Mark Zuckerberg (2)

Citizen Zuck –
Would you buy used data from this man?

Saw the cunt Zuckerberg on’t telly t’other night greasing, squirming and clamping his arse cheeks tight in petulance before the Congressional Hearing into his allegedly scummy little dealings re Facebook. Looks to me for all the world like the murderous inbred nephew orf some dodgy Roman Emperor. The style is not so much All American Clean Cut as Clean Cunt. As I recall he allegedly ripped orf the idea for Facebook from a college friend. Apparently sporting a rare whistle and tie for the occasion, an honest light blue Charity Shop number. A fine brand, have enjoyed me patronage for many years but be advised, do check the pockets and crotch for deposits before purchase. Yours Truly might have tried that suit on.

If Orson Welles was still around he would doubtless be engaged upon the final rewrite orf his latest Oscar winning production, “Citizen Zuck” based upon the exploits orf the eponymous (look it up cunts) bringer together orf the world through the internet, the above named cunt. You see Zuck has a mission, to make life more tickety-boo by relieving us orf all our shit and stuff (apologies for West Coast nerd speak), the clutter of digital rights and possessions that gets in the way orf our interactions and stops us being Friends or Dictators or Perverts or whatever we want to be. In Zuck Think possessions are bad and the best thing he can do is to take them orf our hands for us. How? He has come up with a Gizmo called the Monetizer which safely converts Stuff into Money which is then held in a very safe place by Zuck and his philanthropic cronies so we need never worry aboit it agin’.

Alledgedly not a Statto so leave that to others better qualified but Zuck must be right because he owns so much money that otherwise would only be a burden to us and has made our stuff useful to select third parties orf a philanthropic nature (Putin, Trump, Clinton, double glazing and funeral plan salesmen ect ect). What bastard cunt has got hold orf my age?

In short, and to cut a long story, Zuck Orf, go play with your Rosebud and monetize your arse.

Niminated by Sir Limply Stoke

45 thoughts on “Mark Zuckerberg (2)

  1. Quite. Zuckerberg is a fucking snake for all seasons.

    Having caught the odd excerpt of his recent testament fucking circus, he’s like a fucking robot. He is a sinister cunt and no mistake – every time I see this cunt he reminds me of Ash, the android in Alien who went fucking nuts. Brilliantly acted by Ian Holm, there was that one moment before going apeshit where he had that utterly vacant look on his face – I’ve been reminded of that scene watching Zuckerberg malfunction across the last few weeks.

    I’m still torn though as to how much Zuckerberg’s cuntitude has been bolstered by the legions of omnicunts who all seemed to think that they could submit every detail, photo and personal tidbit of their fucking lives to some website without consequence. FaceBook is a priceless mine of the Holy Grail for governments and corporations alike. But hey, your data is perfectly safe in the hands of some evergreen high-schooler who shafted his own fucking buddy for the ownership of the site, rite? Rite Guys?

    Zuckerberg has done sterling work, contributing heavily on making Orwell’s 1984 a reality. One of the true masterminds behind today’s vapid, self-obsessed society, Zuckerberg deserves to be aggressively rogered by 40,000 flaming cocks in hell simultaneously, for all eternity.

  2. I’d just be grateful if someone could explain to me just what it is that Facebook and Zuckerberg have done. I gather that it’s something to do with selling data off Facebook,but don’t really understand what was done with it. Did he break some confidentiality clause to get the data?

    • Can’t help you there Dick. As far as I can tell he’s just another clever cunt taking advantage of the idiotic times we live in. And he’s got a voice like Kermit the frog, which is a mite irritating.

    • Facebook have taken data from gullible cunts. Simple. I think Obama used it in the past for his campaign. However, this time it may have been used for the Donald and Leave. Therein lies the problem.

  3. Dick, short answer, YES.

    Long answer… the festering pox-ridden raggedy whore that is Facebook, has managed to get literally millions of retards to put their secrets on the very secretive internet. The thing that connects every PC, laptop, phone, tablet, web-server, router and modem around the entire fucking world through the phone system. About as secret as air.

    So how “secret” is the fact that (these are real from some acquaintances (not my friends obvs)) 1) you “violently hate your next door neighbour and deliberately lit a bonfire whilst his windows were open” and showed off about it on farcebook”. You “don’t socialise in town because you’re a letting agent and tenants are scum” but then tell everyone in the entire fucking world that you are in the Pig & Whistle with ten named (innocent) people, or 3) got violently pissed over the weekend and was too fucked to go to work. Oops. Lost his job, the cunt.

    But I digress, seems to be a thing that happens to contributors on ISAC.

    The reason that Facebook is so fucking hateful is that every comment, like, dislike, silly fucking picture of a kitten saying something, is recorded against your signon. Soon a profile builds up. “Taking the dog for a walk in Regents Park, hope I can park the Royce” gives them your pet loving credentials, rough location (which subsequent posts will no doubt refine) and the fact that you own a Rolls Royce. Social class is also determinable from this. In short, every silly throw away like, dislike, typed garbage, and click, tells them something. That SOMETHING is worth literally $Billions to the advert mad USofA and other developed countries.

    The opposite must also be true to prove something, so, here it is. Fuckerberg is exceedingly pissed off that the UK and Germany have circa 30% of “users” that are cats, dogs or even goldfish. Can’t sell the new Ford Tippex to a cat can you? The data is worthless.

    • I am available for children’s parties. Nothing cheers up a room like when I walk in.

    • Thanks Clactonite. That is the best explanation I have ever had. I actually understand it! I know that was for Dick, but Im sure he’ll be happy to share.

      • Simps, It was a secret message for Dick. Must the internet doing its dark magic again. Ha ha.

      • Might I add my gratitude for that erudite explanation Clactonite. At last I know what the wife must be getting up to, locked away in her bedroom hour after hour, day in, day out.

    • Thanks for that, Clactonite. At least I now have some understanding,must admit I really didn’t get what it was all about.

  4. I’ve never trusted social media. I have a Facefuck account just in case but I never use it and I don’t ever really intend to. They ain’t getting my data.

    • So what I do is own the narrative. All my shit is out there for people to view. And never trust a guy in a grey suit. And any cunt who yobs on a tie without any notion how to tie it. Priscilla was having a bad day when she tied him and sent him off to Congress.

  5. Off topic but there are three women Jockeys in the National tomorrow… It wouldn’t it be a surprise if one of them won in the current feminazi world we live in. Keep an eye on Claire Balding hanging around some of the favourites with a big needle disguised as a dildo. I might put a bet on.

    • B&W, she might rub a soapy sponge over their backs in the shower. I leave that to a fertile imagination that mine cannot deal with. Just had lunch too.

    • Females who ride horses, ‘ride’ horses.
      That’s why your queen rides side saddle…… Can’t have your queen having a soppy pussy, other than Charles, in public…….

  6. I gather there was some using that data to target voters and sway their opinion.
    Of course, zuckerburg, just like all the other modern billionaires whas probably been entertained and flattered by various goverments and their agencies. Now the voter influence thing is out, the mysterious “they” need a sacrificial lamb.
    Let’s hope this will be zuckerberg. Only because he is a figurehead for every lgbtxyz on earth.

  7. Bit of a conflict there. The snowflakes think the National is a ritualised slaughter of poor ickle wickle innocent animals and all jockeys should be hung.
    But you can’t hang wimmin because they are a persecuted minority.
    Maybe they could de-friend them on Farsebook? ( got it back on topic there )

  8. Arsebook as a total crock of shit. I do not subscribe to it but I have a sockpuppet account in the name of a ’70s TV personality (now deceased), complete with their photo, so I can have a nose at other know people’s arseholery when I am going through a bored phase.

    The trouble is that ‘being’ that ’70s TV personality, I get dozens of requests from strangers trying to ‘befriend’ me. FFS, get a life you fucking sad arseweevils!

  9. Off topic but I’m in a bit of shock. Sat down to have lunch with my elderly relative and there was a programme on TV about cunts going to see their GP. That was it. That’s all it was, including a graphic view of sores and rashes that put me off eating. Fucking disgusting.

    • Nothing like a dose of terminal knobrash with weeping open, stinking, oozing sores when tucking into your cheese baguette, eh CnR?

      • You should try a Wiener Kaesekrainer, hot dog with cheese down the middle.

        When you bite it, it hits right at the back – instant thermo-tonsilectomy.

        I was a cunt, because the guy on the stand did have the kindness to warn me…He just didn’t say how uncomfortable it could be.

  10. I used to have a facebook page as Drazen Mihalovic with a picture of Josip Perkovic.
    Seeing as both were historically nasty cunts I was quite surprised at the amount of ” Friend requests” I received.
    I then got kicked off.

  11. When asked if Zuckerberg would feel comfortable sharing where he stayed the night before, Zuckerberg said: “No, I would not.”

    When asked if he thought his platform was favouring specific political agendas, Zuckerberg said: “No, I do not.”

    When asked if he thought his platform was suppressing specific views and free speech, Zuckerberg said: “No, I do not.” – and then qualified that with – “I’m very proud of our intelligent filters which automatically suppress terrorist posts and the like.”

    The reality being that only domestic far right views are being suppressed, his platform is riddled with Johnny Taliban posts clamouring for the deaths of the infidel.

    All politicians are cunts, however Zuckerberg is is a dangerous cunt!

    How I’m glad I have nothing to do with his shit-stained neo-liberal platform nor any others of that kind. ISAC is about as far as I go and that’s more than enough for me! The cunt!

  12. I am collecting ISAC data to sell it to Amazon so they can target advertising of pile ointment and incontinence pads. I stand to get a free supply. Suckers.

  13. does Adblocker work on Facebook?. if it does and everyone used it wouldnt that just fuck up their MO?

    • Zuck beat you to the punch dear heart. You have to pay Facebook to place advertising on their site or to promote your page to other users. Add blockers do not work. Point is these jaspers that buy your details use them to target you wherever you go on the internet and place cookies in your browser or on the sites you visit to direct the crap to you.
      You have to install blocking software in your browser, keep it updated and it still lets some orf the cunt through. Dioclese is the man for top gen orn this if he is aroinde.

  14. Think orf Zuck and Facebook like this me hearties. You pop along to the quack for some anti-biotics because your NSU is playing up again in tandem with the old piles (a lifetime in the saddle). While he is giving you the old wire probe up the cock he cheerfully remarks that the NHS is safe in his hands because a new funding model is being introduced which will ensure that it remains free at the point orf delivery. Bonza old bean now just hold still while I take a quick snap for the records. Very interesting case.
    Thus you toddle oit orf there with your knees together sucking a boiled sweet and clutching a prescription. A few days later able to walk again you spot a Daily Mail in Patel’s One Stop and Vomit Mini Supermarket with the headline “NHS Funding Crisis Security Breach” and naturally stop and buy one (Patel is a dead canny cunt so YT never tries to nick one). Park me old arse on a bench and start to flick through. Then bugger me right across the centrefold is a photo orf me old horseprong at the receiving end and spaced aroinde it details orf how quacks have signed up to a scheme to flog orf patient details for large amounts orf cashola to private health care companies so they can target punters with time limited special offers.
    Further thus, YT is bombarded in the post by targeted mailings for products such as Arse Ice and Canna Cock, the cannabis impregnated condom (Suck One ‘N See) and starting to get very leery looks from the fucking postman. Needless to say the product variety keeps changing to match me latest ailment. How convenient.
    So that is the Zuck business model, offering “free” stuff in exchange for personal details which are then sold on to interested third parties.Naturally not a Zuck invention. Acrorss the board orn the internet now, how Google works and the latest “free” versions orf Windows 10. Give away the software and recoup through targeted advertising.

    • What a delightful mental picture you paint, Sir Limply. I’ve lost all interest in Zuckerberg and Facebook and can only pray that a bottle of Bushmills can drown out the awful of image of your piles and “horseprong” being exposed to public scrutiny.

      • I don’t give a toss aboit me patient confidentiality being compromised old FiddleBum. What gives me the arsehole is not being paid for it.

  15. Tom Daley blirting on about gay rights today. Shut upbyou stuplid little poof. You are an athlete not a politician. Your boyfriend (husband sound ridiculoys) is old enough to be your uncle:weird.

    You are becoming a biring little nancy boy.

    I us a poof who obce snogged a black man so I know about these things..

    Shut the fuck up or I will put sonething in your mouth to shut you up. Prick.

  16. I don’t have a social meeedja footprint at all, partly because I see it as vacuous, partly because it’s obvious you have to agree to give away your data or whatever to any old Tom, Dick or Vladimir and partly because I have a life and have fuck all jnterest in ever meeting up with the class of ‘87.

    I’ve stayed friends with only 2 people from school as we were friends before going there and we’ve always just really got on, Facebook really could be called Cuntbook as it’s festooned with cunts laying their wanky lives out for us all to see.

    I know people who use it and go on endlessly about ‘reunions’ and how well they are doing in life and love to let their old school friends know and vice versa, get to fucking fuck on a NASA rocket and don’t come back you utterly shallow cunts.

    So what’s all the fuss about, I struggle to summon up any interest but from what I can deduce it’s possibly got something to do with The Don and maybe Brexit and so called ‘illegal’ harvesting of data.

    But alas, didn’t the cunt Obama Barak’s campaign Team employ the same tactics. I think they did. So either I’m missing something here or did Cuntbook do something different this time around?

    But hang on, if you sign up to Cuntbook you agree to give away your data to any cunt they see fit so then what’s ‘illegal’.

    We don’t have to be rocket scientists to work out what’s going on and in a way it really quite funny but what’s really pissed me off about the whole affair is I was going to buy some shares in Cuntbook as I’d heard they’d tanked but you just knew it would be short term then obviously under pressure from major shareholders Zuckercunt appears in front of that committee and hey presto puts $2bn back on the value in an instant.

    What a cunt, he could have at least waited until I’d chucked a few grand in, if I was on Cuntbook now I’d definitely unfriend him.

  17. I can confirm that AdBlockerPlus works on Facebook.

    Zuck is a fucking snake oil salesman like Gates, good at marketing.
    “Six days after the site launched, three Harvard seniors, Cameron Winklevoss, Tyler Winklevoss, and Divya Narendra, accused Zuckerberg of intentionally misleading them into believing he would help them build a social network called, while he was instead using their ideas to build a competing product. The three complained to The Harvard Crimson, and the newspaper began an investigation in response.

    Following the official launch of the Facebook social media platform, the three filed a lawsuit against Zuckerberg that resulted in a settlement. The agreed settlement was for 1.2 million Facebook shares.”

    Watch the film. Its quite revealing.

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