Summer Solstice Celebrations

This needs a good cunting. Once again the great un washed, for a one time only, get up early to watch the sun rise over a half built early council estate. A gowned prick wanders around praising some God for everything, whilst most others decide to fuck each other, men, women, animals in the name of love. Impress us by getting a job you work shy shawl wearing cunts. Once finished it’s back to the turf roofed eco house for a hearty breakfast of lentils with fucking everything.

Nominated by Dry Itchycunt

39 thoughts on “Summer Solstice Celebrations

  1. No doubt Corbyn will make a speech at the event although Abbot had to cancel due to no fried Chicken on the vegan only menu. A load of daft cunts will stand there filming the Sun without realising how shit the video will be on their phones and a nice piss up and drug binge to follow after. The cunts.

  2. I couldn’t be bothered with all this shite. They do look like bellends, the lot of them. I will stick to Morris dancing.

    • Where there be morris dancing, there be proper ale and no wimminz to spoil the festivities…

  3. Hippies. Just fucking hippies.
    Anyone remember that 1980s Quatermass series where the aliens were vaporizing mass gatherings of hippies?
    Cracking stuff…

    • Oh come now Mr Bastard… who amongst us has never been tempted to wear a kaftan and a flower in our hair? I know I have.

      I was 14 at the time and it was 1967…

      • Got nothing against long hair or beards RTC.
        Or 60s fashions or music. It’s when they start spouting middle-class-marxist fairytale bollocks that I get the red mist.
        Been a scruffy jeans and t shirt longhair most of my life, but never been a hippy šŸ˜

      • MeToo… scruffy jeans & t-shirt… can’t abide the hairdresser… go every 6 or 7 months if the missus is lucky. Shave only when stubble starts to irritate…hate facial hair… beard just once, when I got it into my head I was Charlie Manson. Bit of a washout really… šŸ™ƒ

  4. Iā€™d like to see their reaction if I gatecrashed their poncy ceremony wearing a Canada Goose jacket, chewing on a nice juicy steak and waving an England flag. Iā€™d have a load of big bearded men and women with hairy armpits screaming in my face and Iā€™d be banged up for ā€œdisturbing the peaceā€, labelled a racist and put in a wing with Muslims for my execution. Sound familiar?

  5. Ancient rural practices me dears. Interfere with them at your peril. As Liege Lord orf The Manor yours truly has first pick orf the virgins and must give it one to ensure a good crop orf tatties and general abundance for the harvest. Has to be a virgin and finding one is a heavy burden these days. Take a shotgun approach and shag everything in the hope that.

  6. Oh fuck !! Iā€™ve missed it again, was just on my way to Stonehenge , VW camper van full of incense sticks and elderberry wine! Ah fuck just gonna have to make do with a bottle of bourbon and the footie!
    Maybe next year………
    Yeh next year…..
    definitely….
    yeh!!
    Maybe?
    CUNTS!!!!

  7. Got a Goat? I realized my oldest son was dyslexic when he went to a toga party dressed as a goat. Next day he went as a boat. Day after he went as a Moat

  8. Last time I went we hadn’t even got out the car before some chav whipped his cock out nearby. More chavs than hippies, drinking shit beer, playing gash music, and climbing all over the stones. Surely that puddle of acidic chav piss will ruin the stones more than nearby traffic pollution. Amazing they allow it all to be honest.

    It was a thoroughly depressing experience, except for one moment I sat back against the stone and felt some weird connection to it. Odd.

    100 years ago it would be a completely different experience.

  9. A hippy once punched me in the face for goosing his girlfriend. So much for peace and love for all.

  10. I agree, Cuntflap… I fucking loathe hippies…. Any hippies… They are cunts…. Only peacefuls rival them for being premium human filth…

    • Some poor mistaken souls confuse hippies and bikers.
      Enormous fun can be had whilst proving oneself “not a hippy”
      Mind you, it’s probably illegal to do so now…

  11. So is Ken Barlow out of Coronation Street somewhere amongst all the other twats in the picture?

    • Ken was always a smug cunt… I always liked Albert Tatlock though…
      And Val (Ken’s first wife) was quite tasty…

      • Good old Ken Barlow. Been in Corrie since 1960 and never had to act once in all that time. Also a druid. What a cunt.

  12. There was this scruffy hippy cunt who used to have a record stall in Manchester’s Corn Exchange… And he thought that every person who went into his grotty booth was obligated to buy something from him…. And if someone looked around and didn’t buy anything the smelly cunt would then follow them to their next port of call and then bitch to other stall owners about how ‘this person’ comes into his shop and never buys anything, within earshot of the person who was the latest to offend him/ not buy any of his crap… Very sneaky and snide… He once did it to a mate of mine, so I slapped the dirty cunt round the head… He didn’t like that at all… Anyway, his grotty hippy stall went up in smoke and pieces when those Fenian cunts bombed Mcr in 96… And the hippy cunt never resurfaced again… So, I suppose the Motorway Micks have their uses after all….

  13. A Peaceful type walking amongst the cunts with a big ole backpack on would bring the silly buggers to their senses .

  14. In my experience hippies are smelly,two faced, idle, lying hypocrites who will thieve anything that isn’t nailed down. If approached by a hippy you should kick it in the bollocks / cunt first, then enquire what it wants second ,then tell it to fuck off.
    Good evening.

  15. Hippy birds were always happy to shed their clothes, and yes, they fucked like bunnies. I remember a hippy gathering at a place called Druridge Bay. They called it a ” happening”
    My wank bank has had many replays over that summer.

  16. Given that Stonehenge seems to have been an altar for human sacrifice, my main complaint is that this great tradition hasn’t survived the millenia.No more does the elected king hippy for the year get his carotid severed with a ceremonial knife, to become the centrepiece of the subsequent long-pig roast. Faux-authentic (qv) cunts.

    • I doubt if the King Hippy went under the knife. Religions donā€™t tend to work like that. More likely some spotty, brainwashed, thick as a plank wanker who was quite happy to have his guts spilled for a privileged place in the after life.
      See : a certain peaceful religion which is very important to our exalted Prime Minister.

      • Oh sure, it was a wanker, Freddie. But he was elected king-for-a-year, more than likely because he was disposable or a nuisance. At least that’s what Roman sources suggest concerning Druidic practices. The priests held the real power. Before the Druids – anybody’s guess, but maybe even livelier.
        Pedantic interjection ends.

  17. I’m a tad jealous of these hippies. No cares about washing, no worries about working an exhausting job and paying the mortgage. I’m trying to move house at the moment (I recently cunted Estate Agents but the Admin haven’t been partial to my wondrous and accurate rant) but these hipsters with their relaxed life of bliss and pleasure only induce a feeling of envy.

    Good luck to the blighters; I hope they enjoy their youth.

    • It’s all fun and games until you get AIDs or gangrene of the nutsack because you haven’t washed since the last solar eclipse.

      Hippy chicks all have faces like fire damaged lego by their 30th. Skanky dishrags.

  18. I would like to nominate the faux outrage, angst and hand-wringing about “kids being separated from their parents” – in US border control – for a cunting.

    There are cunts on both side of the pond rubbing onion skins in their eyes in order to look teary enough for their Twatter feeds or FaceCunt pages.

    O’course there’s only one person responsible for this, one Donald J. Trump.

    When I see this virtue-signalling at its purest I would just like to ask the cunts: but it was ok on Barry’s watch though wasn’t it!?!

    To add insult to injury, the footage showing children in cages – used to ram home how baaaad Trump is – was actually proved to be library footage from 2014 when – remind me again – who was POTUS back then???

    Ahhh but we’ll skirt past that fact eh!

    Then I happen upon the new Frankie Boyle vehicle on AL-BEEB 2 (who is only tolerated for towing the anti-Trump, anti-Brexit line) when he introduced that trout-gobbed harridan Sarah Pascoe on.

    “And how are you doing this week?”

    “Not so well Frankie, really upset about children being separated from…”

    OH WILL YOU PLEASE FUCK OFF!

    Firstly American policy on immigration has fuck all to do with you, cunt!

    Secondly it wasn’t Trump’s idea and has been going on for years before, during and after Barry’s tenure if nothingness as US President, cunt!

    Finally, why do you think this is coming out now? Why because the Democunts – as with everything immigration bound – it’s a useful vehicle to further relax laws to allow more of their voters to flood into the country and rig every election to come. It would have been hushed/glossed over if anyone had dared mention it or press the point too hard under Barry’s or (thank God not) Killary’s watch! CUNT!

    The neo-liberal left is in complete meltdown where everyone is compartmentalised into pigeon-hole groups, and if that group is not of the right-on variety then they should be eradicated.

    Like excluding the entire group of white people from any discussion/say on immigration because they’re all waycist and may not think the same way we do.

    Missing the point that to exclude any given group based on their skin colour alone is the very definition of waycism.

    Donald Trump could cure cancer tomorrow and the CNN, MSNBC, AL-BB-CERA, et. al., headline would be: “Donald Trump to raise Medicare costs!”

    Fucking neo-liberal fascist cunts!

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