Virgin Media


Virgin media deserve a cunting.

I get home to find out that several channels in my tv package have been removed. One of which had two series set to record, another couple I used to watch now and again. It’s ok though, they’ve been replaced with channels that only people cunted on this website would watch, like ‘Vice’ for example, and some others that come from the bottom of the barrel.

I was reassured after my last complaint that my bill would not increase, so instead they swap channels for cheap shit that only people who belong on the Jeremy Kyle show would watch. Trying to contact them to complain requires the resources of Bletchley Park, to end up speaking to some Indian, which doesn’t surprise me too much as there must be two dozen channels on virgin tv dedicated to them.

The only respite in all of this is I’m using their own fucking fibre optics to cunt the bastards.

Nominated by Duke of Cuntshire

25 thoughts on “Virgin Media

  1. Sky are cunts who stealthily wind up the monthly fee when you fall outside their contract period.

    I retain them for broadband and phone only whilst my house rebuild hits the final stage. The monthly bill is £30 inc line rental. As soon as it nudges £31, which it will by the end of September, I will call them and politely pass on a Foxtrot Oscar. Cunts.

    • I have no problem with Sky. We pay around £50pm which covers everything. It’s £35 for the TV (entertainment channels, 2 STB’s, multiroom), £8 for the phone including all-day national calls,and a phenomenal £6 for 38Mb fibre broadband. We don’t pay any line rental either. Owing to a large quantity of gin in the last 2 days I will refrain from commenting on Virgin, but let’s just say that if the word cunt was equal to the phrase fluffy kitten then CUNT would be my opinion of this bunch of fucking yank thieving arseholes (it’s no longer beardy bastards company).

  2. Has that dirty remoaner beardy fucking wanker still got his grubby little fingers in this particular pie? It’s hard to keep up with Tricky Dicky’s taxdodging adventures. Either way the cunt needs to fuck off the creepy little cocksucker.

  3. A timely cunting. I took the plunge yesterday and cancelled my subscription to their atrocious service.

    It’s like you aren’t actually allowed to fucking cancel. They are fucking crooks and if I was a vulnerable person I would have given up just due to how hard they make it.

    I had to go through 3 departments and once they know what you want , they either just leave you on hold or subject you to one of the hardest sells known to man.

    I had to tell them to fuck off in the end

    Utter cunts .

    • I’m considering cancelling with these fucks and I was wondering if, when you cancelled COTL, did you get through to British people or was it a bunch of Indians?
      I’m a bit mutton jeff y’see and can never understand what Indians are jabbering on about.
      Fucking 70 quid a month with no specific sports or movies?
      They must’ve seen me coming.

      • Christ man, we’ve got to get your bill down.

        Firstly, they have two general hubs that I can tell – one in Wales and one in Chapatti-Bangalore. From experience, I find I get through to the Welsh centre (lesser of two evils) if I call between late morning and early afternoon. Call in the evening and you WILL get an Indian bot, guaranteed.

        I recommend you have a look at what Virgin offer new customers, and look at what Sky offer generally. If you call VM expressing ‘disappointment’ and cite what Sky can give you telling them you are thinking of leaving (even if no intention of leaving), they’ll see you’ve done your homework and hopefully thereupon whisk you to retentions for a better package.

        £70 is high for no sports/movies and I reckon you must be on their ‘XL’ TV package which really could be he next one down unless you watch loads of different channels.

        As a guide, I have middle broadband (plus phone, fucking con) and middle TV; recently got sent latest kit for one-off £20 and my regular bill is £45. I could prob get cheaper than that, too.

        Good luck, hope you can negotiate a better deal, squire.

      • Nice, thanks Ronnie…er I mean Empire. It’s only that high I think ‘cos of my fast broadband. But yes, I will most assuredly call the buggers and get the bill down.

      • Hello TTCE.
        I left or should I say binned sky ages ago and wouldn’t have any Virgin product if it were free. I got fibre broadband with EE including the very handy all inclusive 24×7 free calls to any 01, 02, 03 numbers and any non premium rate lines including any mobiles and about 24 countries – handy because my youngest lives abroad and can yap anytime we like at no extra. That’s £30 a month. As for TV I bought one of them openbox thingy’s for £60 then a “gift” for 12 months for £29.95 – the gift being the access to any satellite kicking around distributing a TV signal. I am not a massive telly fan but I must have upward of 3,000 channels plus freebies like video on demand and any movie released within a week its on there. Its HD and it also includes all the sky stuff – movies, footy, 3pm kick offs and if you are into it – 50 channels of top quality porn – hard porn too. So that’s my outlay for the year. The top virgin // sky package leaves you out of pocket to the tune of £100+ if you have one of those new Q boxes. Fuck that – paying as much for your leccy and gas to watch shit TV makes no sense unless you are nailed to your lazy cunt recliner and have brass to burn. Shop around chum – and get hooked into the openbox stuff – save you a fucking fortune. Plenty of stuff on t’internet and its cheap and reliable.

      • I spoke to one person that I thought might be English , the others were very definitely Indian. I feel sorry for them, I can only imagine the staff meetings where their jobs are threatened for every customer that they fail to make stay.

      • I’d imagine so. I have no beef with the Indians…just can’t make head nor tail of what they’re saying.
        On a connected note, if any cunters have kids that ride motorbikes, make sure they wear ear plugs! That’s what’s fucked my hearing, not wearing them in my 20’s and screaming around on my bike. It really hammers your eardrums.

      • Are you sure it wasn’t listening to Hallelujah one time too many during a booze & drug fuelled session with headphones turned up to 11 Thomas?

        That’s how I did mine in – not with Hallelujah, but similar – that and hammer drilling into concrete walls for 30 minutes at a time without ear protection, followed by auntie Evelyn screeching into my left ear during one of her interminable telephone monologues. Cunt.

      • There’s 353,000 born every day. 20,000 in the UK alone. Rich pickings for Branson and Murdoch.

        Good morning.

  4. In the film Trading Places, Eddie Murphy suggested to Dan Aykroyd that he shouldn’t go after the people who had ruined his life with a shotgun. Murphy said the way to hurt rich people was to take their money off them.

    I therefore propose the immediate renationalisation of Virgin Rail without compensation. If nothing else, the look on Branson’s face would be priceless.

    Second part of Stephen Fry rant…

    https://mikesplace2017.wordpress.com/2018/08/21/quote-of-the-day-53-part-two/

  5. A cunting that almost goes without saying. I am weighing up whether I can cancel VM TV, due to using Netflix/alt source for Sky Sports almost exclusively.

    Unfortunately though, I have no choice but for VM for broadband due to unique old incoming Telewest cable that, due to the vagaries of my building, would cost a fucking fortune to rip out and replace.

    A fucking vile company and no mistake. Every year or so the cunts raise the price stealthily by £3.99, and you need to be on your toes with threats to leave just to keep the monthly bill semi-respectable.

    On one minor positive note, they have managed to get back some of those temporarily cancelled channels OP referred to; but that in no way prevents Virgin Media from being seriously heavy-duty cuntlords.

  6. Off topic but just to let you lads know the SNP wankers are still at it
    Police Scotland New boss
    Iain Livingstone
    2003 busted from inspector to constable for “ sleeping “ ( apparently forgot) in a junior females room at the police training college
    Of course he forgot I mean we’ve all done it- right ?

  7. Fuck knows how much Virgin Media spend on marketing. We have been receiving literature on average once every two weeks, seemingly for many years. Relatively limited budget so cannot afford to waste money on what we consider to be unnecessary services. Admit to getting fed up with the sheer frequency of the leaflets.

    Regarding brand Virgin, always used to travel to Japan using Virgin Atlantic, bloody excellent however discontinued the service a while back. Only used the west line once, again bloody excellent.

  8. I must get garbage through the post at least once a week from Virgin. Begging me to sign up to their wonderful service. It ain’t gonna happen neither will I be signing up to Sky. I I have a smart TV with Freesat, hundreds of channels that cost me nothing. If there’s a sporting event I want to watch I just buy a NOW TV weekly pass, it’s a bit of a bummer that SKY have nicked most sporting events and forced us to pay for them but they probably get a max of 50 quids out of me per year so fuck ‘em.

  9. I pulled a cracking looking bird a couple of days ago.
    Twenty two years old and still a virgin.
    She said she wanted her first time to be “magical.”
    So I fucked her, then disappeared….

  10. I left BT because their prices went up so high. I went back to Sky and the WiFi is fucking awful , lucky if I get 2 bars in my phone. When I’m in Poland the Broadband is superb everywhere. Why the fuck can’t they give us half decent Broadband/ WiFi over here ?

  11. Why do people pay £50 a month to watch the latest movies, most are shite anyway. There are other ways to watch them for free.

  12. Virgin Media have shite business broadband. It should be for business use – i.e. up 99.9% of the time, but regularly twice a month it goes off in our office. No explanation, no refunds.

    Their last escapade was as mentioned to remove a dozen or so UK TV Play channels (Dave, GOLD, Quest etc) because they didn’t want to pay enough for them. Public outcry, people wanting to switch or get refunds etc. Then 3 weeks later they reinstate them. Don’t know how much they paid in the end or if they got more programmes on catch up or whatever. Big publicity by removing these channels, lots of free advertising and increasing “brand awareness” on social meeja and Al-BBC.

    Their TV hardware is some rebranded TiVo bollocks and their super-duds are some Hitron crap that keep forgetting their settings.

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