Dogs

Dogs are cunts. I’ve probably raised a lot of heckles just saying that, but I’m sorry – with the exception of sniffer dogs, service dogs and guide dogs, they are. They frequently bark at night when I’m trying to sleep, whenever I pass one on the pavement I usually have to either cross the road or, if it’s clear, go into the road in case the mutt in question tries to lunge at me, they smell, they slobber, they shit everywhere, they destroy property, they’re a nightmare to deal with on a paper round (which I help my mother with whenever I’m back here) from both a noise perspective and the fear that they might bite off your fingers through the letterbox, they’re dangerous and even fatal if not properly controlled, they frequently growl at people in the street, they bark aggressively at each other in the street (much to the chagrin of surrounding pedestrians), they’re extremely loud… Then there’s the whole ‘no such thing as a bad dog’ crap – fuck off! I understand that the owner does play a large role in determining a dog’s behaviour but not all dogs are the same and saying as much is just as absurd as saying that men and women are the same. I know a lot of you like dogs and I understand your reasons why, but to me they are foul, disgusting, unhygienic, annoying, vicious mutts that I want nowhere near me.

Nominated by OpinionatedCunt

81 thoughts on “Dogs

  1. Any animal that will lick peanut butter off my arsehole has my respect. I have 2 dogs

  2. I like dogs’ personality, they’re always happy and loyal, and I’m sure they’re good for company and cheering people up after a bad day…

    They are, however, CUNTS!

    My neighbours have a dog. They’ve gone out for the evening and the cunt is howling his fucking stupid annoying head off at this very moment. Cunt needs to shut it’s fuckin trap….
    And their garden is covered in dog turds. I’m looking forward to chilling in the garden when the weather gets better but I doubt I’ll be able to stomach it as their garden stinks like a fucking sewer.
    Speaking of stenches…. nothing stinks like a fucking dog house. In my job as a sparks I go to 3 or 4 different houses every day and about half have dogs.
    Maybe 1 in 10 don’t stink.
    The rest make me want to fucking heave as soon as I walk in the door and the owners obviously have become so used to the smell that they just don’t notice.
    If I had a pound for every time I’ve heard “my dogs don’t smell”, then you get round their house and almost throw up coz of the musty stench of fucking dog.
    I don’t hate dogs of their owners.
    I just think that they’re disgusting vermin 😁.

    • My Dad was a spark, DTS. He had some dog stories. When an apprentice, he was about to follow his tutor into a house when he was asked to pass a hammer. The hammer was used to brain a nuisance dog that would have otherwise blocked access. They were unable to explain to the owner why the dog was lying unconscious on the doormat.

  3. I ate at a Korean restaurant last night. Thought I’d have something different and chose the sweet and sour badger.
    You can usually find it in the sett menu….

  4. And we thought Trump and Brexit are divisive! As the Queen recently advised, we should respect each other’s opinions.

    Here’s mine: dogs suck.

  5. Sorry O C it’s more often than not the cunts that own said mutts failing to do training, picking up shit and warning dumb fucks not to grab the dog by the ears of shove thier inbred brat into it’s face while it’s trying to lick it’s bollocks…I mean if you could do that you wouldn’t want to be interrupted….no you wouldn’t take kindly to having your moment ruined by some prick putting you off before totally sorting your self out….now that deserves a bite I think and you would do the same in that situation I’m sure….

  6. I’m with OC on this one.

    Number of these fucking things needs reducing. I’m talking more about the little yappy fucking things and the mentally retarded cunt who let’s then out at 1A.M.

    Love the bigger dogs that don’t have hard-core Napoleon syndrome.

    These little yapping fuckers though; giving it big licks: ‘come at me, bro!’ And then when you walk over they shit it. Fucking pathetic little beta’s. Torch the lot of the little fuck knuckles. They are the equivalent of James Charles, the cunt.

  7. Clearly you are not a dog lover Dogs are a mans best friend and always have been so you are a cunt. Don’t waste our time with drivel this is a counting forum Man up

  8. I like dawgs but not the yappy little fuckers.

    We used to have an MOD police dog handler in our village with a beautiful German Shepherd. When he retired, his wife made him get a miniature poodle – I have never seen a man so fucking embarrassed to walk a dog!

    • Hey, it’s just my opinion. If you like them that’s OK too. Like you said each to their own.

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