Ants (as distinct from Ant of Ant & cunting Dec) are spooky little bastards. They really creep me out, crawling out in droves from cracks in the pavement or under rocks in the garden. Worst is when it’s a really hot, humid day, and they pile out in their thousands, running about like demented ferrets, before the little fuckers with wings swarm into the air, about as welcome as the Luftwaffe over the East End.
It’s the utterly remorseless quality of the wee arseholes that gets me, not to mention their sheer numbers. Give ’em a chance, and they’ll strip the hide off an elephant and leave nothing but a skeleton to bleach in the sun. It’s a mighty good job for us that they aren’t all the size of my fat fucking moggie, or we’d be in real trouble, and no mistake.
PS; Ant & Dec are cunts, as well.
Memo to self; be sure to nip to B&Q soon to get a fucking big tin of ant powder. That’ll learn the cunts.
Nominated by Ron Knee
Splendid cunting Ron Knee.
Little fuckers used to create these sandcastle-like nests in the lawn of the rear garden of my old house. I tried the powder and boiling water remedies, but these proved to be a temporary solution as the little cunts had miraculously reformed their Martello Towers no longer than a few days after my genocidal efforts.
The long term solution I discovered was to pour a generous glug of diesel on their abode and light it.
The diesel burnt slowly and steadily with the odd snap and crackle, but it remorselessly sterilised their mountain of any organic life. A patch of lawn about 6″ in diameter perished but soon grew back with the aid of some grass seed. No more fucking ants nest. The cunts.
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Diesel burned not burnt. Jesus, what is wrong with me this morning.
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No, you were right first time Ron.
The Geordie cunt is worse and even more irritating and ubiquitous than the parasites living in the garden.
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I get the little feckers in my trailer what gets me is the way there are no ants then they as if by magic there are more of them than asylum seekers at Dover, then next day gone
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There are meaningful parallels to be drawn from this cunting:
– The cunts set up where they’re not welcome.
– They rapidly increase their numbers at an exponential rate.
– As soon as they’re established they colonise great swathes of land.
– Once they’re entrenched there’s no chance of ridding yourself of them.
– Eventually they’ll spread to every corner, establishing similar colonies, laying waste to everything in their path!
And then don’t get me started with the ants…
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Do they fuck goats though?
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Maybe look up ANT PORN on xhamster? 😂
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Are we still focussing ants?
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Discussing ants. Fuck
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At least ants are willing to work for a living, unlike…
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Hedge sparrows and blackbirds like ants. Leopards are a possible answer for the others.
(and no, sorry, I don’t like the taste)
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The ants in Australia are total bastards. Millions of them appear overnight in the bin, the bathroom, the kitchen. More than once I’ve had to regrout the bath because the fuckers eat the silicon. Twats.
Here’s another picture for you…
https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2018/09/15/picture-of-the-day-20/
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As with most insects and animals we in the U.K. are lucky to have avoided most of the nastiest motherfuckers , sure our ants are annoying Cunts but anybody who’s familiar the bulldog ant in Australia will tell you we got off light,
Those stinging biting ferocious fuckers are not to be messed with………
I generally hate insects, From the cunty wasp to the annoying ant but gotta be honest and say the U.K. has it relatively easy, although with our changing climate I’m sure worse things are on their way……
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Know what you mean mate. My daughter lived in Texas for a few years, and the local species, fire ants, are pure dead fucking vicious, and no mistake. When me and the missus were there one time, my daughter’s neighbour found a dead raccoon in his garden. He didn’t bother shifting it; about 12 hours later there was nothing left but bones after these little cunts had done. Get bitten off them and you know about it. Lots of houses in Galveston are beautiful old 19th century buildings, and the owners have to fight a constant war against the fire ants’ arse of a relative, the termite. The two most dreaded words in Galveston are ‘termite’ and ‘hurricane’.
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Know what you mean mate. My daughter used to live in Texas, and the local fuckers, fire ants, are a vicious breed and no mistake. I was there one time when my girl’s neighbour found a dead raccoon in his yard, which he just left. By the morning, all that remained was a small pile of bones after the ants had done. Get bitten off these wee cunts and you know about it. Galveston has lots of lovely 19th cent. wooden houses, and the owners fight a constant war against the ants’ arse of a relative, the termite. In Galveston, the two most dreaded words are ‘hurricane’ and ‘termite’.
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Know what you mean, mate. My daughter used to live in Galveston, and the local breed is the truly formidable fire ant. I was there one time when her neighbour found a dead raccoon in his yard. He didn’t bother moving it, and by morning all that was left was a small pile of bones after the ants had done with it. Get bitten off these wee cunts and you know about it.
Galveston has lots of lovely old wooden houses, and the owners wage a constant war against the ants’ bastard relative, the termite. The two most dreaded words in Galveston are ‘hurricane’ and ‘termite’.
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And the jack jumpers, half the size and twice the cunts. Hit and run Formica acid injectors. At least a bull ant will face up for a stoush.
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I used to have ant problems in the drive.
when I relaid the drive with block pavia I went to B&Q and did a bulk buy of ant powder.
I mixed it in with the sand sub base and layed my drive.
shortly afterwards I noted that large black volcanoes were forming on the drive, on closer inspection it became apparent that the lead miners were popping their clogs in my toxic mix and being dragged out the way for another suicide miner to take over, any way after about 2 days of horrific casualties they gave up and fucked off next door!
job done.
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I wonder if there’s anything similar that we could do for our human ant types to make them want to fuck off to the nearest “peaceful” shithole of their choice?
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Pork-infused paint might do it
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Sorry Ron but I resolutely refuse to cunt ants.In fact I really admire them.Theyre clean little bastards,they all work like cunts,theres no ant dole,they stick up for each other,stick to their own communities(except for when they go on the war path) and are really very clever for something whose brain is smaller than a pinhead.
NERDY ANT FACTS
If a man could run as fast for his size as an ant can, he could run as fast as a racehorse. Ants can lift 20 times their own body weight. An ant brain has about 250 000 brain cells. A human brain has 10,000 million so a colony of 40,000 ants has collectively the same size brain as a human.
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An admirable defence, my friend!
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Ants are cool… huh huh.
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Utmost respect for ants.
Hard working by fuckers.
On arguably slightly more pressing matters Sir Vince Cable has urged opponents of Brexit in other parties to join the Lib Dems to create a “more powerful force” in the centre ground of politics.
Desperate deluded smelly old cunt.
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I think the east end could be doing with a return visit
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By the Luftwaffe?
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Willie above. Rejoice and be glad! Our deliverance is nearly upon us. Was watching a news item from a farming show and although a lukewarm response to Gove’s plans all the talk was about what things will be like AFTER we have left. That they can do what they want on their farms-free of all the regulation. Free to focus on producing food for the people here (which I was particualrly glad to hear) like a new dawn-a genuine excitement in the air. Maybe I’m naive but we simply cannot go back.
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I am very much hoping for a no deal. The EU simply don’t deserve one for being such obnoxious cunts, and Theresa May for being a useless spineless lying traitor.
I am aware that Project Fear 2 advise us daily that this will mean the end of life as we know it in the UK but would much prefer that than simply give in.
Will be glad when it is all finally over.
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The ants aren’t that bad… I did like ‘Kings Of The Wild Frontier’….
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I use vinegar for the more troublesome ones, it keeps them out and if I fancy a more entertaining means of inviting the troublesome ones I can heartily recommend molten aluminium and turn their nests into artistic castings.
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Quislings and Cunt’s Mates are right about ants in other countries. My daughter lived in Galveston for a while, and the local variant, fire ants, are absolute little fuckers. I was there one time when my daughter’s neighbour found a dead raccoon in his yard. He didn’t bother to shift it but just left it to the ants, and by the next morning there was nothing left but a pile of bones. Get bitten of these wee cunts and you know about it.
There are a lot of lovely 19th cent. wooden buildings in Galveston, and the residents wage a constant war against the ants’ relative, the termite. The two most feared words in that part of Texas are ‘hurricane’ and ‘termite’.
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Anybody else having trouble posting?
Just testing!
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Cunt’s Mate and Quislings are right about ants in other countries. My daughter used to live in Galveston, Texas’ where right little bastards known as fire ants reside. I was there one time when her neighbour found a dead raccoon in his yard, and he just left it to the ants. By next morning there was nothing left but a pile of bones. Get bitten off these vicious little cunts and you know about it.
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Such an innocent I am. ‘Hope springs eternal in the human breast’. I thought I saw the Promised Land…no we’re not there yet.
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