The Beach Boys

The Beach Boys are cunts…

Well, not all of them… Carl and Dennis Wilson (RIP) obviously can’t be blamed for the latest steaming turd dropped onto the legacy, and I dare say Al Jardine has little to no say whatsoever about these things… But whoever gave the go ahead for that Beach Boys with the Philharmonic Orchestra album wants shooting… I dare say it was that ubercunt Mike Love’s doing, but Brian Wilson should have refused to give any sort of permission to release this shite…

I heard the ‘new orchestral version’ of ‘Good Vibrations’ on the radio, and it is the biggest pile of cheesy, over the top, shit with sugar on wank I have have heard in a long time… All the mystique and allure of the original well and truly shat on….

I am more or less certain this is Love’s doing, because who else would include an ‘orchestral’ version of the curling turd that is ‘Kokomo’ on a Beach Boys compilation of any kind?…. Do Brian’s original works need any sort of tinkering or embellishments? Do they fuck! So, whoever is responsible for this is a cunt of the highest order…

Nominated by Norman

50 thoughts on “The Beach Boys

  1. It is well documented that Mike Love whilst being the dominant, overbearing force of the Beach Boys had the least talent. He was a prop for Brian Wilson but couldn’t sing to save his bald-pate disguising collection of silly hats.

    Like you, Norman, I suspect the cunt Love is behind this shit. It seems Brian went along with it, but Brian was always the easily-led troubled talent of the band.

    Love tried to stop Brian changing musical direction in the mid sixties. He instead wanted Brian to stick to writing songs about cars, girls and surfin’. Had Brian taken need there would have been no Pet Sounds.

    Mike Love is a filthy-bearded sly little baldy old cunt.

  2. Never had much love for the Beach Boys. Perhaps they needed some extra pension money and “agreed” to fall in with this shit arrangement.

    Desperate Vibrations, one suspects.

    • Never really liked TBBs either. All that high pitched ‘good times’ crooning. Bit too happy and up beat for me. So meh, not my cup of tea.

      In other somewhat related news, A Flock of Seagulls have just released a new album of their most popular ditties accompanied by the Prague Philharmonic Orchestra. Haven’t heard it yet, but I’m hoping it’ll be great.

  3. I was about to type pretty much what Paul said. I’ve read a few books on the band and if anyone is likely responsible for this abomination its Mike Love. Brian Wilson these days looks and talks like the archetypal acid-fried zombie who was probably last compus mentis in 1968.

    It’s well documented how Mike Love was driven by commercial success and money, even when Brian was being trussed up by fraudulent psychologists and health gurus.

    Still, it is a fair cunting because this liberty is a steaming shit on their legacy. What fucking silly bastards.

  4. The Beach Boys have had nothing significant to say musically since the early 1970s.

    Irrelevant has beens. Follow the money.

  5. They’ve never floated my boat,not my thing though I understand they have a huge fan base,same with The Beatles,just don’t get the hype but each to their own.

  6. There’s always one… in every band. Unfortunately for the beach boys, theirs is still alive.

  7. Brian fried his brains 50 years ago. Doubt he has much input. Havent heard this orchestral version and don’t want to. Will stick with Pet Sounds.

    • Saw a review for his (relatively) recent performances and they made for sad reading.

  8. Does Brian still butter his head?

    Funnily enough I was listening to Pet Sounds in my car just the other day, Sloop John B is still my favourite Beach Boys track.

  9. RTC’s top 5 Beach Boys tracks (chronologically)

    I Get Around (1964)
    Heroes And Villains (1967)
    Wild Honey (1967)
    Do It Again (1968)
    Sail On Sailor (1973)

    Bonus cut: Marcella (1972)

    • You don’t have the 1979 disco mix of Here Comes the Night on your list, RTC?

    • What did you think of Wilson’s solo album of ‘Smile’ finally released in 2004 or so? I thought it was pretty good although it was hard to justify the 30 years of hype as a ‘lost’ album, and it undoubtedly lost a great deal from being released so long after Brian’s creative heyday.

      Not keen on his version of Good Vibrations, but Surf’s Up is pretty good. Contains the infamous lyrics that utterly boiled Mike Love’s piss when he first saw Wilson’s proposals for Smile back in the 60s – ‘columnated ruins domino‘.

      Let’s not forget that Al Jardine was quite a cunt, siding with whoever was the most dominant in the band when it suited him.

      • I thought he 2004 Smile was ok… very good in fact for a re-recording of something originally recorded and shelved 37 years earlier for a multitude of bizarre reasons, not least Mike Love’s money grubbing priorities…

        For me the 2004 version is not a patch on the original 1967 recordings, which have been available on bootleg in varying quality for decades now.

        It would be like the Beatles re-recording Sgt. Pepper 37 years after the event – interesting but not essential.

      • Carl was the most talented musician, and his ‘Feel Flows’ is my favourite Beach Boys song… Dennis was underrated too and undermined by Love (who Dennis rightly despised)… Dennis’s solo album ‘Pacific Ocean Blue’ is the great Beach Boys album that never was…. Will always have a soft spot for Dennis, but he could be a daft cunt: especially with hanging about with that cunt, Charlie Manson…

        • Legend has it that Manson made some of threat against Dennis’s family whereupon Dennis gave him a right old pasting. Charlie didn’t ask for a rematch…

          • Manson was pissed off cos Wilson failed to credit him on a song he wrote for the Beach Boys, originally titled ‘Cease To Exist’, but subsequently changed to ‘Never Learn Not To Love’. Also, in an attempt to better accommodate the group’s vocal harmonies, Wilson reworked the song’s bluesy structure and added another bridge. In addition the lyrics were partially altered (the opening lyric “Cease to exist” modified to “Cease to resist”), and as mentioned the title changed to ‘Never Learn Not to Love’, much to Manson’s indignation.

            Never Learn Not to Love” was released as the B side to ‘Bluebirds Over The Mountain’ and was later featured on the Beach Boys’ 20/20 album.

            When Manson discovered he was uncredited on the single, he was furious and threatened Dennis Wilson with murder. Beach Boys collaborator Van Dyke Parks recalled: “One day, Charles Manson brought a bullet out and showed it to Dennis, who asked, ‘What’s this?’ And Manson replied, ‘It’s a bullet. Every time you look at it, I want you to think how nice it is your kids are safe.'”

            Wilson confronted Manson about the incident, realizing Manson’s growing erratic behavior, and ended their friendship soon after.

            In 1971, when asked why he did not credit Manson, Wilson answered: “He didn’t want that. He wanted money instead. I gave him about a hundred thousand dollars’ worth of stuff.”


      • Where is it? Presumably heading your top 5 list Cuntstable.

        Agree it’s a great song though.

  10. I also heard some of this on the radio t’other day. Utter cack. Pet Sounds is a classic album so leave it the fuck alone. Went to see Brian Wilson live quite a few years back…my god that man is fried. Such a shame. He started talking (ineligible rambling) to the audience and after 10 minuets a crew member had to come on to remind him it was a gig and to play the next song. Was like watching Syd Barrett try to perform. RIP Syd. Going by that performance back then, I don’t think Brian Wilson is stable enough to make any decisions about what’s done with their music – imo anyway.

    • It reminds me Cuntbubble when i saw Peter Green in the Splinter Group some years ago. Fuck me it was depressing, I remembered Peter Green as a good looking young bloke and a great blues guitarist, so on walked this wreck of a man who looked like he had been sleeping rough and could barely play his giutar and not string a sentence together. I should never have gone, i should have stuck with the memories of one of my rock heroes.Thats how i will remember him now, a drug addled zombie that looked like he had been dead for a month.

      • 100% agree Fenton, sometimes the memories of these people are just better than the hard unforgiving reality. Of course we all get older but seeing these guys wobble on stage and dribble into a microphone isn’t the image you want to remember them by. Bet his backing band were pretty shit hot though? BW’s were, thank god.

  11. The Beach Boys…I know naffink abaaaaaht them. Although I’ve heard a bit of their work. My point is that it’s a shame (this applies mostly to successful musicians/bands) when their time has passed and they insist on chasing the money and allowing original material to be remixed etc thus destroying the credibility and legacy of the original. Its usually down to a member or two who need the money and greedy record labels. What a pile of cunt. What’s next the Beach Boys grime remix featuring Stormzy cunt. Fuck off.

  12. Just searched the site for ‘golf’, interesting picture choice for the first iteration on that cunting haha.

  13. Maskinback’s Top 5 Choice:

    God Only Knows (1966)
    Heroes and Villains (1967)
    In My Room (1964)
    I know There’s an Answer (1966)
    Sail on Sailor (1973)

  14. Norman’s Top 5 BB tracks:

    Feel Flows (1971)
    The Warmth Of The Sun (1964)
    Heroes and Villains (1967)
    Till I Die (1971)
    I Just Wasn’t Made for These Times (1966)

  15. And who the fuck are those cunts in that photo? I don’t see Brian, Al, or even David Marks… Of course! It’s Cunt Love, his bitch, Bruce Johnston, and a load of creme brulee muso wankers… Dennis and Carl (bless ’em) are well out of it….

  16. And the cover to this ‘Philharmonic Orchestra’ abomination….
    Whoever did that ‘illustration’ of Brian should be tarred and feathered… It’s absolutely horrible…

  17. I liked the Beach Boys early 60’s music especially God only Knows . I heard Good Vibrations was the most expensive single ever made because of Brian Wilson’s obsession with perfection, $60,000 in 1966 was a lot of money, correct me if i’m wrong about that. After that i thought the only decent music they turned out was Surf’s Up & Holland. From then on it was sugar coated goo shite with Mike Love’s stamp all over it.

  18. Yes Skin Cancer has evaded them which is remarkable considering their always on the beach.

  19. I don’t feel any “Good Vibrations” about this latest pile of shite from the Beach Boys

  20. Well I’ve not heard it either and I don’t want to hear it. I’ll bet my house that it’s a gargatuan cumbucket of old toss.

    Beach Boys singles were made to be heard on jukeboxes; I have an antique vinyl one and I can confirm that songs like Barbara Ann and Help Me Rhonda sound brilliant on them, even though they might have to odd tick or scratch here and there. The same applies to songs like Elvis’ It’s Now Or Never and Heartbreak Hotel or Orbison’s Pretty Woman and Dream Baby. If I rermember correctly, the latter have also been subject to this fad of orchestral revisionism.

    Deplorable wank and a top class cunting.

  21. California Girls is great, just for the intro alone… But David Lee Roth’s version had a better video…

  22. Tangent Alert:
    If I see one more fucking news expose about that fucking bunch of red Scouse cunts buying a new goalkeeper with a girl’s name, I will fucking lose it. The media bias in favour of those bastards is INSANE!!! Why don’t the press ever mention their peaceful striker looks like a terrorist? Or the other striker looks like he gargles bleach 100 times a day (‘cos his teeth are so stupidly white they’d blind you if you looked at them directly). Cunts!

    Sorry about that. We now return you to our regular programme.

      • Guilty as charged. I hate the red scousers. Why? Many reasons really, but the main one being some of their ‘fans’ murdered 39 opposition fans at the Heysel Stadium in 1985.

        Apart from the tragic and senseless waste of life that night, the other net effect was to get all English clubs banned from European competition for the next 5 years. As a result my team, Spurs, lost out on European qualification 3 times in that 5 years. All thanks to the fucking scousers.

        Add to that the constant harping on about the Hillsborough tragedy and how many completely ‘innocent’ scouse fans were killed as a result of police negligence/poor stewarding/wind blowing in the wrong direction/etc. Yeah, we get it. It was awful. People died. But nobody WANTED that to happen. It wasn’t deliberate. On the other hand, rampaging scouse cunt fans attacking and murdering opposition fans WAS deliberate and premeditated. But let’s not dwell on that though eh? The scousers weren’t victims that night so it doesn’t count apparently.

    • Probably got this Allison because the Evertonians have the hero Pickford (and because Karius is a pile of wank)… I reckon the bloke will either do well or be the biggest flop since Robbie Maddix*

      * The inept cunt who replaced the great Reni in The Stone Roses…

      • But Norm, they have Mignolet as their #1. Why look else where? Oh wait, he’s crap as well.

        While we’re on the subject of crap keepers, can I call out fucking Lloris. There seems to be this myth that Lloris is one of the best keepers in the EPL. Bollocks is he. Ball at his feet skills are suspect (see World Cup final for evidence) and his distribution is utter cunt. If the object of kicking long were to put the ball out of play or hoof it directly to the opposition or hoof it to a team mate surrounded by opposition so he has no chance to retain possession, then yeah he’d be a great keeper. He seriously needs to fuck off along with that serial loser manager of ours. And Levy too – goes without saying. Cunts.

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