Richard Ayoade

I must CUNT, most severely (possibly not for the first time):

The shit-brown man in the shit-brown suit

From the current HSBC ad. They are all grim viewing (Bank of Mum & Dad, bank of Mum & Mum, bank of Dad & Dad, bank of grandfather & goat, and often with an anti-Brexit, global village pervery about them), but the current one is just nauseating.

He looks like a horrible caricature, brought to life. Am surprised we don’t see him riding a camel.

Nominated by HBelindaHubbard

I cunted that HSBC advert with him, the one that desperately tried to cram in global gadgets and had the tagline “We’re all in this together.” It was blatantly anti-Brexit and slurped at the shitty teet of the odious EU, but now can’t find it (!?).

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

78 thoughts on “Richard Ayoade

  1. I fucking hate this cunt and his smug nasal whine. He is on TV all the time over here, though I suspect it’s in revenge for sending that unfunny cunt Adam Hills over to England and we still have to endure his bland shit as well. I dread what we’ll get in return when that mincing fat git Tom Ballard moves to England.

    • We’ll trade you a Jack Whitehall, you lucky people, Chris Lilley in Summer Heights High was great though.

      • Tbf LL Whitehall was good in Bad Education. Travels With My Father was funny as well – although a lot of that was admittedly because of the aforementioned father.

    • Ugh don’t mention that smug cunt Adam Hills. He gives even James O’Shithead a run for his money in that department. Used to like his little show on Channel 4 when I didn’t know any better but I eventually stopped watching last February when I finally had enough of their preachy agenda.

      • James O’Shithead is currently telling me what a cunt Chris Grayling is.

        For once he’s 150% right!

        That’s not saying much though – even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

  2. Haven’t seen the ads so will have to take your word for it but I did like this bloke in the IT Crowd, although Matt Berry was the best part of that show. Talking of Matt Berry, whatever BBC bastard cancelled Vic and Bob’s House of Fools is a complete cunt.

    Friday afternoon, time to start drinking

    • Go the Knights, Fuck the Cowboys! Let’s see our fellow cunters work that one out CMC.

    • IT Crowd kicked ass! Katherine Parkinson highly fuckable. Pity Ayoade wasn’t run over or something after the series ended.

      • Yes, with the exception of the “Crowd” Ayoade is a complete and utter useless, overrated cunt on a stick. He has all the charisma of a sanitary towel shoved up a dead cow’s arse at gas mark 5.

        And talking of arses – I wouldn’t mind taking Katherine Parkinson up the arse! Totally fuckable on the “Crowd” – but of course I am no longer allowed to “sexualise” wimmin because it’s so fucking offensive these days!

        • She occasionally appears in adverts… doesn’t half give me the horn!

          Agree – up the arse would be a no brainer.

    • The BBC has absolutely no sense of humour anymore. They flat out said that these days they wouldn’t even commission Monty Python because it’s too white… Words fail me. All that matters to them is ramming “diversity” down our throats and expecting us to find their current batch of comedians saying “fuck Brexit, fuck Trump, fuck white men” over and over and over again funny. The morons are running their company into the ground and hemorrhaging viewers but they’ll just blame it on the racists.

      • Greg Dyke (BBC Director-General) stated in January 2001:

        “I think the BBC is hideously white. I think the BBC is a predominantly white organisation. The figures we have at the moment suggest that quite a lot of people from different ethnic backgrounds that we do attract to the BBC leave. Maybe they don’t feel at home, maybe they don’t feel welcome.”

        A spokesman for the Commission for Racial Equality welcomed Mr Dyke’s remarks saying: “I think the key is getting the senior management to reflect the society we live in… and that’s a real challenge because once that situation is sorted then that will obviously have a beneficial knock-on effect on the rest of the corporation.”

        So there you have it. Positive discrimination (aka institutionalised anti white racism) on an industrial scale for the last 17 years at least. Did the Blair Government pull up Dyke for his racist remarks? Did they fuck.

        • He used to be in charge of the FA as well. Same man who was responsible for the double barrelled disasters of Capellocunt and Woy Wodgson.

          • Dyke’s an absolute cunt. Has he been cunted lately, or adequately? I regret my decision not to have a box in the house means that I am not the cunt to administer such a cunting, and must therefore leave it to someone who is.

        • Why do they always seem to forget that today the UK is about 85% white, and even more so in 2001. Of course our institutions are going to be predominantly white. But they treat this as some great racist disaster that needs fixing by vastly over representing our non-white minorities. The media in places like Kenya don’t go out of their way to provide extra opportunities to their white minority, why should we be any different?

          And let’s not forget the BBC’s attempts to blackwash history. There was that Doctor Who episode set in Victorian London and it was packed full of black people, when questioned on it the Doctor says that white people just lie about history and apparently Britain has always been full of africunts. Even worse was the recent “Story of Britain” animated history series for kids where half of all the characters in it are black, even the fucking Celts. They are actively trying to destroy our history and our culture so that we lose that sense of who we are as a people and happily welcome the waves of raping Muslim gangs with open arms.

  3. Looks like an ideal candidate for kicking the shit out of for fun.
    Yes, yes, I know some snowflakes call it bullying blah blah blah…
    ….losers are always moaning on and on about it.
    Cunt and cunts.

  4. I thought he was brilliant as the pathetic little nerd in the “IT Crowd” but have since discovered that he was just playing himself, the creepy little cunt.
    Fucking fed up with these middle class “comedians” with their constant pro-EU, anti-Trump repetitive fucking bullshit.
    I accidentally tuned in to some channel 4 shit called “The Last Leg” the other day. There was that short-armed cunt, that curly headed cunt and some Aussie fuckwit cunt who needs to mind his own business and fuck off back to his own country.
    First thing was these wankers scrambling around in a tin hut which we’ll all be living in after Brexit. (Cue raucous laughter from the posh right-on audience) Then they retired to the sofa where guest of honour the dirty Soubry traitor was waiting wearing a leopard skin jumpsuit. Fuck me, talk about mutton dressed as sheep shit!
    Off we go with the Trump is a cunt gags. At this point, being a bit pissed , I switched off before I put my foot through the screen.
    Fuck this stupid looking shithead wanker and all these so called comedians. They are just propagandists and fucking dangerous ones at that. There’s nothing funny about trying to fuck democracy.

  5. Just another mud coloured cunt in a sea of mud coloured cunts who seem to appeal to the right on meedja and advert makers to stay on the side of the appeasers who will one day in the not too distant future reside in a world, largely inhabited by mud coloured cunts. To see how your average, easily managed, malleable, lower than average IQ British “man” will look seek out the blambo with the tightly knitted close cropped hair, speech impediment and slightly flared nostrils will look – seek out the new Nationwide advert. “Evewyday peepwe, doing evewyday fings fow evewyday peepwe”

    • If they were going to use a part macaroon for the advert, they could at least found one that didn’t struggle with his pronunciation of the English language.

      This advert serves no clear purpose as far as I am concerned. However, I am sure the late Mr Kalergi would have fully endorsed it.

      • And without mentioning the dear mans name. That is / was the point of my post entirely Paul. Ably abetted and funded by the old cunt Soros. When I think of all the positive benefits that forced multiculturalism has brought on our lands I think things like TB – almost 100% eradicated in the UK.
        FGM – almost totally unheard of outside mud huts in Sub Saharan Africa
        Knife and gun culture that has seen our Major cities turned into ghettos.
        A culture that has had our own white culture trashed – our identity and our country demonised to the point we have to be careful to who and where we mention our pride in our England.
        On the other side of the coin lets celebrate the positives of mass forced multiculturalism.
        Err – I am struggling.

  6. So Barnier has glanced at The Hunchback’s glorious Chequers Plan, wiped his arse with it and told her to fuck off.
    Well there’s a fucking surprise!
    Now who would have predicted that?

    • Indeed Freddie, now you will see the detritus of the political, business and sleb worlds pushing hard for that 2nd referendum.


        • Trump ‘got’ his trade deal yesterday.

          But probably meant ‘didn’t got’.

          Expect he’ll clarify later today.

        • Maybe he’s used the double baseball bat of “Trade Deficit” and “Tariffs on German Cars” which is what we should be doing but – for some mysterious reason – Treason May (now fully in charge of the Brexit talks – oh joy) seems to be reticent in citing our most compelling argument for the EU to “play fair”.

          Fuck 27 other countries, there’s only one state that needs to be “guided” (threatened). Put Frau Merkelcunt’s balls in a vice by telling her we’ll tariff the fuck out of all those German cars our country loves so much and she’ll instruct her EU puppets to do as she says.

          Then the other 26 countries will fold like a tea towel including our short-memoried, cheese-eating, surrender-monkey friends across the channel.

          Merkelcunt is on borrowed time as it is so we should squeeze the fucker now. She’ll do anything to avoid more bad PR.

          Enjoy this one:

          Go on the Poles! How I wish our Govt listened to the public will with such vigor!

          • Treason May is deliberately not “citing our most compelling argument for the EU to ‘play fair'” because the last thing she wants is a proper Brexit or anything approaching being independent of the 4th Reich. Always has been. That’s why the Establishment chose her in the first place.

            All talk, no action. COTY 2018.

    • I was thinking that May’s deal was so shit and effectively keeps us in the EU without having a voice, just like Fuhrer Merkel likes, they might just buy it. But for the EU to turn around and say even that shit isn’t good enough is astonishing. The best thing about this is that it will finally get rid of May when she capitulates even more and triggers a vote of no confidence. Then we can get someone like Jacob Rees Mogg who will tell the EU to fuck off and that they won’t be getting their 40 billion. Oh how I would love to see Junkers face when the pension pot at Brussels suddenly loses a few billion.

  7. This fucking infuriating cunt is just not funny whatsoever.

    The one, solitary remake of a TV show which I was prepared to jettison my principles over was The Crystal Maze. Manys a happy childhood memory do I have of Richard O’Brien going beserk with his harmonica, while some clueless project manager from Aylesbury tried in vain to complete an oversized jigsaw.

    When the remake was announced, the ‘one off’ celebrity show was hosted by arch-bantercunt, Stephen (shit)Merchant. That put me off. But when they gave the new series to nest-haired stratoscunt Ayoade I nearly fucking exploded in rage.

    A cunt to the core, Ayoade represents everything wrong with modern fucking comedy. Piss off you fucking hairy maggot.

  8. Haven’t seen this ad but I’ll take your word for it. We bank with HSBC across two countries. They’re good cunts in New Zealand and have a lot of events with free booze but fuck they suck for branches here (have to drive an hour and I haven’t had an invite to an event let alone a glass of free booze since we got here. The cunts. I might have to fucking look into that. We’re not shy of dosh at this stage of our lives which is fortunate with all the brats to put through college.
    Other half just told me we’re not considered rich cunts in this area which is why we’re not getting the schmooze. So all the evidence points to their operations and their advertising being just a little cunty. Didn’t think Ayoade was all that great in IT crowd. I think I smelt false wannabe bullshit a mile off.
    Hubby built a start-up. One of the guys who is a fuck of a lot more of an example of the real IT crowd had a real sense of humour. All the guys named their computers. This named his computer, “Therapist” A client visits the office and asks “did you name your computer that as you see programming as therapy”? Everyone in the office is pissing themselves laughing as they know exactly why the computer is named Therapist. It’s a two part word.
    Better go have my last taper beers and toddle off to bed.

    • The only drink HSBC would offer me would be sparkling cyanide,

      RE the computer-naming, we had a comedian called Benny Hill, who had a shortarse, bald sidekick-character called :
      “E Y Toad.

      Invariably highlighted as “The Rapist”…

  9. I haven’t seen much of this Ayoade, lemonade, fucking Lucozade cunt on the idiot lantern, as I tend to avoid priggish, smug comedy-wankers of his ilk.

    One thing is notable though and that’s his fucking absurd hairstyle.

    A ‘fro with a parting. Bird’s nest-like as TECB observed above. Ayoade looks like the dictionary definition of a perfect cunt. If it barks and has a tail, etc.

  10. It really is a great time to be a Black and White Cunt if you are in the entertainment industry. Every telly ad,every programme, every film etc. must have the obligatory Darkie or Semi-Darkie. I was going to say that I don’t know where they find them all,but then I happened to glance at the telly where they were doing some segment about school-class sizes….Fuck me, South Africa can forget it’s claim to be the Rainbow nation,they’ve got nothing on schools in this country. More shades of colour than a Dulux paint chart. ( a lot of them were fat too…and the female (?) hijab wearers all seemed to have specs and a ‘tache,no wonder their fathers prefer taxi-driving white youngsters)

    Ayode was good in The I.T Crowd,but I’d watch anything with that Katherine Parkinson in it. I like a bit of ginger, I do. They seem to be pushing Ayode like they’re pushing that Peaceful Baker, Nadia…just keep shoving them in every programme,eventually something might work. The only way for a white person to get a fair crack of the whip on telly these days seems to be to “identify”as a Sexual Deviant or Kalergi Plan supporter….apart from that,obviously a huge mistake on someone’s part, Guy Martin. I have no idea how he’s managed to slip through the net,but I’m sure that he’ll soon be told to denounce his hideous whiteness if he wants to continue on telly.
    Fuck them.

    • Or to have limbs missing or partly missing, Dick.

      Today saw a white female newsreader on BBC with part of her arm missing. Not the sister of the one armed girl who does the BBC kids TV.

      Told our young son (in front of Mrs Stroker) that if he cut either one or both of his arms or legs off he too could get a job at the BBC when he is older.

      My wife looked at me and told me I was sick, and that perhaps I could get a job at the BBC if I were to cut my head off.

      Told her that at 59 still probably too old. No sense of humour some people.

  11. The only thing remotely funny about this middle class right on Cunt is his ridiculous Barnet!!
    That’s it……
    And like previous poster I saw about 30 secs of the last leg !!
    Soon as I saw this twat with his short armed TRex of a man raspberry pal I hit the remote, well done Channel 4 for pairing those two utterly useless cunts together , absolute fucking genius………

  12. Another cunt that appears to have passed me by. I’m seriously out of touch, how worrying.
    Good morning.

  13. This Ayoade cunt looks like Graeme Garden when he blacked up for the Goodies ‘Kung-Fu Capers (King of Ecky Thump)’ episode…

  14. Lance Forman is not a cunt…

    The salmon specialist and restaurateur, said: ‘Just want to let everyone know that after a ‘no deal’ Brexit there will NOT – I repeat NOT – be a shortage of Forman’s smoked salmon…. We’ve were smoking salmon for 70 years before joining the EU and will carry on 70 years after we leave’….

    Stout fellow and a proper Brit… Shame he can’t smoke those Banana Gob and Lineker cunts while he’s at it…

  15. Nothing against Ayoade. Love the IT Crowd and Travel Man is not bad. Good on Big Fat Quiz stuff. Not seen him anywhere else.
    There are bigger cunts to fry.

    • For Momentum read Militant. Anyone who is too young to remember the Militant Tendency and Derek Hatton could spend an informative half hour reading up on the cunts.

    • Truth and Labour are not good bedfellows. Hoey is a committed Leaver representing a Remain London constituency so she is in a difficult position and ripe for Momentum to cull in favour of some swivel eyed loon or other.

  16. Rich divorcee, 66, who lent £500,000 to her Romanian man-with-a-van toyboy lover, 29, ‘so he could buy a flat’ sues him after he blew the lot on online gambling and expensive watches
    Christiane Shellard, 66, is suing Cristian Mihalea, 29, over £500,000 ‘loan’
    She claimed it was to help him turn his life around during their relationship
    Divorcee also gave him a luxury car and £160,000 for his father’s medical bills
    Mihalea admitted to frittering all of it away but claimed it was a gift not a loan

    LOL,LOL etc……serves the stupid bitch right.

    • As they say — you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh your bollock off at this silly cow.

    • You could argue, of course Mr F, that he earned at least part of it. Presumably he had to get his greasy, swarthy schlong up her wrinkled, cobwebby old snatch once or twice before the money was forthcoming.
      Eeuurggh…like a badly-packed kebab and probably smells worse….revolting.

      • Here’s an even more amusing one….fair brightened my day rereading this one….

        Vicar, 79, is left homeless after selling his house to buy his 24-year-old Romanian husband a flat in Bucharest… only for his younger lover to dump him days later
        Rev Philip Clements, 79, married Florin Marin, 24, after meeting on a website
        The pair started married life in Sandwich, Kent before moving to Romania
        Rev Clements sold his home in Kent for £214,750 and bought a flat in Bucharest
        The couple split up after Rev Clements signed the €100k flat over to his husband

        Deviant geriatric god-botherer ripped off……lovely stuff…hopefully the shock’ll speed the old Cunt on his way to meet his god….hope god tells him that he’s an abomination in the eyes of The Lord and kicks his bony,battered ringpiece down to Hell.

        • Ho ho, yes, I remember hearing about that filthy fucker.
          He deserved everything he got. In mitigation, at least he wasn’t trying to bum choirboys though.
          I wonder if all clergy are deviants? I suspect so. It’s not natural, never wanting to shag a bird.
          Maybe all men need to be married once, at least then you’ll have gotten laid (at the start at least) and you’ll appreciate being single a whole lot more when it goes tits up.

          • I bet he was at the choirboys…that’s why men become priests,access to children and an “authority” to intimidate them into silence.
            No fucker would become a priest unless they thought that their perversions would be tolerated and covered-up.

            Surely nobody was ever stupid enough to become a priest because they honestly believed that ridiculous mumbo-jumbo is true?
            Oh no,it’s because they are all deviants and perverts,every single one of them. The only ones who don’t “dip their wick” in the younger pot are the pervert priests who lack the physical strength to attack even the weakest and most vulnerable.

          • Prince Charles would always aid and abet a pervert….both of his brothers have rather “exotic” friends and tastes….he’s probably no stranger to buggering the butler,either.

            Nasty old wanker.

          • Although I bet that none of them felt the need to touch up a young Anne….nobody would stoop that low.

          • I wonder if Phil the Greek’s knocked one out thinking about bumping off his illegitimate “grandson”‘s caramel-coloured bride before she gives birth to a quarter darkie/bloodnut hybrid?

          • They’d have to get a bridle on her first… and a saddle… unless they wanted to risk going bareback.

        • I think the expression is “there’s no fool like an old fool”.

          What did he seriously think was going to happen?

          Sorry but absolutely no sympathy for this gullible old duffer. Does that make me a bad person?

        • Oops – the above was meant in reply to TtCE’s comment…

          Great reports btw Dick, you really couldn’t make up stuff like that… no wonder this country is such a pushover for the rest of the world!

    • Stupidity really is becoming a culture in it’s own right these days. Lost count of the amount of stories I’ve heard like this one recently, where some numb cunt does something intergalactically idiotic, and then goes crying like a 4 year old to the papers and courts when the chickens inevitably come home to roost. People that thick need to be fucking euthanized.

    • Stupid cunt !!!
      No point suing a potless wanker as the idea is surly to get your money back?
      That reminds me of all those desperate old sorts who bring back a young king dong from Gambia!! Daft fuckers…….

  17. The cunt went to one of our local private schools.

    The same school attended by John McDonnell, Shadow Chancellor of the Exchequer.

    Says it all really.

  18. I was once advised to watch the sh(it) crowd. some edgy ch4 comedy. this nasal whistling spunk bucket was on it. absolute gash it was. about as funny as an anaesthetic free frontal lobotomy. the kind of shit that gets grauniad readers both moist and erect. probably at the same time. please mr akonfafya go

    • You’re an upstart sir!

      Moist and erect I may be after watching the IT Crowd… but a Grauniad reader? How dare you.

      I have never been so insulted in all my life.

      • Agreeing with Mr Creampuff here.

        Call me a wanker, call me a cunt…. but to call me a Cuntiad reader is beyond the pail

        I may need to sit down and recover from the truama

          • Point taken, NCFOM. Hadn’t considered that. Should have seen that being accused of Gaurdina reading is a touch worse than an accusation of child-molesting. My apologies, Sir.

  19. Lot of props here for the tragically unfunny IT Crowd. I heard about it so bought series 1 on DVD way back when. I don’t get it. Some loud Oirish sounding cunt yelling the whole time, this shit streak trying to be quirky with stupid one liners and the show’s punch line ‘turn it off and back on again’ repeated ad nauseam. Really? I mean fucking really? I work in IT and none of that cak resonated with me at all. Maybe it was so dumbed down so people who don’t work in IT would get it. Not sure. But it was total shit.

    I heard Matt Berry joined the cast after series one. He’s awesome. Love Toast of London and a couple of other things he’s been in. But Ayoade is just an unfunny cunt with no talent, stupid hair and wanker’s glasses.

    • Toast of London was piss funny – especially the Bob Monkhouse episode featuring his zombie wife.

      • Yeah Paul. How good was that Monkhouse impersonation? Best line: “People seem to think I live in Kent. I can hear them saying it whenever I walk past”. Hahaha.

          • Ray fucking Purchase!

            Well, well, well. If it isn’t Steven Toast.

            Might watch a bit of Toast later with a glass or two of some Sauv Blanc.

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