➖ Has he made another humiliating clanger like his famous Mastermind gaffe? No.
➖ Has he been wittering on about fabricated close, personal friends whom he knew in the Grenfell roast? No.
➖ Well, has he been insisting we have another referendum because he didn’t like the outcome? Not especially.
➖ All police are fascists? No.
➖ Brexiteers are ignorant? Nope.
➖ A million Indians died in the first World War? Still no.
➖ Improved river access for homo squirrels? No.
➖ The Beatles, Shakespeare, Charlie Dickens, Boadicea, Jane Austen, and Henry V were all black? No, not yet yet.
Then why oh why is he being nominated? ➖ Because David Lammy is a cunt.
Let’s face it, with the queue for nominations being as lengthy as it is, this joker with his rice-pudding intellect and child-like view on life will have said or done something mind-numbingly fatuous by the New Year, the daft cunt.
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous