Christmas Ads

Tesco Christmas ad. What a load of utter cunt ish diversity stuffed turkey. Must have took 5 minutes to make that drivel up. Family of Happy aspiring architects. Didn’t see any knives I bet on of them scooter boys has half inched them.

Total bunch of baw bags

Nominated by Cuntancurou s

I’d like to nominate the diet coke ad. This absolute cuntbag, as you’ll have probably seen, swaggers down a hipster filled street swigging his ‘super good’ mango flavoured diet filth. Who drinks this fucking swill and why would we need some hipster bawbag telling us he’s ‘really into this’ while necking another glug. Absolute Cunt.

Nominated by CraigRB

67 thoughts on “Christmas Ads

    • I’m fucking sick of that fucking song Jack. Was about a week ago when I first posted it. Even more so now. Driving me sodding mad. Chinese water torture syndrome. Included in pretty much every fucking horrendous advert break. Like Amazon don’t have enough money already and haven’t closed down enough high street shops. Sure baldy cunt Bezos will be having a great fucking Xmas with his $160,000,000,000+ personal wealth.

      That Fucking Xmas music by Chas Crane is the ONLY Xmas song that I can tolerate, and never fails to brighten my day. Many thanks for that Chas.

      • Good evening Willie. I remember your post . It struck a chord. It really is a fucking annoying advert, the twat sat in the cafe I find particularly annoying.

  1. One of these fucking adverts uses a blanded out version of ‘Go your own way’.
    (I think. It is such a travesty that it’s hard to be sure)
    A great and powerful song of bitterness and betrayal. Whoever did this should be kneecapped. The cunts.

  2. The meaning of Christmas is the Nativity the birth of Christ not how much money these bastards can make disgusting

  3. ‘Tis the season to be jolly (falala etc)
    Buy yourself some plastic holly (etc)
    Shove it up an adman’s arse (& so on)
    Make it hard for him to pass ( yeah, yeah, yeah)
    Yet more shite this Christmas tide. (ok, no more dreary chorus)
    A most appropriate homicide –
    As flatulence explodes his belly
    Be like me, and junk the telly.

    • I can’t abide that fucking choir which accompanies that bleeding Coca Cola lorry with it’s good time, tooth rotting vibe. That and that fucking DFS advert which promises your plywood and plastic sofa will be with you by the *big day* – and at half price – pull the other one DFS fuckwits. I’d sooner park my arse on a bed of nails than have one of their shitty sofas.

      • Is DFS the shite one with woolly, knitted half-wits ?
        I think they are very likely to be members of the Green Party.
        They look like total twats.

        Sod them.

  4. These cunts would have you believe that every second family is mixed race and that Muslims like nothing more than turkey, sprouts and pigs in blankets. Goats in blankets I’d believe….

    Dumb fucks….

  5. Fuck me this is a target rich environment!
    The absolute wank puffery of these ads sends me into a fucking spasm! As each company tries to out diversify and VS the other, obviously the objective is to shoe horn as many ethnic groups into the 30 second advert as humanly possible, so we have the mandatory black male with his white bitch all cozy on one sofa , Opposite a sofa full of jelly babies just to show the kids take equally from both gene pools, often one of the jelly babies will have gooky eyes indicating that previous generations have been mixing it up , in amongst this tsunami of shit cuntery you have some smiling peaceful people celebrating Xmas? And just to keep us happy a clueless young snowflake couple who look chuffed to bits that they’ve been invited around their peaceful neighbours house for Xmas? which makes a difference to sitting at home where the live with their elderly parents because they can’t afford to buy their own fucking house ..😂
    Merry fucking Xmas!! 😡

    • We’ve got Black Friday how long in the name diversity till we have white Wednesday?
      The sales appear to start in jan and run thru the year till the end of December? 😂

  6. You can always tell when Christmas is round the corner because those fucking pretentious up-your-arse TV ads for perfume or after shave appear on our screens!

    They’re so fucking “arty” and surreal that you can barely remember the name of the product – which misses the whole fucking point

    • Well put NCFOM….I hate those pretentious pile of shite adverts….moreover ,the top pissboilers are the hugo boss ads .. And the new one has the Bowie track starman. ….showing a bloke chasing after a skinny sexless black woman….. And the perfume ad with some fucking catawailing….

    • The perfume adverts..kerchinggggg,but Big Fucking Time. Panic Stricken blokes in Boots throwing handfuls of dosh at the stuck-up,tangoed, pig-ugly sales assistants.The punters think,the more expensive it is the more gratefully it will be received no matter that it smells like Drain Cleaner. Companies that churn this muck out are laughing all the way to the bank.I can see me going off grid soon…the world’s turned to shite…now get out of my fucking site…bunch of CUNTS.

  7. Thank Christ I have no wifey forcing me to watch TV shite and these inevitable insufferable adverts.

    Thank the Lord for the internet and ability to watch anything without adverts.


  8. Normally involve “stupid” white Dad,super-efficient Darkie Mum,a pair of oh-so-cute, extraordinarily-haired, Black and White Cunt style brats, wise old Grandpa Remus,(came on The Windrush,and never done an honest day’s work since), Dotty Old White Granny who obviously stinks off piss, and various assorted Poofs and Raspberries to remind us of what a modern British family should now involve.
    They sit around a table groaning with the finest delicacies that Iceland and the benefit system can provide while White Dad ,oh so hilariously, trips over Grannie’s commode-chair while carrying in the sprouts,and Darkie Mum (using Cousin Stabby’s knife,presumably) carves the monstrous,tasteless,dried out
    Dodo of a turkey. Highly suspect white Uncle offers to let the kids sit on his knee,while making side-splitting joke about being a “leg-man.” Muslim family from next door arrive bearing gifts. Hugely respectable Uncle Mo. offers to take the kids for a taxi-ride after giving them some “special Smarties”.

    I hope that their fucking cheap Christmas tree-lights set fire to their plastic Christmas tree,igniting the pile of over-priced tat presents,setting fire to their Social-loan funded furniture in their Council-owned,housing-benefit flat resulting in the blaze spreading rapidly to the cladding on the outside of their tower-block,resulting in a huge reduction Universal Credit claims in the borough,slightly offset by a massive compensation bill for every shameless,conniving Cunt for miles around.

    Get Fucked.

    • We’re all feeling the love, DF. If some innovative retailer were to use this material in its Christmas ad, I for one would buy whatever they were selling. Maybe you should pitch it to BAE Systems?

      • I rather hoped that Tommy Robinson, UKIP’s new Sargeant At Arms, might be interested in advancing some of my ideas. They would show a somewhat sceptical public that his recruitment proves that the Party is,again, a serious political movement….”Go back to your constituencies,and prepare for Government.”

        • Tommy is controlled opposition dick, hes just a gatekeeper. Ukip is unfortunately a joke party to begin with also they have no real power unlike tories or labour

          Btw What do you cunters think about Nigel leaving Ukip pretty hilarious right? fucker abandoned ship years ago who cares if hes still a member or not an its funny is over moslem racist concerns too lol gatekeepers gatekeeping the gatekeepers

          • All mai stream parties have demonstrated they cannot be trusted and are unfit to govern this country.

            Allowing Tommy Robinson to “advise” UKIP was clearly a mistake and I understand NF’s reasons for leaving. But as you say in reality he gave up with them a long time ago.

            My feelings are that this country is pretty much finished. What do we have to lose by voting for Nigel in which ever Leave party he decides to get involved with?

            The alternatives are more of the same.

          • Evening, Willie,

            I’m afraid,being a cynical bastard,that I have grave doubts about Nigel. I don’t think that he’ll involve himself too much from here on in. Yes,he’ll pop up occasionally to maintain his public profile,but I think that he,basically,knows that The Game is up. He has surprised me with just how much of a lower profile he has adopted post Brexit result…it was almost as if he too really had no idea just how to deliver a Brexit that seemed to come as as much of a surprise to him as anyone.

        • Evening Dick

          I totally agree with your pessimism and disappointment regarding Nigel’s rather lacklustre stance post Brexit. I agree that like both major parties and along with everyone else he probably had no real idea or plan regarding the implementation of Brexit.

          Having said that who else is there that even comes close to talking sense or giving us hope?

          • Even if he had a plan the Government made it perfectly clear when he offered them his services after the referendum they weren’t interested in anything he or UKIP had to contribute.

            Hardly surprising considering they never had the slightest intention of carrying out the will of the people anyway.

            Evening Willie.

          • Lovely Nigel is on LBC nearly everyday and he kelps saying his idea is a free trade deal. As it so happens the EU offered May a free trade deal but they fell out over the Northern Irish border. I would rather be blown up than be in the EU so build a big fuck off Trump wall,I don’t care.

          • He also says No Deal is infinitely preferable to May’s Deal. Pity more people don’t tune in to his show.

    • Fantastic post Dick.

      Paints Xmas as it truly is for many people. Commercially forced money spending on fucking crap. Bleak and truly pathetic false joy.

      • Bleak,that’s the word that expresses Crizmuz perfectly Mr Stroker..24 hours of plastic glee trussed up like a 3 in 1 cadaverous poultry feast fit for the fucking bin. An absolute disgrace, we’ve been suckered in big time for long enough with this routine.Work to live….not live to work,after all,how much “stuff” do you need?

  9. There’s an advert on the radio about two poofs holding hands in McDonalds who will “worry about the gossip in the morning.”

    • How would two poofs even think about engaging in sodomy after consuming that shite, I always get bad gass or a sore tummy when i eat from there. Haven’t eaten from mcdonald’s for years now tho Mcdonald’s is overpriced shit too rather fry up my own its cheaper healthier and tastier

      • I wouldn’t have that down my throat nor would I stick my cock in it. Same goes for the Mac Donald’s

  10. Yes, Christmas ads….another thing I fucking hate (amongst the copious other twattery that get right up my fanny)

    That Sainsbury’s ad with the kid dressed as a star while (ahem) ‘singing’ that brainworm song ‘You get what you give’ is doing my nut in lately. At the point she is hoisted up to the top of the Xmas tree there is a sick part of me (but valid due to the mental trauma of having to repeatedly watch this SHITE) that wishes the sprog would get permanently stuck up there, dangling in mid air…..

    ……an rapid case of laryngitis wouldn’t go a miss either.

    Christmas ads now are just competing with each other as to who can go bigger, better and more expensive than the other. It is cynicism at its finest and pretty vomit inducing and certainly not evocative of the meaning and spirit of Xmas, just a bunch of attention grabbing cunts looking to be front page news, fucking cuntwaffles.

    I am old enough to remember the days when Christmas ads consisted of a cheesy Woolworths ad, some naff ‘Quality Street’ ad with nerdy fuckers dressed up in ‘Ye Olde Worlde’ garb singing carols in fake snow and that geeky prick sneaking down to the fridge for his bottle of ‘R Whites Lemonade’…..

    No ulterior motives, no throwing money at it, just plain old, pretty crappy seasonal ads. Now those were the days

    I am now off to drink a bottle of bleach as it is just occurred to me what a seriously old cunt I am if I remember 70’s ads…….Goodbye all!

          • Oh Good!

            I need all the help I can get.

            Just off to Poundland for that ‘Draino’now…..

            (If all the chavs haven’t cleared the shelves. They mix it with Red Bull when they run out of vodka, y’know.)

          • Don’t kill commit suicide please i beg you… Plus their are other more hilarious alternatives also what a cheap bargain basement way of killing yourself

            Come on now Go out with a bang spend some money take copious amounts of narcotics and down a bottle of Hennessy do it with a bit of class and get hammered also drinking bleach can cause blindness if you live from the ordeal so yeah

  11. Fear not: give it another year or two and Christmas (and Easter) will be banned due to causing great offence to the usual suspects.

  12. Sorry but off briefly off topic Cantancurou s.

    Have just returned from town with Mrs Stroker after an appointment with an employment agency.

    Called yesterday and made the appointment. They told us to take Mrs Strokers passport(s) and driving license. I suggested that perhaps in addition we should also take her CV, proof of address and National Insurance number. They said this might be a good idea! FFS, surely they are the experts?

    Leaving Mrs Stroker and I to complete the paperwork whilst they took copies of her passport etc, returned after about 5 minutes telling us that to continue with the process as a Japanese national Mrs Stroker needed something called a Biometric card. We explained that we did not know anything about this, that they did not ask us to take one, and that she has an Indefinite Leave To Remain stamped on her passport, which entitles her to stay and work in the UK “Indefinitely”.

    According to the Home Office (who I spoke with) the law changed about 2 years ago (half way through Mrs Strokers 4 year at her last job) she now needs to spend £170 obtaining to obtain this card. Without it she cannot work.

    Does this apply to immigrants from Romania or Bulgaria (Eastern Europeans) I asked, and do they need to pay to have this card in order to work? The answer is NO. Anyone from the EU is exempt.

    To summarise, my wife came to the UK in 2004 in a fiancé visa. We got married in the same year. Together we had to go to London (to a lovely place called Lunar House) for a fairly horrendous interview with an Indian lady and submit a tremendous amount of financial information relating to her work qualifications, criminal record, references, my income, mortgage, savings, job etc. Only after this was she allowed stay, and after we paid £500. I felt very, very angry as to how we were both treated at the interview. Tempted to lose my temper but realised this would have probably terminated the application.

    Anyone thinking that we still live in anything like a fair and indiscriminately country must be completely fucking deluded.

    A person can come in from Romania with a criminal record, who cannot speak the language, without any professional qualifications, without a job or work history, take immediate advantage of the NHS and without any apparent problems or costs involved. Welcomed in the UK with open arms.

    Whereas Mrs Stroker from Japan is well qualified, no criminal record, hard working, always in employment has been given a less than friendly welcome, with obstacles and hurdles with much additional expenditure and requirements throughout not expected of our Eastern European friends.

    If it has now become a crime in this country to discriminate in any way because of age, sex, colour, religion, sexual preference etc whether it be by employers in the workplace or defined as a hate crime outside of the workplace, so why is it seemingly legally permissible to OPENLY discriminate against anyone outside of the EU? Surely this is illegal?

    But no, as these are EU laws. And these EU laws give priority to the people’s of Europe over anyone else even if the non EU applicant is a better qualified candidate.

    Totally fucked off with the EU and successive governments (starting with Blair) that have led us down the path leading to the sorry state this country has become.

    I voted to leave the EU because of fucking nonsense shit like this, just get us the fuck out..


      Make that £229. Cost of a visa to work in the UK if you were born outside of the EU. Even if you are already working and have a stamp in your passport allowing you to do so.

      This is on top of an initial expenditure of £500.

      £0 if you were born inside the EU.

      EU is clearly best, “foreigners” born outside the EU can fuck right off.

      • Fucking Hell Willie – I was looking forward to embracing No Deal, now you got me veering toward Remain! Jeez…

        Good luck with the biometric card, btw. I wonder what part of “Indefinite Leave To Remain” the Home Office don’t understand. You should sue them for Breach of Contract.

  13. Excellent stuff, guys. Let’s face it, ads are shite at the best of times; just look at wank like ‘Go Compare’ and ‘118’. Xmas ads are merely an extension of this cack with another level of cuntery thrown in.
    People who create this muck should try looking for a proper job.

  14. Tolerance is a has been yanked out of it’s proper subordinate place in the heirarchy of virtues and made the supreme virtue. Our only duty.

  15. These adverts don’t work – **a note to their creators** – as if I didn’t have an ‘oh just let them die’ attitude, I would have succumbed into donating money to all the charidees begging me to help at every ad break.

    If I had donated money to all these adverts trying to pull on my heart strings then I quite possibly would be broke, on the streets and desperate.

    So, I blame them for causing human misery in the first place.

    Goodbye for now.

    • You’re comment was in the moderation queue. Read “important stuff” page rather than sending us snooty notes on the contact page.

  16. That fucking Mango Coke ad makes my fucking piss steam. That trendy cunt strutting along tell all and cunting sundry what he’s really into with his oh-so-fucking hip Americanisms. I could quite cheerfully kick his fucking corpse until it stops twitching.

  17. Thanks komodo. At cross purpose slightly. I come at Blair from a different angle and the Advent Calendar is a good example. Blairism was not a political movement. It was and is a religious one. He believes he is the saviour of the world. The light of the world. He has a Messianic belief in his own powers of communication. In himself. Tony Blair is not an evil person. In a sense he is a too virtuous person. That’s why he could go into Iraq and cause untold carnage because he believed himself to be invincibly right. And still believes so. He has absolute truth. He is infallible. Re this thread-we are overun in this country not because of some Kalergi conspiracy or the evil EU even but because the virtues are running riot in the modern world.They are not balanced in a religious system. They are all out of order in the secularism of today. Why all the virtue-signaling on social media? I thank you.

    • Good point re Blair, but not an original one. Private Eye was referring to Blair as the Reverend Blair while he was still in office. The Advent calendar merely confirms his messianic pretensions. But I see he still hasn’t persuaded the Pope to let him take over, or even accept half-a-dozen expensive suits from Global Blair, Inc to advise the Vatican on good governance.

      You may deplore the collapse of religion (though Islam is still in pretty robust health). I deplore the collapse of common sense.

  18. Judging by the people and families portrayed by the ads on telly, Xmas or otherwise, is everyone now in a mixed race relationship?
    It looks that way to me.
    I must divorce and seek a suitable partner, I wonder if Abbott is available or is Corbyn still having a cheeky scuttle from time to time?
    I quite fancy bouncing some blubber

  19. I fucking despise those Cadbury’s ads… With all those ‘aren’t they lovable and great?’ fucking peacefuls in them… Since when did flogging choccy at Christmas have to do with towelheaded sandfilth?…. Oh, and Roses are now officially crap… An overpriced half full diddy plastic tub, crappy and cheap wrappers, and all the best ones now no longer in it…. Always was a Quality Street man myself….

    • Boycotted all Cadbury’s products Norman ever since it was bought by Kraft.

      The lying cunts shut down a main production location and made staff redundant (after promising they wouldn’t), changing recipes, introducing many new unwanted American type products, putting up prices and reducing the quantity and quality.

      What’s not to like? Quite a lot really.

  20. Oh moslems eat turkey too?, oh neat thanks tesco for letting me know that, very informative informations but explain the halal method of killing the bird oh then they aren’t stunned or killed compassionately but ritually slaughtered in brutal throat slashing fashion cool good stuff you diversity appeasing twats

  21. but it’s not messianic ‘pretensions’. He really believes he has a messianic role in saving the world. From ‘the foundation of the world’. Quickly my position could be summed-all these institutions with a globalist agenda are really made up religious fanatics. With no religion.

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