The Oscars (3)

Ahead of tonight’s gala, Hugh is in LA getting the low down on what to expect.

Hollywood is abuzz with excitement. This year should prove to be spectacular.  The ladies and their attire are the cause of much speculation and the talk of the town. Will the gowns be a splash of vivid colour or the more sombre black?  Plunging necklines and thighs visible or the more puritan Pilgrim look?

The #metoo World Tour is coming back home to its roots. No hypocrisy or contradictions here in Tinseltown. Just good old down to earth people, with a social conscience doing their bit for the better of mankind. I am among so many like minded souls. It feels like being home in Islington among the intellegencia, creatives, media gurus and acting legends.

This year at the awards the Academy has decided to honour the profession by creating several new categories:

Best performing female actor for a leg over

Best performing female actor in achieving a leg up in the business

Most virtuous female actor  (this category has so many worthy nominees)

Most powerful female vocals  in the #metoo campaign.

A special ‘junior’ category has been created to recognise those who are mentoring aspiring young Actors.This category is strictly for those who enjoy working with the under 18’s.  The Academy felt that since Hollywood has so many working in this field, it was time to recognise their contributions. The nominees in this category are very modest and tend to shy away from publicity.

Best Producer with a hands-on approach to talent spotting starlets

Best Producer in a mentoring exchange programme                                      Developing talents, physical acting and career enhancement.

Best Actor with a keen gaydar for mentoring boys

Most comfortable casting couch in the props and scenery category.

Deepest female actor’s throat in the sound category.

Best female actor’s facial close-up shot in the cinematography category.

Best low budget video and stills published in the small studio category. Open to amateur and professional filmmakers.

And lastly:

Best film of all time with an all black cast.

The 90th annual Academy Awards certainly promises to be an exciting ceremony like no other before. It will be a long festive night here in Hollywood.

By Hugh Chattering Islington-Cunt.

78 thoughts on “The Oscars (3)

  1. Looking forward to the following:

    The Jennifer Lawrence Lifetime of Jizz award
    The Angelina Jolie cut of your tits because you are a lunatic award
    The Meryl Streep best supporting child rapists award (allegedly)

    • No allegedly about it she has along with others publicly supported a convicted child rapist Roman Polanski

      • And all the other Time’s Up scum who have crawled around Polanski’s scabby old jacksy (Cuntii Goldberg, Natalie Porthmouth, Skanlett Johansscunt etc)…

    • If only ISIS did turn up for a star spangled slaughter fest, what fun that would be. We would all be able to own a piece of the action ( literally ) as body parts start to fly. We could collect bits as souvenirs, hold parlour games where we build a new star from various pieces of others. And best of all, we would never have to put up with all of the shit ever again.

  2. Meryl Streep gets Oscars for bluffing her way through a script she never wrote yet Nina Hartley has made me cum 5837 times and gets over looked year after year…… Not even a nomination.

    It’s not right……. # pornstarstoo

    (it’s just porn, porn, porn, with me, innit?)

    • Yes a thinly veiled parable on how all “aliens” (i.e. gimmegrants) are victimised and simply misunderstood by the baaaad indigenous citizens.

      No, most are cunts pure and simple Guillermo, and that includes the 11 million illegals from your country – Mexico – who have reduced California (one of the wealthiest states in the US) into a basket case.

      Fact: 30yrs ago California was voted the state where most US folk would like to live. A poll just last week has it flat last. But, that has absolutely NOTHING to do with uncontrolled immigration of millions of illegals from the Southern border, absolutely NOTHING.

      Guillermo Del Toro = William the Bull.

      Or “Billy Bullshit” as I like to call the cunt!

      Put him down for a brace of Oscars at least, virtue-signalling cunt!

  3. Who really gives a flying fuck about the Oscars other than the cunts that turn up hoping to win something? Oh, plus of course all of the pathetic hangers on, arse lickers and media cunts, who try to build up occasion to be more than it actually is.

    A glorified convention for those with huge egos who get paid a shit load for doing not a lot.

    Great posting by the way.

  4. Sorry cunters but I need a favour. A really big favour: It has come to my attention that Munroe Bergdoff or whatever it’s name is has been at it again! She needs to be re-cunted on a permanent basis. It has been sending homophobic tweets to lesbians and practises withchcraft becuase it is black…..

    Plwase re-cunt this confused fucktard immefiately.

      • Yeah that was very confusing wasn’t it? It pilloried homosexuals to Lesbians in the most discriminatory fashion. What was said , would have sent most to jail as a hate crime, yet I understand that nothing is to be done and no action taken. Is this because a) It is black ? b) It is LGBTFO ? c) Fluid in extreme. d) Just fuckin’ Lucky.

        I see the story got pulled quite quickly. Either way, he , she fucking it, is a retarded cunt, and an ugly cunt at that.

    • Bergdoff did a Flabbott….I wrote and said all that stuff when I was 23, now I am 31 and a different person. Oh well, that is okay then……..fucking left wing weirdy cunts

  5. The Oscars are kept alive by Televised promotion. The companies that screen this shite are targeting a class of moron that eats Big Macs at breakfast while watching Jeremy Kyle. It’s all about advertising revenue. This means that normal cunts, just like us here, have to endure all of the fucking fallout and crap that goes with it. Switching off is not enough. Just Nuke the fuck out of Hollywood.!

    • If we keep adding to the target list someone is going to have to get busy in the warhead production department.

      At least it would be value for money compared to 2, yes 2 carriers with no fucking planes or escorts – at least the ship type escorts – we could pack the things with cheap Eastern European hookers if Birdman has not booked the lot of them!

  6. Fucking International Split Arses day today and our favourite, the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan tells all he is a feminist. This short cunt sure knows how to play to an audience.

    • That’s funny because I’ve never heard the cunt condemn or challenge Saudi Arabia of their women’s rights??

      Being allowed to drive.

      Being stoned as adulterers after being raped.

      Being allowed to have jobs.

      Yes the Mayor of our capital – Londonistan – is about as vocal on those feminist issues as he was on say…London Bridge, Westminster, the failed Tube bombing! All on his watch by the way!

      However, the cunt didn’t need a loud hailer in his condemnation when Darren (fucking, cunt, bastard) Osborne had a pissed-up, weed fuelled go in front of (Terrorist Central) Finsbury Park Mosque did he!

      Little fucking shit-stain.

      Did you know, his Father was a bus driver (obviously because mini-cabs and Rohypnol hadn’t been invented back then)?

      Looking at Fenton’s avatar: “Not a lot of people know that.”

      The cunt!

  7. The cunt wore a sash with the words “deeds not words”. Then rambles on about all decent males should be feminists. Fuck off you short arsed muzzie cunt

    • Methinks Mayor Suck My Cock Khan is on a dodgy wicket sucking up to Queens, Wimmin and Western Values. He is head honcho of a Muslim City in which the majority do not share his views on “Wimmin”, Queens, poncy boys and so on. It is hopefully possible that Khunt Khan is thrown from a rooftop as the result of some fatwah. One thing that all muzzie types hate, is a muzzie on the” turn “.

      just sayin of course.

  8. That Blacks And Blacks Only fucking movie has grossed half a billion. Half a fucking billion for a deliberate discriminatory anti white cunt of digital celluloid.

  9. Off Piste

    Burlesconnie seems to be doing very well, as are other right wing parties in Italy!

    What a fuck up if it comes off. Merkel is reported to be crapping herself.

    • I am praying that Italy get such a far right Government that would make Hitler‘s Jaw drop. Just so we could see the look on the faces of Merkel and the cunts from Brussels. Then send all the peaceful fuckers in Merkel ‘s direction

      • A cunt just right of Mussolini would do just fine!

        Maybe all those boats 1km off the coast of Libya would then be sent straight back there instead of the 800km North to mainland Italy (of cunts on their way to Fantasy Island – the UK) would dry up then.

        Go on Silvio, we’ll turn a blind eye to the odd arse-pinching incident if you can put a rocket up Merkel’s cunt!

        • Italy declares war on ze Fatherland, bombs Calais, torpedoes those soapdodging Libyan blagslags…. One can but dream….

  10. I’m gob smacked how film critics including Cunt Kermode have praised Black Panther as a piece of cinematic art of the highest calibre. I don’t know if any of you Cunters have seen it but it’s one of the worst films ever, the acting is atrocious and the story is pathetic. But not one film critic would dare slag it off because of the nearly all black cast. Fuck you Kermode you unprincipled Cunt.

      • You mean Coming to America wasn’t a documentary!?! Shit!

        I’ve never been to Africa but when I retired I was going to treat myself to a visit to Zamunda.

        It looked great. No fucking illegals, “peacefuls” or non-binaries there from what I remember?

    • The forever doable Salma Hayek is the only big name who has actually named Harvey Wankstein and given details about what he got up to…. While self serving slagbags like Cumdumpster Lawrence, Scarlett Johansscunt, and Emma Twatson mouth off about how they are against harassment, but they won’t condemn or even mention Uncle Harvey… Probably because they are well in with him (and the fucking rest)…

    • Maybe they’ll win best actress in a foreign role?

      You know like Dame Judi Dench playing Queen Victoria when it was quite clearly a role intended for Thandie Newton!

      Racist cunts!

      • Wonder if he’d like to earn another £15? I’m prepared to stretch to a couple of extra quid if he’s prepared to stand down while I board her.

  11. A parade of parasites, poofs and whores. Nothing else to say except I wish some Muzzie or gun nut ( translates as “white supremacist” ) would take an AK to the lot of them. Cunts !

  12. Did anyone see Berlusconi getting accosted by that topless Femen weirdo? I thought the greasy old git was going to cop a feel. What is it with these Femen slags anyway? Nobody ever knows the reason why they do it, as whatever the silly bitches have scrawled on them gets blurred out. Also, no one is ever looking at the writing, just checking out the jugs. They must be a bit unhinged, thinking they are making a serious political point, when all they achieve is looking like a penned up crack whore strippergram.

  13. Will the late Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, and other lads who suffered abuse and sexual assault in Hollyweird get a mention off the Time’s Up celebrislag mob? Will they fuck… Why? Because they are self serving slags, and they are self centered, self publicizing turds of the highest order and complete cunts… As grumpy old George sang:

    All I can hear
    I me mine, I me mine, I me mine.
    Even those tears
    I me mine, I me mine, I me mine.
    No-one’s frightened of playing it
    Everyone’s saying it,
    Flowing more freely than wine,
    All through the day I me mine…

  14. Fatty arbuckle Started this #me too bollocks ramming a dose filled drug addled whore
    and i reckon mary pickfford had enuogh cock laid end to end to put hand rail across the golden gate bridge and back and gary cooper show biz career started while he was shagging stars (i forgot her name)his first was seargent york and won a cunt and a good film you tube it
    but batshit crazy hollywood disdainful fuckwits and the ultiamate word CUNTS

  15. The term used by old Camp’s (poofs) for females was ‘Fish’ I thought is because the were trying to be derogatory about smell or something but now I see what they meant, they are just schooling fucking Feminists with no mind of their own except to follow the cunt in front of them. Bet the Oscar promoters had massive amount of consent forms printed for the pillow biters, clam munchers and even RSPCA sign off for the after function festivities. Can’t even watch a movie now without seeing them for who they really are. Self serving self gratifying bunch of cunts.

  16. I’ll bet Birdman stayed up all night glued to the telly. All the cock sucking and arse licking going on would be right up his street. 😉

  17. Does anyone actually watch this steaming pile of rancid, self congratulary dog wank?

    According to the MSM, over a billion people watch it.

    I would like to know who these billion people are, simply so that I can address every last one of individually and call them thick, gullible cunts.

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