Elizabeth Holmes


From the land of the fraud and the home of the scam, comes another episode of America’s Got Cunts. This time, starring former Theranos CEO…Cuntishly Extreme Orifice…Elizabeth Holmes.

Elizabeth Holmes was once the quintessential example of Silicone Valley’s socially relevant, world changing, Millennial Generation geniuses (read fucktard). She was going to change the world for the better. Like Mark Fuckerberg and her hero Steve ‘Rim’ Jobs…her visionary brilliance was hailed by everyone in the libtard media and the tragically hip social elites. She was held up as yet another example of how to make the world a better place by dropping out and following your dream. That is until it was revealed that her claims and her company were all bullshit.

Holmes…her scam company and it’s fuckwad/cunt President Ramesh ‘Sunny’ Balwami…were charged by the SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission)…with ‘massive fraud’. How massive. At the height of her scam the vile little cunt’s company was valued at over $9 BILLION!!! Although to be fair…the cunt and her ass(ociate) cunt are thought to have fraudlently raised only $700 MILLION from their investors. As a result in 2016 Forbes valued the company at ZERO! Today? Well…as part of the deal…she owes the company $25 million.

But let’s skip that for the moment and look at how much jail time this rancid bit of lady parts will do in Federal Prison. NONE! Ha! Take that cunters. As of today there are no criminal charges pending…that we know of. And why? Well you see this conniving little cunt took in some of America’s biggest names. Former US Secretaries of State Henry Kissenger and George Schultz…former Secretary of Defense William Perry….former US Senator Sam Nunn…are only some of the big name individuals scammed by this cunt. Many of Theranos’ Board of Directors…those responsible for overseeing the scam company…had ties to the US military or State Dept.

Reputable big corporations like Walgreens were also taken in. They contracted to do use her company’s testing in store locations Now, many of those test results are being called into question.

Of course…being a socially responsible Silicone Valley Corporation…she was active in politics…on the correct side of Social Justice…and supported Hillary Clinton for President. So how does all of this keep her out of jail?

To understand that we must look at what exactly happened? It seems that as a little cunt…this daughter of a USAID worker and a Congressional Staffer was afraid of needles. So after growing up and attending a year at Stanford University, she dropped out of school and pursued the Millennial dream of starting her own hi-tech company. Her goal…invent a better way of drawing blood. Her scam? A full and comprehensive blood test from a single drop of blood.

Using her ‘connections’ and a line of bullshit a yard wide and a mile long…she conned investors, analysts, and corporations alike…biking them of millions for a process that was all bullshit. Along the way she earned accolades and kudos for being the first under 30 female billionaire in the world and was held up as an iconic Next Generation Silicone Valley hero…or rather…in line with today’s PC nonsense…a heroine.

But sad to say…it was all a con and now people are NOT calling for her head. What? Well…the libtard media and apologista community are making excuses for her. You see she was motivated by a childhood fear to do good for others. And the problem isn’t that she scammed…she genuinely believed in what’s he was doing…she wanted to do good…but she just got in over her head. It seems after all…she is just another victim…albeit of her own good intentions.

So after bilking investors out of millions she made a deal with the SEC and those investors and thus has avoided any jail time…and indeed any criminal charges. She had previously been facing separate charges from the State of Arizona and made a deal with them as well. Un-fucking-believable! (In full disclosure mode it should be noted that she could face criminal charges from some other entity. But no active investigations are known to exist at this time…at least I can’t find any).

And so fellow my cunters among the many lessons to be learned here; (1) If you are connected to other (alleged) crooks…who just happen to be in power…you won’t go to jail no matter what you do. Just ask Andy Windsor’s (alleged) creepy friends if you don’t believe me.

And (2) Elizabeth Holmes and Ramish Balwami prove that white men…and white men alone…are indeed the only cunts who use political connections to avoid being held accountable by our racist/sexist white privileged society…NOT!

Spoiler alert…Phonywood is doing her life story. A movie entitled ‘Bad Blood’ starring the repulsively cuntish Jennifer Lawrence is in the works and coming to a theatre near you. So with all that said…and in anticipation of the upcomming film epic…I proudly cunt…

Elizabeth Homes.

Nominated by General Cuntster

12 thoughts on “Elizabeth Holmes

  1. How will Jennifer Lawrence prepare herself for this role?
    Probably the same as every other filum /pish/tat that she’s been in…. by pouting ever so glumly.

    Today’s actors all seem to have learned their craft by going to the George Clooney school of acting.
    Lesson 1.look down
    Lesson 2.look up
    Lesson 3.look confused
    And repeat repeat repeat……

    I know this wasn’t a cunting of shite acting, but Jennifer Lawrence was mentioned and, well…. Aaaarrrrghh….

    • I think they need to get that doyenne of acting – Rebel Wilson – to play the role.

      More of a fit than J-Law IMO.

      • I think they should cast Meghan Markel to play her.

        (Probably not enough time to rehearse before the wedding)

  2. The SEC is a waste of space, they very rarely collect any of the fines they impose and, like the General said, hardly anybody ever goes to prison
    (especially if they are American and well connected)
    Surprisingly though, Conrad Black went to jail, mainly because he wasn’t American and WAS an arrogant, privileged, rainstorm soaked cunt.

    All of the usual suspects/yesmen were on Black’s board of directors, Kissinger, Richard Perle and more, all at the trough of grace and favour payments. Another was the wife of the Pres of American Express who admitted during the trial that she just signed papers and never read any of them,… and that was accepted as a defence!
    Not one of them got even so much as a wrist slap, the only ones who did porridge were the high level flunkies.
    Take a look at how much is outstanding in unpaid fines in ANY Securities Exchange jurisdiction and you will fall off your chair.The miscreants just laugh, go back to the office and carry on using someone else’s name.. I know because I used to work in the enforcement end of things and it was like wiping your ass with a hula hoop!

  3. We Brits like to let our business crooks, such as Robert Maxwell or Sir Philip Green,asset-strip their companies and steal the pension funds before we convince them to get on their yachts and head back to their spiritual home….of course if Mossad happened to chuck Maxwell over the railings before he could spill the beans…well that would be nothing compared to a Russian spy being poisoned. Must say,though,I’ll say an “oy vey” if they don’t do the same to that other beaky gentleman, Philip Green.

    Fuck them.

  4. On a wider scale, how many banking cunts have done jail time? Answer is a pretty low number. A few token gestures. Money buys freedom it seems. “Justice”, yeah right. Cunts

    • A lot of people go to court in the expectation of justice. They’re disappointed to discover that what they get is the law.

  5. She looks like she isn’t a stranger to knocking out a tune or two on the old purple bedflute.

  6. Some wily cunt (re: lawyer) needs to launch a class action suit against her on behalf of everyone who got ‘tested’ by these fraudulent queefs.

    • Many of the results have been proven wrong and in fact she reached a settlement with Walgreen’s for around $30 million. But that still leaves the people who got false results…presumably the ones you’re referring to.

      It was described in the press as “another step towards redemption”.

      Fucking cunts!

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