Madonna [6]

On the day following the death of the great Aretha Franklin, we are consoled by the major news outlets that another female ‘legend’ of music is alive and well, celebrating her 60th birthday.

That would be Madonna, the greatest one-trick pony of them all.

An individual of minimal talent, this cunt has carved out a nice little earner by being ‘provocative’ and being a perfect template for the modern hopefuls by selling her music almost exclusively through the medium of sex for the last four decades.

Her various re-inventions have simply been periodic swings to and from being a slutty exhibitionist when record sales start to dip or rise accordingly. Lauded as a ‘feminine icon’, I think it is fair to say that the dumb cunt has neither the cunning nor the wherewithal to comprehend representing anyone except herself.

Many people, myself included, have been screaming at old Madge to ‘put them away for the lads’ since the 90s. Continuing her various cunt stunts which are so predictable now, like snogging someone a quart of her age in some grizzly stage show, just show what little this cunt has to fall back on. Even in her 80s heyday that really is all she had to offer. But now, as a fucking pensioner, it is beyond nightmarish and it is almost as if those who know her are too afraid to tell her what a foul cunt she now resembles, all semi-naked hanging flesh with the odd fading navvy tattoo.

The greatest displays of Madge’s cuntitide however have been exhibited away from the mic. The whole black ‘n’ white minstrel adoption saga was a tour-de-force in vapid celebrity parenting; more recently she made a declaration to ‘blow up the whitehouse’ at an anti-Trump event, rapidly backtracking that it was taken out of context once it was pointed out she was on the cusp of comitting a criminal offence with such a declaration. And then we have her various public cuntshows involving her subhuman-looking oldest son and Guy ‘just as talentless Mockney cunt’ Ritchie.

I hate this cunt vehemently and the only indiscretion I’ll ‘fess up to was having a bit of a Tommy Tank over her role in Body of Evidence (1993) one dimly-lit evening during puberty. It was a low ebb, and I was going through a dark time. Otherwise, this repulsive fucking cunt has served to keep me abstinent from sins of the knuckle-shuffle variety throughout adulthood.

Madonna – Mother Cunt.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

47 thoughts on “Madonna [6]

  1. Never rated this fucker. I remember many years ago she appeared on something or other (Tony Wilson, So it goes? Whatever) First time I had seen her and she was doing ‘Holiday’. I honestly thought it was a song for Europe. Bland tripe.
    Never got any better. Just hype piled on hype. The template of today’s music I suppose.

    • Madogga actually did a gig at the Hacienda around 82/83 (So It Goes was a bit before her time, ancient as she is)… At the night’s end Madogga obnoxiously asked Tony Wilson ‘Where’s my fucking money?’ Tony – legend has it – replied, ‘You’ll get your fucking money when you’ve fucking earned it! Now get out there and clean some of that mess up!’ Wilson had the arrogant slag collecting glasses and taking them back to the bar… Great stuff and God bless Tony…

  2. I also cranked one off to Madge whilst watching Body of Evidence in my adolescent years (also in the 90’s).

    Obviously that was before the Internet was really a thing so we can be forgiven our transgressions.

  3. Off topic but I’m in the gym and I’ve just seen some daft bint wearing Harry Potter trousers. No, really. I mean, as I’ve mentioned here before I have a healthy appreciation for the series given I grew up with it but that kind of thing just screams ‘I’m a cunt’.

  4. It just shows how far you can go on a peppercorn of talent. The only commendable aspect of her is her survival. She’s engineered it though a mixture of changing her looks, paying for the latest producer, using temerity to shock (Pointy bra? Psh!), and sleeping with the powerful. The music, however, has always been dire.

    “Put them away for the lads” – Agreed, Empire. She hasn’t looked decent since 1990 and lately this graceless whore has resembled the ugliest granny in a village-hall, pantomime dance troupe.

  5. “Madonna is an old, anorexic whore who wore out her welcome years ago and that now she suddenly speaks with an Brittish accent and she thinks she can play guitar and she should go fuck herself.” – Kenny McCormick

  6. I sported a ‘Madonna True Blue’ t-shirt in the late 1980s… worn ironically of course… honest… was in my thirties ffs!!

    It’s a bit faded now. Same with the Kim Wilde one.

      • KIim Wilde was miles fitter than Madogga… Same goes for Belinda Carlisle (superb tits), Sheila E, and Susanna Hoffs (Bangles)… Joke is Madogga wasn’t even the best looking one around in the 80s, far from it… She just whored herself more and she’s done it ever since…

    • I had a wank about Kim Wilde on more than one Occasion and that was in my 50’s. Saw some photos of her in some celeb magazine , i instantly thought.. “Thats done it ” I understand that these days she’s become a woman of the soil doing gardening TV. What a let down.

    • Fucking hell Thomas, you nearly put me off my beef roastie. B’jesus she gross, always thought she was a minger and that pic proves me right. Give it up gran ffs and remember to take your (gold) teeth out at night. She’s a cunt.

  7. Branding herself as Christ’s mother was all she needed to do to lose my interest. Which nothing she has done subsequently has reawakened. Obvious soft-porn slapper from Day One.

  8. First saw Madge wiggling her bits on The Tube back in the mid 80s I think. She was doing “Holiday” or “Like a Virgin”- couldn’t sing for shit, couldn’t dance either; but she was different from the usual 80s New Romantics shite back in the day.

    She had a couple of good songs throughout her career, but was definitely an attention-seeking hag who had to reinvent herself every 6 or 7 years in the face of new/younger/edgier competition.

    On the subject of ex hubby, Ritchie, here’s a vid that he directed of his wife taking the piss (literally) out of herself over a decade or so ago.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3R9IpAQ6xo

  9. As Madonna hits sixty, teenage girls around the world ask…

    “What the fuck is a Madonna”….

  10. Despite the paucity of talent, the vulgar urge to display herself, and her cheap crappy *music* she will be remembered throughout the land at breakfast time, when the Pop Tarts are wheeled out and everyone remembers where they got their name from. She always was an ugly cunt, now she is an old ugly cunt. Richard Branson wears her minge round his chin as a tribute.

  11. A leading light in the #me too movement, as in ‘I too have sucked and fucked my way to fame and fortune’. At least the sinewy old slag hasn’t made a secret of it, unlike all the others who seem to have found virtue after the fact. In fact, her whole popularity in the eighties was solely down to the fact that she was quite happy to flash a bit of tit, or her lively bush. Thankfully, she seems to have given up music, and now spends her time and money on collecting those Robinson’s jam mascots that seem to be frowned upon……

  12. What a slaaaag, almost 60 and gyrating abaaaaaht on stage like she’s 21. No singing voice either…its shows that even back then shock value and controversy can advance a career.
    On another note I was enjoying my Sunday morning, cooking up a bit of dinner sit down to read the paper and there is a massive pic on the front of the paper of the first Tranny referee…
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6075393/Footballs-transgender-referee-charge-game-today.html
    I don’t know if ‘Lucy’ will be refereeing men’s or women’s game… I don’t know what will be worse, Lucy could end up punching a male player if he gives Lucy too much lip or Lucy could end up inappropriately rubbing up on a female player in the heat of the game.
    What a pile of cunt this country is becoming.

    • Nick looks like a down-market “Lord” Alan Shit, and Lucy is, oh fuck, it’s armageddon (armageddon out of here…).

      Thankfully, I can very easily blot out this abominable image with the delightful Lucy Lane, helping to keep Cornwall’s coastline eggand free.

  13. Seemingly like in most walks of life, cunts have a knack of rising to the top of their field. Most business leaders are cunts, most (if not all) politicians are cunts, most actors are cunts, most sports people are cunts, and it is no different in the music industry. The more successful, the bigger the cunt.

    Most highly successful people are utter big headed hypocritical and patronising cunts.

    The question must be whether they were always a cunt, or whether fame and success has turned them into cunts.

  14. Slag……but then again if I hadn’t bumped into some slags I wouldn’t have got my leg over.
    Have had a lazy day so I watched Guitar Heroes of the 60’s and 70’s on tv, some like Robin Trower and Link Wray I had never heard of, music now seems to have gone right down the pan and beyond in my opinion.

  15. Bless you, Empire. This cunting qualifies as a miracle on the way to sainthood.
    Even I, a devout faggot, haaaaaaaaaate this goomba cunt. I was delighted to see her cunting off to Britain back in the 90s, but deep inside I knew the jenny’d be back unless claimed by a terror attack or act of god. As god, too, is a cunt, here we are again, this time with 110% more cuntitude (her fucking spawn).

  16. Mrs. Sparkletone is a bit of fan of the Madminga, and I thought Ray Of Light was half decent so we toddled off to Hyde Park a few years back in mild anticipation of some form of entertainment. What immediately struck me was that I was in the 1% of non-sausage jockey male attendees.

    The stage show itself was mediocre, she was utter shite and just embarrassed herself but an extra cunting for the field full of fairies who sang along and pranced around like a mass game ‘chase me, chase me’. It’s not just Vadge who’s a cunt it’s the cunting fans of hers too.

    • The fans are Cunts by default. Even my missus can’t be arsed with her anymore.

  17. Agree. Have also watched the BBC live acts of the 60’s and early 70’s.

    Really miss programmes like the Old Grey Whistle Test and music of that era and before

    Quite simply I prefer music where there is a group, where most of the band can play the instrument (to play them well is a definite advantage), and where there is some talent or ability. Call me old fashioned but ideally there should be some sort of memorable (whichever word I use now will make me sound old, which I am) tune or melody.

    Hated the formulated boy bands (such as Take That or Boyzone or Westlife) which were churned en masse.

    Cannot get into the music produced nowadays, where the vast majority of talent seems to be in the sound studios, and not with the artist. Even then it sounds like shit. Very occasionally I hear something decent but it is a rare thing.

    Used to watch bands live including The Who, Genesis, Elton John, Alice Cooper, Supertramp in the mid 1970’s plus many other great bands and they could all produce fantastic music whilst playing their instruments and using their voices. And the most I can ever remember paying for a ticket was £4. A call to the box office, send off a cheque and the tickets were either posted to you, or you collected them at the venue on arrival.

    We have to face it, decent music has gone forever. I don’t think it is a rose coloured glasses thing, music was just so much better then.

    • @willie I saw an oldish gentleman at a concert recently who was wearing a t-shirt that read “I might be old but at least I got to see the best bands” how true.

    • I paid £1.00 to see Alice Cooper (supported by Roxy Music) at Wembley in 1972. Sold the flimsy paper programme for a fiver to some cunt about 30 years ago, it would now be worth over a ton.

      Still got the ticket though in my Ruff Tuff scrap book.

      Also bought tickets to see Zappa /Mothers the night he was banned from playing the Albert Hall. Stood outside said venue in the freezing cold with confused fans, chatting to Ian Underwood (alto saxophone & piano) and other members of the group… worth every fucking penny!

      • Paid three quid to see The Jam in 1980, two quid to see The Specials and UB40, (both 1980 too), £2.50 to see Joy Division and ACR in 79 (Curtis was immense), a fiver to see Dire Straits on their Alchemy Tour, and four quid to see The Stone Roses at the Hacienda in 89…. Now cunts pay well over a oner to see talent-free twats like Titless Swift, Kunty Perry, and Justin Timbercunt… World’s gone fucking mad….

    • We have to accept Willie that the period you were referring to was a renaissance period in music never to be repeated, well not in our time anyway.

  18. That song ‘Papa Don’t Preach’ sums up the fakery and downright nastiness of Old Sladge…. The lyrics ‘I’m keeping my baby’ from a morally bankrupt woman who has had numerous terminations all in the name of ambition and her ‘career’… Maybe buying brown babbies from Malawi (or wherever it is) and parading them in the glossies like pets is her way of trying to ease her rotten conscience about offing so many innocent and unborn sprogs just for fame and fortune?… Then again it could be just her way of getting more attention and shameless publicity…. Yeah, think I’ll go with the second one… She is a fucking copper bottomed cunt…

  19. And, as she becomes obsolete and her looks (not that she ever had any) fade, Madogga has attempted to cash in on the Me Too bandwagon and cracks on now she is a feminist…
    A feminist who has consistently sold sex, simulated rape (that crappy Sex book), slept with and used every bloke (and I dare say a few women) in the business until they’ve outlived their usefulness, never spoken about womens issues (until now), and shamelessly works with known woman beater and convicted rapist, Mike Tyson… But did the pink pussy hatted bitches on that ludicrous wimmins march swallow her bullshit? Of course they fucking did…In that moment their whole ‘movement’ became a laughing stock… Someone who collaborates with a rapist and who has acted out rape games for publicity and kicks a feminist? Do fuck off!

    Me Too? Up yours!

  20. First let me start with the age old gag:

    Q. What is the difference between Madonna and the Eiffel tower?

    A. Not everyone has been up the Eiffel tower.

    A sad, irrelevant old skank who has long outstayed her welcome. Musically plagiarising anything that happens to be selling to the young crowd at the time and making it a sanitised, over-produced mainstream version to the point it becomes a parody when some tired old sag-tit witch tries to own that particular genre and fails miserably.

    The only reason it purchased a couple of niglets from Chimpywogwogland is so that when the rest of humanity would rather choke on it’s own vomit than be seen hanging out the back of Madonna, it still has something willing to give it a back scuttle. They really aren’t that choosy, those blambos. 🤮

    I think I still have a copy of Mayfair somewhere that has a young Madonna Louise Ciccone with her quite perky (at that point) tits out and a fucking massive bush reminiscent of Hagrid’s beard.

    Made a fortune out of that mag at private school, charging the 4th formers £2 per photocopied set. Kept me in beer and snouts for months that rancid slapper did.

    The only entities interrested in anything the gap toothed blambo bellend cheesegrater has to offer these days are, as the esteemed mr Sparkletone points out. Those who are light in the loafers (sorry Krav), or morbidly obese office bikes who like to screech ‘like a virgin’ somewhat ironically at the works karaoke piss up, before being injected with a drunken portion of baby gravy by the paralytically intoxicated office junior.

    Neither are audiences to aspire to pleasing.

    Madonna needs to grow the fuck up, stop being a megalomaniac shitcunt whore who preys on young backing dancers and generally fuck off and die in an old folk’s home, reeking of stale piss and biscuits.

    She is already pretty much there. Minus the old folk’s home.

    The monthly delivery of depend’s undergarments is allegedly what keeps Amazon in business.

    Now fuck off you pointless old harridan. You’re scaring the dogs with that face!

  21. And the old slagbag can’t act for toffee… Desperately Seeking Susan had one good thing in it: the extremely doable Rosanna Arquette…. In Body Of Evidence Sladge looked like a rubber chicken from a joke shop, and in Evita she was Madogga dressed up as Evita and acted nothing like the real one (as well as playing up to the ludicrous Che Guevara as hero and philosopher bullshit)…. And the fly on top the dog turd? Her execrable and reeking appearance in Die Another Day… It should have been called The Day The Bond Franchise Died…

  22. “Body of Evidence” – or the poor man’s”Basic Instinct” as it was known.

    Took me ages to forgive Willem Dafoe for that one!

  23. Fuck off you talentless hag, and while you’re about it, take that shrieking harpie Yoko Ono with you. What a pair of shitebags.

  24. The slag said ( check the quote ) on Graeme Norton show that she has sex some of her cast to get what they are thinking about out of the way. Well that’s generous if your fucking blind.

  25. Might have fucking well known… Anyone else see Madogga’s ‘tribute’ to Aretha Franklin?
    Funny how the old slag never mentioned Aretha when she was alive, eh?…. The stinking certifiable old snatch went on about how Aretha ’empowered’ us all… Only thing is, Franklin had a lot of guts and talent, and she wasn’t what amounts to a (very bad) prossie with a record contract, unlike Madogga…. What a monumental cunt the old witch is….

Comments are closed.