Katie Tyler


I want to nominate Katie Tyler (LBC travel correspondent) for being so gratuitously nice, and signing off every report with “I’m Katie Tyler” in a cutesy, butter wouldn’t melt in her chuff voice.

Appalling waste of airtime – who the fuck doesn’t know what’s happening on the roads?! It’s a fucking nightmare, the same on the trains, which is why I never go anywhere… I mean the wife spent over £7000 on a season ticket to Londonistan earlier this year… she’d have been better off hiring a moped or pair of roller skates.

Btw, if anyone’s looking for credit, go to: ohshit.co.uk.

Nominated by Ruff Tuff Creampuff

74 thoughts on “Katie Tyler

  1. She can rest her weary, radio voice on my lap any time of the day. The road to Castle Magnanimous is clear.

  2. I could wholeheartedly endorse this cunting if Katie Tyler looked like Diane Abbott or Anna Soubrey but from the picture above she seems to be a bit of a cutie.

    She could melt her butter in my mouth.

    Sorry Mr Creampuff but I don’t think you are going to get many cuntings on this thread. Participants will comprise of colossal pervs like the good Captain above and me. Oh and the usual thread diversions of course.

    • #MeToo Paul – my cunting is based entirely on her vexatious interjections on my RADIO, not her suitability or performance in the sack.

      Trust me, as a committed feminist I would NEVER dream of judging a bird on her looks or fuckability alone.

  3. oh no its the first anniversary of the griefjack fire. fuck me i thought it was about the two hundredth anniversary they’ve been talking about it that much. watching some shite about brainwashing cornish kids to go green for grenfell . cunts. on a side note a block of flats in portsmouth has been discovered to contain concrete thats weaker than expected . the fact this block has stood perfectly ok for over 50 years is a bit like the bumble bee being unable to fly apparently. oh and any legal expert cunters out there as my mum dad and me (aged 5) moved in as the first tenants of said block and since i found out about the possible imminent collapse of the block i’ve been having traumatic flashbacks of the rubble strewn wreckage. i smell compo.

  4. It’s hardly Katie’s fault that there are too many fucking people in this country.
    I think we know who is responsible for that.

  5. Unless she was speaking in the voice of Angela Merkal and endorsing the landing of stranded migrant boats, if there was an hour of service at the end of it she could say anything she wanted in my car and still be safe.

  6. Never heard of her RTC, but she looks harmless enough.
    On a completely unrelated note, Royal Mail stamps depicting Dad’s Army characters and their catchphrases are available from all good post offices (if you can find one ) from the 26th of June. There’ll be plenty available, so don’t panic.

    • “We’re doomed” and “You Stupid Boy” will be quite popular I imagine. I don’t know what the millennialist will make of them though.
      On the other hand they probably don’t know what letters and stamps are.

  7. If your missus had gone by scooter you could be hundreds of thousands of pounds better off by now.
    Everyone knows cops can’t keep up with 2stroke mopeds carrying up to 3 grown adults and a half tonne of jewelry.
    If there was any danger of her getting caught a 99p can of boot polish will sort it out.

    • To be fair, I wouldn’t be any pounds better off Cuntflap – as I never contributed a penny to the wife’s nonsensical train fare in the first place.

      As a result I’m already hundreds of thousands of pounds better off, ha ha!

      Top tips though – cheers!

  8. Doeth she lithp cutely? And doeth every thententhe end with a quethtion mark? They seem to be selecting for those at presenter school, along with misplaced emphases and general mateyness. And they’re all about 12. Which would get me into considerable trouble if I so much as hinted that I definitely would.

    I am covered in the debris from falling standards, and my piss boils. Yup, well cunted.

    • Mercifully no lithping, but the general thrust of your comment is not a million miles from the shocking reality…

  9. I bet she’d be good in the sack; I’d give her a bloody good seeing to. The part of this cunting I agree with most is the astronomical train ticket prices. I remember back in my school days the lads I got the train with to school forked our £400 on a season ticket. The journey from our local station to school consisted of one stop and a 5-6 minute ride. Seeing as the tickets were a right rip off; I didn’t bother buying one each morning unless the conductor approached me on the train. Saved myself a bloody fortune.

    P.S. Katie has nice blow job lips.

    • There was something in the paper yesterday of train companies not having enough qualified drivers to go through tunnels around North London, so involves pulling up at a station and changing drivers. We used to rule a quarter of the world once you know.

      • Useless no-marks. How many buttons and switches can there be in one of these modern trains. Some of the fuckers are even driver-less. No wonder they’re always late. Many of these tosspot train drivers take a 50k a year salary.

        • Typical crap msm reporting the reason the drivers can’t go through the tunnel is route knowledge. It’s a newly opened tunnel so until all drivers are route competent then that’s how it goes. All train drivers have to KNOW the route they are on ALL of it. Signals, junctions, level crossings, tunnels, speed limits etc. The train drivers are overpaid bolshie cunts for sure but thems the rules and the reasons. Another reason for hating the Msm shows how easily old prejudice can be manipulated. BR = Useless,Trump = Useless, Brexit = Disasater. Always the negative side and of course push the leftie narrative.

  10. Well hot damn. In fairness she’s probably the least objectionable voice on LBC. If she had a hot sister doing the weather called Jeniferrrrr then that would be a right pickle of confliction I must admit!

    • Less objectionable than James O’Shithead’s charming utterance, I’ll give you that Chunky. I wonder what he’ll be wanting to “keep it friendly” about today…

  11. We moved to our current house (opposite a private school) approximately 25 years ago.

    Then, was relatively quiet with occasional traffic weekdays.

    Now everyone doing the school run seems to be driving large powerful fucking tank like 4×4’s, mainly women all wearing sunglasses and exceeding the speed limit with NO consideration for anyone but themfuckingselves.

    Our 1 year old cat was run over about 4 years ago we think by one of these selfish cunts, leaving us in the position of being either cat less or having to spend £3000 having his back end rebuilt out of metal. Being kind hearted we chose the latter.

    Too many fuckers in the country and far too many driving their rented cars. Also the added problem of dodgy looking Eastern Europeans driving their untaxed, unlicensed, uninsured left hand drive shit boxes around dangerously (have several times seen them driving on the wrong side of the road) with music blaring.

    All cunts.

    Too many

    • SUVs have no business being in a dense urban environment comprised of nothing but paved narrow roads. None. When did this infatuation begin? It seems to have spread like an epidemic. Has to have been some cunt tv show or celebricunt that caused it.

      They need a real good cunting I reckon.

      • May be something to do with out-of-town shopping, and the perceived need to stock up for a month at a big supermarket. At least they’ve got good visibility, unlike the BMW who emerged from a side road yesterday and had to get halfway out to see if anything was coming. It was; a Merc doing 50 in a 40 zone, who had to swerve round the cunt. Into my path, coming the other way. Thank god for situational awareness. And only two wheels.

        • The whole 4×4 thing is down to the following rule:
          The larger the vehicle, the safer the occupant.
          Unscrupulous sales cunts lean heavily on this where women and kids are concerned.
          Its bullshit of course.
          But does make for some hilarity when it comes to parking in supermarket spaces.
          Cunts.

      • Thank you Allan.

        Fantastic creatures in my humble opinion however a view I know not shared by some on this site.

          • Low maintenance, hairs can be rid of unlike dog hairs and no picking up shite unless they’re old and senile. Not particularly smelly either.

          • #Metoo.

            Millie, Mollie, Tia, Oscar, Hugo, Thomas & Poppy

            Love a bit of pussy, me.

    • Did you really do that, Willie? Wow! Maximum respect. Cats are awesome. Sounds like yours is more awesome than most. Good on ya!

  12. Ruff Ruff, I know you are a recent addition to posters on here, and it’s nice to know that you have found somewhere to vent your frustrations, but I have noticed a large number of your posts are aimed at James O’Brien and LBC as they clearly raise your blood pressure.
    Here’s a tip.
    Don’t listen to LBC….

    • Nicely said there. Nothing worse than us cunters not picking up the ball and running with it. I even tried googling this woman and couldn’t find a good reason to cunt her. I did try!
      However RTC, I feel you should add this injury to the existing insult. Increase the frequency with which you listen to this show. Record choice sections to listen to for when it doesn’t get you going. Feed the rage RTC, feed the rage!

      • You can google to your heart’s content Cuntflap, but I bet you Katie’s quivering quim you’ve never heard even one of her travel reports. Am I right?

        Fair do’s though, your common sense comment has not gone unappreciated.

          • FFS Cuntflap! They left the worst bit out! Where she signs off with: “I’m Katie Tyler…” Now my piss is boiling anew, and I haven’t been near LBC all morning!

            Cunts!

            Btw, Mary Tyler Moore – with her twee *MTM* logo – also used to irritate me slightly, every now and again.

            She too was pretty damn fuckable in her day.

            Thanks for all the positive feedback cunters, will certainly give Katie one now (butter and all) if she’s up for it.

            Time I got a life otherwise.

          • She emits these little gasps as she speaks.

            I’d love to make her gasp.

    • Good advice. I have deliberately avoided O’Shithead for about 3 months now and feel much better for it. He is such an obnoxious, lying, multi- faced fucking cunt just the sound of his smug voice makes me apoplectic with uncontrolled rage. In fact i’m feeling fucking angry just writing about the cunt.
      I’ll go back to him when the World Cup is over just to see how long I can last before I start shouting and kicking things. If you’ve never heard him stay well away…….it’s not worth it.

    • You don’t happen to live next door by any chance, do you Cuntley? My next door neighbour is forever proffering the same good advice. Many thanks to you also Freddie.

      But as my good mate Sun Tzu opined over afternoon tea (loose) the other day:

      “If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

      To be fair, I also happen to be something of a masochist.

      • From what I have read in this and previous posts, your next door neighbour seems to be extremely logical and straight talking Ruff Tuff.

        • It’s not you is it Willie?!

          Too much to take in today… think I need to lie down in a darkened room for awhile.

          • That would be a fantastic coincidence if so Ruff Tuff

            In any case you should get your neighbour to check out ISAC.

          • It can’t be you cos he doesn’t have a little black Hitler moustache like yours. But wouldn’t that be amazing – Cuntley on one side and you on the other… Mind you, one of you would have to be Gay cos the neighbours on the right are of that persuasion, which is why I’m pretty sure neither of them is Dick Fiddler, even though he doth protesteth too much on occasion, methinks…

            Don’t fuck them.

  13. “Butter wouldn’t melt in her chuff.”

    A few years ago I had a fiancee who,after we’d been out fox hunting on the horses,enjoyed me lathering up her arse,or “curple”as she used to call it with unsalted butter. The butter certainly used to melt quickly and then she used to enjoy a few light swipes with the riding crop before we got down to the main event. She loved it . Margarine wouldn’t do,it used to get too greasy,it had to be butter,and none of those little square of it either,it had to be a good big block straight out of the pantry. Unfortunately there wasn’t the easy spread butter in those days,so I always tried to remember to get the butter out of the fridge before we set off on our days sport.
    We also indulged in the occasional bout of “carroting” if we had time while saddling up in the morning,nothing she liked more than a bit of warming up with a good sized vegetable, and I found it easier to give her a length of carrot than risk my riding breeches getting all sticky before the day had even started…honestly,the thought of fanny-juice and fox blood staining my breeches was more than I fancied.

    Fuck them.

    • Your sensitivity does you credit, Fiddler. Though, given the abundance of various soil bacteria on the average carrot, I hope it used a condom.

    • Now that’s what I call a constructive contribution!

      Enough to give an honest cunter the fucking horn in places…

      Took me back thru the mists of time to over 40 years ago, and my first fiancé’s penchant for *KY Jelly. Don’t recall using butter, but it’s quite possible. A lot of LSD and dope involved, of that I am sure.

      * Not that I didn’t turn her on, you understand…

  14. Just watching Trumps press meeting in Singapore.

    Incredibly impressed with him as an individual. A strong and powerful leader sorting out the problems in Asia which they were unable to sort out themselves.

    His straight talking, ability to get stuff changed, not to take any bullshit or listen to PC rhetoric, and to do the best he can for his fellow Americans who voted for him.

    How I wish we had someone like The Donald leading this once great country, we could surely be Great again if we had someone of his stature at the helm.

    We have “Strong and Stable” Theresa May. The complete fucking opposite. A national fucking disgrace.

    Useless bitch.

  15. Surely they have to give the Tango Man the Nobel Peace Prize now? The Libtards and their sleb arselickers will go fucking apeshit! The cunts will never stop crying.
    What a laugh that would be. 😁😁🤣🤣😂😂😁

  16. Fuck the fucking Guardian. Those bastards would rather see North Korea laid waste with millions of dead cunts just so they can say they were right.
    Fucking wankers.

  17. Hey, Little Rocket Man, whyn’cha rock by, oooh, Singapro, Singapaw, whaddever, and we c’n have us a meet and sign sump’n? Nooo. Nuthin’ bindin’. Just sign sump’n. Very, very, very bigly media presence, do us both some good PR wise, yeah? OK, that’s a deal. I did a deal with you, and you did a deal with me, right? Details? Who’s to know? Sure we can think of sump’n…see you there. Mentally deranged dotard out. Bye!

    (Transcript of secure phone conversation: definitely not sourced by Assange)

  18. I’d like to drive my love bus up her chocolate highway.
    I’d like to jam her ring road.
    I’d like to spill my load over her …. ok sorry…

    I’ve never heard of her but I’d definitely give her one.

  19. Question…..when is a government not a government?

    Answer…… when it is a British government

    Just do what the electorate voted for in the referendum and leave the European Union.

    Do what is clearly stipulated in both the Conservative and Labour election manifestos. Leave the single market and leave the customs union. Leave the European Union.

    Today there was a stupid labour bitch MP on BBC talking about the need to remain in the single market and the need for maintaining the EU open border policy.

    Like most Leavers I am so fucking pissed off with the governments handling of Brexit, but my blood boils when a stupid bitch after two years of nothing but government indecision is still ignoring democracy and voicing her UNWANTED and IRRELEVANT personal opinions.

    NOT FUCKING INTERESTED.

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