Eurovision…. cunt of an idea.
Once again it’s time for mincing faggot “celebrities “ that I’ve never heard of to eulogise about the wankfest that is Eurovision . What a waste of fucking time and effort this piece of shit is. And the winner is…… some tuneless twat from a shithole country.
What sort of brainless twat has any interest in this cuntery ?

Nominated by Jimmy the Spaz


The Eurovision Song Contest.
I hardly need to cunt this cuntfest, but I don’t see why it should escape.
Talentless morons screeching a cacophony at us for what seems a lifetime, and since when was Australia in Europe? They should have done all their countrymen a favour and stayed as far away from it as their country already is.
The only thing in recent times I liked about this debacle was Terry Wogan truthfully taking the piss out of this hopeless bunch of arseholes.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire


Idiot Australians in the fucking Eurovision Song Contest.

Last time I looked Europe is fucking bounded by the Mediterranean Sea, the Urals, mount Elbrus and the mid At-fucking-lantic divergence plate.

So what fuck are those cum gargling Australians from the roaring forty antipodes doing in the Euro-fucking-vision song-fucking-contest?

Since the end of the white orstraya policy and the explosion of diversitee they’re not even remotely ethnically Eurovision either. They should stick to sandpapering their balls. At least they are meant to be in The Ashes even if they fuck it up by cheating and bawling on the TV like 8-Ace’s brayed bairns.

And it’s not as if the Eurovision is quality stuff, just let those pissant countries like Slovenia and Moravia have a bit of cheesy fun without big-arse too-loud blonde entitled kardashian actalikes caterwauling in and shitting all over everything.

I mean just farrrkkkk offf cuntssss

Nominated by Three Strokes



83 thoughts on “Eurovision

  1. Id like to have seen Sir Nigel take a break from election campaigning and do a turn as the UK’s entry performing Queens, ‘I Want to Break Free’ or a ‘We Will Fuck You’ reworking.

    • I’d watch that, LL.

      Also worth viewing is the latest from Paul Joseph Watson – The Truth About The EU Elections. Genuine humour about those Fourth Reich democracy-lovers, Farage, that milkshake, beardy Geordie cunt,and thee er-ranting Guy VerhofStazi.

      • Just seen it Cap, very funny as always with PJW, medium to hot piss boiling with May’s latest but not unexpected cave-in.

        • Despite falling below the betrayal and incompetence lines, she’s always managed to stay JUST above the mentally-ill line. Until now.

          She can now add “mad” to her list of adjectives. What an act of desperation.

      • I’ve just watched it. That comedian, Alistair Williams, has put it better than anyone I’ve ever seen.

  2. Sit Nigel might be a bit busy. The second referendum is ON. That two faced lying bitch slag has caved in to Steptoe. The final betrayal. Democracy is dead…….that’s official.

    • Yep. The perfidy and hypocrisy of the Maybot knows no bounds. An utterly loathsome and contemptible snake, Fred.

      Oh fuck, that Brexit thingy’s elbowed its way in again…

      • What is wrong with the fucking woman?. I swear she has lost her marbles. She is the Miss Havisham of politics, duplicitous old cunt. She knows that the pansies in Labour & libDems will want a second referendum, and there is enough motherfuckers on the Tory benches like Dominic Grieve who will want it too.

        I just hope both she and Steptoe get a fucking good thrashing on Thursday at the elections.

        • Those cunts over at the EU salon will be popping the champagne corks. Tusk and Guy VerIsDeEnglander must be wanking themselves blind.

          • Fear not. Parliament will vote it down again. For every one Labour /Lib Dem MP the quisling bitch wins over, she’ll lose two Tory MPs. The DUP will stand firm and Steptoe is likely to vote against it anyway, purely on the grounds it’s still a “Tory Brexit”, despite the fact it’s a Labour wet dream, about as far from Independence as it’s possible to get.

          • In Verminhofstadt’s case, very little further effort required in that direction. His specs seem to be made from the bottoms of champagne bottles.

          • In Verminhofstadt’s case, very little further effort required. His specs appear to be made out of the bottom of champagne bottles.

  3. Eurovision mong contest? Never seen it, duck shite like that knowing full well how crap it’ll be! Anything that the majority watch i know its in my best interests too swerve! Just a talent show for euro bumboys isnt it?

  4. Nil cunts.

    That’s pretty high up on the list of things that will never be heard.

  5. Can’t comment on Eurocrap. I last saw it when Pearl Carr & Teddy Johnson represented us, and I only saw it then because it was just before Mrs Boggs and I tied the knot and we were at her parents house. Her mother never liked me. I should have taken the hint in 1961. 58 years of hell.

  6. I’d like to see May and Hammond represent us and then bow and scrape around the judges arse holes before coming last and insisting it was a great result for Britain.

      • May would tell us she negotiated nul points and it was a great score for Britain.
        Steptoe would tell us him and Flabbot would be singing ‘Great big melting pot’ on behalf of Hamas and Palestine to try and score 1 point to beat the nasty tory scum.

  7. Let’s face it, Eurovision is not for straight people. And gay people aren’t known for a discerning taste in music, so it’s going to be shit. Brexit has been blamed for the U.K. coming last, though we have always been near the bottom, so that’s another load of remainer bollocks. In fact, the worse we do, the better, as it’s only shit that wins. And winning, like on the X factor and other shite talent shows, rarely translates into real success, as they will be forgotten before the jizz dries on Graham Norton’s chin,

    • They should award the winners a fortnight in Brunei as first prize.

    • Never occurred to me, but you’re right about The Gayness and decent music. Benjamin Britton and his wailing boyfriend Peter Pees, was it? ….obvious, really. And Wagner was a bit both ways, too.

      • Britton´s piece of fluff Peter Piers was such a precious luvvy that when he was on “Desert Island Disks” all the records he chose were of himself singing.

  8. They’ll be inviting America and Canada next, such is their desperation to be a global name!

    Just like the Champions League – a complete fucking misnomer given that in this year’s final neither actually won the Premier League.

    Complete and utter bollocks

  9. Watched and performed by limp wristed cunts. Who fucking cares who they let in?

  10. This insipid pile of dog shit ceased to be a contest 15-20 years ago!!
    Why the uk puts itself thru this absurd turdfest is completely beyond me!!
    Fuck the Eurovision non song contest!!
    There’s far better ways to spend our time and money ……..
    Personally I haven’t watched this crap since I was at school!!
    Nil points!! And fuck off ya cunts……
    and take that fucking bearded lady freak cunt with you…….

  11. In my experience there are 2 programmes on TV, besides soaps, that women will not miss. Eurocunt is one of them and I’m a Cunt Get Me Out of Here is the other. They absolutely love these 2 piles of shit and would rather die than miss out on them. Don’t ask me why but the marketing men know this just as well as I do.
    The same principle applies to poofs, obviously.

    • Properly LOL!!!
      Your absolutely right….. 😂😂😂
      Wankpuffery designed for the ladies

    • Well I don’t fucking like soaps, Get Me Out of This Fake Jungle Bollox nor the shiftiest of Eurovision and I’m a woman. Just cos they’re shit more likely means that they’re designed for the weak minded/ lowest common denominator regardless of dare I say it, gender!

    • My missus still watches Eurovision, but wouldn’t be seen dead watching Get Me Out Of Here. Then again she also watches the Londonistab Marathon, at least the first half hour or so.

      Actually I can’t think of a single programme we watch together, except Judge Judy occasionally. We have separate televisions, she watches her’s in the master bedroom, I watch mine in the spacious drawing room.

      • You’ll be watching the European Election results with the servants in their quarters of Creampuff Manor on Thursday Creampuff? Have to show solidarity with the workers while they give the Establishment a brief poke in the eye.

        • I believe the UK’s EU election results aren’t announced until Sunday evening …. that should give the ‘powers at be’ enough time to sift through them and make sure the correct result is in place …

        • Afternoon LL.

          When the results come through I will indeed be showing ‘solidarity’ downstairs with the servants, who incidentally comprise several East European cuties I was lucky enough to pick up via my junk mailbox whilst reviewing some equally tempting special offers for Viagra.

          Lady Creampuff will be watching in bed, snuggled up with the pair of 25 year old child migrants she selflessly adopted whilst in Calais last year, holidaying with Lily Allen.

    • Oddly, Nine Lessons & Carols from King’s seems to be much loved by da wimmin. Delia Smith swears by it (I believe she even watches it while shoving a load of her mince-pies up her twat every Christmas Eve), as does my ex (oddly, we remain on good terms. I’m not on any terms with Delia). King’s sounds more and more camp every year.

  12. Fucking Eurovision, it’s summed up by that cunt in a dress and a beard earfucking everyone for years,utter cunt fest…

  13. The only way I would ever watch Cuntovision is if Madogga was shown performing live in front of an Israeli firing squad…

    • madonna criticise israel recently or something norm? sorry i’m out of the loop I googled her name but nothing related came up

  14. Just step away from the television, cunters. Slowly, with your hands up. Then throw the fucking thing in a skip. It’s a major vector of mental illness and thermourinary trauma, as the ESC proves, and it needs to be declared a pest species, like pigeons.

    • I can’t stand cable tv its just wall to wall of adverts and repeat programs made for cunts. I only watch netflix or youtube nowadays the only upside of summer hot weather is I can tend to my garden when its too hot inside

    • “Thermourinary trauma” – love it. One to go along side Osteoinertia.

      Did I forget to say that even though I never watch it, I consider the Eurovision Pong Contest to be the greatest waste of, well, just about everything. Except of course, talent, cos there’s fuck all.

    • Which is more than can be said for Foster’s production process, which is possibly a case of the above-mentioned thermourinary trauma.

  15. I visited the family on the night so was forced to endure the torture of assorted bum bandits mincing and miming to the shittest “music” imaginable.
    It was pure torture.
    And did anyone see the state of maddogga?
    That retard really doesn’t understand how to bow out gracefully. The cunt was wearing an eye patch for fuck’s sake…. fuckin Gabrielle wannabe cunt.
    I recon its cultural appropriation. Stealing culture from people with a fucked up eye.
    And pirates.
    She was out of tune and there was a point there where I actually thought that I was going to be sick. …Though that could be been the beer. …And the 2 hours or so of mincing f@ggoyts that I had to endure beforehand.

    It’s inhumane.

    It costs about £25 million to produce too!
    Apparently the BBC donate a few hundred thousand pounds every year to enter. Just 1 more reasons that the beebistan are cunts.

    • Given the location it’s more likely the slag’s eyepatch was a nod to Moshe Dayan, a great Israeli hero responsible for kicking A-rab arse from here to next week. 😜

    • Wearing a eyepatch? geez that might even be worse then anti-semetism unless shes a pirate of course then the eyepatch might make sense.

      Can’t stand madonnas music doesn’t even come close to uk finest female singers

    • Well the Eurovision was full of satanic, illuminati, masonry symbolism. There were triangles everywhere, Madge’s eyepatch with an X on it. All of that is common symbolism for Satan etc. Do try and wake up 🙂

  16. Haven’t had a drop in 2 and a half weeks but due to stress, occasional bouts of depression and the funny hijinks of sargon akkad and clown world in general I thought I’d crack open a cold one cheers cunters

  17. A true contest for every dinner masher and confused would be woman,this years Bonus was some washed up cum Bucket sounding like some pissed up Jock reving up his Bagpipes. Fuckin train wreck.!

  18. The biggest pile of fucking shit on the planet.

    Everything that is wrong with being Europe on display for all to see.

    The rest of Europe fucking hate the UK so why do we continue to show up? Total humiliation. More total humiliation.

    • I agree willie but winning it would surely be a far bigger humiliation….

    • Madogdfart just went to prove that when you think you have scraped the bottom of the barrel, there is a lush, rich blanket of sediment yet to be harvested.

      Like a Prayer? Fuck me, more like a wing and a prayer. I thought she was heading for a thrombosis or an aneurysm judging by the way she heavy breathed her way through like a wildebeest having been chased by a tiger for a mile before realising it’s time (and the tiger’s dinner) was up.

      Guy Ritchie had a lucky escape.

  19. Off piste though still related to Europe/ twats/ music

    Nigel Kennedy is a cunt.

    “Brexit is racist” said Kennedy without realising that EU countries’ members….are the same race as us. Fucking Idiot.

    Kennedy had a safe, middle-class upbringing but somewhere along the way gelled up his hair and dirtied down his accent to sound more ‘street.’ We’ve heard these mockney pricks before, haven’t we Jamie “Cor Luv-a-duck” Oliver and Damon “it ain’t abaaat you joggers” Albarn.

    He’s released many classics albums of other people’s work which is akin to Celine Dion releasing an album of cover versions of good songs. He doesn’t compose anything. Vivaldi’s Four Seasons is magnificent but it’s Vivaldi who we should credit. Anything else is merely Violin karaoke.

    This twiddling orick already lives more in Poland (?) than the UK therefore when he makes jibes about “quitting Britain” it all sounds a bit empty.

    Tellingly, he HASN’T quit Britain. Off you fuck, Kennedy.

    • Didn’t Kennedy shack up with Mark E Smith (RIP) cast off, Brix?
      The Yoko Fucking Ono of The Fall…

      • I wonder what Mark E. Smith would’ve thought of Kennedy.
        “Get-err this Remain-err away, from ME! Lispy cockermee! Free Range.”

        • Nigel the fat chin prick, I remember a interview where Mark said he loathed Nigel for being a rich entitled spoon fed cunt and was irritate at the mention of brix

          Brixs marriage didn’t last long to Nigel I think it was 4 years if that if i remember right. Brix is best friends with Michelle Lineker says it all really shes pro eu of course

    • Like most remoaning cunts they never actually fucking go away!!
      They just hang around virtue signaling
      how fucking righteous they are….
      Fucking twats!

      • Kennedy always came across like you wouldn’t want to ask him to babysit. Creepy fucker.

    • A TV innerview with Ken Neddy’s muvva made HM Queen sound a dozy slapper, acc. Mr. Lewis-Smith.

      Mr. Neddy is married to a Pole, so is possibly an in-law of the odious little knobgoblin himself.

  20. In a week of bad news some light relief
    Lisping spiting faux cockney wanker Jamie Oliver’s restaurant chain has collapsed!!
    The bad news apparently 1000 people to lose their jobs?
    However the good news is 999 were Eastern European two Bob an hour merchants…..

      • The final straw came about with ISAC’s nomination for ‘Know Better Chefs’ and his customers insistence of Tomato Ketchup on the Quails egg ravioli.

        • I imagine brexit and racism is to blame. It probably had nothing to do with the ridiculous prices to eat there

  21. “Gawd blimey guvnor charlie o’Reilly
    I’m in a fucking 2 and 8”……

    “ Cock off wanker Your get no sympathy here you absolute cunt!!”

    • You’d be fucking 2 & 8 if you found yourself down to your last £240 million. 😂

        • Fing is, riight, Joolth wanth to ‘ave her thixth baby and it can get a bi’ pwithey, knowarramean geezer?

          ‘ow are we gonna thurvive, like, daaan to the final few millionth, eh? Ethpethially with blaady Breckthit! I love that Anna Thourberries.

          Ooh, yeth pleath, I’d adore a dab of butter on my parthnip, darling. Init.

          • I’d advise Joolth to thell her body, or at least rent it ahrt by the ahr.
            In case of hunger, eat surplus babies.

            Blubberlipped mockney caaaant.

          • He will of course blame Brexit!
            I’ve eaten once in a Jamie’s and it was absolute rubbish!
            Overpriced , shit service and no atmosphere……

          • Evening old pip

            Oliver is a lower-middle class buffoon whose attempts at high or low class are as successful as his tawdry restaurants. The man is an overgrown toddler with two slugs mating as a tongue.

          • You’ve eaten at Jamie’s restaurant Q?

            Respect mate… it must have taken a lot of courage to come out and admit that on this site. 😀

  22. What a week.
    Niki lauder’s family have insisted he will be cremated again. And Nigel Farage looks like he’s head of the Bukake Party.

  23. The only decent entry of recent was polands ‘Slavic girls’ which won the popular vote yet was overruled by metropolitan luvvies who gave it to Conchita Sausage.

    Gender weirdness and diversity crap.

  24. It’s just an excuse for no-influence pikey-inhabited shitpot countries like Slovenia, Azerbaijan and “not even a country” Belgium (credit Sir Nigel Farage) to pull the tail of countries like the UK that still wield some sort of power.
    A couple of hundred years ago, we’d have invaded the cunts just for being cheeky.
    Also an excuse for all the no-hope soy-boy z-list arse-tongueing fag “slebs” to bum eachother whilst waving the EU rag.
    A total cuntfest of ginagarous proportions which could easily be remedied with the deployment of a single Trident Titan D5 from the Channel………

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