Firstly, I’m a fat cunt. I could do with losing weight. I’m not a housebound obese lardy fatberg though. There is some self-restraint. I work outdoors and pay tax. I can fit in a hatchback. I really don’t mind my doctor telling me to lose weight, or anti- obesity campaigns. It’s a social issue that’s only getting worse.
The problem is the ‘professional’ fatties (mostly women, and most of them are feminists) whose whole identity is around being fat twats. They want unconditional acceptance. They want to be told they’re beautiful and believe in ‘health at any size’.
They don’t want to be harassed for their weight, or shamed for wearing tight clothing. The don’t want doctors telling them they need to get rid of bingo wings, jellyrolls, muffin tops and cankles. That they will keel over and die by 45.
Tough. Stop being so fucking fat.
You can ignore abuse, confront it or act on it. Don’t expect some empty-headed, top-down awareness campaign on clickbait sites to magically alter the near- universal perception of fat people as lazy, stupid, greedy and clumsy. It’s not going to happen. Stop demanding men date you (same for fat neckbeards and incels who whine that ‘government’ isn’t providing them with a girlfriend – disgusting, creepy entitled, semi-castrated wankers).
Try getting off social media, posting affirmative memes and saccharine Upworthy/Buzzfeed videos about being ‘plus-size divas’, and being told you’re beautiful ‘just the way you are’ by soft-headed, creepy liberal men with bum fluff moustaches. As a slim woman once pointed out to a fatty on some reality TV show (I saw a clip, not the programme).
‘For someone who says they’re really happy with their body you spend a lot of time crying’.
Stop reporting hate crimes because Katie Hopkins made fun of you, or have a twitter meltdown over a cancer research campaign. (Sophie Haagen, bloated feminist ‘comedienne’, of course.)
Suck it up, you tubby useless fucks. Get out there and waddle.
From a fellow fat cunt.
Nominated by Cuntamus Prime