David Sedaris

Becoming a Wireless 4 favourite, threatening to become as long running and boring as The Listening Project and The Archers, is this 62 year old American *humourist* who is, of course, a member of The Gayness Tendency, and is currently mincing his way through his 7th series, in a camp. limp-wristed and fey voice before a simpering studio audience, who are no doubt there because it is “cool” to see an American pansy performing in a London garden. He sounds like a New England retired schoolmarm.

I could give you a link to this wildly unfunny show, but in doing so I would probably upset the BBCs sensibilities re copyright, instead I give a list of some of his “hilarious” sounding book titles:

Me talk pretty one day. 2000.
Dress your family in corduroy and denim. 2004.
Children Playing Before a Statue of Hercules (editor, 2005)
When You Are Engulfed in Flames (2008)
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary (2010)
Let’s Explore Diabetes With Owls (April 2013)

I am sure all these books come with a free pair of rubber knickers in case the reader pisses him/herself.

This pretentious old queen has only really been in the public eye since 1994 and on Wireless 4 since 2010, so obviously quantity is more important than quality to this smug, self satisfied middle class bender, but you have to wonder, with so many hopeless unemployed comics of our own why the BBC find it necessary to import (probably at a very high price) cheap unskilled American labour. What a cunt the BBC are and what a cunt Sedaris is for taking money to recite stories – he and they sound as genuine as a dud halfpenny.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

57 thoughts on “David Sedaris

  1. Never heard of the cunt. Whats his stories like? Diabetic owls sounds sad. Not arsed about him being a bandit but yanks always come across as bit special needs to me? Every day i thank god im a englishman, the nearest thing to being god!

      • And a half-dozen peacefuls crossing the English Channel on a dinghy is five numbers plus the bonus ball.

      • On a triple roll over week!!
        My dream job? Immigration officer anywhere on the south coast of England!!
        “ so mr tansy bango where exactly do you come from?”

        “Have you got a shred of documentation to substantiate your claim? No!! Nothing whatsoever? , Adios mr banjo “ 😂

  2. I told my children from a very early age that every day they woke up they were to thank the good Lord (who is obviously an English chap) that they weren’t born American and had won the lottery of life at being English.
    Wondered why I bothered now, country has been well and truly rogered up the sabotch. Sad.

  3. If they want a gay American comic (and Jew) why don’t they try Dave Rubin?…

    oh, he doesnt say the right sort of funny things.

  4. Just a general comment, but why do these people simply *have to, darling* let the world know of their peccadilloes, i.e. they like either riding the salami or pushing poo uphill. I really see no bearing on how this should make anyone ‘special’.

    I am heterosexual. So fucking what – it really is a complete irrelevance what I am.

    Utter honking bollocks.

    • Very much this.

      If the most interesting thing about you is what you like to do with your ‘bits’, you really are quite a tedious and unremarkable cunt.

    • Same here. Reminds me of something, can’t remember who said it.
      ‘They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They’re not laughing now.’

      • In the trailer for his most recent series he nicked one of Kenny Everett’s jokes. As I recall it was Sid Snot’s story about the couple in their 90s who’d just got divorced, because they wanted to wait until the children died. Not that funny in itself but amusing when Everett did it – he at least had good comic timing. Sedaris manifestly doesn’t and thus made the made the whole farrago about as funny as a dose of piles. Plus he sounds like Joe Pesci’s gay brother.

      • Now thete was a proper comedian, CS.
        Rattled them off more quickly than a gun-toting Musquito on his way to Virgin Valhalla.

  5. Mincing old iron,this one.

    Oh, and Emily Thornberry needs to fuck off. She has made some turgid statements about the Donald today.

    Fuck off Lady Nugee.

  6. Child held near cliff edge at Seven Sisters, near Eastbourne, Sussex prompts warning

    A man was spotted lifting a child o peer over the cliff edge at Seven Sisters, Sussex.

    The National Trust has warned people to “act sensibly” after pictures emerged of a man holding a child inches from an unstable cliff edge.

    In 2017, 50,000 tonnes of the cliff crumbled and fell to the beach below.

    The following day a 23-year-old South Korean tourist fell to her death when she jumped in the air for a picture and lost her footing on the edge.

    Others were also seen near the edge and the Trust spokeswoman said: “It isn’t safe to stand or sit on the cliff edge.”

    “The cliffs are unstable in places and there are undercuts in the chalk, which people may be unaware of from the top.”

    “We advise visitors to act sensibly.” There are permanent signs in place warning people of the danger.”

    All prime candidates for the Darwin Awards, those who are contributing to the evolution of mankind, by taking their genes out of the gene pool.

    Stupid fuckers deserve everything they get.

  7. It is a democracy. We all have a choice….we can turn rubbish this off or over to another channel.

    It’s a bloody good thing that we don’t have to pay for this sort of crap.

    Hang on a minute…….

  8. Off point but pretty funny…..
    bald wanker and the ironically named lord Adonis? 😂 has called farages Brexit party “ far right”?
    Like farage or loathe him, if you voted leave or remain you should be disgusted by the fucking bald wanker Adonis,s desperate bid to smear farages Brexit party who’s aim is to actually inact a democratic decision made the UK electorate! Unlike absolute sack of shit remain at all cost Adonis!! …
    Adonis you really are a two bob pound shop Blair!! Fuck you…….

    • Adonis has been peddling lies like that and worse on a daily basis for the last 3 years.

      He is the Remoaners Liar in Chief.

      • Evening RTCP….
        Adonis is a cunts cunt!
        Other cunts look up to Adonis and think” that’s what I’m aiming for” ….
        When you see him on TV he’s not even credible, Like cable he’s just transparent……..
        To call the Brexit party “ far right”? Is absurd! Anybody with a double digit IQ should be able to see what a complete cunt Adonis is……..
        Just shows how rattled the Brexit deniers are…….

      • Evening Q.

        From what I’ve seen and heard, Adonis does the Remain argument far more harm than good. Farage wiped the floor with him last time they debated.

      • The daft fuck has challenged annunziata Rees mogg to a debate ?
        She will dance rings around the geriatric fossil…….

      • After the referendum labour via starmer issued their 6 point Brexit check list?
        Customs union?
        Exactly the same single market access
        Ditto workers and environmental standards?
        So basically EU membership!! You disingenuous cunts!! When that couldn’t be delivered your screamed foul!!
        Labour have taken their 5 million voters who backed leave for absolute fools…

  9. Q. Why does the BBC keep bringing the cunt back?
    A. Because he looks like John Birt. Because the Lake Woebegone cunt fucked off and possibly died, leaving a vacuum for faux self-deprecation. Because half the BBC is (a) gay and (b) foreign* and those are two of Sedaris’ three topics. The third is picking up litter from roadside verges, which he would be far better employed doing fulltime. A cunt.

    *He is not, however, Jewish. Ortho/Prod parents.

  10. “Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary (2010)” indeed…..more likely ” Doctor Seeks Traumatised Gerbil: A Gay Tale.

    I’ve never heard of the Cunt, but he’s obviously another who has chosen a life of debauchery and corruption in a desperate attempt to gain some attention. Nobody is born Gay, it is a choice. Any person considering adopting the Gay lifestyle because they feel the need to be noticed should instead take up a passtime that will give them the attention that they crave…bungee-jumping from a hot-air balloon, swimming with the piranhas up the Orinoco. climbing Everest using nitrous oxide instead of oxygen etc. The possibilities are endless and they would get the attention that they crave without having to spend a fortune on wigs,make-up and frilly dresses.

    Fuck Off.

      • Evening, Krav

        Did you go anywhere nice on holiday? I heard that Butlins have a” Most Convincing Pantomime Dame” Contest…did you win?….at least you’ll not have had to pack a special costume.

        🙂 .

    • The image of Mangledbum or Uncle Elsan with piranhas swimming up the orinoco is a most…gratifying one, Dick. I would guess it’s one for only very experienced “players” !!

  11. I use Radio 4 “Listen Again” to help with insomnia – I choose what looks to be the most boring 30 minute podcast and it usually has me in the arms of Morpheus within 15-20 minutes.

    During a recent search, I happened across one of this cunt’s latest offerings and it annoyed me so much, I was wide awake with bile boiling at the end.

    Instructing the children of house guests to call him “Mr Sedaris”, trying to impress them by telling them he was “rich and famous” and generally being a whiny, hissy princess really didn’t endear him to me.

    The only moment of light relief was when he mentioned that one of his coastal neighbours had called his beachfront house “You Didn’t Get This, Bitch”.

    Obviously not an amicable divorce 🙂

  12. Another doey eyed cunt with thick rimmed glasses what up with these pricks an why do they all have that burnt expression on their faces? They all assembled in a factory somewhere? Seeing how hes a poof wouldn’t be surprised his favorite drink is soy

    • Here’s one for you, TS….

      Lynchburg Lemonade.

      To make a pitcher:

      150ml Jack Daniels
      50ml Cointreau
      60ml Lemon juice (4 lemon wedges / ½ lemon squeezed)

      Top with 740ml Lemonade

      Fill pitcher ¾ full of cubed ice, add ingredients, stir well and garnish with Orange and lemon wedges.
      ………………
      I had some of this the other day when it was too hot to drink my usual. Couldn’t remember how they made it so just looked it up. Give it a try.

      • Lynchburg lemonade huh, doesn’t sound too bad have to try it but I have no cointreau m8 and I’ve been boycotting american whiskey. Its a long story but canadian whiskeys are cheaper here and usually better imo

        there are alot of good ameircunt whiskeys but the only ones I like are overpriced like markers mark and woodford reserve Also been drinking alot of beer lately ever heard of a belgian ale called la guillotine Dick? had one on saturday it was very nice and has 8.5 alcohol content went nicely with my old fashioned and a glass of merlot

      • Haven’t heard of La Guillotine, TS. I had some Schiehallion lager the other week. I’ve had it before,but not for a couple of years. I’d forgotten how good it was.

        Which Canadian whiskey would you recommend? I’ll see if I can order it over here.

      • A decent little shop in Bakewell, Mr F.
        It’s called Wee Dram, they’ve got a good selection of whisky from all over World. Don’t know if you’ve heard of it ?

      • I haven’t heard of it,CM. Must admit that unless someone recommends a particular whiskey,I’m a bit wary. Even when recommended I’ve had some foul brews. I’ve tended to just stick with the Irish whiskies and the odd Scottish one. To be honest, until TS mentioned Canadian whisky, I had no idea that they even made it.

      • Clynelish, if you can get it is a nice whisky. It’s distilled in the highlands, a village called Brora.

      • Sorry for the late reply Dick hopefully you still see this post The whiskey I buy the most is alberta premium its a rye whiskey but for some odd reason is only available in leafland I dunno I why tho but my 2nd go to favorite is crown royal and canadian club can’t go wrong with those.

        Haven’t heard of Schiehallion lager but sounds good I’ll have to try it next time i pick up more booze but I got a few more belgian beers in my stash I have yet to try still ones called averbode and the other is gulden draak that one has 10.5 alcohol not bad

      • Cheers Dick Crown royal is a fine choice friend I’m cracking open a cold one right now so cheers literally lol

        Its a english ruby ale called hobgoblin if your wondering… first one so far its prettygood

  13. ‘re mention of Kenny Everett I recall one of his programmes with a dildo flashing past and a bit where he asked the lady to renew his country club membership and he said I’m a country member and she replied I remember and that was before 9 o’clock, priceless that was.

    • Does anybody else recall it cos never met any body who did, couldbegoing batch and it didn’t happen.

      • Unbearable gobshite Mark Lamarr used that gag on Never Mind The Buzzcocks, about Stuart Adamson being a Big Country member… purloined from Kenny Everett ??

      • Evening Civvy. You’re probably right – NMTB was in the late 90s I think (before Stuart kicked the bucket). BBC scriptwriters rehashing old material by the sound of it !

      • No but I do remember when Sid asked the station master for a return ticket

        Where to?

        Back here you pillock!

    • Don’t remember that one, CD, but certainly sounds like him. They’d never allow the mad Cunt on telly these days…they’d rather have have some “right-on” Cunt banging on about Brexit or Trump.

      • She is alleged to be an actress. Notable roles include a talking penis, an elephant shrew, a Mrs. Cameltoe and a ferret. She and her brother describe themselves collectively as ‘The Talent Family’ – no whimsical self-effacement there, then.

  14. This cunt is the most irritating poncing twat in the history of smug liberal shit-sniffers.

  15. Typical talent-free simpering wankrag paid fucking wads of OUR cash by the leftard shitbags at the BBC in order to brainwash our kids into thinking it’s “cool” to let another bloke shove his cock up your arse.
    If that’s your thing, I don’t have a problem with that. But don’t try and program my kids into it.
    A total fucking cunt who “works” for a bunch of total fucking cunts.

Comments are closed.