Vegfest

Here’s one for your diaries.

27/28 October London Olympia.
Vegfest:UK.

A celebration of the “vegan lifestyle “ with 300 stalls, lectures from various up their own arse pontificating cunts and a special section for the “little ones” to “undestand the advantages of healthy eating.”
Fuck me, I wish my old man ( gawd rest his soul ) had taken me to something as exciting as this instead of the fucking football. What a cunt eh?
There’s also live music from two stages. I wonder what vegan music sounds like? I suspect it may be very like the Jesus music I sang along to in Sunday School.

I don’t want to march with the infantry
Ride with the cavalry
Shoot with the ‘tillery
I don’t want to zoom on the enemy………i’m In the LORD’S ARMY!!!

Oh please fuck off.
I’ve got one thing to say to these followers of the new religion…….. you’re going to die anyway cunts! Just accept it and stop shitting yourselves ( literally ) you wankers.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

38 thoughts on “Vegfest

  1. Just imagine the stench within those two halls from the vegan farts? If you could somehow capture all that biogas and store it, there would be sufficient energy in the ultra-high calorific noff-miasma to burn and heat many London homes.

    Also imagine the scintillating discussions between the participants; tofu production and 1001 things one can do with a mung bean, amongst others.

    At least when Olympia hosts the real ale fest in August, the conversation is a little more lively. Especially when assisted by a few pints of Old Wallop.

    Veg-fest indeed. What a pile of cunt.

    • Their rectal emissions are probably a major contributor to climate change.
      They need to be dealt with, the irresponsible cunts.
      Good morning.

    • I feel sorry for the poor bugger that has to clean the bogs after this wankfest. I’d call in sick for the week.

  2. Vegfest? What. The. Fuck?
    What is wrong with these people?
    Well I can only imagine it’ll look like a get together of gbbo’s kim joy with her entire family.
    The fucking horror!

  3. I can imagine these veg-spotters going into a bit of violent frenzy on Shitbook on the subject of the nutritional value of lentils over chickpea beans!

    I can also imagine how some cunt at this Vegfest will somehow shoehorn Brexit into a conversation about Brussels sprouts, and how it will be an utter disaster for those cunts that eat them should Brexit ever happen blah blah

    Green cunts!

    • When is this year’s cunt fest on, and where.
      I can imagine the food stalls being full of top nosh, like Frey bentos, breakfast out of a tin meals, pot noodles and many more delicacies from Aldi.
      Seeing and talking to all your favourite cunts in person.
      Is a Cunt badges,is a cunt t-shirts and caps.
      And a different “is a cunt” celebrity every year to mingle with us lesser cunts
      It would be amazing to attend and meet all you cunts

  4. I spy with my little eye some unwashed vegan with bright pink hair. Probably in need of some vagifresh, vagisil, and a concentrated bleach bath.

    If they’re committed to saving the earth and recycling they should curdle all the collective gash stilton at that event. It could probably feed all those weedy wankers for a whole year.

  5. They even have vegan comedians at the event, any innuendoes about foot longs, wieners or beef curtains are strictly a no-no.

  6. Years ago a friend of mine who had a garage had to deal with a particularly difficult Cunt who was a newcomer to the village and a bit of a novelty in those days, being a Veggie along with his mousy wife and pale child. After several return visits moaning that his pissy little wankmobile still wasn’t right,my friend had had enough. When the car next came in,he got hold of a dead rabbit,chopped it into lumps and shoved choice bits, and it’s guts, somewhere in the heat-blower system of the car. Fuck me,what a result. If the Cunt had a wiff about him before,it was nothing compared to the stench after several days having to travel an hour each way to work,all the time being gently basted in the fumes off a decomposing rabbit. It left him smelling like a corpse out of a plague-pit. He brought the car back in to be checked to see if something could be found possibly stuck underneath,he took to manically scrubbing it inside and out every spare minute he had,alas all to no avail. The car fucking hummed,as did it’s poor occupants. Eventually he must have taken it to another garage because he never spoke,or used my friend’s garage again….no great loss.

    Fuck them.

    • I knew a bloke who swears this is true. His ex wife married a butcher. In that part of the country they refer to skinning and gutting a rabbit as scunting. A little old lady walks into the butchers and asks for a rabbit. Do you want it scuntin’ says the butcher. Yes leave it in says the old lady, I’ll feed it to the cat….

  7. What really fucks me off about these abject cunts is that they have to have alternatives to non veggie products. I knew a peaceful who was eating a BLT at lunch. But you don’t eat pig, says I. Ah she says, but this is turkey bacon. Well if that floats yer boat ok. But vegan milk, vegan cheese, vegan egg and vegan meat; the fucking hypocrisy of it. Why not go the whole fuck hog? (Which would be some spit roast monstrosity made of coconut, carrot and soybeans) If you want to avoid something fucking well avoid it, do summat different. Stop clinging on to old ideas. Linda McCartney is fucking dead (yes I know she was vegetarian) so what is the point of nut roast and soy sausages? Why feel the need for a piss poor substitute? Fucking Quorn? Fucking Qunt. I love it in my home town when there’s a food fest and some bloke is grilling ostrich burgers (yes I know, the dirty bastard!) next to the vegan stand. Every vegan is a fart smelling abject, snivelling, precious CUNT! Gimme A Gloucester Old Spot sausage any day, preferably not up the arse.

  8. My ex and I did a nut roast once or twice (we aren’t vegans); was really tasty. but we about blew the windows out…

    Vegetables are especially nice when served with meat.

    And, as my ex was from Leics., Quorn is either a hunt, or a load of old mould, compressed and bleached.

    Given my late mother’s (the auld bitch) fondness for the equines, I shall pay a visit to Dartmoor and eat a burger made out of their surplus local ponies.

  9. Imagine being a kid brought up in a vegan family with your knobhead, sanctimonious parents constantly lecturing you about that filth they call meat.
    While other kids are getting into smoking, drinking and porn the highlight of your life is sneaking into McDonalds and shoving a burger down your throat. You live in constant fear of your mates grassing you up and they are always taunting you with KFC and corned beef sandwiches. Still it could be worse……..you could be a fucking peaceful!

  10. Vegan/Veggie cunts can be really irritatingly picky cunts at times as well.

    I have a couple of veggie friends, but we no longer go out for a meal because they do our fucking heads in! Doesn’t matter if its a pub or a restaurant they will go through the fucking menu with a fucking tooth comb, mumbling about this, complaining about that; checking their phone to find out if a particular salad concoction is genuinely all salad; they will then ask the waiter a shitload of questions, and then they will say something like….

    “Can I have the blah blah, but I don’t want the blah or the blah; and can I have the blah cooked in a blah; and can you keep the blah separate from the rest of the blah….Oh I am allergic to blah blah; does it contain blah blah because I can’t handle blah blah at all well!”

    And it was the same shit for the dessert. By the time they got round to ordering their fucking meal it was almost time for last orders! And they would always act very condescendingly when our meat meals were served while they chewed on their fucking carrots and lettuce bollocks!

    Cunts!

  11. The vegan lifestyle imposes a major physical restriction on the body.
    It is very difficult to provide your body with all of the nutrients it needs if you insist on eating this way.
    I have trained with veggies, and whilst they may be stronger, it doesn’t last long. They always run out of stamina comparitively early, and recovery times are far longer for them.
    Vegans have even less protien in their diets, so physical activity will be even harder again for them.
    Now imagine those poor kids – they are not only at the age where they should be the most physically active, but they are also growing.
    Their parents have essentially hamstrung them, guaranteeing that they will develop an under nourished body and will never be able to physically compete with their fellow humans. And all for some bullshit ideology that ignores fundamental biology and evolution.
    Apparently a lot of them think they are saving the planet in some way, but this is nonsense. As pointed out above, they are major contributors to the greenhouse effect.
    They are super cunts anyway, but fucking up their cunts is incredibly selfish and irresponsible.

  12. Was having a piss in the Bury Millgate Gents bogs last week, and I clocked a poster on the wall above the urinals… It had a pig on it (no, it wasn’t an Adele tour advert), and it graphically went on about how animals are killed for meat and it ended with a Nineteen Eighty Four-esque ‘Go Vegan! You Know It Makes Sense!’… Now I don’t give a fuck who eats what (although 99% of vegans I have met are total knobends), and not eating meat should be a personal choice… But for councils and cunts to shove it down peoples’ throats Chrissie ‘Hindley’ Hyde and Morrissey style is well out of order and yet more from the nanny state and its ministry of propaganda… First it was smoking, then it was drinking, then it was free speech and ‘hate crime’, now it’s telling people what they can and can’t eat…. The cunts will want to ban sex next… Well, proper sex between men and women they won’t like… I dare say every other ‘minority’ and weirdo will be given free reign and encouragement… As Terry Hall once put it, The lunatics have fucking taken over the asylum….

  13. You can bet your life that every vegan/veggie is also a 100% fucking save the planet, animal rights, green , i’m so fucking superior wanker. Every one i’ve ever known is anyway.
    I always tell them that if animals don’t want to be eaten they should learn to run faster. Strangely enough that always gives them the hump. Miserable cunts.

  14. Piss was boiling when I saw the bbc going on about climate change. Apparently we should eat less meat, including beef. First of all sort out the third world cunts who belch the shit out by the tonn. Do you think it will make any difference to the climate if we in the West do anything, no because the likes of India and China give no fucks. As for meat fuck you vegan wankers, with your reformed soy shit. I just love a nice big horse steak on the bbq. Unfortunately the UK is to snowflake to sell horse (oooh it’s cute!). But the French are more than happy to indulge my horse eating. So stick that up your snow flake condescending stinking arseholes, fecking vegans! Cunts one and all.

  15. Best way to save the planet is to kill all the snowflakes. There are far too many of the cunts and I am sure they would be proud of their noble self sacrifice.

  16. I might go.

    Take a packed lunch.

    Pepperami snack to start.

    Sausage, bacon and egg stottie.

    Bag o’ scratchings.

    Washed down with 2 or 3 cans of “Not Suitable for Vegetarians” Guinness.

    Laaaaaaveleeeeee!!!

  17. Vag-fest, huh? I should ready a cunting for Morrissey since that faggot is sure to attentionwhore himself out about it as loudly as possible.

  18. What a top cunting – might get down there and have a munch on a BK or Maccys – don’t care for either that much, but to trigger a few of these right on cunts, it would be well worth munching on the odd big mac or whopper. Fuck it I may go down and bar-b-q a few spare ribs on the Weber compact and watch the cunts go wild.
    These vegans are all the same, very well off, all white, all liberals and all CUNTS.
    Cancer of the eye-balls would not be wasted on these Twats but even better a vegan version of mad cow disease such as chick pea leprosy would be quality.

  19. I once had a veggieburger and could hardly get out of the shitter for two days after. I’m sure there’s a moral in there somewhere.

  20. All those hippies together in one place.
    Everybody should pray for a meteorite strike, or maybe a missile could “accidentally” go off course.
    Smelly cunts…

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