Sky TV is a cunt, utterly ridiculous monthly packages for only £49.99 or £63.99 or £74.99, tailored packages to suit your choices, apparently.

Get to fucking fuck. What a comprehensive pile of cunt these cunts are.

Excited, deep voiced over trailers showing some cunt called Pablo the overpaid cunt scoring some ridiculous one off 30 yard goal then running to the crowd making a love heart shape with its hands as if this is what happens every time you tune in.

Really, try watching West Ham v Everton, but hey, the Premier League is the ‘best league in the world’, apparently. Well that’s what Linekunt and his shameless cabal would have you believe, I wonder if that’s got anything to do with being paid £1.75m a year to promote it when Al-BBCeer gets the Saturday night scraps?

Anyway I digress.

Sky have a new ‘buddy cop’ show out called Bulletproof.

The stars of the show are 2 Black plain clothed cunts called Starskey and Hutch, oh hang on no there not I think they may be called ‘despite prejudice’ and ‘institutionally racist’ but I could be wrong there.

Anyway these all action cunts pound the beat in London’s East End fighting crime and doing a bit of man love as an aside.

Positive black Male role models are the only reason ‘Bulletproof’ was commissioned.

It’s a pile of cunt, if it were a fly on the wall documentary there’d be fuck all time for man love scenes as Starskey (played by Noel Clark) would be too busy chasing Huggy Bear (played by just about any cunt you care to think of) and Hutch would be too busy filling out a Stop and Search receipt to justify stopping a machete waving mad man that’s just torched a Primary School.

If you happen to come across this shite you can be forgiven for Thinking you’ve climbed into a wardrobe and alighted in Narnia.

Nominated by, CuntyMcCuntface.


42 thoughts on “SKY TV

  1. Sky are a bunch of money-grabbing bastards. They expect you to pay separately for each package and every different device. We’ve had a sky+ HD box for a few years. Do we actually get any HD channels? Fucking no. Apart from Al-BBC HD and a few other mainstream ones, the rest you have to pay for separately. It’s the same with catch up TV. Buy the box for about £20. Pay for the box sets separately. What a load of utter wank; these crooks are getting away with it. No one should have to pay this much for something where most of the channels are tailored towards vacuous snowflakes who sit there on Insta with Love Island or Keeping up with the Kardashians on in the background. Cunts.

  2. These two black detectives……..didn’t they want to be architects? Or Yoot workers in the communidee?
    Why dem work for Babylon?


    • Sounds like a diversity driven makeover of The Sweeney, I bet all the crims are nasty racist honeys. Ayee brudda.

  3. Even if you’re into football you need your head examined if you pay all that money to anyone for tv.
    License – 150 odd bucks
    Sky/virgin – 50 bucks plus so 600 for the year.
    Thats 750 bucks plus a year to watch some buffoons kick a ball about PLUS have the mentally degenerative poison that is the cuntashians blithering on in the background.
    If you really want to lower your IQ and get agressive with your family you can save yourself nearly a grand a year by just licking a lump of lead on a regular basis.
    Seriously, what the fuck are you doing?

  4. As previously mentioned, we ditched Sky at the end of last month and are now £1440 a year better off.

    The wife likes netflix box sets, because there isn’t an ad break every ten minutes.

    With the new smart TVs, there is no need for satellite TV. everything turns up on one of the built in aps a few months after Sky anyway.

  5. I could be wrong (wouldn’t be the first time) but have always imagined Sky is for cunts with cash to burn and swimming pools full of piss to boil, not to mention too much time on their hands.
    There’s already more than enough choice with stuff on Freeview, etc, without Sky’s rip-off package tomcuntery.
    Besides, I’ve still got hundreds of Box sets and individual DVDs to view… if I could only tear myself away from ISAC for a moment….

    No doubt Sky has its uses, but it’s fuck all use to me.

  6. Never had Sky, never will. No way I’m giving those corrupt cunts a single penny. In the shopping centre the next town over from me there’s a permanent manned Sky stand which whenever I pass I always make sure to shout abuse at.

  7. Why pay a bean to these cunts? Stream everything you want for free!

    Always fun watching them try to kill live streams for the football – one goes down and two pop up. Makes me laugh to think at the pointless effort some lackey in Sky HQ is going to.

  8. Looking smugly (no television, by choice) at the listings in the paper, I’m not sure why Sky’s being singled out here. All the mass media are cunts, run by beancounters for the benefit of their financiers and aimed wherever possible at the lowest common denominator. Entertainment of the said LCD triumphs over information and standards slip further by the day. Fuck them all.

  9. Are there really black Gays? It makes the breeding rate of the straight ones even more admirable. I assumed that every black gentleman had at least 5-6 children,if there really are Gay Darkies it ups the rate of procreation even higher for the rest of them. The fact that none of them ever live with the babies’;mothers is an even more noteworthy feat…no whinging kids,no fat,frumpy,moaning woman and best of all no child support to pay..’Spect blud.
    The only Gay Darkie I’ve ever seen on the telly was in some dreadful Nicolas Cage film where they were all prisoners on some plane. I think the Dark Fruity got stabbed..I may be wrong,but I do remember chuckling about something while watching.
    I have heard of other Gays mentioning that they’d “snogged a black man”,but always assumed that it was code that meant that they’d taken advantage,in the most vile way, of a black man who’d passed out after too many drugs.
    Anyhow,I stray from the subject..what a ridiculous idea to make a show that would have us believe that 2 black men could be detectives. Everyone knows that they’d end up dealing drugs,molesting white women and slacking off for 4 hour chiggun-dinner breaks if there wasn’t a white officer to keep them on the straight and narrow.
    Bring back Racial and sexual profiling…identify all the Darkies,Sand Stabbers,Gays and Pikeys, and you’ve identified 99% of all criminals.

    Fuck them.

    • Justin Fashanu?

      Fashanu, fashanooo, a penis up your rectum really makes you howeeellll…

  10. What’s a good live streaming site then? I,ve tried some but they seem more hassle than they’re worth. Stopstream is the one I use at the moment. Being a golf fan I sometimes fork out for a weekly pass on Now TV. £12.99, that s give you access to all Sky’s sports channels but fuck my old boots, what an absolute pile of shite. Of course most of the time there is no live sport on, but they have to put something on. Highlights of the premier season 94/95 anyone? In depth interview with Gary Neville from 2004?. Some of this shit was actually on while World Cup matches were being shown live. Would be interesting to know the vi Ewing figures. Five, six ?. If Sky keep putting up their prices people will leave in their 1000s.

    • Twitch seems a proud illegal supporter of many live events. Google ‘overpriced sky event of your choice’ comma twitch and hit the big arrow key and get the beer ready.

    • You know its important stuff when they are telling you super secret information about how hitler was the evilest man ever! or how hitler was planning to use ancient demon blood magic to fuel an army of super soliders…

      Regardless if its true Dick, its sounds like a great plot for a b horror film

        • Der Furhrer also was in league with space aliens and had a fleet of advanced flying saucers at his disposal.
          Oh yeah and a hidden base on the dark side of the moon, as well as the one in Antarctica.
          It’s all on Youtube.

          (well, apart from any actual evidence)

  11. “Oxford don is branded ‘disgraceful’ for calling out young man with Down’s syndrome as SEXIST after he proudly tweets that he chooses ‘his clothes and hair because he’s a man’
    Marianne Talbot was slammed after lecturing a man with Down’s syndrome.
    Brent posted a photo saying he chooses ‘his clothes and hair because he’s a man’
    The Oxford director said he was implying women can’t choose their clothes”

    Fuck me,what kind of a humourless,sour old bitch must you be to call out a mental for using what you like to think is sexist language.

    • Feckin’ mind-blowing. Oxford don? Really…?

      This country is finished.

    • I’m still getting over the media frenzy concerning Siralan Sugar (monumental cunt, but almost sorry for him on this one) lightheartedly comparing the Senegal team to a bunch of beach vendors. Should he be fired? Sure thing, but not for that, ffs.

  12. With such a monumental cunt as Murdoch affiliated with Sky, what else would one expect?

    The utterly fucking obscene amounts of money thrown at the Premiership are more than enough reason alone to avoid the fuckers. Sadly, for those who like a bit of sport you either have to be stupid enough to pay the crazy subscription to Sky or swallow the indignity of having Virginmedia for a bit of Eurosport.

    Anyone though who pays for Sky Movies in this day and age truly needs their fucking heads examined. Let alone the calibre of most mainstream and even left-field films being almost universally shite style-oversubstance affairs since 2015, there are so many more massively cheaper routes to consider for entertainment needs.

    Komodo is right that all media providers are cunts, but Sky go that extra mile in ripping off the gullible fuckers with packages of almost literal shite that many are too fucking daft to realise they don’t need.

  13. Was paying £90 a month for Sky multi-room for over a decade and was never offered any deals.
    Meanwhile my brother in law who has a small package from Sky, then cancells it for a year, then has another small package, then moves house, gets a call from Sky, sign up again and get all sport and movie channels free for six months, then six months half price.
    I call the cunts, “What deal you gonna do for me, a ninety quid a month mug cunt like me.”
    Nothing. My contract is what it is.
    Have a smaller package with Sky now.
    Want a new channel or package, gotta pay. Sky lose Champions League to BT sport, remove Fox news…. no reduction in my monthly subscription, but don’t worry they’ve got women’s golf.

    Sky are cunts…every time I turn the cunt on, it’s just another load of cunts who’ve moved to Alaska…

  14. I’m currently watching a family of starlings bathing, squabbling and generally having a whale of a time in the bird bath in the front garden, fuck Sky and the rest of them, this is much more interesting.
    Good afternoon.

    • I was actually just watching a rabbit eat leafy greens while I was sipping my java this morning beats watching any shite on the telly

      These rabbits shit all over the yard but its mirco sized droppings very hard to see Fun fact rabbits eat thier own fecal matter as a means of survival and for dietary nutrients uhm yummy. i’m guessing sky cable executives likely do the same but you have to pay for the unentertaining shite they shovel out to you

    • I’ve got blackbirds. They nest in my hedge and eat my strawberries. Cunts, but strangely welcome. Never thought I’d be into birds but they’ve got TV beat every time. Saw a white-tailed eagle last year. From the garden. In time to get the binocs on it too.

  15. I’ve heard that Sky is shite; my landlord has us hooked up to Virgin.
    Difficult to believe that Sky is worse ! Maybe it’s just Channel 4 techie probs (image pixelation / out of synch sound), but they do have some decent non-fiction / travel stuff on (as opposed to their regular 7pm fiction hour with the badly-fucked-up-tie- man (who has a “thing” about confusing “penal” with “penile”), Guru-Murphy and that dysentery-amoeba Newmong.

  16. For me, all tv will only get interesting when some horrific disease sweeps the planet and I want to see the gory details from my cave. And no, I shall not be paying for that either.

  17. It’s an odd one this sky tv malarkey!! My wife’s an intelligent woman with a first class education and decent job but she has been sucked into the vacuous black hole that is sky entertainment!!
    Love island ? Check
    Ex on the beach? Check
    Geordie shore ? Ditto
    Ex on the beach USA? I’m afraid so
    America’s next top model? Err yep!
    Ireland’s ntm
    U.K. s “ ntm
    Her and some of her flim flam friends were actually talking about moon arsed Kim Kardashian’s new show!! And asking where bear from ex on the beach had gone? Hopefully the cunt went back to his scaffolding day job and fell from the tallest building in London Head first!
    The point I making is this utter TV crud can infect anyone, it’s all supply and demand! It reminds me of the film “field of dreams “ build it and he will come ‘ says the voice , well sky have indeed built it!! An enormous turd temple where the brainless masses can go a find happiness in their blissful ignorance…….

  18. I only have Sky for a telephone line, free weekend and evening calls, broadband and fuck all else. As soon as the cunting monthly fee moves 1p north, I will be on the phone fucking them off.

    Every time I play brinkmanship with these cunts, threatening to walk, and get the monthly bill knocked down below that of their best competition. I have no allegiance to Murdoch. Whilst he has his wrinkly old todger wedged up Jerry Hall’s filthy old pink bucket, I will play his call-centre staff like James Galway on the flute.

    Cunts (naturally).

  19. It is fucking ever so clear that SKY pulled FOX news from their schedules as shows like Tucker Carlson were gaining traction in the UK and we can’t have that can we ? Fucking manipulative biased bastards.

    • Let’s start a campaign mate to get Tucker back on our screens.

      I’m sure you’d like me you’d like that.

    • Sky claimed only half a dozen ( slight exaggeration) people ever watched Fox News ? Utter bollocks!!

  20. Somebody on ISAC got me tuned in to Bitlord ( which doesn’t work for me any more) So I had the opportunity to watch a few series buckshee.
    Only one was any good and that was Happy Valley.
    I trudged my way through Bancroft, Liar , Paula and Collateral but they were just fucking awful, full of social messages. Emasculated black men married to ambitious white girls, the scene usually showing him in the kitchen doing the dishes or folding the laundry.
    Then you have to have two men doting on their (naturally) adorable and adopted little girl , driving her around in the BMW, which all male same sex couples seem to have.
    Of course the authorities are plotting to take their treasure away from them!

    “Collateral” and “Bancroft” were the worst , with the lesbian angle,the feminist backdrop, the pregnant cop with her girlfriend in fucking Afghanistan who then shows up in a scene with a lumberjack shirt on.. give me a fucking break willya?
    They all have the Slavic Mafia entrenched in the plotlines so we can hate someone, or the kindhearted peaceful’s wives to tug at our snowflake heartstrings.
    There’s always a disgruntled black cop who’s screwing the Super (ever seen a gruntled black cop?) and he’s got a cool apartment and also drives a BMW
    Who writes this shit?
    I didn’t realize how bad things had become in my old country, the fact that Bitlord won’t work any more is probably better for my health. But that just leaves me with watching pro sports and that’s another fetid fucking swamp of cheating, lying , drugs and mountains of dirty money.
    Actually it has the same ingredients. The Russian Mafia,Transgenders,Lesbians, corruption, feminism and politics.
    Time to turn back to reading!

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