Modern Football

Modern football is absolute shite for many reasons and deserves a bloody good cunting.

The fact that the bastards who control all football related activities are corrupt as fuck makes for grim reading. They don’t seem to give a flying fuck about the fans. They are only concerned with lining their own pockets with stacks of cash; a lot of which comes from bribes and various back-handers. FIFA are the most notorious of these crooks but the rest are just as bad. Self-obsessed, money-grabbing, suit-poncing, fuckwits the lot of them.

Then we have the owners. Rich bastards who come from overseas with the promise of turning a pub team into a money-fuelled powerhouse, capable of winning an array of silverware. Most of these cunts oversee some success but then become bored, thus jumping ship and leaving the club with a load of overpaid nancy boys who they can’t afford to keep and a mess of spiralling debts and dodgy loans. The ones who do decide to stay for the long-term end up creating a monster, backed with endless sums of money and winning their league by about 50 points. They win all their games and no one else can compete with them. This makes the various domestic competitions dull as fuck and very predictable. Most notably, PSG are pretty much owned by an entire fucking country where spending £200 million on one player is like the average cunt buying a packet of pork scratchings down the local corner shop. Most owners these days are either Arabs, Chinks or Yanks who know fuck all about football and are just using a club as another business venture to make even more money that they don’t need.

Then we have the players. Bland idiots who seem to be void of any real personality. Just like the owners and the corrupt football governors, they don’t really care about the fans or the club. All they’re really concerned about is picking up their huge pay check and poncing about with their hair and socks all match. Mincing about the pitch like a fairy, cheating, diving and kissing each other as well as slapping each other’s arses. What a bunch of bloody shirt lifting cunts. The diving and play acting is the worst part. A tap to the face or a gentle push and they drop to the floor like they’ve been shot at point blank range by a double-barrelled shotgun. The same can be said when they feel the slightest bit of contact and go down far too easily to win a penalty or a free kick. Also, when they run over to the referee and ask for a card for the opposition player. It’s like at primary school when that one little snitch would run straight up to the teacher to report some pathetic incident. The ex-footballers turned pundits are just as nauseating. Having to listen to their tripe is nothing short of being so excruciatingly painful that you feel like blowing your fucking brains out. All these footballing cunts have been pampered and micro-managed and don’t have a scooby when it comes to anything outside of football. Some of these cunts need a good pasting.

As if being paid in a week, what most cunts earn in a decade wasn’t enough, these greedy little shitheads rake in more money through advertising and sponsorship. Being paid more millions on top of their current fortune for standing in front of a fucking green screen is ridiculous. Also, what is it with some of the fucking rules? A player takes his shirt off for a few seconds and is carded for it. This is apparently because the sponsor is paying to be on the shirt. Get off your high horse you utter wankers. Your brand image being invisible on one shirt for a few seconds isn’t going to cost you any money or affect your sales. You shit-mongering, controlling arseholes. Stadium atmospheres in England are absolutely diabolical compared to other countries thanks to the high number of tourists with their shit half-and-half scarves and their appalling selfie-sticks. The fact that rail-seating doesn’t exist in this country is ludicrous. It works in other countries so why not implement it in our stadiums. The FA and the British government are too tight and lazy to bother changing the current all-seater shite and keep hiding behind Hillsborough as a weak excuse. We all know that the Hillsborough disaster was down to poor stewarding and policing. It has nothing to do with the terraces. It was the fault of the inept stewards and the plod cunts. This has been proven. It has also been proven that rail seating is safer than the ‘safe standing’ areas we have in this country. Ticket prices are also extortionate and this is a bloody disgrace as hard-working fans can’t afford to see their team play regularly and the tickets are getting snapped up by tourists and the prawn sandwich brigade. This leads to a shit atmosphere at games most of the time because these types of people aren’t going to be the ones making the noise.

I could go on all day to be honest but this has already turned into a fucking essay and to make it any longer would be a waste of mine and everyone else’s time. I’ve summed up most of the problems we have to suffer with when it comes to football in this modern day. Football is a cunt and most of the people involved with the game are also major cunts. Fuck you, cunts.

Nominated by Jayniño

104 thoughts on “Modern Football

  1. Only problem is, that Against Modern Football group are supported by various authoritarian left dickheads, including Clapton Ultras. If you haven’t heard of them they’re basically like Celtic but even more left wing – a bunch of full on commies who love Antifa and want completely open borders.

    • I won’t be joining that group in my lifetime. I’ve heard about those Clapton arseholes and also Dulwich Hamlet are full of big beard hipster lefty cunts as well. I’ll just moan about it in the comfort of my front room. Also, fuck Hamburg and St Pauli.

  2. I don’t like football, the shit that goes with it, the foreign fuckers interviewed that cannot speak English, and all the hype and marketing that surrounds thick cunts who can kick a ball about.
    Egyptian PT….now that’s a sport !

    • Football…

      Summed up today by the likes of David Beckham and Septic Bladder.

      Is the latter still wilfully continuing to extort his toll on life ?

    • And they always sound so fucking sanctimonious like some pious old vicar – Arsehole Wanker was the perfect example. Still I suppose it keeps the trainers who are *interested* in teenage boys out of the courts – at least until said boy reaches 50 and wants compo, then the 35 year old fumble in the jockstrap suddenly gets remembered.

    • Egyptian Pt ! My ex army mate loves that expression , always made me laugh…..
      I used to love football, played it to a decent standard and followed it religiously!! , my dad used to bang on about what a complete bunch of self absorbed arseholes played it and ran it!! , my turning point was euro 96, England had done okay reaching the semifinals then predictably losing on penalties!, as the nation mourned and flags were taken down from pubs and houses I saw a picture in the paper of 5-6 England players on a speedboat drinking champagne and smoking cigars? All laughing and joking like they had actually won the fucking tournament!! At that point I realised professionals or not they didn’t give a flying fuck , another game, another pay day, another transfer!! After that year after year my love of game diminished, this season I haven’t watched a single game!, I’ve booked a holiday during the World Cup, if footballs your thing good luck , no problem but for me it’s a fucking cesspit of Cunts and the fans deserve so much more……
      Didn’t England’s players get pictured smoking cigars and drinking bubbly after getting humiliated by the Germans 4-1 in 2010 WC as well??
      You lost badly! You utter Cunts! Show some humility……
      rant over! 😡😎

    • I fucking love Egyptian PT… I have practiced it under a range of conditions, benign and hostile, and always found it beneficial…My particular favourite spot was under a table in the ( now ) BT building belfast.. slept for England ( no pun intended )…

  3. Cunts and circuses. The people who pay to watch it are just as moronic as those who play and finance it.

    A casual kick about in the local park is where I draw the line. Anything above that, from school or local competitiveness up to professional level.. total bunch of pointless wank.

  4. I have to say that the England team’s disgraceful performance at the last World Cup, and then blaming the fans for said performance, turned me from a casual fan to someone who just couldn’t give a fuck about it anymore. I no longer see it as a sport, but as a pastime for a bunch of spoilt primadonnas and an excuse for drunken tribalism among its “supporters”.

    • The big football stadiums of the world seem to be well-designed for matches between the rival fans, with sharp and blunt objects other than a ball. They’d be much more thrilling and fun than, and just as open to saturation advertising as, the football they would speedily replace. Add lions for that classical vibe…

  5. I see Onan (sic) Abramovich has overcome the little difficulty of not having his UK visa renewed due to some carelessness on the boss’s part with a bottle of novichuk. Simples. Flew to Israel, where of course he is welcomed with open arms as someone with a right to ‘return’, and handed an Israeli passport. Which gets him into anywhere in the EU without a visa requirement. Phew. Laundering his winnings through Chelsea can continue…

  6. Raheem Sterling and his gun tattoo, what a fucking wanker. Prick thinks he’s some kind of gangsta and his excuse is fucking laughable. A fucking ten year old wouldn’t come out with shit like that.
    Naturally he’s backed to the hilt by Saint Gary Taxdodger. eternal friend of the foreign born cunt.
    What a pair of shitheads.

    • He doesn’t like guns so he has one tattooed on him. Yeah right. And the FA are going to swallow that are they? The reason he had it done is because he’s an immature twat and an attention-seeker.

      • Imagine your Dad hanged himself and you had a noose tattoo to remind you that dangling ropes can be dangerous. You would be sectioned and wearing a straitjacket in 5 minutes flat.
        Apparently he likes to holiday in America. I can see him now in LA, where nobody knows the wanker, strutting around with his reverse baseball cap, long shorts halfway down his arse, covered in gold chains and showing off his gangsta tat.
        If he does that in the wrong place some cunt will put a bullet in his vacant brain.
        What a fucking laugh that would be.

    • Personally I’m far more against the reaction to it than anything else. Like it or not it was his personal choice to have that tattoo and authoritarian cunts such as Mothers Against Guns have no right to demand that he remove it, when it doesn’t affect anyone else. For once Jugears has a point.

  7. And what the fuck is going on with every cunt moving from club to club?
    Was Mario Balotelli not getting paid enough? Don’t fucking believe it. Don’t believe he’s switched to Arsenal for the weather either.

    • Never understood this. If you’re amazing do what Batistuta did and be a one man destroyer at Fiorentina for 9 years. Even stayed when they got relegated.

      Some of his goals are bloody ridiculous.

    • Fuck me, I hope Balotelli goes to the Gooners. He’ll fuck them up and he’s always good for a laugh.
      When he was in Manchester his car was pulled over by the coppers and he had 5 grand on the passenger seat. The copper said “why have you got all this cash”?
      —“because i’m rich.”

  8. Although I used to like playing sport, as a teenager, it wasn’t long before I realised I had interest whatsoever in watching it. Paid almost attention to any of it since and don’t feel I’m missing anything. Despair for me comes from wondering when the fuck we used all that gas, not ‘my team’ not being able to kick a ball as well as another bunch of cunts.

    • Being a fan of the late Sir John Betjeman and his poetry, I am rather partial to a hetero tennis girl.

  9. That should have read ‘NO interest whatsoever in watching it’. Also when you see some cunt crying because his team lost – if that’s the worst you have to live with the words ‘pig in shit’ spring to mind.

  10. In my day we played football with a real ball, a stitched leather fucker with a bladder saturated with rain and mud. Any cunt that tried to head one orf those was in horspital for a week. Seriously that is the hidden side orf the game with many old pros nursing a spot orf brain damage. Boots were lethal weapons with screw in metal studs and tank busting toe-caps. Shin pads? Fuck orf. Never heard orf ’em. That sort of poncy nonsense came in with the Iteyes in the ’60s.
    Old Norman “Bite’s yer legs” Hunter soon sorted those capering cunts oit. Cut their legs orf and then stomped their bollocks all in one neat move while they rolled aroinde the park in agony just short orf the penalty box. A true artist.

    • May I also add that in my day the greats orf the game were orn thirty bob a week and that was good money. They played like the hungry fighters they were and with pride. Real men.

    • I think it was the maths master intentionally booting an old-school football into my face as a kid which put me off the game completely. And the Plymouth Brethren, of which he was one. Double bonus, really.

  11. If there are no Gays to abuse and I can no longer chuck bananas at the dark gentlemen,I can’t see much point going.

    Fuck them.

  12. Cannot be bothered with modern football in any capacity these days.

    Majority of club owners are rich egocentric cunts, players are overpaid cheating pricks who’s loyalty is only to the highest bidder, and ridiculous transfer fees negotiated by parasite agents. Majority of managers are cunts, always to improve the team always “need to get three new players”. These days it is only about which clubs have the most money- a great manager (like the late Brian Clough) would be able to motivate good players into great players.

    You can watch it but only if you pay through the nose for the privilege, usually with shitty commentators followed by crap pundits.

    Hope England go out in the group stages in the forthcoming World Cup as cannot stand nonsensical every four fucking years that we have a good chance of winning the tournament.

    Realise that the quality of the game these days is probably better however preferred it with the likes Brian Moore and the Big Match any day, when football was a contact sport and for the honesty and passion the game had to offer.

    Everything about the beautiful game leaves me cold.

  13. It’s an up market game these days Mr Fiddler. It’s fried chicken wings you throw at the people of colour………if you’re a raaay-sist of course.
    As you point out, poofery is still frowned upon.

    • I had grave doubts about Ashley Cole but after he married Cheryl Cole there could be no doubt that he really was a red-blooded hetro,and the foul,untrue gossip about him and “Big Sol” was just lies.

  14. It tells you something when the Fifa Secretary General is one Fatma Samba Diouf Samoura (no, its not made up) from that hotbed of football, Senegal. Seems like a token effnick and a woman to boot, thrown in to shake things up from serial bungster Blatter.

    The Premier League was probably the worst thing to happen to the game for the fans, yes moneys sloshing around, investment and backing from every toadying Kremlin backed oligarch and bored oil rich towelheads who want a new toy but the soul is gone.

    • I thought Senegal was a bit more “medicine ball.”
      Stuffed full of diamorphine hydrochloride…

  15. Oscar Wilde was married Mr Fiddler. So was Michael Barrymore, Elton John (to a woman) and even Frank fucking Maloney.
    I’m sure there are bumloving pro footballers but it’s the only part of the entertainment industry where it’s a distinct disadvantage. The day the first one “comes out” is the day we know it’s all over.

  16. Do all the players still have perms and snog each other whenever a goal is scored? They did back in the late 60s and early 70s.

    • No, now they all go to a hotel and spit roast a naive 16 year old… High Five’s all round Guy’s !!

      • Methinks they doth protesteth too much… the behaviour of which you describe is merely a cover to distract from their rampant poofery.

  17. Get this one. Two fucking illegal immigrants arrested after pretending to be “Grenfell survivors”.
    They racked up £104,000 in hotel bills. They were each given a pre-paid credit card and blew away 20 fucking grand . Oh, and two pre-paid Oyster cards so they could run around spending our fucking dough. Welcome to the land of free money and a fucking good time!

    • One even complained about the hotel food, nothing from the liberal self-loathing evil Tories mantra, knee jerk hysteria of mob justice to these pair of greedy opportunist cunts surprises me anymore.

    • But in reality who is the Cunt.. them, or the gullible liberalista Bell Ends that support and defend this type of criminal Shit…

    • Our government cannot give taxpayers hard earned taxes away fast enough to the lazy, the feckless and the least deserving in society.

      A couple of illegals can take this country for £100k+…. those responsible all the way up to the top should be fired for incompetence.

      I am staggered how totally fucking useless and inept our current governments and appointed employees are, just when you think it can’t get any worse they surpass themselves with yet more fuck ups.

      This country is well and truly finished.

  18. Meanwhile, at the Grenfell gig..

    Some truth does out. I have bored everyone rigid for months with the message that the fire brigade are not the happy chirpy bunch of “Come On Lads, Let’s Save These Kids..” but are in fact a militant Bell End flavoured bunch of workshy Risk Averse Cunts who sleep on shift and have second jobs as a result… watch this space for info as the enquiry progresses.. They do say an efficient fire brigade is one that saves more than it kills.. I think I know the answer to that one. Wonder why CFO Dany is no longer appearing in the media??

    • Dany has gone as you say significantly “silent”. He knows perhaps what may be coming !

      • Indeed Sir.. there was significant debate post the Ariane Grande Concert attack in Manc last year.. the fire brigade cried and whinged they were “misunderstood”.. I dont think so, you restrictive practice Militant Union, Smug Pompous Cunts.. Come the enquiry, hosted by the same Labour crew their Union so adore, the verdict is that they Fucking Failed Massive.. Cringed at holding Points as it were.. the Paramedics performed splendidly, as always, but, Horror Upon Horror, the Police did well. And made the initial entry despite a risk assessment that would have had the nearest fireman cowering in a nuclear bunker.. Best not mention it then…Just a quick reality check.

  19. I follow the footy but, like modern politics, it’s all one big soap opera. Gossip, intrigue, drama, betrayal, takeover bids, bust-ups, litres of controversy sprinkled with lashings of humour.

    Fuck all local players, foreign money, endless chatter on-line from the Chinese fans whilst native English fans rake over the same old embers of history.

    We might as well argue about two marbles rolling down a hill.

    Ridiculous prima-donna, monosyllabic, dim-witted, millionaire ballet-dancers revelling in beautiful mediocrity, pretended loyalty, and some of the best thespian antics on the screen.

    Nonetheless, I fucking love it.

    • Best get a tatt of an assault rifle on your leg then spit roast a drunken slag with 5 mates then… Come On Melchester…!!!!!!

      • Spit-roasting and hideous tattooes? Ahh yes, Beckham was a tinker, wasn’t he?

  20. I have always loathed football from the first time I was forced to play it at primary school.

    A moronic game. Played by morons and adored by a bigger bunch of gullible morons.

    To give you a taste of how moronic football must be, a morbidly obese yank who hasn’t seen his own balls in decades gets a say in where the world cup gets played and then squeals up the rest of the über corrupt morons who took back-handers to make it so.

    Cunters, I give you the recently deceased Chuck Blazer.

    Fuck me. You feetsball lot must be really thick to let a fat cunt from a non-feetsball nation have a say in this shit.

    At no point did alarm bells ring for you?

    Oh, and football is a game played by 22 grown morons chasing a leather clad pig’s bladder up and down a field, while each being paid the price of several new hospitals for the privilege and rolling around like a dog in fox shit if another player even comes within six feet of them.

    Seriously, is this as far as the human race has come? Is this trully how fucking stupid you are?

    This is a general rant and not an attack on other cunters by the way.

  21. I like the IC3 footballer turd who has the obligatory hard luck story but now lives in a mansion sort of thing going on… in particular his Gun Tattoo, of course it’s to celebrate his dead dad who got slotted in J’maica. Really? Why? Why was he slotted, in what line of work was he, was he just walking along when some J’maican ragamuffin thought. ” I know. I’ll slot this Cunt”.. but clearly his leg Tatt is harmless. featuring as it does an assault rifle, not designed to appeal to a Psycho Fucking Gang Based culture at all is it.. you can see Ghandi and Martin Luther King having similar body adonrments cant you.. What a total hypocritical Cunt Turd.. You would have to be a Prostitute to suck this kind of Shit Up… Apparently.. PS. I saw that Saint Gary of Leicester, the Crispy Turd, pronounced this all as innocent japes, adding that ” its unpatriotic to undermine our team”.. Well , Gary you Fucking Spacker. 1) Your comments indicate you get the concept of Patriotism , which seems to be alien to most of your previous anti – English comments you ill thought out Cunt.. 2) Fuck off to Brussels you Goal Hanging Bell End…

  22. Off point……
    If you ever want more reasons to leave the rancid turd infested swamp called the EU this week gave you them…..
    first up the anti democratic bollocks in Italy!! Not happy with rigging their own referendums the Cunts in Brussels have now started meddling in member countries general elections!!
    And today we see Xavier bettel ( who’s he you may ask) the prime minister of world superpower LUXEMBOURG!! Openly mocking the U.K. in the European Parliament!! FFS!! Since when was it acceptable for some fucking arsewipe from non country Luxembourg to start shouting the odds!!
    These political Pygmys are so emboldened by EU membership!! It’s like the little mouthy cunt at school hiding behind his big brother!!
    Hopefully when the EU folds the UK will remember who said what ,where and when…….
    Fuckin Cunts!!!

    • Your not off point..
      Do you think the italians sort of, you know, resent like Fuck the fact that “their” President refuses to acknowledge the two parties with the most votes as being most proper to form a government… Excellent. Confusion to your enemies I say. The EU is starting to look a bit like.. Well, Berlin really, isnt it??

      • True about the little nations finding their voice, Joseph Muscat of that economic giant Malta has been vocal in the past over Brexit, since he has been cosy with Blair cunt that speaks volumes. No wonder McKrankenstein wants in, strutting around like the Highland Merkel.

        • If the EU still exists when the Krankstain achieves independence ( Good… Fuck Off You Parasitic Cunts ) she will find admirable use in |Brussels as a Wank Sock…

    • Blighty is so despised because the toss pot cunts know they can get away with it. May is a fucking hunchback disaster. Will do nothing to upset the Germans and we all know how that line went under Chamberlain. Even Luxembourg has a wank over us for crissake. Total humiliation.

      • My plumber, I mean Heating Engineer, reckons all British babies should have to word MUG tattooed across their foreheads at birth.

    • Am sure that Bettel means something like “beggar” in German…

      Luxembourg – not snowflakes, but soapflakes.

      Amd as for Junckunt, a couple of quarts of hot Nitromors up his back passage might do him some good…

  23. Off topic but has anyone heard of that proposal from a retiring Luton judge calling for the blunting of all knives? How about we just go the whole hog and ban pens – after all, they can stab somebody too and we don’t need biros when computers and Microsoft Word exist right?

    • But Judges , coming as they do into daily contact with reality and Crims, must be the the font of all knowledge on these matters… Silly Old Cunt’s. Rounding off the end of knives would be a major step forward in the fight on crime, as 1) Many criminals dont use knives.. they will do you with a Phillips screwdriver. Just coming home from work, see.. And 2) Stabbing /penetrating injuries tend to be the mark of premeditated stuff.. slashing/cutting wounds, particularly causing defensive injuries, would in no way be affected by the proposed advice of my learned Turd.
      Out of interest, what in the (alleged ) opinion of (some ) polis is the difference between the legal profession and criminals.. A: You can find a little respect for some Criminals!! How we all laughed!!!!

      • Out of interest, a “Sharpie” marker pen ( other brands are available ) apparently does a good job of incapacitating Cunts, particularly when placed into an attackers eye socket. Carried for purely legit purposes, of course. your Honourable Wizened Out Of Touch CuntShip…

      • Learned turd? Excellent stuff HH……. 😂
        Blunt knifes huh?
        Here’s a radical idea for all judges, how about handing out proportionate sentences for crimes you utterly clueless remote liberal wank stains ?

    • My desktop comp is now about 12 years old, and about wanked out.

      I think it could do someone a very nasty injury. Even with its rounded corners.

  24. This fucking dimmo judge better ban rope because I intend to hang the cunt.

  25. Off topic,but just seen an ad on the telly for Save The Children. The usual emaciated brown babies covered in flies while an earnest voiceover urges us to give £2 a month to save young Um’Bongo or whatever it’s called. What on Earth is the point? We’ve had these ads for years now,and presumably the latest crop of Um’Bongos are the offspring of the original Um’Bongos that we gave money to save a generation ago.
    They never learn,they just continue to breed because they know that guilt-riden Wicked Whitey will cough up to keep the beggars alive….and so the cycle begins again.
    I’d be urging people not to give a fucking penny. It might then become clear that an endless stream of “Aid” does them no favours whatsoever,and just continues the charity dependence that blights so many African countries.

    .Don’t give a penny,it’ll save the next generation from suffering just like their parents. Fuck them.

    • I truly don’t understand why the starving coons don’t do the obvious thing and eat their children? I mean, little M’bekebongo, if he survives, will undoubtedly travel north in ten years time, struggle across the sea, into Italy and eventually arriving in London, where he will be bumped off by one of his fellow architects over a perceived slight about a dropped chiggun wing. So his parents might just as well scoff him now.

    • I take your point Ricardo but surely it must hearten you that indirectly your cash is sponsoring some self righteous NGO to abuse and sexually molest these victims… It’s called the law of unintended consequences. Or the Gift that keeps on Giving…

      • Yep,Vast amounts of charity cash certainly doesn’t seem to have solved many problems,just exacerbated some and thrown up a whole slew of new ones.
        Perhaps a rethink on the whole Aid concept is needed.

        • You’ve got it all wrong Dick… your £2 only goes so far… in the case of Save the Children it goes toward the £163,000 salary of chief executive Justin Forsyth (former adviser to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown when they were Prime Minister) and Anabel Hoult, its chief operating officer, who was paid £168,653. (Figures correct as of 2013).

          Besides, how could these ‘charities’ justify their existence if not for a continuous supply of “emaciated brown babies covered in flies”?

          As Tony Hancock would say, “It’s a racket!”

        • Your on the right track Ricardo… and it’s not just the obvious suspects.. the whole system is Fucking Rotten… chatting to a buddy about service overseas.. he had been on attachment to the UN on missions in Bosnia and Kosovo, He was well qualified, but was working alongside detachments from such nations admirably suited to assist in developing democratic institutions such as Uganda and Pakistan. The level of corruption was astronomic. Leaving aside the bribery and straightforward theft, running of prostitutes and sexual favours, one of the African contingent rocked up with his mistress who was on the UN payroll as a “secretary/ aide”. I naively asked what such a band of Cunts could contribute to the development of a democratic state. Answer: The UN paid a bounty to the relevant contributing state for staff.. so shit hole nations were queuing up for the privilege. Did they achieve anything…? Dont be silly, that was never the point. Corrupt worthless Fucking Cunts,

    • Indeed, Mr F. I don’t undersand why the starving blacks don’t just go the whole hog and eat their children. I mean, little M’bekebongo, if he survives, will undoubtedly make his way north in 10 years’ time, struggle across the sea, into Italy and evetually arrive in London, where he will be bumped off by one of his knife-wielding fellow architects over a perceived slight about a dropped chiggun wing. So his parents might just as well scoff him now.

      • Good job he wasn’t stabbed by an IC1 or it would be considered racist… BLM would be all over it.

      • But Mr Cunt-Engine, Dianne Abbott has already told us that black mothers would “go to the wall for their children”….do you think that she meant the wall where the takeaway window is serving up deep fried Um’Bongo? It’ll take a few of those runty little fellows to satisfy Dianne, I fear. She’ll probably get through a bigger serving than Cecil the Lion ever managed.

          • To be fair black mothers probably do go to the wall for their kids because it sure isn’t going to be their fucking dads, MIA most of the time.

        • Another option: I don’t know if you’ve ever seen ‘Tank Girl’, but there’s a bit in there where Malcolm McDowell wrings every last drop of human moisture from a poor unfortunate fellow. If we could somehow persuade the white man’s infernal internal combustion engine to run on liquified africans (30p a litre), that’d *really* help with my fuel bills. Hell, my “fun” car only does 14-15mpg!

          • Wouldn’t it be easier to just get a palanquin? Either that or Goodies style pushbike where you could have 3 unfortunates pedalling like buggery while towing you in your padded trailer…That would leave you free to shout abuse and chuck missiles at any undesirables who impeded your grand progress.

    • They’ll get nothing from me, the workshy, oversexed wasters. My money’s on Ebola.

    • I get so fucking angry with this type of guilt trip advert.

      Over the years the world has given billions in aid to Africa and it has achieved precisely fuck all.

      Lazy fuckers just keep breeding hoping we continue to feel sorry for them and keep sending more money.

      If they can’t help themselves fucked if iit then becomes my problem and why I should care.

    • I used to donate, only last year I sent my sunbed and a pair of left shoes to the east African appeal, did I get any thanks?
      None whatsoever!
      I’ve learnt my lesson………..

  26. When some soppy cunt collapes to the floor holding his fucking face when another player has merely brushed his hand against his fucking hair they should put it on the giant screens with CHEATING CUNT written on it and all the crowd shoud point and chant

  27. I always liked Rodney Marshs story about Alf Ramsey who fucking hated him told him he was in the England team that day but warned him that if he wasn’t performing well he was gonna pull him off at half time to which cocky cunt Rodders replied ‘oh ok but I usually only have a cup of tea’ Cheeky cunt.

      • The game was full of characters in those days… Rodney Marsh, George Best, Stan Bowles, Frank Worthington, Tony Currie, Charlie George, Robin Friday, Gordon Hill, Willie Johnston, Peter Osgood, Alan Hudson, Tommy Baldwin, King Denis Law etc…. Now it’s mostly fancy dan foreign mercenaries, who get the money but don’t get what that English game is (was) about… No rapport now with the supporters whatsoever… Oh, and Mourinho is a fucking cunt and all….

    • Sorry, not really into football, so have never heard of this Linekunt you fondly refer to.

      • You probably know him as Saint Gary Jugears Taxdodger. He is a well known crusader for the immigrant poor and oppressed whom he happily employs to clean and tend to his garden at his various mansions….. 30% below minimum wage, cash in hand, no questions asked. He is also happy to give them a generous 50p tip at various posh restaurants he frequents as long as they are suitably servile.
        The man is a fucking saint. I’m surprised you haven’t heard of this paragon of virtue.

        • Thanks for the heads up – high praise indeed!

          I must see if he gets a mention anywhere on the impartial, award winning BBC website.

  28. The only thing that saves football is that to play it you have to be fucking good and everyone and I mean everyone has had a go at playing football. the top players are just that, they are the very best. Not saying they deserve their wages far from it, but at least we know they are excellent at what they do. The “entertainment” business is different, so you get fully fledged cunts like sLily Allen who with out her mum and dads backing would be 3 kids deep in nappies and a paid up memeber of upper Norwood gala bingo. The problem with modern football is that there are so many people who could not dink a penalty to save their lives creaming in millions and we are paying for it. Agents, FA blazers, FIFA cunts etc all should be eradicated and then we may have a game we can worship again.

    • Oi you cunt! I live in Upper Norwood and there is no “gala bingo”, whatever the fuck that is. How dare you suggest that my communidee would accept a piece of shit like Lily fucking Allen. The knocking shop opposite the railway station closed down years ago and we only accept white slags if they’ve got braaaawn baabeeys.
      My communidee voted remain and our Blairite remoaner MP has a majority of nearly 30,000.
      My fucking communidee is fucking smart see? Innit?

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