High Street banks

I nominate high street banks, the few which are left anyway.

Once upon a time, in the good old days, you could get everything done at the cashier’s till. Pay in, take out cash, sort out standing orders, switch funds etc….

Now you can only use the cashier to pay in or take out cash. Anything else and you have to give your name to some twat who hovers around, carrying a clipboard, then wait ages to see an ‘adviser’

The only way to avoid it is to do online banking, but I don’t trust that because of all those hacking cunts trying to steal my dosh, bastards.

Time to put all my cash under the mattress.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

35 thoughts on “High Street banks

  1. I used to work for one of the major mobile network providers as a call handler,and they used to harp on that we had to encourage the customer to self serve. So basically be the herald of your own doom and get the customer to do your job so they no longer needed to pay you to do it.

    Everything is going the same. It would be nice if companies or banks passed the savings onto the consumer but do they fuckers like.

  2. They’re all a bunch of money-grabbing cunts!

    Bailed out by the taxpayer back in 2008 when it all went tits up because the cunts got more greedier than usual; keeping interest rates for savers outrageously low for years making saving more or less pointless for your average cunt. But charge all sorts of fees when you want something from them.

    It will be interesting when they big HS banks start announcing their annual profits, which quite often run into the billions. So where the fuck does all that money go? Certainly not those very same ordinary plebs with no power or influence. And no doubt the CEOs will be awarding big bonuses on top of their already massive fucking “basic” salary running into a few more million.

    And who can forget TSB boss, Paul Pester, getting a £1.7m payoff when he “stepped down” after their massive IT fuck-up in April last year, that affected millions of its customers and took weeks to fix!

    All a bunch of reckless, money grabbing cunts!

  3. I like the cash under the mattress idea, My girlfriend practices that, just before Christmas she retrieved her sons driving lesson fund from wherever it was hidden and lovingly counted out the notes to put in a card, only for me to point out that the notes were no longer legal tender, (muggins then has to go down the bank and change them for her)

  4. I don’t claim to be an expert.but since Thatcher decided (rightly or wrongly) that we would no longer be a “manufacturing” economy,but rather a “services-based” economy,that it all headed downhill from there. Successive governments allowed banks and the financial sector to operate with very few checks.
    Of course,eventually the banks got too greedy and were playing roulettte like a drunken Sheik. Unfortunately the money that they were so glibly,and freely,chucking across the table was people’s life savings,or borrowed money. They treated it as a game,and why not? When it all imploded,the same people whose money they had lost (taxpayers and savers) had to stump up the cash to keep the country from declaring bankruptcy. The “Age of Austerity”,”We’re all in this together”….fine glib sayings from a Govt. that had allowed it’s “chums” to run wild. Of course money had to be found to bail out what were,in essence,a bunch of chancers who would have shamed a Cairo bazaar. However, austerity didn’t apply to them…virtually no convictions,just the same pig’s trough topped up with taxpayers’ money enabling the banks to continue with their grotesque “bonuses” and contempt for the very people who had to,and continue to,bail them out.

    Banks,and the politicians who allow them to just continue on their merry way,are nothing more than crooks in an Old School Tie.

    Fuck them.

    • Sad but true DF, no doubt Cameron and his Etonian banker wanker friends are in it together with us… They’ve had to cut out the foie gras, and £2000 a time ‘working lunches’ to once a week now.

      • B+WC, I wouldn’t mind as much if they had been forced to “cut out the foie gras and £2000 a time working lunches”….they haven’t. They continue in exactly the same vein,buoyed up by the knowledge that the taxpayer will be forced to pick up the bill when it all goes tits up again.

        Arrogant thieving wankers.

      • Plus, I suspect most of them are sexual degenerates of the bumming type…it’s the sneaky,wanton behaviour that I’d associate with that type.

      • I think your right, definitely weird cunts end up in the Banking profession… You’ve got to be a cunt to want to piss people’s life savings away and continue their extravagant lifestyle. They probably raise a glass to the plebs and smirk though when they’re celebrating reaching their targets. The cunts.

  5. We used to have a Halifax, Barclays, Lloyds, HSBC, Nationwide and Natwest. We only have Lloyds and Nationwide left now. I really don’t like this drive towards a cashless society at all.

    • The only problem with a cashless society is that you’re at the mercy of the internet, and being able to connect to it without being hacked, having to remember passwords and pin numbers, and wondering what the fuck to do when your bank goes offline because of a massive IT fuck up (see TSB)

      • Had the dear old biddy down the road knocking on our door on a cold evening in late October and collecting for Poppy Appeal. Glad to drop a few quid in her tin.

        Attended a funeral a month ago and duly dropped more of the same in the collection plate by the door on the way out.

        In the summer gave the kids a load of shrapnel to fritter away on the usual tuppeny h’penny stuff at the Village Fete / fundraiser over the summer.

        Just three amongst many examples I could give where the move towards a cashless society will severely affect these worthy causes. Bad enough that, thanks to rural branch closures, they now have to travel fucking 15 miles to the nearest bank to pay the money in.

        Or will they all now have to carry a portable money gathering e-device; assuming they can even get a signal?

        It’s fucking insane and I’d like to see a completely world-altering computer hack originating from North Korea to empty a few hundred million Internet bank accounts to shake us from this complacent stupidity.

        And don’t get me started on these cunts fiddling away , turning out all their pockets to find credit cards to buy a few penny chews whilst I’m being made to wait despite having the exact cash in hand for my newspaper.

        And they call this progress……

        Fuck Off

  6. High Street Banks are cunts, apparently you can’t pay cash into another person’s account in a branch anymore… You have to pay it in yours and then transfer it. All this so the banks have a nice digital trail and can see exactly what’s going on.
    My mate Dave’s uncle’s cousins mate’s friend had to pay a big sum into an account for some substances and had a load of grief trying to pay the money into the cunts account. I knew naffink abaaaaaht it all of course, its what I heard.
    Anyways the banks are steering us all towards the cashless society we’ll have in 20 years time. Mark of the beast and all that. The banks will get a nice transaction fee (for not actually handling any money) and everyone except you is happy. I predict as is the same with every other act or law designed to fuck us over it’ll go unchallenged and the dopey cunts will get on with watching Towie, Love Island, and Britain’s best dancer and accept it. Piss off.
    A side cunting has to be given to the old fart type customer who go to the banks and think its the still the 1960’s…chatting a pile of cunt to the cashier about how their equally mad cunt husband fell and needs a hip replacement, or what they’re having for dinner tonight to a bored cashier who wants them to hurry up and fuck off, never mind the queue of cunts running late because going to the bank is the highlight of Mavis’ day. Piss off.

    • The cashless society is a good point B&WC, contactless payments have been growing steadily while cash is falling. I saw a bit the paper over Christmas about Sweden which in the very near future will be almost completely cashless, even the homeless over there accept contactless payment!

      • It’s definitely going that way LL, I wonder what will happen with fruit and veg markets, drug dealers etc. Sweden is full of beautiful women but they seem to be governed by extreme left wankers and the fact it’s cashless doesn’t surprise me.

    • I’m highly suspicious of this “cashless society” idea. It’s just another way for them to snoop and control peoples’ lives. Never mind “Big Brother is watching”,it’ll be “Big Brother controls every aspect of your lives,right down to being able to seize your every penny if you don’t bow down.”

      Utter Cunts.

      • Agree Mr Fiddler, contactless has its place but living in a rural area cash is still king here until it goes they way of bus services, post offices and the rest. Maybe if the peacefuls and Africunts take over we’ll be trading camels, goats and magic beans.

    • The Only plus side of a cashless society is that it will make much harder for all the illegal cunts.

    • Yep I agree B&WC……not being able to pay the occasional £20 straight into my nephews bank account on his birthday or Christmas because it ‘contravenes money laundering regs’ really stews my shit.

      Meanwhile, countless Middle Eastern/ Russian cunts brazenly clean their money buying up Mayfair year in year out and nobody bats an eyelid.

      We are fucking mugs!

  7. Putting cash under the mattress might not be a bad idea.
    When you look at what happened in Greece during the last financial crisis and realise that the same thing could happen here during the next, it could be a prudent move.
    Good morning.

    • Cash wouldn’t be any good,Jack. The Cunts’ll probably declare it verboten. Better to take a page out of the Red Sea Pedestrians’ book and keep a stash of gold. That’ll always keep it’s value.

      • Morning Dick. You’re probably right, but when buying a loaf, how much change would I get from a Doubloon ? And what would it consist of ?
        I have a chest full of the things, they’ve been passed down through the generations from my ancestor, Long John Cunter, scourge of the seven seas and all round bad egg. There wouldn’t be a problem with illegals in the Channel if he was still around.
        Har ! Har !

      • Ah well,that’s the beauty of my plan. You use the doubloon to buy all of the bread…then you demand sexual favours off the starving women in return for a loaf of bread….men and ugly women can starve. Fuck them. Fat fit women can do without bread until they slim down enough to raise my interest.

        Morning, Jack.

      • Perfect, your reputation as a cunning cunt is well deserved.
        I’m sure old Long John would have approved.

      • Fiddlers to a man, Jack………

        Border reivers………..

        “The borderers proved difficult to control, however, within larger national armies. They were already in the habit of claiming any nationality or none, depending on who was asking and where they perceived the individual advantage to be. (Fraser) Many had relatives on both sides of Scottish-English conflicts despite prevailing laws against international marriage. They could be badly-behaved in camp, seeing fellow soldiers as sources of plunder. As warriors more loyal to clans than to nations, their commitment to the work was always in doubt. At battles such as Ancrum Moor in Scotland in 1545, borderers changed sides in mid-combat to curry favour with the likely victors. At the Battle of Pinkie Cleugh in 1547, an observer (William Patten) noticed Scottish and English borderers chatting with each other, then putting on a spirited show of combat once they knew they had been spotted”

  8. The biggest piss take with these cunts is that ‘We’ bailed out RBS (45 Billion… without being given a choice) and a few years later after RBS put an even tighter squeeze on loans and mortgages and lending in general to the public who bailed them out our top quality government decide to sell some shares at a 2 Billion Loss. Is it me or are they legally robbing the public in a blatant way.
    Still got me RBS account though… Hopefully they’ll give us account holders some of the plebs money…after the bonuses and expenses of course.

  9. Where’s an angry duel wielding AK47 Jesus when you need him. He’d sort these usury shyster bastards out for sure.

    The one thing the people of this country are good at is getting mugged off by these gold plated cunts.

  10. Fucking nosey cunts, too.
    “I’d like to withdraw £2000 from my account please”
    “What will it be used for Sir?”
    “Mind yer own fucking business and give me the money, cunt.”
    “But we need to know due to money laundering regulations.”
    “You didn’t bother asking when I put it in there, cunt.”
    “It’s the law.”
    “OK. I want to but some class A drugs, and hire a couple of hookers. I’ll just waste the rest”.
    Funny look. Hands over money (didn’t write my reply anywhere, I see).

  11. Fortunately I already live in a cashless society: I haven’t got a pot to piss in!! I’d like to put in a banking sub-cunt here with regards to the Halifux and their purile – fucking not very funny – wind me up TV ads. Why the fuck do they think that sensible grown up adults will apply for a mortgage/ loan just cos Top Cat can get one? He’s a cat! As far as I remember he didn’t even have an income! They’d have told him to sling his fucking hook! And that bell end who says “oooh hello” to Dorothy and her friends is a right knob. In fact he looks like a “friend of Dorothy” himself. They wouldn’t get a loan, except maybe the Tin-Man but being a self employed woodcutter there would be all sorts of checks to go through. Pricks
    I have a lot of time on my hands
    Time to get up
    I thangyo

  12. My 77 year old Mother nearly spewed back up her Victoria Selection biscuit when she saw the news story about our increasingly cashless society.

    I think the words were ‘Cashless society? Oh, for fuck’s sake’……

    I am in agreement. I like cash, thanks very much. I don’t want more than I already have on fucking credit and I don’t want to use a debit card as being a hairbrained cunt at the best of times, I will not keep tabs on what is going out, to the point I end up in overdrawn shit creek again. As for ‘mobile payments’, what the actual fuck? Why are we being compelled to not use that terribly old fashioned thing called CASH MONEY when it has worked perfectly well for centuries before? It is yet another step in the wrong direction and another needless one to add to the copious others in this shitfest, modern world.

    Does anyone actually consider the older generations here, people such as my Mum? (albeit my Mum is not your typical 77 year old……she would bite the balls off of Mike Tyson and is very clued up when it comes to fiscal shit) The vast majority simply do not do cards and certainly don’t do bullshite like ‘Apple Pay’ or whatever the fuck that crap is….they like the ease and comfort of paying in cash so they know exactly what they have and what they are spending.

    As for high street banks, fuck that shit. The only time I ever go inside is to safely withdraw or deposit money via the machines. I do all I can to avoid the bank tellers as they are generally annoying, hard sell fucktards who look about 12 years old, plus the queue is generally out of the door anyway. I cannot stand being lectured about bollocks like ‘you know your 50p savings would be much better placed in an ISA/stocks/bonds/down your bra/in your knicker draw’, blah, blah, blah shite.

    All banks are self-serving, avaricious, could-care-less about the customer cunts.

  13. Another point of complete agreement, MM. The ‘appointment for advisor’ idea really boils my piss, and any other water nearby. Granted, when there was a real bank manager, any interview offered by him usually concerned the deep negative spike in your account, but that was then.
    Given that you are getting 0.0003% on your deposit and you are paying silly% on your overrun, in addition to charges for receiving form letters etc, it is not wholly clear why the banks have to cut the only useful staff in their branches while opening up the system to any Albanian hacker who feels he needs your money.

    All banks are cunts, and if you were allowed to print your own money on the security of someone else’s, wouldn’t you be?

    If the public were truly aware of what banks actually do, and how they do it, there’d be a lot fewer High Street branches. They’d have been burnt to the ground.

    • Spot on Komodo. What a lot of people don’t understand is that once you deposit money with a bank it is legally no longer your money. It is the bank’s money albeit they are indebted to you for the amount deposited. It’s no good going to your bank and demanding all your money because it doesn’t belong to you anymore. All you have is a claim on the bank’s money to the amount you gave them. Absolute cunts.

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