Kleenex & Gentlemens’ Relish

Bugger me, latest PC news fresh in the press is that Kleenex “Man Size” is to be re-branded as “Extra Large” due to complaints orf, you are ahead orf me, “it’s sexist” me dears.

Fine for those orf us with a generous Blighty Beezer and a todger to match but in this snowflake age orf all inclusive (went to Pontins Ramsgit once orn one orf those, never again) trans up-arsing it don’t cut the mustard. It short Yours Truly is oitraged and demands a re-branding orf the re-branding.

What turn-key phrase could immediately convey to the end user the product’s USP, its functionality in absorbing all bodily fluids in a non binary existential paradign sort orf way me hearties? Light bulb moment. I give you:

Kleenex Wank Size.

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke

Waitrose is having to change name of its ‘Gentleman’s Relish Chicken Caesar Roll’ after a complaint by one Amy Lamé, who objected on the fatuous basis that she always assumed sandwiches to be gender neutral.

Following a bonfire glow of self-righteous rage from the Twitterati (well, half a dozen half-wits), Waitrose made a snivelling apology, and agreed to change this ‘sexist’ branding. I’m sure that the smug Ms Lamé (make that Lame) will have enjoyed her sandwich as she basked in the adoration of the righteous, and then returned to the demanding duties of being Sadiq Khan’s London Night Czar, whatever the fuck THAT is.

Personally I think that she should get out more, you know, GET.A.LIFE.

Nominated by Ron Knee

A massive cunting for companies who cave in to feminist demands. The makers of Kleenexe tissues for changing the name of the Mansize tissues to appease the whingeing wimmin, and also Waitrose for changing the name of a ‘sexist’ sandwich.
What cunts, grow a spine and tell those tiresome screeching feminists to fuck off.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

29 thoughts on “Kleenex & Gentlemens’ Relish

  1. “Ooohh but if we don’t cave in and change our product names, while endlessley and spinelessly apologising, we might experience a miniscule drop in profits and lose any celebrity endorsements”
    So much for Bono’s (cunt) “savage beast of capitalism”
    More like worms cowering in the dirt.
    We are fucked…

  2. I think some cunt needs to take a look at MENopause and MENcap.
    Disgraceful discrimination.

  3. The edge of the abyss grows ever nearer as we hurtle downhill in a torrent of madness and cuntishness, the worst thing is the driver is not making any attempt to put on the fucking brakes and strap the nutters back into thier seats where the can resume licking the fecking windows.

  4. Amy Lame. A munter of generous proportions who is an entirely pointless Yank import to London where she fits in seamlessly with the other pointless, non-productive cunts.
    The position she holds ‘Night Czar’ has got to be up there with some of the most pointless non-jobs ever envisaged by trendy lefty cunts.

    Below from the job advt:

    ‘The Mayor of London is looking to appoint the UK’s first Night Czar to shape London’s future as a 24-hour city. The Night Czar will champion the value of London’s night time culture whilst developing and diversifying London’s night time economy.’

    This is a city riven with murder and mayhem and infested with cunts, both feral and right-on.

    It is good to see than Khan has his priorites in order, and it is reassuring that this creature has time in her schedule to worry about sexist sandwiches. Probably the only Gentlemen’s Relish she is likely to get.

  5. Time to start a cuntstorm about Aunt Bessies Yorkshire pudding mix. Just need time out of my busy schedule as Scunthorpe’s Night Cunt funded by the EU.

  6. My missus came home early and caught me mid-stroke, jerking off to an optical illusion.

    I said, “It’s not what it looks like”..

  7. This Lame bitch gets 35000 pa for a 2 and a half day week. Nice. Her experience for the job? Being a fat Yank stand up comedian. Apparently she has made London “much safer for women.”
    Of course, we can’t have women shitting themselves at the sight of the word “gentlemen” on a fucking sandwich.
    Good work fat cunt.

    • Had no option but to look the dyke blob up. Apparently she’s now full time with a 100% pay increase.

  8. Condoms will be sexist. Men’s deodorant will be sexist. Men’s aftershave will be sexist. Fuck it, let’s just make misandry a hate crime and watch all the chaos of accusation and counter-accusation unfold:
    “Misogynist!”
    “Misandrist!”
    “Misogynist!”
    “Misandrist!”
    “Misogynist!”
    “Misandrist!”
    “Misogynist!”
    “Misandrist!”

  9. Amy Lame is an oversized American lesbian, who looks like Keir Starmer when he is appearing as the Pantomime Dame, because Sadiq Kunt thinks that night time entertainment is more important, than for example 106 murders in the first ten months of this year in London (but not quite so important as trying to thwart Brexit) -s o you have Mini Cunt and Maxi Cunt together there – two arseholes for the price of one. Night zsar?-fright zsar more like it.

    It is time we stopped appeasing wimmin with *degendering* products – unless it’s their jam rags or Tenalady piss absorbers of course.

  10. I wonder how much this is costing these Kleenex cunts for repackaging, rebranding, advertising etc.
    If I were a shareholder i’d be fucking fuming, chucking my money away on this libtard bullshit. I won’t be buying any of their products again. If necessary i’ll wipe my arse on the curtains like the peacefuls and the pikeys.

    • If I were a shareholder, I’d be holding, to see if wimminz previously alienated by a male-only brand were queuing up to buy a much more practical size of snotrag than they had previously experienced. This is a marketing ploy which just happens to fit the PC fashion.

  11. Whatever next? Durex becomes Duregina, I suppose (Sir L got that even if you cunts didn’t) and the world’s shoutiest football team will be Personchester United. Still, one change will be logical. Step forward Lord Peter Unassignedgenderdelson.

  12. Wasn’t there an advert, some years ago, for Yorkie Bars describing them as “not for girls” or something similar?
    I wonder what today’s feminazis would make of that, especially Fatguts Lame who I imagine has shifted quite a bit of chocolate in her time.

  13. The humble sandwich takes its name from a not so humble bloke ergo one can, if pressed by a rotund, unfunny, overpaid American failed comedian, argue that it also has his gender. One need look no further than the cheese-eating surrender specialists across the Channel for evidence in support of this proposition, for it is referred to in the land of haw-he-haw as ‘le sandwich’.

  14. Apparently the widespread and appalling treatment of women and girls across most of the muslim world isn’t important enough to trigger these useless feminist cunts.

  15. Is this the same 24hr cite known as the rundahn tahn immigration infested shithole where the overpriced pubs within a 5 mile radius of Cunting Cross all call last orders at 11pm much to the bemusement of the tourists, cus the Met Pillock don’t want any twrobell? 24hrs, my arse.

  16. A friend of mine worked at city hall when that job went out; the reason they picked her amongst a number a of other candidates (all having had extensive backgrounds in the entertainment and music industries for decades) was because she’s gay and it was decided by the big wigs in charge that it’d make Khan look open and pro gay given his background supporting and speaking at rallies alongside hard line Muslims (who are anti women/gay).

  17. How long do you think it will be before peoples names are regarded as sexist?

    Maybe Prince was right and we’ll all end up being a squiggle.

  18. I was wondering when this would happen, fucking feminists are the biggest fucking losers in society I swear. I think they have the opposite effect of what they are trying to achieve, i.e. instead of trying to make women strong andindependent, they make women look like special little snowflake whingers who will be raped by the nearest bloke who is unfortunate to be in near vicinity. Cunts, the lot of them.

  19. Mother Earth
    Mother Ship
    Motherboard
    Motherfucker

    I demand you either get rid of these or change the name to something gender neutral, for they are deeply offensive to men!

    But of course gender politics doesn’t work that way does it!

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