The Chequers Hokey Cokey

On 24 June 2016, I felt true elation. The day before. 17.4 million Britons had played ‘x marks the spot’, and delivered a two-fingered salute to the European Union. We’re OUT. We’re throwing off the corrupt, stifling stranglehold of the EU, so kiss my ass Juncker, you pisshead cunt. ‘Brexit means Brexit’ said Mrs May.

Erm, two years on, and we’ve got ‘The Chequers Plan’, the government’s proposal for effecting our withdrawal from The Fourth Reich. Now I’ve tried to navigate my way through the detail, but I’ve become bogged down by some bureaucratic obfuscation. Terminology notwithstanding, I think I’m getting a handle on some of the essentials, and what I’m seeing is giving me the right hump.

Take the matter of immigration, a crucial issue during the referendum campaign. According to May, the Plan means an end to free movement as far as we’re concerned. Instead, we’ll get ‘reciprocal mobility arrangements’. Excuse me? Does it sound to you that we’d be taking back control of our borders as far as THAT bit of mumbo jumbo goes?

Then there’s the question of finance. We’re ponying up £30-40 billion as a divorce settlement, yet on top of this, we’ll be liable for shelling out further unspecified billions annually on the likes of EU aid programmes and ‘defence funding and co-ordination’, under ‘an association agreement’.

What about the all important question of law?. A ‘joint institutional framework’ is proposed, to facilitate UK-EU arrangements. But agreement on our part means that we’ll be subject to the EU’s ‘common rulebook’; in effect, rulings of the European Court of Justice will take precedence over those of UK courts.

As I see it, essentially the UK will still be subject to diktats from the Fuhrerbunker.
Our businesses will be forced to abide by EU regulations, and ECJ rulings will be binding on our citizens, while we will have no representation within EU institutions. We’ll be rule-takers, NOT rule-makers; out, but not REALLY…

I could go on, but I hope you’ve got my point. The EU wants to kick us to discourage others from following our lead, while getting its claws on as much of our cash as possible, all while pursuing its own dubious political dream of a ‘superstate’ run by the Brussels elite.
‘Brexit means Brexit’? Not on the basis of this fucking Judas sell-out. To quote Jacob Rees-Mogg, ‘Chequers is NOT Brexit’, and he’s bang on the money; it AIN’T what we voted for. No Mrs M, you can take your plan and fuck off over there. Then when you get there, you can fuck off again.

Meanwhile you folks, let’s all do the Chequers Hokey Cokey. We’re IN, no we’re OUT, in out in out shake it all about…

Nominated by Ron Knee

42 thoughts on “The Chequers Hokey Cokey

  1. Like most people I am not convinced that Boris is a true Brexiteer and his espousal of the cause is more likely a case of opportunism. However , when even that cunt says this Chequers thing is shit then I sit up and take notice. Moggy says it’s bollocks, Sir Nigel says it’s a pile of cunt so what more do you want?
    At first the EU fascists laughed at it , now they are making conciliatory noises and I can see why. This is a massive con and the Hunchback thinks she can get away with it and satisfy her own party traitors like Hammond and Soubry. She may pull that off but she still has all the opposition votes to deal with and they want Remoan and nothing less. She needs to fuck right off and the Tory cunts need to get someone in who actually believes in getting out of this empire of shite.

      • Not even Peter Sutcliffe would admit to “@metoo”ing the Hunchback 30 years ago.
        Her husband is a brave man, although not as brave as Catweazle for conquering the north face of Mount Abbott (hey, credit where it’s due…none of us would be that brave/warped!)

  2. Great stuff Mr Knee.

    Brexit, in the hands of Remainers Appeaser May and Olly Robbins (ex close advisor to Bliar), is a massive confidence trick and always was. Chequers has fuck all to do with leaving the European Union, it’s a BIG LIE – Brino at best, it’s worse even than Remaining, so what’s their fucking game?

    Basically, Chequers = Brino with a £39 billion down payment in place of the previous £10 billion net annual subscription fee to keep the 4th Reich rolling along nicely for the next 4-5 years while the UK Civil Service and the Brussels bureaucrats quietly decide on how to restore the financial status quo.

    As Ron points out, Freedom of Movement remains under a different name, it’s all a fucking sham – with the foxes in charge of the hen house what else would you expect?

    I suspect it was signed off months ago by Merkel and Macron. The current charade being played out between Barnier, Druncker, Tusk, the Irish Tea-Shop and little Dom Raab (is he in on it?) is all simply window dressing.

    Now the cunts are saying a deal can be done in 12 days…?!

    It’s enough to make a cat laugh.

    Get fucked.

    • Evening RTCP.

      Had the same thought as you. It’s been months of pissing about and all of a sudden a rabbit comes out of the hat? Yeah, right.

      I’m still amazed we even got a vote and that leave won it to be honest.

      • Evening Chunky.

        Am fucked off with the whole kit n’ caboodle. Time we made use of Trident. On ourselves if necessary.

        “If Brexit is lost, the nation will also perish. This fate is inevitable. There is no necessity to take into consideration the basis which the people will need to continue a most primitive existence. On the contrary, it will be better to destroy things ourselves because this nation will have proved to be the weaker one and the future will belong solely to the stronger European Union (Germany). Besides, those who remain after the battle are only the inferior ones, for the good ones will have been killed.”

        (Mr Ruff Tuff Hilter ‘Scorched Earth’ policy, North Minehead, October 2018)

      • It was reported today in the DM and RT that we are now signed and committed to providing military support, and increased presence to defend the EU , and principally Germany. Another reveal, is that May has offered to NOT negotiate trade deals with any non EU country for a period of 3 years. Yhis is ( as she believes ) sweetener, and an excuse to bung more money to Brussels. Although RT is not necessarily the most reliable source, I noted some degree of corroboration in the DM at lunchtime.
        If true, May has ( IMHO ) committed the final act of treason, and deserves to be held to account at a peoples court ( at which, members of ISAC shall preside )
        The whole thing is a cunt!

      • I’m liking the policy. About time we dusted off the old warheads and gave them a whirl, would certainly brighten up our perpetual grey skies and do away with the cunts determined to poke my eye out with their umbrellas today.

        Minehead, lovely part of the world. Family has roots in Barnstaple. Always considered it to be my real home and not Londoninistan.

      • Had a great family holiday with parents and sis at the Marine Hotel, Instow, about 40 years ago; I think it was eventually converted into flats.
        Visited an old family retainer from my father’s side, in Barnstaple, if I remember. Deaf as a post, but a lovely old girl. Tea from a brown enamel pot, scones, cream, jam, cake – the lot.
        She lived in an old terraced house, just off the main road into town, I think. The drop between her front door and back garden seemed about 100 ft.

    • Spot on, RTC.

      Mavis has ZERO bloody intention of delivering anything remotely resembling a proper Brexit.
      Every time she goes into a meeting, the outcome is utterly predictable: embarrassing failure. Because it’s deliberate. She is a remainer, and despite her promises (which ain’t worth the stench that vibrates her vocal folds when she utters them), she has no interest in doing what she promises.

      Bugger her. Let’s face it, she’s stuck her scrawny arse up in the air for everybody in Brussels. Bet she wobbled a lot on her 10″ bugger-me high heels…

      • The bitch is all talk and no trousers. The lights are on but nobody’s in office.

        Without Steptoe, McDoughnut & Flabbottomus et al, she’d have been toast long ago.

  3. Nothing to add here but the quality of the cuntings of late has been splendid. Keep it up, cunts.

  4. Fuck knows where I have been but I have just read of a two week old baby that has been raped and is now in Belfast hospital. The scum cunt is a 25 year old from Armagh who has been charged with intent and gbh but can’t be named, I guess for legal reasons. If this sicko cunt had/has committed this sick crime he should be named and his face shown all over the media.

    • Let the real IRA rip that baby raper limb from limb,skin the cunt alive then one in the head,if hunchback Mavis betrays us then I hope the Uk burns and all tory voters vote for Corbyn in revenge,I never vote now anyway cos its futile under a corrupt system

    • And there is no cure for people that fucked up. Even if he went to prison for 15 years, it wouldn’t take that inclination away from him and he will always be a danger to children.
      Lets hope a very long set of stairs await.
      If his name is revealed, doubtless people will assume he’ll be “taken care of” at some point but he won’t.
      Remember that cunt that murdered Baby P? Steven Barker. At the time, it was reported that underworld crime bosses had a contract out on him, such was the heinousness of his crime. Yet he’s still alive, unfortunately.
      It’s so frustrating that the punishment never fits the crime.

  5. So the idiot collective of the family are watching cunt factor.

    Went in to pick the shit-rag up to read whilst passing stool only to be confronted with a terrible Prince tribute act.

    Judge gives the undeserving cunt a “seat” whilst ejecting an Izzard freak.

    Izzard freak gets uppity and so they kick out another cunt just to appease the lip gloss high heels boy with a voice that could cut through blackboards.

    Alas the ejectee is “culturally enriched” so they do a sing off (if you could call it that).

    At the end the weak judge decides to keep both rejects in deference to a non “culturally enriched” type who could actually sing, wrote his own songs and – amazingly – could play the guitar.

    You know, I’ve got a pretty decent voice. I’ll enter next year, wear a frock, cock-ring and butt-plug, bit of lippy…

    Absolute shoe-in. Where’s my £1m contract?

    O’course I would no longer be able to fratenise with you waycist, xenophobic, misogynist, Brexit cunts because I’d have a neo-liberal facade to maintain.

    Ooh, you vaginas you!

  6. No jazz hands for me where that cunt Juncker is concerned, I’d give him a high five right to the face with my ex wife’s colostomy bag.

  7. I feel the same as you Smasher, I never thought I would say it but if leaving means staying in any form I would never vote again. Fuck the establishment I feel anarchy coming on.

  8. Hokey-Cokey indeed, though what about other EU-inspired songs:

    🎵 The wheels on the negotiations go round and round, alll day lonnng 🎶

  9. Now cuntface Juncker is saying the “deal” could be concluded within weeks.
    I smell a fix lurking beneath the smell of a great big steaming pile of shit.

    • Evening guys
      Wouldn’t give that cunt Juncker the skin off a fart.
      I’d bet the fix really went in when May went to meet Fuhrer Merkle for ‘discussions’
      Hope that The Mogg and Farage are sharpening their blades.

  10. Noel Gallagher has branded Corbyn a ‘lunatic’ if he became PM. Didn’t he hobnob with the Great Satan Blair in No 10, quaffing champers and welcome in the start of the shit fest we find ourselves in today?

  11. Kavanaugh confirmed!Having a beer to celebrate.A victory for common sense.Innocent until proven guilty is bedrock of law and democracy.Drif she was telling truth although blocking his appointment would have been just it would set a dangerous precedent and make politicians likely to level false accusations to kill off the careers of their enemies in the future.Very slippery slope Ford has announced she won’t pursue her allegations further.Makes me think even more that this was a hit job by Schumer and Feinstein and other democratic senators.If Ford is telling the truth why not take it further?

    • Yeah, apparently the snowflakes are having a mass cry-in and moan up in Washington, getting themselves arrested.
      I hope they all get home before dark. The streets of Washington are no place to be after dark for a white middle class snowflake.

      • What I want know is when these lefties are going to ask for an FBI investigation into the rape and sexual assault claims against Bill Clinton and the accusation that Hillary Clinton threatened his accusers.

  12. If we still have to obey eu laws regarding trade etc. If the ec court still takes precedance over our courts then to my thinking we are still in the fucking eu.
    What a crock of shit. (any spelling mistakes etc. due to large dose of my anti- psychotics bollocks)

    • I think it will be worse than being ‘in’ because they’ll be calling the shots a lot of the time, still getting our cash, but we’ll have fuck all say when it counts.

      • Basically, I reckon this insufferable scenario is to encourage people to vote Remain when we have to suffer the second neverendum.

  13. The thing is, whatever this shitty deal turns out to be, Mavis still has to get it through Parliament. I don’t know what the DUP are going to do but, with or without them, she needs every single Tory vote which she ain’t gonna get. There are at least 60 Tories who prefer the “crash out”, as the Remoaners like to call it.
    I predict another 2 year “extension” while the remoaners rush around getting immos to register to vote. Followed by, eventually a second referendum.
    As John Lydon said “ ever felt like you’ve been cheated?”

    • In any future referendum they’ll extend the vote to include 16 year olds and ALL expats living in Europe (currently only those who have lived there for less than 15 years are entitled to vote).

      • Fucking right. The more dimmos and self interested cunts they can include in the franchise the better. They just need the time to sort it.

  14. At the very moment that Jim Apple was having trouble introducing himself in France, over at a hotel in Berlin, his colleague Gordon Morgan was having similar problems when he arrived for breakfast….

  15. Fuck me JR you can’t tell a joke that requires some thought at this time on a Saturday night.
    Try this one:

    A scouser is sitting at the bar in a pub when an obvious Gaylord comes in . The gay sits next to him , flicking his hair and being obviously gay. Eventually the gay leans over and whispers something in his ear. The scouser says “you cunt!” and knocks him spark out.
    The barman says “fucking hell, what did he say?”
    The scouser says “I dunno……..but it was something about a job.”

  16. José Mourhino: I have begun to feel that if it rains in London tomorrow it is my fault. If people don’t like Brexit it is my fault.

    No, you oily zero, we love Brexit. We just don’t like you, ladyboy. What a fucking paranoid cuntface.

  17. Four brave MET officers injured overnight by knife wounds. Enough of this crap:ARM THEM NOW!
    They need to sue Cressida Strap on and Suck ma Dick Khunt for breaches of elf and safety law: failure to prevent a safe system of working by not providing H+S equipment ( is a gun.)

    • I would have thought that following the sound hiding they got following the Westminster murder of that young Officer, the hierarchy would have immediately tooled up every copper in every city. !
      Hope the guys are ok, nothing in the press up here.

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