Andy Murray (14)

Another nomination for that tiresome whinger, Mr Dynamic himself, Andy Murray. Now talking about how he might enter Wimbledon, but won’t succumb to any pressure to do so. The same tosser who wept like a baby a few months ago in front of the tv cameras when he announced his ‘retirement’ Nothing like a bit of publicity eh, you boring tosser.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

52 thoughts on “Andy Murray (14)

  1. He reminds me of those Fuckbook cunts who want a bit of desperate attention by writing in their status something like “Hi guys, I have to go to hospital now……” and leave it at that.

    The cunt will know friends will be curious and will reply with a “What’s up hon?” or “Oh no! Hope it isn’t serious? God bless and be strong!”

    Cunt will wait another few hours or a perhaps a day or two while getting incredibly excited at all the replies and likes coming through; and then not being able to hang back any longer he ejaculates an update with a “…it was just for a bruised toe. Am okay now though!”

    Lots of drama for very little effort, and thus we have Murray and yet another “I need more attention so here’s what I might do in order to get it!”

    Grow some bollocks and fuck off – for good!

    • And talking of attention seeking cunts, I see recent nom, Jess Phillips is still banging on about her “rape” ordeal in an interview with The Times a day or two ago.

      Don’t know the full story because its subscription-only, which is probably a good thing because she’ll be spinning so much VS bullshit (again!) that I would probably throw this laptop out of the window!

      Bogus cunt!

      • She’s effectively milking a throwaway gag made by an internet neckbeard over three years ago to propel her own standing as ‘victim’ for media backpats.

        The footage of her laughing her tits off in a meeting where the issue of make suicide was raised should quell any sympathy for the goat-faced, Timotei-dodging unwashed cunt.

        • She’s a prime cunt and a perfect example of what’s wrong with today’s victim obsessed, whinging, self obsessed political discourse. There a special place in the lowest circle of Dante’s hell for this obnoxious cunt.

          • As if anyone would want to rape her dirty minge in the first place. It probably smells like Billinsgate fish market.

    • I second that nomination! Fucking irritating Scots cunt! Makes no secret of the fact he hates the English, but grasped his knighthood tightly with both of his racket clutching claws! And why is the cunts Mum always speaking on his behalf? Listen, you Haggis noshing cunt, get it through your thick northern brain, all you do is travel the world knocking a ball about. You didn’t find a cure for any disease, so get your fat fucking swede out of your fucking ass! In a village inhabited only by cunts, this cunt would be the Village Cunt, and that’s swearing!

  2. To be fair, faced with a retirement full of his mother I’d be considering ruining a career by playing despite injury.
    I’d probably man up and eat a shotgun in the end though.
    Stop crying in public you pussy.

  3. > Cried like a cunt before the AO’19 that his body could not handle tennis anymore
    > Heavily implied AO’19 would be final slam tournament
    > After he lost his supposed final match, got narked at the farewell montage put together for him
    > Repeatedly gave cryptic suggestions to everyone that he may be back
    > Had an operation and stated ‘he should be back’
    > Trying to come back like nothing happened

    Almost like that Seinfeld episode where George tells his boss to fuck off and die and resigns on Friday, then later regrets it, and thinks he can just return like nothing happened on Monday morning.

    Murray’s spoilt brat and crybaby demeanour is, I believe, a direct consequence of his fucking shitcunt mother smothering the cunt. Name me one other tennis player (or any sportsman for that matter) whose mother accompanies them to every single fucking match, and often in the coach’s part of the entourage no less. I think her fame-whore intentions were made clear after the matriarchal cunt ended up appearing on Strictly Come Cunting.

    At least Henman had the resolve to keep his fucking emotions in check and didn’t participate in the blubbering, moaning, or SJW arsefoolery, and took his (many) defeats like a proper fucking grown man should.

    For my sins and derision, I am a massive tennis follower and used to have my own blog on it. I am also usually pathetically patriotic towards sporting teams/individuals who are British. So the fact that I always have and always will detest Andy Murray to the fucking core should be testament to what a mega-cunt this fucking specimen has grown into. Just fucking retire already you welcome-overstaying cunt.

    • Not being interested much in sport, the first I heard of Murray was when he said:

      “I’d support whoever England were playing against.”

      That blew up in his miserable SNP face, so later he back peddled with:

      “I am not anti-English, and I never was.” 🤣


  4. I’ve actually come round to rather respecting Murray.

    Although not the most naturally talented player he, through sheer hard work and determination,managed to drag British tennis out of the doldrums. I think that he’s earned a final Day in the Sun at Wimbledon,a chance for British tennis fans to thank him.

    Sue Barker is a leathery old Cunt.

    • I’d rather thank him by him fucking off into oblivion and taking his twin-shitcunt pairing of mother and wife with him.

      Sue Barker is no longer fucking capable of talking for any length of time without giggling like a fucking simpleton. Cliff Richard had a lucky escape from that cunt.

      • The only good thing Barker ever did for me was to look up her white pleated skirt when Wimbledon was on the box back in the 70s – she was pretty shit (and I always imagined she was having a lezzer affair with Virginia Wade), but had a nice tight arse as I recall!

        • Let’s face it though chap – tennis wank fuel starts and ends with Gabriela Sabatini.

          At Wimbledon 1991 I genuinely didn’t know whether to cheer or feverishly toss myself off.

          • I bet there was lots of lezzer stuff going on in those changing rooms – the likes of Tracey Austin, Sabatini, Martina, of course; and then came that annoying young grunter Monica Seles!

            Lots of first serves and dildo swapping no doubt.

            The sordid dreams of youth!

          • Chris Evert, was my wank-fantasy back in the late 70s – that is until she got hitched to that John Llloyd cunt

          • Christ. I’ve blasted my lineage into the trusty wank flannel over many an unconventional-looking woman, but it would need to be a very fucking desperate time in my life before I ever considered unsheathing the sword over Martina fucking Navratilova.

          • Quoting Chubby Brown on this “how is it we can get a man on the moon, but we can’t get one on Martina Navratilova “

          • @ Cuntflap..”.It would appear we all have bad days…”

            You’ve obviously been luckier in your women than me over the years. I’d pound that til her hips turned to talcum-powder and sparks were flying out of her arse.
            Even in that photo,she still holds more allure for me than some of the lucky slappers who I’ve been up.

          • Nothing wrong with high standards good sir. Also the pretense of disinterest seems to ignite a peculiar determination in them.

    • There wasn’t that many up and coming British players to choose from: Murray was there at the right place right time.

      Always amuses me how the LTA have banged on for donkey’s years about ploughing substantial amounts of money back into grassroots tennis, and yet we have next to fuck all to show for it, other than the odd turd floating to the top once on a blue moon – like Murray

      • Q.What do Murray, Henman and Rusedski have in common?

        A. The LTA had ZERO to do with their development.

        Murray reared in Spain, Rusedski adopted Canadian in adulthood and Henman was traned in some weird off-shoot independent from the LTA.

        The best the LTA have to show for the millions of millions of pounds of investment in the last 20 years is fucking Kyle Edmund who is a vastly inferior version of Henman, That’s it.

        • And isn’t than Konta woman an Aussie? Played for Australia for a few years and then all of a sudden became British national just like that, and has played for Britain ever since.

          Can’t we produce any fucking home talent?

      • The Empire Cunts Back may know better than me being a tennis fan just how much the LTA helped the Murrays, but must admit that I always thought that they actually got very little in the way of assistance from the LTA.
        I could well be wrong.

  5. Sorry DF but a cunts a cunt regardless of how much effort he’s put into making himself a cunt.Next he’ll be getting an invite off you to drink Pimms at Fiddler towers.
    Have you had an unfortunate accident and banged your head,you’re really not thinking straight.

    • Oh, I never said that I liked him,CF. No doubt that he is a dour Cunt,but in an Age where “celebrity-for-nothing” is the preferred choice of so many young people,he is an example of what sheer hard graft can achieve.
      I wouldn’t begrudge him one last chance to lap up the adulation that so many of the Wimbledon crowd seem to have for him…although,I must admit that I won’t be applying for tickets myself.
      I don’t like him,but I respect him and what he has achieved.

      • True – I also respect his achievements; just a shame that the man himself is a complete and utter cunt

      • Valid point, DF. In the age of instant fame either via Social Meeja or on one of those bloody reality TV shows, Murray’s work ethic and hatred of losing is something to be commended.

        Unlike his utter hypocrisy in making a last-minute plea to the Jocks to vote YES to split up the United Kingdom while being pleased to accept a Kinghood from the Queen. The cunt.

  6. All tennis players are cunts but Aussie tennis players must surely take the cunt cake.
    Nick ‘the dagoe cunt’ Kyrgios, Bernard ‘the yugo cunt’ Tomic and Lleyton ‘married my lezzo sister’ Hewitt.

    • Don’t forget

      Mark ‘I’m Aussie but Greek but Aussie’ Phillippoussis

      Pat ‘Sorry Mate’ Rafter

      And the hilariously named Thanasi ‘Cock and Knackers’ Kokkinakis.

  7. Andy Murray has always been a cunt, before he won anything, after he won a few in the big time and after his injury problems.
    He has developed his cuntishness for being a whinging bad boy to a whinging bollockless tart.
    Once a cunt, always a cunt
    More cunts still in the news today, media still going on about Danny Baker (driven by the usual crew), Jess Phillips fucking super victim and more bollocks about the fucking ginger/black sprog.


    • I wouldn’t mind, but that Danny Baker tweet wouldn’t even make the top 1,000 cuntish things he’s done this week.

    • Baker gets interviewed by the old bill; and yet nothing is said when Lammy opened his racist gob calling white Brexiteers nazis!

      It’s a funny old fucked up world!

  8. Andy Murray’s relationship with his mother is reminiscent of that between Timothy Lumsden and his overbearing mother in Sorry.

  9. *** BREAKING NEWS ***

    Some cunt who was married to Quincy Jones for 16 years has carked.

    • cue outpouring of fake grief from the usual desperate celeb crowd as per my “obituaries” nom.

      Lammy will no doubt be grief stricken too because he knew someone who knew someone who knew someone who opened a door for Jones’ 13 years ago.

  10. Call me wrong, but I have always wanted to sponge him down in a post match shower…

  11. The dour fucking cunt is probably entering Wimbledon because his batshit blitzkrieg mumsy has told him too… The man is as soft as an apres-vindaloo turd…

  12. A close friend lives in Claygate, I often visit his family for extended weekends. They have an insanely energetic young Cockerpoo dog (not for me…), but happily there’s a wide choice of country walks on their doorstep.

    A favourite is: out through the snicket at the end of his cul-de-sac onto the common, then over the A3 arterial road into the Prince’s Coverts. We usually light up a nice fat spliff as we skirt Chessington “World of BullshitAdventure”, and thence meander over to Oxshott, for a few in The Bear. Although this Young’s pub is a bit tacky, it is dog-friendly, unlike most of the alternatives. We were there a fortnight ago, and watched the national embarrassment that is the London Marathon.

    What might these aimless ramblings have to do with the nom, I hear you ask. Well, quite a bit, as it goes. Not only Andy Murray, but also Tim Henman live in palatial mansions on the edge of the Coverts. Oxshott is, behind closed doors, a hotbed of tennis-playing, wife-swapping, upper-middle-class swingers, and Andy and Tim are the jewel in the crown.

    More successful than most at tennis, Mr Murray caused quite a kerfuffle recently, and raised a few eyebrows; planning permission was finally granted last January for a quite monstrously egregious swimming pool and gym complex at his Surrey home.

    Whilst I agree with Mr Fiddler’s sentiments, at the same time I share Empire’s visceral and instinctive dislike – nay! loathing – of this perforce detestable, scrotal-sac-headed cunt and his woefully hideous, vainglorious Fife fishwife of a mother. His stupidly long neck, and penchant for tooth-bearing grimacing and air-horn-chain-pulling horseshit each and every time the cunt wins a point reminds me of a particularly punchable tennis-playing version Max Headroom.

    I do share Empire’s patriotism, but wholly irrespective of Murray’s loathesomely hypocritical ScotsNat proclivities, I dearly hope this unconscionablly and fantastically irritating cunt crashes and burns one last time at Wimbledon.

    As a delicious dénoument, we might thereafter look forward to him drowning in his new swimming-pool (after several years of spiralling downhill on marching powder and alcohol), perhaps in a latter-day Michael Barrymore-esque scenario.

    Andy Murray is, like him or loathe him, undeniably the very Apollo and Zeus in the firmament of Übercunts.

  13. Andy Murray is a cunt.

    I can think of no more obvious definition of a tautology.

    Andy Murray is Scottish cunt. Is that a double or triple tautology?

    Just trying to raise the tone you cunts.

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