cowardice whose pussy antics are bringing us down hard. They need a very distressing and frightening realignment through the physical pain and cruel punishment of merciless flogging.

  8. Flawless cunting, Cuntflap. If you haven’t, read The Time Machine, by HG Wells, in which the nasty Morlocks steal and eat (presumably) the feckless and effete Eloi. The parallels persist.

  9. In the past week I’ve witnessed:-

    A grown man (hippy) whizzing along the path beside the river on a motorised skateboard;

    Men in their 30s talking about superhero films, “Dude I NEED to watch that Avengers movie (sic);

    Middle-aged men wearing baggy shorts, entering Nando’s ffs (children’s café);

    Wobbly, stillettoed middle-aged women (50s) drunkenly cackling and screeching like desultory teenagers on too much Mad-dog 20/20;

    A coven of about ten middle-aged scary-marys on a hen night, noisy, garrulous, and all dressed as nuns.

      • He would’ve polluted the river, LL.
        The odour he trailed behind him was belligerent and his balding, crustaceous hair flapping in the wind didn’t seem too eco-friendly. I might’ve been done for toxic tipping and received a visit from Emma Thompson, all dungaree’d up.

        • Phwoar !! ET in dungarees… I wonder what incontinence pants she wears, surely that’s the point of that frightful garment.

  10. I get this shit all the time………Line of Duty, Game of Clowns, Startrek, Star Wars, fucking constant fucking kids stuff. Box sets this , fucking box sets that. Cunts were shocked the other day when I didn’t know who the dead cunt who wore the furry mask in the kids film was.
    And no, I haven’t got netflx…..I don’t even know what it is.
    Just fuck off …… go and live in your TV screen and leave me out.
    Cunts

  11. I’m an avid gamer but that’s something I do on my own in my own time and bother nobody 3lse whilst doing so.

    Totally agree with the cunting though, I’ve been at work and overheard men of my age (44) enthusing about the latest Marvel bollocks and it’s pathetic.

    • That marvel shit is just sad cunts thinking about fucking the johanscunt, thinking they’d perform like the hulk on cocaine.
      Of course, when challenged they bang on about how cool the bad guy is, which is just an enactment of what they think they look like when dishing out righteous revenge.
      Incredible juvenile wank nonsense.

  12. I first noticed this trend towards adults refusing to grow up during a trip to New York almost 30 years ago when I saw a granny roller skating in Central Park. Now I see grown men on skateboards zooming or crashing on the pavement at midnight! And what about the ageing hippies with monk-like tonsures and grey hair straggling over their shoulders like a creepy parasitic plant or the wrinkled heavy metal brigade with their leather jackets and beer bellies hanging under their Iron Maiden tee-shirts? Ageing white men with verminous Rasta locks are another offense to the eye.

    • ‘..or the wrinkled heavy metal brigade with their leather jackets and beer bellies hanging under their Iron Maiden tee-shirts?’

      Oi!, I resemble that remark!..

      (Though I’ve never owned any of their tee-shirts, and really only liked Maiden back in the days when Di’Anno was their screeching cuntman).

      • Years ago I had a conversation about music with a 70+ year old gentleman. He remarked “Arctic fukn Monkeys, what a load of Shit. They’re not a real rock band like Iron Maiden.”
        While I’m here, any faggot who watches Big Bang theory, go and get fucked you sick cunt.

  13. ” kidult (plural kidults) (informal, marketing, sociology) An adult who participates in youth culture and activities traditionally intended for children.”

    I can think of another word than “kidult” for an adult who participates in youth culture and activities traditionally intended for children.

  14. I’m surrounded by cunts who bang on about this shite and am made to feel a dim old cunt when the Avengers are mentioned and I say how delectable Dame Diana Rigg was in her day.

    • If you have fond memories of The Avengers then avoid the 1998 film with Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman like the plague.
      A right pair of charisma free cunts, unlike Diana and Pat MacNee.
      And Sean Connery should hang his head in shame too…

  15. Did anyone see that speccy soy-soaked flannel crying over the next Disney approximation of Star Wars?
    I grew up with the older films and was quite the fan in my teens, yet the prequels and latest additions do nothing for me.the last few are all very cynical attempts to stir up nostalgia in the older fans and drain cash. How so many dweebs couldnt see The Force Awakens was merely a poor man’s remake of the original saddens me. Perhaps they did but were/are in denial.

    Cunts.

    • For me Star Wars started with A New Hop and finished at Return of the Jedi. I had no interest in why Osama Bin Kenobi was wandering round caves surrounded by dubious looking cunts or where Darth Vader acquired his big helmet. I made the mistake of watching The Force Awakens and fell asleep, it was a remake and a fucking rubbish one at that. How do they think that Harrison Ford in his 70’s is a credible action figure?

  16. Extended adolescence, that’s the problem. Most kids stay at school until they are eighteen these days. Then far too many of them go to University to be brainwashed by libtards and be told what to think and what to say.
    They don’t go to work and mix with adults who will rip the piss out of them for acting like cunts. Not their fault they’ve been indulged all their lives and given what they want just to shut them up.
    They’re still cunts though. Beyond help i’m afraid.

  17. Have just had to suspend the skirmish in Red Alert 2 – Yuri’s Revenge where my British sniper and prism towers and were seeing off dozens of green clad opposition which I call Muslims. I’m having my tea which is more than the goat shaggers are getting during their Ramadan. Back for victory after the gammon egg and chips.

    • I remember Malcolm McDowell appearing on a videogame programme and talking about the increasing campness of the Command and Conquer series.
      ‘What we’re really doing here is taking the piss out of the geeks who play these games. I see my nephews playing them and ive no idea what it is they’re doing’.

      That came after Gemma Atkinson told us she played computer games… Parappa the Rapper as a kid.

      I got the feeling everyone involved with the promotional material was indeed taking this piss.

  18. I see that slippery little cunt, the Gove puppet, has been at it again……..sticking his tongue up the Hunchback’s arse.
    What a dirty, untrustworthy fucker that cunt is.

  19. The first Change pp broadcast just taken place with Chuckup Yerbhuna fronting. Had to switch off immediately as the creature revolts me.

    • I walked past the Change bus just outside Cardiff station this afternoon. Wish I’d had something really unpleasant to chuck under its wheels.
      Anna Sourpuss wasn’t visible…

  20. Cuntflap, I have ’13 Tzameti’ in my collection, and I did have ‘Man Bites Dog’ but decided not to keep it. Other black and white gems are ‘Eraserhead’ (1977), ‘Tetsuo The Iron Man’ (1989), ‘The Addiction’ (1995), ‘Pi’ (1998), ‘Limbo’ (2004), and ‘Aegri Somnia’ (2008). ‘Frozen Days’ (2005) is also worth a look but it has one colour scene in it.

    • Hi Allen, thanks – there’s a couple there I’ve yet to see. Love pi, great film. Another favourite is Primer.

  21. Grown man cries while watching Sonic The Hedgehog trailer?
    Kill it with fucking fire! Do the cunt to a fucking crisp!

    • The pikeys would, apparently hedgehog was a delicacy for them back in the day, they cooked them on a fire in clay, when the clay was opened up the spikes came off with it.
      The dirty thieving, lucky heather selling cunts.

  22. Fucking state of the human race, eh?
    When steaming shite like Avengers and Game Of Cunts is wanked over by grown adults… We are a planet of fucking mongs and total cunts…

  23. Brilliant cunting.

    “Why aren’t they fixing shit, breaking shit, learning shit, buying powertools or simply drinking beer?” is one of the best lines I’ve seen in ages. Outstanding work.

  24. A lot of the cunts I work with are mid 20s and I really don’t see growing up an option for most of them. Sure, they look like adults, but there is something missing. Some of them go out to play on bmx bikes for fucks sake. The rest sit at home watching Harry Potter and playing Pokemon. All things that should have quietly let slide with the onset of pubic hair….

  25. I will never understand these kidult cunts… As soon as I was old enough I was drinking, smoking, shagging, going to gigs… Everything a man is supposed to do… But men in their 20s 30s and 40s wearing Marvel or Hogwarts T-Shirts?! Do fuck off!

  26. About a year ago I saw 3 blokes, in their mid twenties, skateboarding down a steep slope in the park. They were marking chalk lines on the path where the shateboard ran out of energy. They were obviously having some sort of competition and taking it very seriously.
    Fucking hell, how am I supposed to do a decent bit of flashing with these wankers hanging about?

  27. Got a pamphlet from Chucky’s mob today. The centre pages feature the Union Jack fading away and superimposed by the starry blue snot rag. Well, at least they’re honest the cunts.
    The front has a picture of Chucky taking a selfie with his grinning mates like the trendsetter he thinks he is. Sourberries is conspicuous by her absence. Very sensible.
    They have an address in Belgravia (where else?) so it will be going back with a polite letter from my good self.

    • Don’t forget to wash your hands after you’ve wiped it round your derrière and placed it in the envelope. You never know where it’s been.

      Change UK 🚽

  28. 1939 to 1945 20 years old flying Lancaster bombers over Germany, getting 7 sorts of hell visited on them , 2019 grown men , if you can call them that, crying over a fecking cartoon hedgepig, the future of the English race is swimming in oestrogen filled ball bags of these twats, we are truly fucked.

  29. The only film I’m looking forward to this year is the new Godzilla film, mainly for nostalgia reasons, I grew up on those old Toho films where he fought Mothra and King Ghidorah.

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