Modern slang

Modern phrases that grind your gears and make you want to kill.

I think we can all contribute to this thread as there are so many of them. My current favourite is “My Bad”. A work colleague said that to me the other day by way of an apology for her fuck up.

I just wanted to grab her around the throat and say:
“Listen Mrs, you are a 55 year old white Englishwoman….. you are not a south central Los Angeles gangbanger wearing an oversized white t-shirt, a reverse baseball cap with your strides hanging halfway down your arse and you never fucking will be, Stop being “down with the kids” ( another expression that pisses me off ) and act your fucking age before everyone realises you are a thick as shit cunt.”

But I didn’t. Over to you Ladies and Gentlemen.

Nominated by Freddie the Frog

My Bad? You axe me? Mah homies? Nucular?
Hand me the fucking flamethrower Martha and fire up the woodchipper.

Scenes from Aliens and Fargo dance in my head whenever I hear the movie stars, rap shit and worst of all ‘Mericunt politicians talking like this on the TV.

Movie stars you can forgive a bit ‘cos they only read what some other dipshit has written,rap stars ‘cos they can’t read or write. You just can’t forgive politicians because they’re all cunts anyway and probably say it on purpose to get the moron vote.

Don’t even get me started on the Sports Commentators who say ” they podiumed again this year” or “they were expecting to medal”
I’d run out of fuel before I got finished !

Nominated by Paul Ya Plonker

I would like to nominate for a cunting the buzz words and phrases used by the liberals and the leftie right on snowflakes, there are probably dozens of the fuckers.

Some of them hit my wind up button, for instance , ‘community’ when used by councils and social workers, ‘inappropriate’ used to end a discussion and uncomfortable, how the twats feel when they don’t like your views. Even typing them has made me annoyed.

Oh yes ‘campus’ – a school near me is titled as a “community fucking campus” what the fuck is wrong with “school”. Community champion is another phrase winds me up.

Nominated by Civvydog

141 thoughts on “Modern slang

  1. I work for myself thank the gods, any office cunt who uttered anything along the lines of “touching base” or “blue sky thinking and thought showering” would have the water cooler shoved up their shit pipe.

  2. I have long had murderous thoughts each time some middle aged bbc dj uttered the word “massive”, or the words “big up”.
    Jesus, just thinking about it has sent the red mist up my spine, over my cranium and is jostling for position over my eyes.
    What lazy wankers. The same mentality that is behind the ridiculous shortening of all the words in a text message.
    Yet another reason our society NEEDS the reinstatement of public birching.
    Yet another example of idiot thinking by those desperate to be thinking about where, and what they would like to be doing; instead of concentrating on where they are.
    What utter, utter, shameless cunts.

    • I find swear words used in the correct context far less offensive than ‘my bad’ ‘lols’ ‘massive’ ‘big up’ or ‘smashing it’

      So no one should mind when I use good old Anglo Saxon, bastard, cunt fuck, shit et etc et

  3. Followed a van yesterday with a sticker proclaiming it was protected by ‘electronic imaging technology’.
    Luckily there was a picture of a camera next to it so I knew what they were talking about.

    I should point out that this was in Wales and the Welsh never use one word when six will do.

  4. Top cunting civvydog. There’s a couple of of cunts who use ‘my bad’ in the office. It grips my shite, it’s top of the list of my wank words and phrases.

    One perpetrator is an white overweight middle aged woman, much like described in the OP. Now she rarely does anything in order to make an error or mistake, but when she uttered this bollocks, I stood, looked then retorted along the lines of ‘what the fuck does’ that mean?, you’re bad, we’ll get the fuck to the Drs then..

    I’ve also heard an uber cunt civil servant sit in a mtg and spout off about the need to ‘stove pipe’ the detailed requirement as we are currently experiencing a ‘ capability air gap’ with regard to existing needs, therefore in order to obtain senior ‘buy in’ and ensure all areas are ‘singing from the same hymn sheet’ wrt to this we need to abandon the ‘blue sky thinking’ and run the ‘concrete proposal’ up the seniors ‘flag pole’ in order to obtain agreement…..

    I decided at this point, I needed to go for a very long shit…

    • Found that a blank look and “Sorry no speak fuckwit” usually works in such situations. My bad, fucking bollocks. As to down with the kids can see that becoming part of the lexicon as appears popular with male peacefuls and the many Jimmy savile, Gary glitter types. When I risk a visit to my birth place to visit my brother I cannot understand what most of the younger people are saying a noise comes out the mouth but contains no meaning. But I am happy to be a mardy cunt so bollocks to the lot of them. My bad for fucks sake.

  5. Wigger words! Foreign crap,! Foreign alien cunts! Cunt the lot.

    Solution. Detain, re-educate. Expel exterminate.

    Outcome. White Britain as it used to be before Vince Cunt Cable.

    • I’m there friend. The revolution will be televised, but not the Beeb eeccc cunts

      • Then Sir, you are master at Arms and in the future Government You may have any post of your choice….ps are you glock friendly ?

        • I’m thinking a fleet of Toyota pickups to start with, suitably modified with rear pickup mounted 1/2 inch calibre FN Herstal M3M machine guns.

          Should be adequate for forays into Lutonistan, Bradfordistan and many other peaceful ghettos.

    • cf. “The Bed-sitting room” (Spike Milligan) –
      “a razzamatazz, we’re doing the Daz,
      Keep Paddington white on a Saturday night !!”

  6. Like most matters nowadays, the English language is being corrupted as many view this as a fashionable thing to do.

    More’s the pity that those same cunts couldn’t tell you what an adverb or a semi opaque was, even if their miserable life depended on it.

    • Yes! And corrupting a system like a language is a demonstration of pure ignorance. It is another example of the uneducated attempting to tear down the pillars of rational thought.
      Fucking felching cunts!

      • 100% – the more the language is degraded, the more the individual’s ability to think clearly and engage rationally with the world is diminished.

        The sheeple are far easier to manipulate, brainwash and control if they lack sufficient language to think for themselves and see from whence their crooked masters are coming from.

        Is it any coincidence that so many leave school these days unable to read or write properly?

  7. 60 year-old vicar’s son from Lowestoft, Timothy Westwood, everyone:
    The epitome of this splendid cunting. Who wouldn’t want to see him murdered by the very savages he seeks to emulate?

    • What in fucks name was he fucking talking about? “So much love ” ???? Feckin cunt!

      • Westwood ALWAYS was a cunt.

        I remember this fucker from the occasional Friday evening foray on listening Radio1FM as it was styled back in the day.

        I’m surprised the ‘big dog’ as he likes to call himself has not been cunted before… Unless I’m a cunt and he has…

        Has he discovered clothes that actually fit yet, the gobshite wanna be gangsta wrapper cunt.

  8. Communiee, socieiee, responsibiliee. These cunts that leave the ‘t’s’ out in words especially when talking about political issues does me in. If we come back here in 100 years we wouldn’t know what the fuck any cunt was talking about. Init.

    • If you couple this bastardized language with the meaningless content of the lives of the general populous, it is impossible to know what the fuck anyone is talking about right now.
      I have developed my “elderly selective hearing” very early in life so I cannot hear any of this tripe. I have also stopped wearing my glasses so I can’t see in any detail the cunts that are spouting said tripe.
      Forget one hundred years, in twenty years I’m sure I will be percieved as being insane and suffering from horrific and traumatizing hallucinations.

      • Indeed Cuntflap, people conflate their right to free speech with a right to being heard.

        Folk can say what they please, whether I will listen is down to me.

    • The cunt who uses that fucking lazy bastardising of our language is Liebours very own shadow education minister Angela I went to Universiii Rayner. A jumped up over promoted average students union rep. Just a cunt.

  9. Not slang but completely overused and to describe a purpose that will be anything but: ROBUST.

    Every cycle of years there’s a single word that is used over and over again – often inappropriately – and by any cunt whose fizog or utterances hit the idiot lantern or airwaves, and this cycle it is the word “robust”. It’s like dog shit on a white carpet: it gets everywhere!

    Theresa May: “A robust response…” (which = folding quicker than a napkin)

    ABBC: “A robust enquiry into Sir Jimmy – who none of us really knew…” (which = shit! I hope they’ve got nowt on me)

    Cresida Dick: “Swift and robust action…” (against London “peaceful” terrorists which = go to Finsbury Park Mosque for a “peaceful” love-in)

    Unless you are selling locks or safes then I don’t want to hear you use the lie “robust”, especially if you are from the Meejah or Cuntminster because as soon as you say that word we all know it will be anything but! You cunts!

    • I think that’s a very strong powerful vigorous study and tough post RWAC … 😂😂

      • Don’t worry, the Government and authorities have made it quite clear that they have been perfectly clear about everything.

        • I like the miss use of the word robust, I used to have an off roader with 4″ structural steel sills, 3mm thick belly armour, and off road armour bumpers front and rear.
          I recall parking at my local shit fest supermarket and some stupid bitch parking up nice and snug next to me ramming her door into my car twice before realising that .3 gage mild steel folds on contact with 3mm x100mm structural box steel (how I laughed)

    • Yes Rebel, other words or cuntish sentences over used are
      The narrative?
      Not fit for purpose.
      Cunts who can’t string a sentence without endlessly saying ‘like ‘ basically, or cool at the end of every sentence.

        • Every cunt they interview on radio four starts the answer to a question with the word ‘so’. And then come out with a load of crap.

          • Any cunt using the phrase ‘going forward’ should be torn apart by horses on pay for view tv.

        • So, I often find myself starting sentences with “so”. I know I shouldn’t (I really fucking KNOW I shouldn’t), but I do. Please feel free to beat me, cos I deserve it…

    • Cressida Dick “Swift and robust action” = “oh gosh, I’ve sharted.”

      • Surely her name itself is word salad. There should be a comma and a question mark. Thus – Cressida, Dick?

  10. Thread drift alert! My two young children are watching CBeebies and a programme called Biggleton has just come on.

    It seems to be a fictional town or ‘commoonittee’. First scene features three macaroon kids, one an amputee, looking after some chickens in a coup.

    Somebody should explain to them that entrusting chiggun to macaroons is akin to trusting your young daughter to Ian Huntley.

    Anyway, the idiot lantern is now off.

    • Funnily enough I just saw an ABBC ad for their “BBC School Report” show.

      A gaggle of “United Nations” kids (if you know what I mean), no doubt from London, wringing their hands and shaking their heads over knowing if a story/report is real or fake news.

      Well my teenage friends, if you want to avoid fake news, you should immediately stop watching the ABBC and start watching Fox News instead.

      Oh but that’s right, Fox was pulled from UK TV screens wasn’t it (cunts).

      Not to worry, you can watch Fox News via YouTube, and while you’re there, go and watch Paul Joseph Watson if you want the truth.

      • And I’m also fed up of the cunts continually pushing the non-story about Russia.

        This has now spanned 3wks for fuck’s sake!

        Pity the duplicitous cunts at the ABBC weren’t so fucking keen to cover ‘peaceful” activities following Manchester/London Bridge. A token 24hrs – that’ll do nicely. There you go nothing to see here! “And now over to Faisal Islam for a report on Easter.”

        Fucking ABBC cunts!

      • According to fake news FOX news was pulled because about half a dozen people watched it??
        Lying Cunts!!
        SKY are utter Cunts just look at the fuckin dross they screen and Fox News gets binned for it viewing figures? Oh really…….

        • “I am Jazz!”

          Sky show this shite. Look it up. It’s not a one-off it’s a weekly hour long show.

          Lots of folk I knew switched to Fox News because Sky, ABBC, ITV, CH4/5 News are utter shite and totally marred with the socio-globo-libero group-think bullshit that I can no longer stomach.

          So maybe the reason Fox News was pulled was because viewing figures were actually increasing! Cunts!

          • RWAC…..
            I’m sure I read sky actually said viewing figures were a paltry 2000 a day? Really?
            like you I find abbc and sky news difficult to digest and was a daily watcher of FOX , are we seriously expected to believe with a population of 65 million people many I’m sure like us fed up with the bull shit liberal bbc / sky agenda only 2000!!! Found their way on to fox? FFS …

          • “I am Jazz”

            I can’t work out when a deviant changes from being a Gay to being a tranny? Is it when they’ve had their plumbing altered? Can you have a Gay tranny? No wonder they’re so confused.

          • A big butch lezzer who looks like a fat baldie bloke , but is a “wimmin” and proud to be an ugly cunt “wimmin” fucks another fat baldie bloke looking “wimmin” lezzer, who can only be a “wimmin” to be a lezzer. Because if they were tranny, they would not fit into the deviant category of mancunt…….I think.

          • I stopped watching the national news some years back and still appear to know what’s going on more than the ABBC.

      • Fox was pulled because the breakfast time re run of a certain news programme was gaining traction in the UK.

        • Hopefully the Tucker Carlson show. The only sooth-sayer in News at the moment.

          And I wouldn’t be surprised if a Fox show was gaining traction because in Lutonistan at work, if no cunt was in the kitchen area then I’d switch the TV from “ABBC Breakfast Lies with Charlie & Louise” to Fox News.

          When I went back you could guarantee that “ABBC Lies 24” would be back on.

          Yeah, in a workplace wick wi’ “Parking Stanleys” they don’t like debates on illegals and cracking down on immigration (probably a bit too close to home for the cunts).

          One time I even swapped channels and hid the controller. Next time I went for a brew it was off. I put the cunt back on via the button on the set. Next time it was off again. The TV has no timer off function.

          So there you go, the parkeys don’t like discussion on illegals or immigration up ’em Captain!

          Fucking cunts!

          Ah well, won’t be long before we get the Nine O’clock Shariah News from Finsbury Park Mosque with Faisal Islam!

          “As-Salaam-Alaikum and good evening.

          Our top stories today: the law banning women from driving achieved a 100% victory in the House of Jihadis today, just like every other law passed since we took power from the infidel.

          In other news: the capture, torture and throwing from Mohamed’s Spire – may peace be upon him – of batty boys and bean flickers is still bearing fruit with the current tally 1,274 so far this year. Don’t forget to report any deviants to the authorities and Ayatollah Khan promises an additional virgin in the afterlife for any information resulting in the hideous death of a deviant. We all love those Spire throwings don’t we!

          And finally: we stoned Lily Ibrahim Allen to death today. She hadn’t committed any crime, she was just an irritating cunt! That’s one thing the infidels had right from the off!

          Wa Alaykumu As-Salam. Good evening. Faisal Islam, Finsbury.”

  11. Review
    Wide ranging enquiry
    Lessons will be learned
    All phrases which follow the exposure of a monumental fuck up, usually by some arm of government.
    It really means….. batten down the hatches until the plebs forget about it.

  12. It started with managementspeak. Meaningless bullshit to fill space. My favourite is ‘workshop’ as a verb. A workshop is where joinery or engineering takes place. It is not a verb and has no relevance to arty farty bullshit.

    ‘We need to workshop this concept to see a paradigm shift going forward.’

    Not one iota of meaning in that sentence. But it sums up a whole industry.

    • I loathe any noun that’s turned into a verb:-

      “Can you ‘evidence’ that? We need to evidence it.”
      “He just doesn’t know how to parent.”
      “This is going to impact your ideas.”
      “Hey man, let’s party.”

      These are used by lazy, poorly-educated peasants who have feeble minds and lack character.

      The only exception to this is “To Cunt” someone which is used by people with tenacious minds and lots of character.

      • Eg:

        A particular detail on clothing “referencing” something else from same maker’s range.

        ie a button stuck on somewhere, for no apparent reason.

        Unimaginative, pretentious tosh. Often thanks to Burberrys, something else now gone down a sort of USA crapper.

    • Could we maybe run that workshop idea up the flagpole to see who salutes, going forward.

      • Idiot: “Message me.”
        Captain Mags: “What?”
        Idiot: “Message me.”
        Captain Mags: “Send you a message?”
        Idiot: “Yes.”
        Captain Mags: “Alright, how do you spell Cunt?”

  13. Old but still overused expressions/ words that raise my heckles!!

    Basically…. I had a window consultant? ( double glazing salesmen in the real world) visit me last week, he must have hit me with 50 basicallys in the unfortunate 45 minutes I spent with him…….

    At the end of the day…. another old classic….😡

    To be honest with you…. I’m now making the assumption the Cunt who said this has actually been lying to me previously….

    Have you got the right time?….
    who on earth goes around knowing they’ve got the fuckin wrong time??

    • I used to occasionally bump into a mate worse for wear because he had been drinking since lunchtime. (a black’un as it was called. No idea why)
      I would ask him if he had been drinking all day and his reply was always ‘not yet’
      That put me in my place and is similar to ‘the right time’

    • Can’t believe I missed out….
      If I can be frank with you?
      Or be frank about it?
      Who the fuck is frank??
      Off the record? Generally means the person saying it will repeat whatever is said to the very next person they see……
      user friendly? As opposed to what? User unfriendly?

    • “Fine wines”…

      I’d love to open a place that advertised “Rancid, vinegary plonk”…

      Oddly, an awful lot of what I’ve been sold fits that description perfectly.

    • Here in wales we have the long standing and wonderful “in a minute now”, and one of my personal favourites, the “coat jacket”.
      I am not sure if the nation of wales is collectively taking the piss, but it does seem that way.

      • North Wales seems to be plagued with “He/She turned ’round to me and said…”

        Why wasn’t the cunt facing you when they began addressing you ?

      • Even in Francophone Switzerland, la veste (jacket) seemed to be replacing le manteau (coat), at least linguistically.

        Somebody even asked me “What’s the difference ?”

        Well, about 24″ of cloth, to start with…

        • Jimmy Carr did a great skit on this when being jocular about accents. In a Welsh accent he kept saying, “Which coat is your jacket? Which coat is your jacket?”

  14. One phrase that has crept in is “from the get go”. What the fuck, I’ve heard in sports commentary given by supposedly intelligent, rational broadcasters. Speak in English you cunts.

    And another I hate is the overuse of “unique”. Every other TV ad has product or places that are “unique’ or worse “almost unique”. Cunts

      • So literally almost unique, we can’t be arsed to reach for the Profanisaurus…

    • Another particularly piece of nonsense spoken by sports commentary Cunts is using players names in plural …..
      It’s been going on in football for years and now crickets infected too….
      “ England are looking to the likes of your bairstows , Morgan’s and your stokes,s to turn this game around , I suppose you also look at your broads And Andersons as well” CUNTS

      • The batsman’s Holding the bowler’s Willy.

        The old one’s are the best…

        Colemanballs, by any chance ?

  15. What about Gay or Lesbian workshops. Unless it’s in the context of physically working with tools it’s not a fucking workshop.

  16. Spout gibberish back at them. I did it with devastating effect to a Health and Safety officer who was overseeing us when we were removing some trees that were leaning towards power-lines.
    He was using phrases that had us eyeing the Cunt like he was speaking an alien language,not technical terms,just silly combinations of words as he gave us our induction lecture. Now considering that he didn’t know our job,I wasn’t too taken with this degree-level nutsack. However I discovered that by following his example and just connecting random words as if they were technical descriptions of what we were doing left him speechless…”downward parabala momentum”, “reverse-thrust back tension”, “linear,land-site projection” etc had him pussystruck trying to work out what the fuck I was on about. Of course,being a Graduate of the University of Gobbshittery,he didn’t like to admit his ignorance,and I spent many a happy day thinking up new phrases to “run up his flagpole”,as he liked to say. He was too busy trying to decipher my word-jumble pronouncements to even consider what he were doing. Indeed,I’ve since wondered if he ever regurgitates any of my gibberish at other people. I think by the time the job was finished he was almost in awe of my ability to describe the most mundane action using completely inappropriate words.

    Fuck them.

    • Are you a specialist wood based organic removal and maintenance operative DF ?. The chin stroking twat was probably ‘umming and ahhing’ over you wordplay skulduggery.

      • It’s shocking just how I’ve been described over the years, L.L. I do a bit of farming and the odd bit of forestry and yet I’ve been referred to by more titles than fucking Prince Charles…just a shame that none of them were ever very complimentary. “That Nasty Old Cunt” seems to be the current sobriquet amongst my acquaintances.

  17. My eldest can’t stand white lads who try to speak like darkie’s from somewhere called the hood.
    I personally look forward to a time when things have moved full circle and people start telling each other to ‘nark it ‘ and stating that they need to get some ‘ bunce ‘ so they can go out at the weekend. Then I’ll know what folk are talking about. Until then my responses to the current gibberish will be of an Anglo Saxon flavour. Kiss my fucking arse being a particular favourite.

    • I am always amused by the use of the term “the hood”.
      To say one is from the hood is frankly ridiculous as any educated person can clearly see that you can only just fit your head in there, let alone the rest of your body.
      To infer that more than one person can come from “the hood” is obviously therefore utter idiocy.
      A decent education would iron out this sort of misunderstanding.

  18. Someone once told me he didn’t have the right tools to finish a job he had started. So being helpful I said ‘ come round to the garage and borrow what you need’ he looked puzzled, turned out the tools he meant were of the computer desktop type, he didn’t know a spanner from a stud extractor, cunt.

  19. And who could forget these two timeless classics, often used together, and often in the same sentence…

    “It is what it is!”


    “We are where we are!”

    Usually used by feckless management types who haven’t got the stones to go back to the brass, or customer, for being thick cunts!

    • Never say never is another one used by “important” politicians, especially when they promise *lessons will be learned”

  20. Football commentators are cunts. Every single one of them (BBC, ITV and Channel 5) now say “The goalkeeper JUST ABOUT saved it” which means he failed narrowly to do so. What they really mean is the fucking goalie ONLY JUST saved it. I wrote to Points of View on this subject but my colourful (colorful to our North American friends) adjectives and nouns must have proved too much for them. It was never read out. Cunts.

    • A Ron Atkinson favourite: “He does that for fun!”

      I suppose the £100k+ a week has nowt to do with it then!

  21. Off subject, I just read that prince Harry is not protecting his £30 million fortune with a pre nup …
    Yes I know we’ve all been burnt after a divorce, but I didn’t take him to be a naive plonker of epic proportions. She’s a fucking bounty hunter , it won’t last, and when the marriage goes down the shitter in a couple of years Harry is going to be one fucking huge wedge lighter. Someone needs to get power of attorney over the cunt, after all it’s public money and we will all end up with spunk on our faces.

    • And it will be worse than that when he inherits Hewitt’s estate as well!

      Anyone remember Eddie Murphy’s Raw stand-up video?

      The: “I want HALF Eddie! HALF!” sketch.

      “Yeah, fuck that!” – is the right answer!

      “I want HALF Harry! HALF!”

      “Er, yah, hmmm. Maybe I should have had that pre-nup after all!”

      “Sho’ nuff Harry! I axed you not to and you were a weak pink-pussy struck cunt! Ayyyyeeeeee!!! And I ain’t takin’ Leroy and Lakusha either! I’s got shit to do with all this money! I ain’t needin’ no weird lookin’ kids holdin’ me back! Face!”

      • I become all slappy when I here some cunt say;

        “D’you know what?”

        Even Farage has started saying it every other sentence, but he has become very cunty of late.

        • No fucking idea why this comment came up under this thread. Is the troll about?

          What I meant to say here was;

          I had a pre-nup but I still had to pay the bitch cunt to fuck off.

          But pre-nups aren’t recognised under English law, assuming he is going to have the full monty at Westminster cathedral he can have her sign 1000 pre-nups and it means fuck all.

  22. Can I just say fuck off to st Patrick’s Day and all the cunts that celebrate it. Most cuntiest day of the year.

    • But what would the 8th/9th generation IRA sympathising (and funding) Oirish-Americans do for fun in New York and Chicago???

    • Yeah when the EU have finished with them all that St Paddies day crap will be “racially offensive” and “white supremacist.”
      You heard it here first you thick micks.
      See what I did there?

    • The only thing worse than those Chip-on-their-shoulder Oirish cunts are the Plastic Paddies.
      “Yeah mate, my great-grandfather once lived next door to someone whose brother once flew over Southern Ireland, hence me wearing this massive green hat like the fuckwit I am.”

  23. “Ms” . We know someone who demands she be called Ms. Which sounds like mis. which she fucking is. You are mr,mrs or miss, or if you’ve taken a chainsaw to your meat and two veg, a sorry arsed freak and keep it to yourself.
    Screwing up the language just to get some sort of pathetic status for themselves, probably got a face like bulldog chewing a wasp and a figure like a builders bag full of jelly.

      • Awww fuck…..I always thought it meant multiple sclerosis….what a silly cunt I am. I always wondered why lots of women wanted to tell people they had ms….

      • Hence the well known musical “Lez Miz”…… about a load of unhappy muff divers, deprived of their glorious future in the EU.

  24. How can we have had a discussion about shit modern slang without the worst of all, the grand-poobah of shite modern language:-

    ◾ Fam◾

    Worse than, “Yo, blood”, worse than “Hey, brother”, worse even than “bruh” – “Fam” is the lowest pinnacle, the point of least hope, the nadir of language.

        • Then gentlemen, I am bursting with envy for you must live somewhere leafy, green and far from our capital city. I hope you neither have to encounter this nor the feral simians who brandish it, although I fear it won’t be long before you do.

          I believe it began in ‘Murica though the virus has travelled over the Atlantic. It means ‘mate’ and is usually preceded by “Yo.”

          Diabolical and only used by knuckle-draggers.

  25. You should watch Arsenal Fan Tv after they have had a beating. They always interview this white bloke outside the ground going ape shit and every other word is “blud” and “fam”. It’s fucking hilarious.

    Listen blud, I ain’t avin it fam. Know what I mean blud. Woss e done fam, woss he ever fuckin done blud? Know wot i’m sayin fam?

  26. Where to start?…….Radio interviewees who start an answer to a question with the word *so…*, also on BBC radio far too much is *iconic* even soap opera crap. *busy millenuals”* millenuals on their own is bad enough, but fucking busy? doing what? having a wank or picking their noses. Busy studying who is number one this week. Far too many people use the word *inappropriate* even when it isn’t appropriate.

    It has always annoyed me that British people use the word *movie* when they mean film. Any appropriation of American cunts especially the sole white boy in a group of blacks who puts that fucking daft patois on even more than the black kids.

    Gobby old cunts on their mobiles, whose lengthy conversations on trains includes about two dozen *absolutely’s*. Nobody has a fucking cup of coffee (or sodding mug if they prefer) they are going for *a coffee* in the same way it is never half past twelve anymore it’s always *half twelve* cuntwit weather forecasters who always say *your weather* when they fucking mean THE weather, and the way we never have storms any more its always some childish phrase like beast from the east or Storm Mandy or whatever. And nobody has a brother or sister any more, they are *silbings* a poncy word – I have a brother not a sibling……I could go on for ever but you get the idea

    • ‘Absolutely’ does my head in. People being interviewed can’t seem to give one answer without using that fucking word.
      And why would anyone want to pretend they’re American? The overwhelming majority of Yanks are brainless loudmouthed cunts.

  27. It’s the americanisation of Britain… It started as far back as the sixties (and was satirised by the Stones with ‘Satisfaction’ and ‘Get Off Of My Cloud’)… It was done by and with TV commercials and consumer products back then… But now it’s much worse… All their crap is now our crap… High school proms, trick or bastard treat, crisps are called chips, Me Too celebrislags, NFL on the BBC, Marathon became Snickers, most of the popular music is American crap, and of course the language and twatty slang… A lot of it s either based on corporate business bollocks or gangsta shite from those (not so) lovable dark hued rap types… What a load of steaming cunt…

    • I only recognise G M T !

      And I’m surprised that they can get away with Snickers…too much like Wimminz underpants (in more ways than one).

      Iconic, as highligted above, has been abused, wanked-to-death, and I fucking despise “Heritage”, when something like “historic” could be used instead. “Heritage Railway” = Preserved Railway.
      I admit to being pedantic, as 1/2 my degree was in Linguistics & Phonetics. All this CRAP superheats my urine.

      It’s just some poncey, snowflakey, pathetic attempt to be “edgy”, different.

      Look up Dame Louise Casey. We may well have an ally. She writes in The Times: “Get on with integration” Ministers told.

      In fact, what all of us have been saying for ages. But it’s good to hear it in another place, and from someone who might even (I live in hope…) be listened to.

      • I forgot you’d studied Linguistics, HBH. In another universe we’d have had a spectacular chat over a few ales discussing the Adventures of English, irregular verb tenses, chunking, discourse markers,, the Phonemic Chart, stressed consonants and the sheer madness of English pronunciation.

        Ho Hum.

          • Way back in O level Latin days we had the Imperfect, Perfect and Pluperfect. Can’t remember the difference now, poor old sod.

      • Bring back the KJV Bible and compulsory Shakespeare at school, along with some c18 authors (like epic cunter Pope) to inspire today’s hopeless youth with an appreciation of how our once-wonderful language can be deployed with effect.

      • WTF Belinda? Why is it up to govt ministers (at a cost to OUR taxes) to ensure integration happens? It is not up to Brits or the British govt to make sure these savage cunts integrate. They should be told “integrate, and fucking prove you’ve done it, or you’re out; you’ve got 6 months to do it, you CUNT”.

        • Agree entirely, Francis…

          My feelings were / are that it’s up to the IMMIGRANTS to integrate, NOT for us to bend over backwards and accommodate. Apologies if I caused confusion about this. I think the Dame’s point was to ENFORCE integration, and certainly NOT as the two-way street that libtards love.

          As far as I’m concerned, immigrants can have MAX. 6 months to learn English PROPERLY, be tested on a number of things, and, if necessary, be kicked in the anus “return to sender” !!

  28. Another one that makes me mad are people who give you the “finger” as its know by your American, i was on the receiving end of it the other day, i stopped what i was doin and asked the “fingeree” if they were a yank , no was the answer. I said we have enough of our own home grown insults without importing them, if your goin to insult me give me the V up for fuck sake.

    • I agree civvydog, just what is this middle finger alleged insult supposed to represent? Presumably it is supposed to be phallic, thus doing this gesture to another bloke, just what does it mean? I want to shove my cock up your arse? Ooooo look at my finger isn’t it impressive?

      Guess it is something only poofters can identify with.

      It is meaningless to me, apparently it is quite popular over here in BG

    • This used to irritate me too, adding trendy, flavour-of-the-month words like ‘bodacious’ and ‘dench’ (for fuck’s sake!).

      I subsequently discovered that they quietly remove these fuckwitteries after a year or so and, consequently, normality is resumed.

  29. Cunts…usually young cunts….punctuating their every other word with the word ‘like’

    I.e, ‘So, I was like, and then she’s all like, and then he’s like’ etc.

    You’re not ‘like’ anything. You either are a thing, or you’re not. You imbecilic millenial cunt.

  30. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I have used ‘my bad’ recently. Who will absolve me? It just shows how all-pervasive the debasement of the language has become. I am a guilty cunt, and I shall try to mend my ways. But at least I avoid these:

    You are giving a speech or presentation, or answering a question. There is no connection between the topic and any preceding thoughts of yours. Your first word is: “So..”
    You are a cunt.

    You believe “I was like…” to be more concise than “I said”. You are a cunt. And a braindead cunt if you use “like” to fill a gap in your thought processes better occupied by thinking.

    You think “woke” is an adjective. You are a cunt.

    You turn nouns into verbs – eg ” to parent: parenting”. You are a cunt, a lazy cunt who doesn’t know how to use the language, and an Americunt.

    Gaaah. Cunts.

    • “Going forward”. Cunt. Try: ” we will maximise our brand loyalty while implementing best practice going astern” -inscribing it on a brick and sticking it up your cunt jacksie.

      • “The way forward”…

        Much loved by some bank managers in the early nineties.

        BMs for whom the only way forward, IMHO, was head first, at speed through a plate glass window…

  31. “How do you do?”
    “I’m good.”
    “I was not asking about your morals. I was asking about your health.”

    It’s nice to know I am not alone, keep up the good work, folks.

  32. I once threw a file (engineering, second-cut, not ringbinder) at the senior NCO in charge of me, for inserting ‘in actual fact’ in his stream-of-consciousness every thirty seconds.

    When charged, the officer remarked that he could understand my point and I got off with an admonition.

  33. Is there a fault with the java scripts or cookies? I just posted a comment and it appeared under another thread.

  34. These dumb folk are okay though. They never seem to use stupid words and if they did, I wouldn’t understand their finger gymnastics anyway.

  35. Modern English can be defined as the art of speaking a lot whilst saying nothing.

  36. You dissing me fam?
    Come round my hood and my bluds pop a cap in yo black ass innit?

  37. This corporate hipster cuntspeak climbs on my cock as well. Usually these bubble-living narrowminded office cunts who vanish to the toilet and wank at high speed over the Ryman catalogue. What I’ve noticed with a lot of these young affluent daddy’s girls ie Jacinta Harriet Fortnum Smythe and chinless cunts like that, is they seem to have their own coded language? “Ok yah, well and oh my god that was like so not right”. What the flamegrilled fuck is that and what does it mean? Stop being a cunt and speak clearly. Raping plain English in the arse with a chainmailled fist is a cuntish thing to do. Another one which makes me laugh is this current craze for calling fat-arsed girls in the US “thick”, because apparently they think it’s the word to describe their build? No…the word means someone who’s duller than a 1 Watt bulb with an IQ comparable to a blob of shit on the stairs.

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