A school’s budget

A school’s budget…is a total cunt. Parents forced into buying books and pencils for pupils and head teachers cleaning their own school toilets, that’s the codswallop being dished out by head teachers in the news, all a result, we’re told, of ‘insufficient government funding’. What utter cunt! What you’re never told is the salaries budget of your typical local school is often 80-90% of its total budget. Salaries that go up every year with increments to which most teachers are automatically entitled. No wonder there’s no fucking money for other supplies and services! Compare that with 18-50% spent on salaries in the private sector. When Blair got in and made schools awash with utilities windfall-cash schools exploded with staff, almost without exception totally useless cunts. Kids seem unhappy? Then employ a counsellor in your school. Got a lot on teaching your own class? Have 10% of your working week taught by someone else so you can do preparation. Too many kids for you to cope? Here, have a teaching assistant. Where the fuck did all these people come from? It’s no wonder school budgets are so totally fucked up. Solution? Moan like cunts and not do what any business has to do when there’s belt-tightening, i.e. let someone go. Simple fact is one person’s salary in any average school would pay for any shortfall. What? Downsize slightly? Fat fucking chance of that. Like all our bloated and cunt-infected institutions education is like a giant baby with its bottle. You feed it but it demands more and more as it grows, a bigger and bigger bottle. Threaten to give it the bottle it had last year and it screams like a stuck-cunt that it’s going to die. Fuck off, headteachers. You and your budgets are cunts!

Nominated by Zippy

36 thoughts on “A school’s budget

  1. Insightful topic, kudos.

    Family members have similarly reported such matters, including a school wasting money on ‘consultants’ for IT rather than employing proper, full time maintenance staff and another using a third-party to maintain the extensive boiler rooms after sacking all the janitors.

    A big part of the problem, touched on by the cunting above, is that schools are increasingly being asked to take on roles that parents can’t be fucking bothered to do themselves – breakfast, counselling, relationships advice, even fucking providing dinners in some cases. This in turn has given rise to every leech possible sucking upon the publicly-funded teats of school budgets.

    And it galls me seeing the pay that teachers get, knowing a disproportionate number of people from my own University days going into the profession. I can think of at least 8-10 fuckers I knew personally who went into teaching despite having sub-standard degrees (2:2 or worse). One cunt got a Third in Chemistry but still got a job teaching fucking mathematics due to a cited shortage of recruitment in that subject during the mid-2000s.

    There used to be a slogan a few years back on advertising campaigns – ‘Those Who Can, Teach’ – having seen and known the calibre of them first-hand, it’s a fucking joke.

    • Those who can’t (get a job anywhere else ’cause they’re useless lazy fucking left-wing cunts) teach, more like…..

    • The original quote was:

      “He who can, does; he who cannot, teaches”

      (George Bernard Shaw 1903)

      The Government twisted Shaw’s words for their own recruitment ends. Quite Orwellian actually.

      • Most of the public have probably never heard of GBS, let alone what he said.

  2. Personally, I refuse to join The Great Race To The Bottom and shimf about teachers pay (and holidays), if I wanted their terms and conditions, I’d train to be one. What DOES fuck me off is having to pay for books, printing etc, all things that should be provided as part of the childs education. Or am I being a tight old cunt?

  3. I know the FE Sector well (teaches 16-18s in the main but the ‘adult education/ night school’ curriculum has disgracefully been decimated by cuts). Whilst I agree with the general thrust of this cunting, the picture is slightly more nuanced than that.

    The flat rate per capita funding has been frozen at £4,000 for nearly a decade and with other insidious cuts around the edges colleges and school 6th forms actually receive much less in cash terms per student than they did in 2010. Factor in a declining age demographic, and huge increases in unavoidable pension contributions, national insurance and inflation and Houston they have a problem. Staff pay has been effectively frozen for those on top of scale for a decade with occasional non-consolidated 0.5% bonuses (wow!) awarded if a college can just about afford it. I’m amazed the staff tolerate it.

    The real scandal in education is that whilst FE, as well as teaching the majority of the nation’s AL students, engineers, plumbers, nursery nurses and care workers etc is scrimping for cash, the bloated University sector is overfunded and mostly churning out too many graduates we don’t want in subjects we don’t need and accruing debts that will never be repaid. And guess who’s fault that is? Yep – step forward Tony fucking Blair yet again.

  4. Education has always been a political football but it’s current rapid decline began with the introduction of the GCSE in 1987. It was prizes for all after that. Exams were made easier year on year during the Blair years to produce massively improved results, more and more unsuitable cunts going to university and coughing up more and more money for the privilege.
    Combine that with the erosion of any kind of authority, both in the “family” and in schools, and the emphasis on libtard values, plus the huge number of immo children and you have a guaranteed shitfest. Empire is bang on about young teachers. They are all products of the Blairite system, their lack of basic knowledge and inability to learn things they haven’t been “taught” is fucking shocking.
    Still, they are better than the Iron Curtain and African cunts who are moving in.
    Why do you think the government is spending millions on advertising teaching on the tv and radio? Because no cunt wants to do it……”every lesson shapes a life.”…….don’t make me fucking laugh.
    If you want your child to have a proper education you have to pay for it. It might stop them getting stabbed too.

    • Spot on Sir!
      The thing is, that in the increasingly libtard world (with possitive discrimination being rife), will paying for a private education create a dissadvantage for the little cherrubs later in life?
      My eldest (10) is super smart and we’re stuck with a huge decision:
      1) send him to the shitty local secondary and run the risk that he runs out of steam
      2) put him forward for a scholarship for a top-notch education, but run the risk of him being discriminated against because of it. The poor lad’s already White, English and Straight, so he wouldn’t stand a chance of a place at say Oxford with a private education too

  5. All parents should have 10% of their gross income taken off them for every child that they have in education. Those parents who are on benefits 15% because their children will undoubtedly come with a wide range of “problems”,not that there is really much point in trying to educate that type,anyhow. Better to put them to a trade and be done with it.
    Schools should go back to the basics..Reading,Writing and Arithmetic with a bit of British history and geography thrown in.Sport would be compulsory,but only cricket in the summer and rugby in the winter. No common sports which encourage the Chav mentality. Class sizes should also be doubled. One teacher easily used to control 40-50 children when corporal punishment was allowed,so I would,of course,reintroduce it as a matter of urgency.
    Schools could also save money by just teaching girls cooking,sewing and the bare minimum needed to run a household,anything else is unnecessary. Female teachers,unless bitter old Biddies,should also be sacked…”empathy” and “understanding”,indeed…too much empathy and understanding is half the problem with today’s brats….Spare the rod and spoil the child, I believe.
    School meals are also an area where savings could be made. Lazy mothers should damn well do their jobs and provide food for their offspring,Fuck knows,they get plenty of child benefit. If they are too idle,well hunger is a sharp thorn and will encourage their children to leave education and get a fucking job…saving both on education costs and benefits.

    I’d also sack any teacher who allowed the children to call him by his first name or didn’t wear a gown and mortarboard to teach his classes. That would thin the Fuckers out,as would sacking any female(or,even worse,male) teacher who took maternity leave. They are only adding to the problem by having children and display totally the wrong attitude to be a successful educator. Teachers should dislike children,not breed even more of them.

    Add return to chalkboards to my measures and you’ll find that I could certainly help schools cut costs.

    Fuck Off.

    • Some nice ideas Mr Fiddler. I take it you are an avid follower of “The Bash Street Kids” in The Beano?
      The trouble is, what are you going to do about the gay kids, the trannies and the non-binaries? As I recall, they weren’t in The Beano.

      • No gay kids in the Beano? What about Walter the softy and Minnie the butch rug munching Minx?

        Not to mention degenerates like Keyhole Kate!

      • “The trouble is, what are you going to do about the gay kids, the trannies and the non-binaries?”…..I’d obviously isolate them immediately to prevent the spread of The Gayness. They,and their negligent parents,would be sent to Manliness Camps where they could be taught that their attention-seeking antics will not be tolerated in a civilised Society.
        I suspect that The Gayness and it’s associated Bumfoolery would become rather less popular if the sufferers realised that their “OOH, Look at me,everyone” mentality would have serious consequences.

      • Fucking brilliant as normal Dick Fiddler.
        You’re spot on about us parents paying per child, so we fucking should. Me and Mrs Blimpo get mithered constantly about having a third or more, “absolutely fucking not” is our response, why? because we work and the little cherrubs cost us a fucking fortune, we have a 20 year window after this parenting lark to provide for our retirement and any more kids would surrender that.

        School dinners are shit by the way. Too much Jamie fat-fuck Oliver (ticking the 5 a day for shit parents who shovel only macdonalds down their necks) and not enough mash and beans.
        Feed them mash and beans at school and we’ll balance their diet at home, where we can make sure they fucking eat it.

    • Some first rate values here, proper schooling, the basics are essential reading writing and arithmetic.
      Kids dont need to know ‘life skills’ until they are in the final years at school and fucking discipline is the key, they need to learn to do as they are told from a young age.
      Mobile phones should be banned from school full stop and parents should be made responsible for turning their kids out clean, dressed correctly and well fed.
      Schools are for education not social work! That would help the budget CUNTS!

    • I’m onboard, Mr. Fiddler. I am all in favour to making the people who use the system, pay for it. I am sick and tired to having my hard earned taken from me by force to help pay to educate other people’s fucking children.

      Over here in Yankland it is absolutely grotesque what goes on with fucking school financing. You buy a house with your own (taxed) money and just for having the audacity to own a property, you get a massive fucking great bill from the local school district demanding you give them thousands of dollars!!!!!! It really boils my piss. I wasn’t educated in America, have never attended any educational establishment in the US and do not (and never will) have any children who will. So why am I being forced to subsidise something I don’t use, don’t want and have absolutely no interest in? Just get your fucking hands out of my wallet you bastards!

      Fucking kids: consumers of everything, producers of nothing.

      • Isn’t educating the population supposed to be for the benefit of us all FFS?

        I’ll get my coat.

        PS: I don’t have sprog.

      • Hi RTC –

        Yeah, I sometimes hear that argument (or at least a variation of it) when I rant about being forced to subsidise other people’s fucking kids’ education. My point is, there’s no accountability, no choice in the matter AND the bill is based upon a % of the value of the property you buy. So you buy a bigger/nicer house and you end up paying MORE to the fucking school district. Meanwhile, low life free housing welfare scrounging scum churn out kids like it’s going out of fashion and pay nothing towards educating their feral offspring. The same offspring that cause havoc, vandalism, theft, higher car insurance premiums for everyone….the list goes on. And people like us are supposed to smile sweetly, hand over our cash and feel proud we’re investing in the future generation? Bollocks to that!

        The variation in your argument that I hear most is a better educated society leads to a more affluent, peaceful and lower crime environment which everyone benefits from. OK then, if my car is broken into and the cunts are caught, I should be able to sue the living shit out of the school district responsible for not educating the cunts better. How’s that going to work out? Precisely.

        The other one I hear is, ‘but you’re helping to educate someone that one day might save your life’. OK then, let’s say I’m not forced to subsidise the education system and if some cunt ends up saving my life 20 years later, I’ll buy him/her a yacht when that happens. How about that?

        This is such a sore subject for me because I was fortunate enough for my parents to scrape together enough money to send me to a fee paying grammar school for O and A levels. We were not well off. Parents didn’t drink, smoke, have expensive hobbies, never went anywhere or even had a particularly nice car and we as a family, never ever went on holiday. The very occasional Chinese takeaway was about as good as it got regarding treats or ‘luxuries’. So my parents were taxed to help pay into the local comprehensive that I never went to and they paid school fees. So they effectively paid twice. Not good.

        Here’s another example of how this bullshit works over here. This happened several years ago, but it still happened. A local high school decided that it wanted to be more competitive at (American) football. So the school board decided to invest in its football programme by hiring a top of the line coach. I heard this would cost $1M/year. As a result, everyone’s property taxes went up to pay for it, voted by……..fucking parents!

        If the people who used the system (i.e. parents) paid more into it and the people who don’t use it (i.e. non-parents/retirees/etc.) paid less, I’d have an easier time dealing with the extortion.

      • Hi IY.

        Thank you for your remarkably comprehensive reply, you’ve obviously given this matter a huge amount of thought. I on the other hand have given the subject virtually fuck all thought at all.

        Can’t help thinking though that the quality of a country’s education to a large extent lays the groundwork for its standard of living and success on the world stage or summat.

        But quite frankly my dear IY, I don’t give a damn.

        Unfortunately the last 10 years or so has left me feeling a terrible sense of foreboding. Not sure about the States but this country is finished imho. That useless bag of shit cunt Mavis May has just been up on her cloven hooves again trying to fool Parliament into signing up to the EU’s Vassal State Agreement for the FOURTH fucking time! It’s all too depressing for words. Then again maybe it’s just me. I hate what this country and the rest of Europe has become, and it’s my generation that’s responsible.

        Apologies for going off on one IY, hope your cats are well, ours are fine and blissfully ignorant of the shit that’s about to hit the fan, like a lot of the zombie cunts that infest this basket case land. Regards to you and Mrs Yank, and the Donald…

      • Because you LIVE there you fucking dick!!! Everyone is in the same boat ffs!! Kids or no kids!!!

    • Waste is truly rampant in schools. However, you have to look outside the schools at the layers of bureaucracy and administration to see where sweeping cuts could be made.’Advisors’ to schools do fuck all to improve standards and that fuckin’ parasitic body OFSTED is a huge drain on the system. The head of OFSTED, the previously cunted Amanda Spielman has never even taught for Christ’s sake!

      All these creatures come under the umbrella of “those who can teach, teach. Those who can’t, teach teachers”

  6. I had one of the best education’s new money could buy, back in the 80s. Got kicked out and I was plumbing washing machines for 90 quid a week.

    I look at schools and education generally now with a chill in my bone. You notice it in anyone that was ‘educated’ post 1997. They literally don’t know anything. But they all sing from the same songsheet- immigration great, eu great, etc.

  7. A great cunting by Zippy and apologies for going off piste so early in the cunting proceedings, but, check out this little article; it has raised the temperature of my urine to 100 degrees C in just a few moments…

    “Chuka Umunna has called for Article 50 to be revoked, as he claimed there was insufficient time for a second referendum before the Brexit deadline in October.

    The change in strategy from Change UK’s spokesperson comes after multiple polls showed the newly-formed party struggling to gain ground in the polls ahead of this week’s European elections.

    In what appeared to be an attempt to distinguish the party from other pro-European groups, the ex-Labour MP said: “I have come to the view that we are now at the point where we are going to need to revoke Article 50.”

    Speaking to the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show, Mr Umunna continued: “The way to resolve this impasse is to refer it back to the people. The simple fact right now is we do not have time do a People’s Vote before 31 October.”

    “What would be undemocratic is to impose a no-deal Brexit on this country which there is not a mandate for. All the polls show the majority of people want to remain in the European Union.””

    Fuck off you, undemocratic, Malteser-headed cunt and take your pet witch, Sourflaps with you. The majority of people want to remain in the European Union. Really? We’ll see after Thursday’s voting what a spectacular, bald cunt you really are, Chucky.

    • There is time for chucky and his mates to stand down and trigger bi elections, now that is democracy!
      They are all CUNTS!

    • He should have said “All the polls, that I have deliberately chosen, show…….” etc.

  8. These remoaner fuckers can’t shock me anymore. Their arrogant bare faced lies and general cuntery just washes over me now. There is nothing they won’t say or do to save their beloved E fucking U.
    Chucky would sell his own mother to a bunch of Roma pikeys, the cunt.

  9. Who’s got Nikki Lauda in the Deadpool?

    Sure I’ve seen his name there.

    Gone at the age of 70.

  10. I have some sympathy with the state schools.

    Inadequate funding for most schools, especially those outside of London. This fucking useless shitheap of a government say there is just not enough money available but magically have enough when it suits them for “more important” matters.

    Our children are the future of this country and what can be more important than that?

    The schools have to suffer with all this fucking PC nonsense regarding this gay sex education nonsense.

    They also have to deal with the results of poor parenting and are often held responsible for this.

    The sheer number of immigrants now means that schools are full of children who CANNOT SPEAK THE FUCKING LANGUAGE, and have to deal with the parents who also CANNOT SPEAK THE FUCKING LANGUAGE. Sonetines up to 12 nationalities in the same school year.

    They also have to contend with knife crime, pushy parents, Peacefuls and their demands, drug peddling and private well off schools continually trying and often succeeding to pinch their best teachers.

    It’s only going to get worse.

    Like I said earlier I have sympathy for state schools at the current time.

  11. Schools never shop around for suppliers. They just stick with the same supplier, even if they’re getting ripped off. The taxpayer pays for everything so it’s fine. As for where these jobs come from. The Guardian’s jobs section is full of examples of overpaid roles for lefty cunts.

  12. FE’s been abominably treated, agree with Isaac Hunt, above. From personal experience as a student, the staff are worth every penny, and if I had the spare cash, I’d fund an FE college personally. That position is down to (a) Thatcher’s rollback of productive industry and (b) Blair’s fetishisation of a useless university education for 50% of school leavers. Sorry, I got that wrong. For (b) read (a) and vice versa.

    I was astonished, on leaving an FE full-time access-to-university year for HE, how much lower standards were and how much less work was required in the latter. Even so, I can’t slag HE lecturers: most have to produce a quota of research results as well as teaching, within a stifling fug of micromanagement. Six published papers a year or fuck off appears to be the norm even for senior staff, and writing an academic paper isn’t a walk in the intellectual park. Most haven’t even time to get into the lab to do what they thought they were signing up for, much as they want to – that’s the province of postgrad students on lousy little grants. This refers only to the sciences, btw. Of the utterly unproductive arts and their contribution to the end of civilisation I will remain silent…

    Primary and secondary teachers? I suspect it varies a lot. Some definitely earn their pay, and work all hours – the majority of their time is not in front of an often undisciplinable class, but meticulously ticking management boxes, planning courses and curricula…and worrying about their pupils. Some probably skive, backstab for cushier numbers and all the other things that happen in the rest of the world.

    Personally, I wouldn’t teach secondary classes for a fortune…and that’s why ‘underqualified’ teachers often have to be recruited. Not that you require an Oxbridge First in quantum chromodynamics to get across the elements of GCSE Maths.

    Should you pay for books &c? Well, one way or the other, you’re going to, via your taxes, via private school fees or buying them directly for the kids. Yes, but should you? Answer, of course you bloody should. They’re your kids, why should I pay for their education?

  13. The govt found £100 billion for the bankers yet can’t find enough cash to fund education. Every cunt can moan about it because they have had experience of it, my sister is a teacher and I wouldn’t do her job for love nor money. Fuckwitt kids left to fester by parents who can’t even be arsed to wash their clothes or feed them or over entitled parents and their kids who want private education at state school prices.

    Remember – All those people who used to appear on Jeremy Kyle (before they topped themselves) were once in front of a teacher. No wonder nobody wants to do it. Even with a £30,000 tax free bursary to train and all the holidays. Fancy it, I don’t.

  14. I have 4 kids all in school i work every fucking hour God sends and i ask no one for anything, nothing worse than cunts with no kids jibbering on about something they know fuck all about. Fuck off.

  15. My sister in law was a bursar at a primary school. In the last year she was asked to budget for the teachers annual increments. Given the cuts over the last few years there was no money at all. Solution? Cut 4 support staff to pay for the increments.
    If the support staff were so easily disposed of then why the fuck were they even employed? But equally something stank in the fact that 4 poorly paid staff got canned just to pay for the increments. Incidentally annual increments something lost from the private sector about 20 years ago. But hey, it’s the public sector right. A bottomless pit of cash and a ‘business’ that can never go bankrupt.
    Incidentally the headteacher swanned off into retirement at 50 on a nice pay pension topped up by her £100k salary.
    What a joke.

  16. Blame the spongers in society for lack of money in the NHS, or schoolbooks for kids. The biggest group of spongers are muslims. Only 1 in 5 has a job for Christs sake!

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