The White Stripes

The White Stripes are cunts…

Well, I never liked them anyway, ever… Jack Shite: a screeching fake as Bruce Jenner’s twat pretentious and tuneless cunt, who masquerades as an ‘obscure bluesman’… And his mong-esque wife/sister, who thumps the drums like a smartied up three year old on a toy Chad Valley kit, and who said even less than Big Cynthia (“She knows, y’know!”),,,

Now, I’d forgotten about these two talentless weirdo inbred cunts… But I am sick of hearing that ‘Seven Nation Army’ shite…. Played by the classless Ivans and other sundry wankers throughout the World Cup (why, for fuck’s sake?!), and still on the radio every other hour, every fucking day… I never got why the cunts in the music press ever applauded these two ‘is me sister me wife?’ sacks of hayseed shit… And their most famous noise (I won’t call Seven Nation Shite a song!) sounds like Joey Deacon trying to play ‘Smoke On The Water’… Pair of talentless overhyped cunts…

Nominated by Norman

47 thoughts on “The White Stripes

    • Also responsible for ‘Another Way to Die”
      The theme from the Bond film that no one remembers.
      Quantum of Bollocks…

    • Fab ace top cunting Norm – I just wish I knew what the fuck you are writing about but if you say its a cunt Norm, that’s good enough for me 😉

  1. Norman

    Can honestly say that I have never heard of anyone mentioned in your nomination, Smoke on the Water is the only known reference.

    Sounds like I am not missing out on much.

        • Joey Deacon aka Thomas the Cunt Engine?

          Fucking legend!

          Yeah – I’ve no idea who the Cunt is either Willie.

      • Went to school but not a Blue Peter fan. More of a Magpie, Jenny Hanley or Sue Stranks person.

        Regognise him from the Thomas the Cunt Engine avatar but that’s about it really.


        • Didn’t anyone at school call you “Joey” or “Deacon” or even “Joey Deacon”?
          It was a generic term of abuse meaning “spaz” or “mong.” Our headmaster devoted a whole assembly to telling us how bad it was and we were all going to hell.
          He was right of course. Kids are basically right fucking cunts and i’m living in hell and i’m not even dead yet.

    • With Willie on this. Have heard of the White Stripes but never knowingly heard them. Fuck knows who Joey Deacon is. If you played the Smoke on the Water riff, many years ago, in my local musical instrument shop you got barred until you learned something else.

      • CC, pretend to play a piano at neck level whilst trying to bite your own ear. Then you’ll know who Joey Deacon is.

          • Thanks for that. Doesn’t seem bad although it is the first time I have heard it. (I don’t really do MSM)
            Now, a clip of some fucker playing a piano at neck height chewing his ear would enlighten me further.

          • You clearly live a charmed life Cuntstable, I am well jealous.

            Only recently stopped doing MSM 24/7 myself, so hopefully on the way to joining you in Nirvana…

    • Back in the day,Deacon was King Spaz before being ousted by Hawking. Being addressed in the playground as ‘Joey’ was no compliment. Some kids had it down to a tee, dribbling and all that.

      • In all my years at school (1959 – 1970) no-one ever called me ‘Joey’.

        I was however affectionately called ‘spastic!’ on a regular basis.

        • You were too early for Joey Mr Creampuff. How about mong, flid, bin raider, tramp and window licker? Did you have any of those?

          • None of the above Freddie – just the S word, and the occasional ‘jew’ if I failed to share my 1/6d pocket money with sufficient generosity, even though I wasn’t and am still not of the Jewish persuasion.

            I am however fairly tight.

            Oddly enough, don’t recall being called a cunt either…

  2. Just listened to this for the first time, and I haven’t been missing anything. A bass line, weedy vocals, overdubs and not much else. Don’t need to hear it again.
    Keep hitting that cymbal, darlin’.

  3. Does anyone know the inevitably bullshite reason why the tune is played when someone scores a goal?

    • Because it’s simplicity appeals to the fans. Football is not only solely responsible for illiteracy, but also actively promotes it.
      Sounds like they’re made for each other. Fucking cunts.

  4. I know virtually nothing about them beyond THAT song. And that’s reason enough for them to be cunted in my book. Oh Jeremy Corbyn my ass.

    • Fuck me, that was cheesey. Reminded me of Dire Strait’s ‘Manuel and his Music of the Mountains’ phase.

    • Not as hard as you think, grab the tab go through it once a day, and before you know it you’ll have it.
      If you know the notes you can spare your attention to the stretches and the techniques.

      • Whilst on the subject of eighties guitar heroes jason becker and his album perpetual burn is awesome. I reckon I’ll need the rest of my days to get the hang of the song perpetual burn:
        All the songs on the album are inspiring and challenging to play. Satriani plays at beckers’ not dead yet festival along with the whole world’s awesome guitarists.

        • Perpetual Burn…not as hard as you think, grab the tab..etc😉

          Had a long lay off from trying to play and some tendon damage so looks good physio to try again.
          Warming up with my AC/DC and Thin Lizzy repertoire (shows my level)

          Satriani class starts tomorrow….

          Cheers Cuntflap….

          • Now you are talking Cuntley. Lynott a hero and great loss, AC/DC showed the Yanks how to do it.

            And as you haven’t treated us to any ‘jokes’ I will recycle a Victorian one.

            What do call someone who hangs out with musicians?

            A drummer.

            (Prince Albert, 1843)

          • Kudos to you playing acdc.
            Plenty of learning there getting back in black and riff raff rhythm sections bang on, as an example.
            Cheers Cuntley, keep on playing!

  5. Smeg White – what a completely shite drummer. Not really in the league of John Bonham, Moon the Loon or the mighty Paul Thompson of Roxy Music.

    Wiki states her drumming style has been described as “primal” for its simplicity. Fuck me, my 4 year old son can produce a more sophisticated rhythm on his Chad Valley set than her. Thump thump thump thump, fucking thump etc. Reminiscent of a frankfurter being repeatedly slapped against the side of a children’s plastic bucket.

    What a pile of cock.

    • John Henry Bonham, drummer par excellence and in a class of his own, dIed aged 32.
      What a waste.
      White Stripes ? Cunts.
      Good afternoon.

    • I concur Paul. Being a drummer myself, I can confirm that she can’t play for fucking toffee. You can’t talk about top notch drummers without mentioning Mr Collins. In his heyday he was untouchable. Genesis & Brand X

  6. White Stripes?
    Gave ’em the benefit of the doubt. Downloaded off favourite pirate site, added to iTunes, listened once on iPod, deleted the fuckers.

    Load of crap. More talent on my first album – and that really was crap. So bad it’s not even on my website.

    • Those utter cunts at the NME (glad its dead) once put Mong White ahead of Stewart Copeland (Police), Charlie Watts (Stones), Reni (Stone Roses), Kenney Jones (Small Faces/Faces), and (don’t laugh) Mitch Mitchell (Hendrix) in a drummers poll… Any rag that puts an inbred mute who drums very badly with one arm above any of those men deserves to perish, horribly…..

        • When Cassius Clay said about Ringo Starr ‘My dog plays better drums!’ Jack Shite could have said ‘Well, I’ve got a dog, but she’s shit on the drums!’

  7. The cunt that drove into cyclists and a security barrier has apparently been a ‘British ‘ citizen for six weeks.
    How culturally enriching.
    Pull up the fucking drawbridge.

    • It’s ok. We get to experience the delightful cuisine and culinary skills he brought over with him, to compliment the thousands of others here with exactly the same.

      Culturally enriched. Bon appetité.

    • Not to worry, there are plenty of hard working, tax paying immigrants with the vital skills we need who might be persuaded to come here.

        • They usually head for France first but our European friends like to help us out by sending as many as they can over here. Entente Cordiale I think they call it.

  8. Heard somewhere that there was a Mong White sextape online somewhere… Heaven fucking forbid…..

  9. I’ll say one thing in Jack White’s favour… He’s a very brave lad if he ever tubbed or went down on that thing on the drums… Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo!

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