The Irish

The Irish.
The whole lot of the fuckers from the halfbreed, shirt-lifting Teashop to the humblest bog trotter.
And I speak as an Irish halfbreed myself.

‘Der will be no negotiating on de backstop’ according to some no-mark in Dublin.
Well feck youse. No deal will fuck your banana republic over big time while causing some inconvenience to us.
Feck de lot of youse, and feck de border.
And you can have that unfunny Mrs Brown drag act back as well.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

98 thoughts on “The Irish

  1. Also responsible for “travellers” although, to be fair, they hate them more than we do, and “plastic paddies” who only surface on St Patrick’s Day.
    Also severely lacking in any decent looking birds.

  2. The fondness for the new term the Island of Ireland, code for unification me thinks, well they can have the north. Sorry, to those in NI that are not so drowned in sectarian hatred they can see past stupid politics and religion and not have the urge to kill anyone who even looks like they may have an opposing opinion.

    Ireland is just one massive pain in the arse as far as I can see, hopefully the Germans will build the U-Boat museum there.

  3. Very complex feelings. I was actually born there. On the 17the of March. St Patrick’s Day! Brought over at 1. Oh, how popular I was with the rise of the ‘Plastic Paddy’. One came over to me in the pub-‘Ive got a ten foot shillelagh at home’ ‘Have you really?’. When I think of Auntie Carmel and Uncle Paddy ‘visiting’, how warm it was with the reels and the jigs and the Guinness flowing and great ‘craic’ and all telling Irish jokes and Dave Allen and my mother full of ‘Home’ ”at Home’ and ‘be quiet agraw'(the Irish for darling) and the picture of the pope, Kennedy on the landing and dad -‘they’re English now’ and my mother’s (literal) blnd hatred -Look at them!’ ‘But they’re Republicans marching mom’ and arguing about the Church and all solemn listening to Thomas Csssidy quoting Yeats. And fuck it’s all FUCKING GONE. Old Ireland is dead and buried and I cannot bear to listen to as an Irish voice now- Geldof Bono Sinead Varadkar they’re all the fucking same and yes I will say it-theyre too uppity. And yes I will say it- the only voices I do actually like are the DUP voices Arlene and Sammy Wilson and fuck Mary Lou and Sinn Fein.

  4. I am one eighth Irish.

    Went to Southern Ireland for the first time ever in 2000 with my daughters and my late mother.

    Liked Ireland and the scenery. Didn’t much care for the people we met. Bit like those portrayed on Father Ted.

    Which is a shame as my late father in law was Irish (born on St Patricks day) and he was a lovely man.

    Perhaps we were just unlucky.

    • What is the chance Willie of two people born on St Patrick’s Day being mentioned in consecutive posts?

      and I suppose with my username I am a real ‘Plastic Paddy’.

      And how I fucking despise that cunt Morrissey but he does sum me up ‘Irish blood, English heart’.

  5. Had a nice meal in an Irish restaurant recently and finished it off with an Irish coffee.

    Just like a normal coffee but comes with a potato….

    • You got scammed then cause a irish coffee should be whisky, coffee, brown sugar blended in a cup with some cream on top
      Did they at least cook the potato at least? be pretty lame if they brought yuu a uncooked potato

  6. Only been there once, a stop over at Shannon on the way to the US, so I cant comment on the country.
    Northern Ireland, half the population dislike or hate the English so why would I ever want to visit.
    No intention of going to either the north or south so basically i dont give a fuck about the Irish.

    • Went to Cork once with the RN. Went into the main Post Office, and asked how much to send this postcard back to the mainland. Place went so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Old lady behind the counter says “you don’t want to refer to it like that round here…..”

  7. Like the Australians, these cunts all have a permanent chip on their shoulder which they carry throughout their life.

    Pîkey, Catholic, terrorist peasants.

  8. The arrogant cunts being all stroppy about the back stop. They will be well and truly fucked if it doesn’t change. I would rather pay more for goods sourced elsewhere than buy any Iritch stuff. Let’s face it, they ran out of potatoes and blamed us! Cunts, how is it possible to run out of potatoes?

    And who in their right mind would elect Gerry Adams as their MP ? A mass fucking murderer.

    What’s is the world’s greatest oxymoron?
    Belfast University.

  9. Talking of Irish gobshites…

    Earlier in the week Republik of Oireland’s Deputy Cunt, Civenay, said, “Peace is more important than Brexit.”

    Erm…no it’s not, sunshine. I hate to break it to you but, compared with the UK leaving the Reich Über Alles, everything pales in comparison, especially to do with your shitty little damp shithole of iniquity.

  10. There was a Dutch customs expert or some such on Today this morning who said that basically there was no need for all this fuss about the border and could be easily sorted without the use of technology. Naturally this didn’t please the BBC so they wheeled out some cunt from Dublin who obfuscated, rambled and finally came up with ‘oh it’s not so much a customs as a ‘political’ border which will get de IRA at it again. Or something along those lines. Well, I hate to tell him but IRA murderers have been elected as politicians for 2 decades and using a threat of a resumption of violence is a pathetic, spurious reason to bend to their will.
    Fuck the border. Build a fucking wall.

  11. Paddy the farmer is shocked after finding out that all of his cows have Bluetongue.
    “Be Jeysus!” he said “I didn’t even know they had mobile phones!”.

  12. I used to go to Southern Ireland regularly for the horse-racing and occasionally with a friend who is a horse dealer. I really like the Irish, they have a wicked sense of humour and enjoy a good drink. Of course there’s Cunts amongst them,but I find them far friendlier than most English,Scots and Welsh….not wild on the Northern Irish,mind.

    Fuck Off.

    • Fairyhouse comes to mind Mr Fiddler. I remember my father when all the races in England had been abandoned due to bad weather could always fall back on a race at Fairyhouse. Invariably not televised so tuning into Irish radio for it.

  13. Government could offer Northern Ireland a referendum on reunification with the South, with question something like,

    Tick one box:

    1. Remain in Union with UK and agree to a hard border if necessary ◽️
    2. Reunite with Southern Ireland and avoid necessity for hard border ◽️

    • Fucking hate Mrs Brown’s Boys. Fucking hated Father Ted as well. There hasn’t been a comedy with a funny Irish character since ‘Never mind the quality, feel the width’. That shows my age.

      • Have to disagree re Fr. Ted.

        What’s the CofE alternative ? Fat Don French of Wibley-Wobbly.
        Laugh ? I thought I’d never start.

        Mrs. Brown is god-awful, though.

  14. Off-piste but the Met Office really are cunts, ‘amber alert with a warning of danger to life’. Temperatures to plunge to -4 with a whole four inches of the white stuff expected in parts. We get doom laden Armaggedon while in places like Scandinavia they just call it Thursday, at least they haven’t started blaming Brexit yet.

    • Great minds think alike – I suggested to workmates today that remainers might very well do that. Who knows, could be prophetic.

  15. Never been to Ireland but almost every Irish ex-pat I met was a lefty cunt with a chip on both shoulders (for balance I guess). My best friend in primary school was Northern Irish and he was sound and so were his family but apart from them I have found them to be mostly McCunts.

  16. And the Oirish can get out of Liverpool as well as stopping blaming everything on Cromwell and William III. They are only jealous because they are simply a fiefdom of the EUSSR, independence my backside. Jucker the drunker says “Jump” and the Oirish say “How high?” before doing their Masters bidding.

  17. let me say I am “confused” .
    I served in an Irish regiment, my first exposure to “Positive discrimination” .
    I also used to be a church goer and believed in common decency (don,t worry this has long since been knocked out of me).
    I had a natural dislike for the Provos due to some rather local indiscriminate bombings so joining the army to set it right was only natural (except my regiment was not deployed outside of the Maze),
    But working with these guys was educational, on boring guard duties sharing a sneaky fag they would get talking and I got to realize I was surrounded by tame terrs (Loyalist paramilitary) I was offered a job with the UVF, met people from the UDA and even met a lonley cunt from the UFF (very sad people), I also know what the fucks used to do, and they are not much better than the IRA.
    Many years later I find some of these people embedded in the UK not because “its better here”but because they are seriously shitting it.
    The paramilitaries leaned on them when they went home (the decent ones) and they legged it over here, fuck one of my colleagues was a tig from falls, they found him in a sleeping bag up north, he couldn’t go home either. (he was found and now has council accommodation, he was a medic in gulf war I) .

  18. Fucking Paddies, they spend centuries struggling to free themselves from the hated British oppressors, then give their arses away to the Frogs and Krauts for fuck all.
    No wonder people say they’re thick.

  19. When the world Irish crops up the first image that springs to mind is that of a toothless simpleton dressed in flares and platform shoes throwing half Enders at our troops, and then a pile of them lying on the deck after our boys opened up on them. Bring back the 70s.

  20. I can’t stand yanks who’s great grandfather, grandmother or auntie, or whatever was Irish, so on St. Paddy’s day, they frolic around drinking Guinness dressed up like a fucking Leprechaun. They even tell people they’re Irish, like they’re desperate for some kind of cultural identity.
    I fucking hate pikeys, Mrs Browns Boys and Dara O Briain, Ireland isn’t boding too well. But they did give us Father Ted…

    • Yeah I remember being in an army med centre talking to a lad from the Royal Irish and he said it boiled his piss every time he met an Irish American and having to correct the cunt with “you’re not Oirish! You’re of Oirish descent?”

  21. Fuckin’ Paddy cunts. My paternal grandparents were Irish, but even they would be turning in their graves at the sheer shooting-themselves-in-the-foot twattery demonstrated by their compatriots.

    The only decent thing they gave the world was Irish jokes…..

    I had a knock at me door earlier… was a Garda….
    “Mr O’Shea?”
    “Yes,” I replied.
    “I’m afraid we’ve had a complaint that your dog chased somebody on a bike.'”
    I said, “Well that’s fucking bullshite… dog doesn’t have a bike'”

    I’ll get my coat on that note.

    Plus, they gave the world the irritating spectacle that is BONO. Thanks for that. If we are ever in need of another epic cunt of mammoth proportions, we will let ye know!


    • Bono – “Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies”
      Audience member – “Then stop fucking clapping cunt!”

    • Mick and Paddy, walk into a bar. A bloke comes up to them and asks Mick, “What’s got 4 legs and stinks?”

      “I don’t know” says Mick, the bloke replies “You and Paddy”

      “That’s a good one” says Mick, “The next 2 blokes that walk in, I’m going to get them with that one”

      No sooner than that is said, 2 guys walk in, Mick walks up to them and asks, “What has 4 legs and stinks?” Confused, one of them replies “I don’t know, what?”

      Mick giggles, and replies “Me and Paddy”

      • Two Oirisch lads in the potato field a week after a trip to the city.

        Paddy, remember when that hooker said we had to keep them rubbers on or she’d get pregnant?


        Well I don’t care, I’m taking mine off!

  22. BBC keep on interviewing people from Chicago etc trying to get them to say ‘oh poor me, it’s so terrible hear’ but these plucky Americans just shrug and laugh and carry on as usual.
    Remember when we were like that before we were taken over by lefties/ Guardianistas?

  23. If you hate the Irish don’t go to Chicago on 17th March “Are to be Jesus St Patrick’s day” More Irish catholic’s there than there are in Rome We stupidly went on Holiday and the Yanks go stupid for it Cunts

  24. The Irish who went to the US in the 19th century turned out to be very clever indeed. As they spoke English, they had a great advantage over the other immigrant groups. Within a generation they had grabbed political control of big cities like New York, Boston and Chicago and ran them their own benefit, siphoning off public funds and ensuring public jobs went to their kinsmen. Hence the large number of “Irish-Americans” in the police, fire service, teaching etc. Their politicians were completely crooked but they looked after their own providing they voted for who they were told. They also controlled the Catholic Church and organized crime at one point.

    An admirable people in my view despite dickheads like Bono and Geldof and joke leprechauns like Terry Wogan and Val Doonican.

  25. You find these cunts living everywhere but Ireland, telling every cunt in earshot at every opportunity how great it is back in Ireland. Cunts.

  26. It’s like their whole identity centres around their funny accent and the expectation that everyone finds it to be a never ending positive novelty item.

    Ta-da-dee ta-da-dumb.

  27. Not knowing what this annoying concept of “the backstop “ really means ( I thought that it it referred to May’s buttplug) I’m sick of hearing about it.
    All we have to do is leave the shitty EU with no deal and decide, without any outside interference, how to deal with the Oirish. A 25ft wall across the border would be a good starting point.

  28. John Barnes on Remoaners Question Time tonight.
    Listen John, nobody wants to employ you as a manager because they gave you 2 goes at it and you were shit. It’s not because you’re black
    Plenty of big name players have gone into management and failed so get over yourself you cunt.

  29. The oirish …..
    The most UNuseful idiots the world has ever seen.
    The Reich have used them to scupper brexit but they have no real power whatsoever in all this, and they’re only fucking themselves.
    We’ll see how this turns out but I strongly suspect that the Irish are gonna regret turning on their closest and ONLY neighbour.
    I assume they’re hoping to gain some power through all this, no doubt they have some special deal or privilege through turning on us … and no doubt they’re expecting a big cheque at the end.
    (Pst…. the EU can’t afford to pay you anything. There’s nothing coming)….

    I think they’ve backed the wrong side.
    But I guess we’ll see. We do have a lot of treasonous cunts here.

  30. Haven’t been over to Pikeystan for years.

    Always enjoyed myself there though.

    Thing is, most (proper, non-import) Brits have an affinity for our Emerald Isle neighbours, more so than any other EU nation.

    I think most of our Emerald Isle neighbours feel the same.

    The pity here is that EU cock-gobler Varadkar and his globalist agenda. Thing is, there is a surging rise of national populism over there like in most EU countries nowadays and all those cunt globalist EU leaders are due a mighty fall in the next election cycle. And hopefully that will be the end of the EU.

    Ireland was one of the rocky states (financially) after 2008 so you’d have thought that they’d be prepared to play nice with their neighbour – and the most likely to help out financially
    – when Juncker’s Ponzi scheme collapses??

    Just a thought.

    • Good question. Having absorbed about E40billion from the EU, Ireland became a net contributor only in 2014. They are now righteously shitting themselves at having to help make up the shortfall should we by a miracle succeed in escaping. And that’s if the Ponzi scheme holds up that long.

      I am 1/128th Irish and I 1/128th sympathise.

      • My surname is Irish but I don’t know the exact fraction of my heritage. All I know is that my last Irish born ancestor came over during the chip shop troubles.

  31. Born and bred in North Belfast and the only thing i have to say about the cunts over the border is that they are Provo harbouring scum that gave the world Bono. Cunts.

  32. Yeah, the “Irish border problem” was invented by the EU long after the referendum. I can remember the very day it was introduced to Project Fear and James O’Shithead was crying about “my country being broken up”.
    Oh yeah, well how come you didn’t mention it during the 3 hours a day of propaganda you’ve been churning out for fucking months on end, cunt?
    I’ve still got my £9 1/2 million dummies guide to the referendum sent to me by Pigfucker. I have been over it again and again and I can’t find a single mention of it among all the big letters.
    So how come it is such a big problem now but no cunt mentioned until months after?
    It’s a fucking mystery innit?

    • Those info leaflets are now in demand Freddie. Most fuckers binned them, and now, every fucker is trying to get hold of a copy. Could be a nice little earner that. Especially when it all turns tits up !

      • Really? It’s got a load of anti- EU abuse scrawled across the cover. Still, that might add to it’s value….. a genuine historical document in an age when , as Henry Ford famously said “History is bunkum.”

  33. Born and bred in North Belfast and the only thing i have to say about the cunts south of the border is that they are Provo harbouring shitcunts AND they fucking gave us Bono and that ratfaced fenian cunt from The Pogues. Cunts the lot of them

    • Shane McGowan? That tooth-shy, liver experiment was born in…. posh old Tunbridge Wells in Kent.

      Perhaps de biggest plastic Paddy of dem allll.

      🎵 Dey caaall ‘im dee Oirish Rohhh-ver. Not.”🎵

  34. How can the Irish get more posts than the recent and most excellent (if I do say so myself) Germans nomination FFS?

    Surely after what the cunts have done (and continue to do) to this once great country the Germans are in a different league.

    • I suppose it’s because we only have a pop at de Oirish once a year (in March) and the Hermans receive it a lot more.

      🎵 Micks to the left of me, Krauts to the right, here I am
      Stuck in the Middle…🎵

  35. QT tonight with none other than banana gob Gina Miller.
    Coming from Lincoln, should be interesting to see how the audience behaves considering the vote went Leave the EU

  36. Why have they got some rich Kraut on telling us how great the EU is?
    Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas and if they did some rich fuckers would try and reverse it if it wasn’t making them even richer.

  37. It finished with the rich Kraut crying about democracy in Venezuela.
    The same cunt who doesn’t want democracy in Europe, on his own backdoor.
    Marvellous BBC gobbledygook .

  38. Not all the Irish are cunts. The 190 Irishmen awarded the Victoria Cross cannot be labelled cunts. The 35000 killed in WW1 and 5000 killed in WW2 fighting for the British cannot be labelled cunts. The many thousands injured in both wars cannot be labelled cunts. The thousands who lived through WW2 and returned home to suffer years of persecution and discrimination by their government and people cannot be labelled cunts. The thousands of Irish labourers whose sweat and effort built your cities and with whom I had the privilege of working as a young man cannot be called cunts. Well, yes you can call them cunts but that makes you an even bigger cunt.. Written with fond memories and respect to all my family of Murphys in Mayo both living and deceased.. Fuck off anyone who labels them cunts.

  39. Been to both the North and South of Ireland several times a few times in the South for work but the rest of the times I’ve been for motorcycle road racing. The Skerries, nw200, ulster gp, dundrod, carrowdore… Etc. Never found arseholes anywhere just fellow bike fans and locals that seemed keen on knowing you were being treated well. Maybe I’ve been lucky but it could be that I haven’t met the teashop, bonio, goboff, or slaphead o’connor.
    The ira and sein fein and all other terrorist organisations are off course CUNTS without end.

    • Same here, love the road racing, in fact thinking of it the cuntiest Irish people that I know of don’t even live there anymore.

  40. I think the Irish are no more wanky than the English or Welsh. We all know the Scots have a greater proportion of turd heads ( and I am part Jock —small part – oh matron —before anyone gets too upset).

    The point is the Irish politicians are utter Uber Cunts sucking up to the EU when the UK is by far more significant in trade and ties. But then look at our half wit polititions in England? Conclusion is we can’t turn against the Irish just becasue they suffer from utter cunt polititions and PM ( Tee shirt or some such being their term) .

    Just my feeling about all this.

    Ps I simply cannot now see any outcome other than a WTO ( better a wto Gatt article enactment) that is going to honour Brexit. This was always going to come down to punishment for daring to leave their cock suckers club.

  41. I have to say I quite like the Irish, I go over quite often to watch the motorbike road racing series that they have and I always have a great time or as the Irish like to call it “craic”

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